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@finallyafeminist

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"Wonder Woman" is really emotional to watch, but not for the reasons you would expect.
Same.
An open letter to non-women who take female perspectives on how men treat them as sexism or misandry: women expressing their experiences in sexism does not equal misandry. It is not misandry to call attention to sexist actions in the hope that people would receive more respectable treatment, or to discuss how we have a problem with said actions.
Also, finding the one small part of a woman’s argument that was even remotely sexist, makes you look kind of shitty because that’s what you took away from all of it? The one minor part that felt like it was in opposition to you, that sent you over the edge, so offended in experiencing the horror of sexist treatment? We’re not saints, we can’t walk around all day fielding harassing looks and still have the energy to strategically navigate the mine field that is being a feminist with anti-feminists ready to take down your argument the second you slip up just a little.
...Lord help me from ever committing the social transgression of flirtatiously trying to end a conversation by acting stupid and speaking one male stereotype about pain tolerance at the end of an hour long conversation which began with me civilly responding to a guy saying “teaching jobs are for women only” and ended up with him saying, “now wait a second that’s sexist!” the moment I said the thing about pain tolerance, but before I could say, “that wasn’t fair, all things are relative.” Once I said it I knew I had fucked up. Never mind the countless sexist things he said about woman and men in the previous 59 minutes. All of it erased because I made one error. And the anti-feminist bells start ringing because me, a woman, said a sexist thing about a man to a man. Welcome to the club. Now multiply that small feeling of injustice by every moment in your entire life. Or better, use that insightful moment where you were so appalled by experiencing sexism to examine your own actions and see all the things you might be doing on a moment to moment basis, even in subtle, subconscious ways, that just might be super sexist. Put that offense to good use, not simply to create greater opposition because you now have the defensive right as a victim of sexist treatment. I experience sexism everyday and I don't use it as an excuse to not do the work of navigating the greater complexities and taking responsibility for actively trying not being sexist just because I experience it daily.
To think this one minor social transgression gives so much fuel to people against feminism. We have to be 100% correct all of the time. If we’re not, the whole thing goes to shit. It’s a hard job. I think this is why I have a hard time with anti-feminist. It’s the attitude. The unhealthy opposition to females and feminism. The rejection of all feminism because they have observed or experienced unequal treatment themselves. And sometimes, it feels like they’re just upset because they have to play nice. Sometimes these people end up being Men’s Rights Activists, which feels a lot more like being anti-female or anti-feminist than advocating for the rights of men. I have said it a million times... I am not against the rights of men in any way. Men do face discrimination and hardship via our societal expectations and perspectives of them. Likewise, I don’t support any brand of feminism which implies women are or should be superior to men. I think Mens’s Rights Activists are the yin to any feminism that borders on advocating against men yang. Neither I like.
I work with a lot of women. Lately I hardly interact with men in a professional capacity. When I do, it’s always an adventure. I forget how different it is to be a woman arranging, planning, managing with other woman and doing those same things with men. I’ve had a lot of wonderful male superiors who were really mellow and had balanced egos, but I’ve also had others that make me go, oh right, this is men absorbing more space than me, being pretty shitty without even realizing it. I acknowledge the parts of me that may misinterpret some of their tones, but there are also times when the entitlement, arrogance, and perceived superiority are undeniable. Even if it’s not conscious. Maybe it’s even more poignant that most of the time it’s not conscious. It just happens, comes out of them automatically. Most of the woman I talk to say the same thing. They have it even weirder because they work in offices in which they interact with male folks more frequently than I do. Anyway, no huge revelation here. Just making a female note of corporate culture grievances.
PS. I think it’s totally weird that I work nearly exclusively with women in my current job. I don’t favor this situation because I think the reverse (male majority) is and has been historically disastrous. I can see how over years and years of men surrounding themselves with themselves has happened rather naturally since I see it in my work. The combination of the opposite sex/gender not being interested in a field and social ridicule for breaking gender expectation to pursue said field has constructed strong divides. Then those chasms grow wider when one sex/gender dominates that field long term without correction. Then we don’t know how to interact/ include the opposite, especially when they don't feel like they belong or can nurture belonging.
New from the publishers of “Actually...”

