three hundred and sixty five days

red.

red was the colour you made my cheeks with every compliment you told me. cheeks constantly flushed at your kind words, ones i will never forget.

orange.

orange is the colour of the soonta bowls we had that night. arguing because we both weren’t fussed with what to get, as long as it came with Pepsi max. i remember watching you show me how to do the bowls because id never had soonta and laughing at your methods.

yellow.

yellow is the colour of the jumper i loved you wearing the most. you wore it more after i told you how much i liked it, and it’s the jumper i hugged you in when i left, your scent lingered for days.

green.

i can’t say i specifically associate green as a colour with anything, except for maybe the time you made me draw hulk dabbing, or the amount of pepe memes we’d send, god those times made me laugh.

blue.

blue was the colour the bedsheets i slept with you in, safe in your arms with your leg over me listening to you breathe softly and peacefully. my first experience of something like that and it could not have been more perfect.

purple.

the first of many.

i know there will be more, but you were the first.

the first i felt as though i could share my life with forever.

the first who i was so open with my feelings with. the cute comments and the endless flirting, the smile lingering on my face and the blush burning my cheeks for hours. you were all that orbited my thoughts and dreams.

the first i was vulnerable with, i showed you all of me, all my emotions and all my scars. it was you who saw them first.

the first who ever saw me fully. my first experiences were with you. bruised necks and scratched backs, swollen lips and soft spoken words, the chemistry was real. with you i felt like i could be open to anything.

the first person i ever slept with. we might be strangers now, but i’ll never forget how safe i felt in your arms, how i felt i could stay there for the rest of my life.

the first i experienced heartbreak with. while what we had might not have been long, it was real to me. the instant connection and bond, something i will have with others as time goes on, but again you were the first.

the first who drifted from me. conversations became less, words became nothing but faces, talking all day became barely talking at all.

the first who completely broke off from me. unopened messages, blocked accounts, no more conversation. we no longer speak and i doubt we ever will but ill never forget our moments, how can i?