why unicorns r extinct

I’m really enamored with the dynamic of two characters who work perfectly in tandem, like pacific rim drift compatible level, but they don’t like each other. It’s not even as strong an emotion as hate it’s just a very neutral-negative dislike, but they still act in perfect concert and their individual abilities are fully complementary

*does an evil hand rub while putting on hand sanitizer*

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

Sammich

bad thoughts at night/poster’s delight… but those posts by the morning/scrollers take warning

has anyone seen my sharp rock? i left it in the river for 100 years for safe keeping and now i can't find it. its many uneven edges have sentimental significance

fucking the everything bagel for everything