Finally Growing Up

So now I’m single and it really really hurts. I’m trying to stay optomistic about it, becuase I know that God has greater plans for me but this change is just really hard to get use to.  I feel like I’ve been annoying all my friends about it because I need people to talk to about this, to process this. Maybe I should seriously go to therapy. 

Also, I  need to pick an outfit, remember to take my glasses, chug a bottle of wine, and pray for several hours.  

Good day! Great weekend. I’m thriving. It feels good to feel good again. I feel energized, alive, and ready to take on the world. I  want to bottle up this feeling and sell it.  I don’t really know what the change is but I  actually have the desire to do things and not just lay around and be mega lame. I  know the boyfriend likes me better when I’m in this up mood so hopefully I  can hang onto that. (Although, to be fair he still loves me and tries to make me feel better when I’m in my down moods too)

Had the job interview this morning. It was weird. I feel like I could’ve done better but I think I need to accept that ther’s nothing else I can do now. Is this even something I want? 

Got a pretty exciting call today. I’ve got a job interview first thing tomorrow morning. I definitely need to brush up on my interview skills and I’m a little nervous. Praying everything goes well. I guess we’ll see!

Good day! Nothing especially special but I think it’s really good that I’ve had some minor victories. I’ve taken the initiative (for once!!) to do things that I know make me happy.  I started the day with exercise, got some work done, did some laundry, and... well that’s pretty much it. But, it’s a start.  I  think it’s important to document the wins, no matter how small they are. I’m ready to stop focusing on the negative so constantly. It’s just annoying and there’s no happiness in it. 

The internal communication structure SUCKS. 

I don’t give him enough credit but my boyfriend is fantastic. The last time he came to visit, he brought me a whole buch of his sweatshirts/tshirts he was getting rid of so I could choose what I wanted before he donated them. That’s the kind of thoughtfulness that I recognize as love. 

Today started off not great. I was just trying to waste the day away and didn’t have a single thing planed. Spent the majority of the day feeling super sorry for myself and depressive. But now, I’ve gotten out of the house for a bit (only running errands but so what?) and I’m in a much better mood. I also got bojangles fries so that makes me happy. 

Take this weekend, for example. I  had an amazing time going to the beach with some old college buds. It was an absolute blast and I truly love being arond them. But as soon as I  got home I  went right back to doing nothing, not being exctied about anything, super major depressive bullshit that I know I  am better than. And yet, here I  sit. Not making any changes and dwelling in my own sorrows with no actual cause for my negativity. 

Hey tumblr, get ready for a make over

Spoiler alert: I’m still alive. 

I’m beyond thankful for my sweet friends who make constantly make me smile. 

I’m not saying that’s wrong of him, but, I’m definitely canceling the second date. I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in someone who just randomly hooks up with girls at bars.