Sometimes I just need to get upside down.

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@finallyfindingmybalance-blog
Sometimes I just need to get upside down.

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This is the pot that Genevieve decorated at Bunnings on the weekend. We are going to give it to my mum, but it's so pretty that I don't want to!!
We've been very poorly and I have been having trouble with my phone. But we are still around. Yesterday we went to Bunnings for the littlest thing and found a free child's workshop. So of course Genevieve needed to paint a flower pot or two. Then we found "muddy puddles" so of course they needed to be jumped in.
Yesterday we picked up a second hand play centre for Genevieve. She is so happy and plays pretty independently on it! We had to scoot her mini trampoline up to the steps because she can't quite make the steps otherwise, but she just thinks that adds to the adventure.
Happiness is a child with bubbles.

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fromadaddysview you annoy me nearly on the daily, but I have never loved a person as my equal as much as I love you.
No matter the height of the fall your Daddy will always catch you.
I didn't believe in heaven until I looked into your soul.Â
Today I said goodbye to my car. Genevieve took it pretty hard, calling out "byeeee broken car. Me no sit broken car... Mummy's broken car". I am really sad to see it go but at the same time I see it as moving forward
Today was a snuggly day for bubba today. This morning she didn't want to wake up. Then this afternoon at my mum's she refused to nap so needed some quiet snuggles with her granny.

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Part of my self care plan includes enjoying the little things that I used to enjoy. I find it difficult and I fight it a lot. But I decided to give it a go tonight. Now I am frustrated because I can't get it right.
Why are people so insistent on "me time" "you time" "mummy time" etc. I have severe anxiety yes, but take that of the equation and I still want to spend all my time with Genevieve. I have no desire to put her in childcare just so I can get my shopping done. Why should I? I get all my enjoyment (and frustration, and anxiety, and sadness and much more) out of spending my days with her. Sure, its tough, it's bloody tough. We are still breastfeeding and it is draining. We are still cosleeping and night feeding, so some nights I get very little sleep even if she is asleep simply because she is feeding lots and it wakes me up. It's hard with Tim technically being here so people see no reason to support me, but him being asleep or absent so he might as well not be here. It's definitely tough trying to find the time or energy to study. And my goodness is it hard with only one minimum wage coming in. BUT We chose this. I chose to stay home. I chose to do attachment parenting because it felt most natural. I love my daughter with all my heart and I chose this. Why would I want to change it? Especially just because people are telling me that I need me time. My me time is sleepy cuddles, messy faces and breathless giggles.
We went to a friends house on the weekend and now I need to get Genevieve one of those play equipment things.
Genevieve found a gecko underneath her outdoor dolls house this morning. She wasn't too sure about him and didn't want to get too close. I thought he was pretty cute though!
If I could have her this way forever I think I would. The tantrums aside the honest wonder that is nearly constantly on her face just melts my heart every day.

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The first time Genevieve has eaten noodles. She was having a great time. I had put off giving them to her because we ate them so often when we had no money. But she absolutely loved it.
Genevieve is being an adventurous little one today! She discovered moving her chair to a place that she can't reach this morning. I let her go about her mission but her face when I interrupted her was priceless. "Genevieve are you supposed to be up there?" "uhoooooooh mummy!!" My lounge is a mess but we are having a blast!