BeYOurself

How much Can I take?

You pierce me with words everytime you can

You doesn't care about the scars you left

You just keep doing more

I might be learning by your side

But sometimes It costs so much

Pieces of me are going away

I just wanted your support

Because I doing the hardest thing I ever done in all my life

But you keep testenting me

Keep making feel bad about getting better, about getting stronger

I have to deal with so much

This world is not made for me

Because every hard work I make

You make it about you

You take out all my effort

That hurted me.

Because you promised to love me.

Promised to take care of me.

But in the end you hurted me!

I told you I wasn't ok,

I told you I didn't want it,

Yet you didn't care.

You just hurted me,

More than once.

You chose someone else,

Over me.

I'm sorry, for been selfish. I know that it won't make any difference to say I couldn't help it, but all I wish for you, for those who I love, is to not blame yourselves. I tried pretty hard, I went for therapy , I was taking my medications every day but nothing changed. I couldn't love myself! I always felt like I was on the edge, ready to jump down. I couldn't relax, I couldn't feel like I belonged somewhere, I couldn't feel like I belonged in this world... I felt like everything in me was wrong and it hurt so much, I felt so much pain that I thought I could suffocate from it. And I always became sad realizing that I am still alive. If you all reading this, maybe I finally made it, I finally ended the pain.

Think this as a ultimate act of love for myself, when I finally thought only in me, just...me! Like taking out a piece of beef stuck in your teeth, I finally could breath while not breathing.

One more time, I'm sorry. And I love you! I really did love you, I'm sorry for not staying. Please, do not blame anyone. It was me, and juste me. Live the rest for me. Love you very much.

I hope this never have to get to you, but I have to write it down, just in case.