Some Stupid Ramblings

The Matrix crossover with the veterans!

the idea started from an erwin edit that seemed like a movie poster but god knows why and how I ended up doing all this. everything’s ultimate trash & low quality except for Levi..nity’s? ripped body hoho /w\

bonus: that precious child pulling off awesome tricks with spoons

Watch my music video:

So after 15 long years I am so close to getting a full diagnosis. Cyclothymia is a given but there seems to be other things going on that they think might be other things. No idea what till I see psychiatry. My mum and dad are effectively in denial that its anything other than bog-standard depression, I think they’re scared to admit that maybe my shitty childhood has had some impact on my mental state. I have been getting the lovely static-like feeling the last couple of days in my head which make me feel lightheaded. I can feel the swing coming on. I also made a mistake by stopping my citalopram by myself on my period week, menstruation has always had a negative effect to my moods. So, lesson learned.

I’ve also been getting nightmares and night terrors with the colours and sounds dialled up to 11 just now, I don’t know whether it’s being made worse by the fact I’m withdrawing or menstruating.

Today has been odd, I was high then low then high then low again. Yesterday was some dysphoric mania then Monday, Tuesday and part of Wednesday were just constant highs. Not fun since with my highs my sexual inhibitions disappear. Fun.

Urgh.