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Watch: Hilarious Party Over Here sketch gets at the dark truth behind “mansplaining.”
In the spirit of the 15-year-old living inside me, I’m relearning an old-friend called Premiere Pro, because it’s time. Suffer in FCP no more, freelancers. I’ve been making everyone suffer because I was uncomfortable and not ready to switch. I needed the projects to be in FCP because there was a lot at stake. I needed to be as competent and fast as possible and know all the ins and outs of the platform if I needed to come in and sort everything out. I finished 1.5/4 of our projects on my own, so the safety net was useful then. Now I just have to jump. Stop being decrepit person making everyone else suffer because I’m too lazy or afraid to change. Trust the kids, trust myself. Spend the 12 hours learning the structure. Build a better system. Find a new natural.
I like the freelancers. I need them. I want them to be happy. I already lied to them twice about switching by the next project. Last news was 2017, first project. So mamma gonna get it together. And she’ll still be able to back you up.
We’re also having a mental, emotional, physical turf war with the UK office. Or rather, they’re in one with us. I just like everyone, think everyone is cool, and want to learn and be buds. All this shit one rolls their eyes about it business school, it’s real. The giant disarray giant companies are in, how dysfunctional it all seems in an HBR case, all the scoffing, whaaa but why would they do that. This is my life now. It’s weird how corporations seem so evil, but really, they’re full of really insecure dysfunctional individuals, no one knows what the hell they’re doing, present company included, and everything feel silly. Somewhere at the very top of things and how wealth gets distributed, things get dark. But from down here, it’s just a bunch of cats with computers. Gnawing at one thing or another. So anyway, we have this territory war and our structures are different. They have several people on staff in an office together. We’re only two full-time people and a series of remote freelancers who all want to work on Premiere. Since our leadership hasn’t made the UK/US teams be friends and I’m too meek to be the shining star on this one, I’m going to diverge from their practice and establish our own way that works for our structure. America! To be honest, I want to change, or rather, add to what our unit offers. There isn’t a big enough demand for our type of projects to share between the two units, especially if we’re not buds, and they have the global piece on lock. There’s this other type of project that we in the US keep rejecting because “that’s not what we do”, but it’s not not what we do. The only difference is the deliverable. The analysis, the core, is the same. I want to do that thing we keep rejecting, plus our standard projects. We have the resources to do both. What we do isn’t competitive enough for certain industries that are over saturated with research. It costs too much, it takes too long, its shelf life is massively long. It does certain things very, very well. But what it might not do very well is make our monies goal for the year. So I want to bend, be creative, stop forcing one system onto another. We still might not make our goal, but at least we’ll have done something productive. Anyway, how did we get all the way over here? Oh, I want the people I rely on to be content, so Premiere it is. A lot of biking this week, my insides feel nice.
I’m usually way too cool for school, but the dresslikeawoman hashtag is really doing it for me.
Meanwhile, my rage and ideology is becoming 15-year-old-teenage status brb.

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www.moca.org/screen-calendar/2017/2
HIV/AIDS perspectives+video+art+people+practice. six screens left in the series.
From MOCA website: “COMPULSIVE PRACTICE is a video compilation of compulsive, daily, and habitual practices by nine artists and activists who live with their cameras as one way to manage, reflect upon, and change how they are deeply affected by HIV/AIDS.
Featuring Juanita Mohammed, Ray Navarro (1964–1990), Nelson Sullivan (1948–1989), the Southern AIDS Living Quilt, James Wentzy, Carol Leigh aka Scarlot Harlot, Luna Luis Ortiz, Mark S. King, and Justin B. Terry-Smith.
Curated by Jean Carlomusto, Alexandra Juhasz, and Hugh Ryan for Visual AIDS.”
Cool place: http://public-access.info
This is what a real, qualified OBGYN will tell you about what women feel when they get an abortion
Dr. Willie Parker, who is trained as a gynecologist and OBGYN, is a hero for the pro-choice movement because he’s honest about the undiscussed aspects of getting (or not getting) an abortion. Watch how he gives a consultation.
That last statement about regret is so important, because so many people don’t understand what it is or what causes it. Anti-choicers exploit this by manipulating pregnant people and creating doubt, which only increases the likelihood of regret, no matter what decision the pregnant person makes. You know what is best for you, even if it takes some time to figure it out.
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I liked Moonlight a whole lot. Barry Jenkins reminds me hardcore of film school days.
So, what did we learn from this weekend?
We learned that a giant mass protest that shuts down large streets of major cities will be met with cops on their best behavior if the protests are made up of “regular” white people. We are shown that most news organizations reported favorably and used positive rhetoric (for the most part) and nice photos of families protesting together. It was viewed in a very kind light, which is the opposite of what most major (BLM for example) protests get.
If only there was a way to harness or organize the suburban white lady privilege into other protests. These women act as cop repellent because cops are far less likely to split Sharon from Accounts Payable’s head open or Sandy and her daughter Keighleeanne from Naperville or Susan the wife of a CEO. If more of these ladies showed up I think we could curb some of the violence that people of color face. Operation white shield or some shit like that. This is a way to use your privilege and power to back up what you say you believe in. I am just spitballing here, but man, I have never seen such lax police at such a large protest in my life.

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High hopes for NYE