finally sat down and replied to all my messages. i put a timer for fundies and i spent close to 40 minutes and technically i wasn’t over yet omfg i hate doing the humiliation ritual after self isolating myself for what it seems foreva now
hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@filmaniatica
finally sat down and replied to all my messages. i put a timer for fundies and i spent close to 40 minutes and technically i wasn’t over yet omfg i hate doing the humiliation ritual after self isolating myself for what it seems foreva now

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locked the fuck out. distractionmaxxing
Nothing works. You've tried it all.
Doomed to be abandoned no matter what you do aren'tcha?
Inside you there are two wolves…

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maintaining relationships with people is so difficult for no good reason. what are you supposed to do when you miss someone and want to talk to them more? Say you miss them and that you want to talk to them more? That's all bullshit
if you think the posts i make are bad you should see the thoughts i am thinking. in my mind
smoking, dying my hair and just listening to stuff to avoid my passive suicidal thoughts yay typical bloody sunday
What doesn't kill you leaves you bleeding for the rest of your life wishing it did
lo mucho que odio a veces la experiencia de habitar en un cuerpo, sobre todo un cuerpo femenino, cuando solo quiero ser un concepto. no quiero tener curvas ni que nadie me vea, quiero expresarme y socializar como un ente que está fuera del concepto binario.
pero a la vez la vida humana y demás no me permite. o quizás yo no me lo permito por miedo.

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me but also i’m the one joking so yeah
did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound
i really don’t have the time to be the way i am
me ha bajado la regla. a veces odio haber nacido en este cuerpo. en ocasiones creo que no me identifico al 100% con ser mujer y quiero explorar otros tipos de expresiones de género (tener bigote, usar un binder) pero no lo veo viable en esta vida
llevo una racha de hacerme daño y de ideacion pasiva de suicidio. el otro dÃa me caà y me hice un rasguño y ahora me estoy enfrentando a evitar hacerme más daño por si acabo en el hospital
todo esto mientras les digo al resto del mundo que estoy bien y jaja tan solo estoy en modo chill. no sé cómo salir de aquÃ
rasguño tras la lÃnea está

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they call me the endurer the way i endure and endure and endure and endure and well u get it
[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere
[yet to even pack the bowl] do you think it'll last