Filthy Beautiful

A place for people on a health journey! Whether it be mental or physical. For weight loss or weight gain. For those recovering from an ED. We are a supportive community.

No matter race, creed, gender, sexuality, or even goals, we accept all!

Come join and introduce yourself!

https://discord.gg/dAHgWHx9

This will be a safe place for you to discuss your journey! 18+ only.

This is open to all races, sexualities, nationalities, it’s for everyone.

No pro Ana though. We are here to help, not hinder.

Link is below! I just started it so it’s a little bare.

https://discord.gg/Rsv7pBf8yV

Apparently there's a gritney now?

Holidays usually bring a vast array of food. The holidays are centered around food. I’ve tried very hard to control myself. I’ve tried to eat smaller portions and to keep the sweets to a minimum.

I gave myself a break on tracking as well, but I’m back to it. I got a cast iron skillet for Christmas so I am gonna try new recipes! Steak is what’s for dinner tonight.

I do want to start adding more fruits and veggies to my diet. Still gonna keep walking. Still following my journey.

I go back to work in 7 days and I am terrified. I wish I could just find another job that pays the same. I don’t want the fucking stress anymore. The stress kills me. I’m gonna have to work really hard not to stress eat all week. I have to start going to bed at a decent hour and getting up my normal work time, so I can get into a routine again.

I am going into 2021 with no expectations, no resolutions, a few goals, and an open mind. I’ll take whatever comes for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. 💜

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. 

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

Who doesn’t love a cutie with a booty? ✨🎄✨