Musings

so during my usual morning coffee stroll i ended up walking near a young art student (?...he was holding a canvassy thing). he was playing a small radio...something r&b i didn't recognize. a new song came on...can't remember what but i knew it. and before it ended he switched it to stevie wonder's "isn't she lovely" and i walked back with a lovely soundtrack. i also like to think he changed it for me (but that's just my fancy!). on my way to cb&tl I did keep repeating to myself that something good would happen to me today. and I guess it did! nice way to sweeten my otherwise gloomy morning.

Last night I dreamt that I made my way through an obstacle-type course. And as I crossed the bridge I opened a pink trimmed card. I don't know what was written but the general gist was a proposal. From someone named Drew. Does that mean something? I'm not sure. But I've been thinking about my dream all day.

CAPRICORN. (Dec. 21 - Jan. 18): Friends want to set you up with someone. You're split between intrigued and a jaded "been there/done that" attitude. It can't hurt to check it out.

<p>Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 18) Relationships, or lack of them, weighed heavily on you this year. Some saw connections disappear. Others discovered soul mates - or thought they did. This week you’ll face a one-on-one decision regarding shared creativity.</p> <p>a relationship was one of my three main goals this year and I am truly at a loss as to how to remedy it. Find a house? Find a job? I can do that…at least I know what to do. But a relationship? No idea. It’s so maddening and frustrating and like all things I know part of it boils down to luck and chance and fate but I am starting to wonder if that’s something that is destined for me. Will I marry? Will I have children? I don’t know and it scares me…the thought of carrying myself through life without a partner, best friend and mate. If only he would just show up at my door with a huge neon sign letting me know he’s all of those things! This is one of my greatest failings and it does weigh heavily on my mind.

CAPRICORN. (Dec. 21 - Jan. 18): Venus sextile Neptune makes you the odds-on favorite. Work it. Whether it's courting, bidding, or competing you'll come out on top. That's good to hear.

on the day my boss exits... CAPRICORN. (Dec. 21 - Jan. 18): You've been a follower for so long that it takes time to get used to the role of director. It's all in the attitude. Puff up your chest I'm not sure how things will be but I have my fingers crossed that I'll survive. And that I'll have as many possible options open to me. I don't know what I want and really, I have nothing concrete on the table but as I face the coming end of the year I hope for a good offer to join j, a good offer to stay where I am and to meet someone romantical...!

This has been such a crazy month. My boss is leaving! Leaving!! I don't know what this means for me but for now I just need to put my head down and keep on going. It's going to be crazy and scary but I hope things settle down and shake out relatively smoothly. All things considered. I don't know if I ready for a second move. Or if it's an option. We'll just have to see It's almost November. No love life yet! Where is he? I've been waiting and I just don't know where to find him. Or who to find. Or how to look for him. I'm not waiting around for Prince Charming but I am hoping to run into him. Everyone else seems to be basking in loveyness and I'd like to too. Very much. One more month left this year for me to find someone I like and want to date. Why is this so very hard??

I hope to get an answer very soon. In other news, I'm not sure where I'll be working in a month. There's so much going on. I just hope to sit tight in the eye of the storm and hope I come out ok. My wish as we near the end of the year is to have job stability and satisfaction and romance. I long for a best friend to share love with. These are the two things I want most. And romance the one I want more. The wind to carry my secret wishes and send me my answers.