Laughter and Tears

E.M.'s first easter #seafoodfeast #yumsah (at L.A. Boil Seafood)

Happy Easter! I am justified by God, therefore no one can condemn me. #HelivesFOREVER (at All Nations Full Gospel Churches International)

thank heaven for little girls. ready for ate Tina's birthday party #partyanimal #babiesofinstagram #EliaMayumi #lentilishere

good friday morning by Tatay and Yumikuns #EliaMayumi #lentilishere

the toothless smile by Elia Mayumi right before she got cranky and asked for food #lentilishere

weekends be like #siesta #EliaMayumi #lentilishere

late post #onemonth #lentilishere #EliaMayumi #mylove

i got the best weekend #theseguis #lifewiththeSeguis #lentilishere

nanay vs yumi. nanay wins! #safetyfirst #lentilishere

day 20. she still thinks I'm the best mattress and pacifier #lentilishere #shelovesme #EliaMayumi

You have been such a wonderful husband and father. You have stayed calm and relaxed no matter how many times I have cried my heart out to you. Yumi and I are more than blessed to have you. I can't thank the Lord enough that you are my husband. I love you always. Thank you for keeping strong the past few weeks. You're the best.

I skyped message my boss. I noticed that whenever someone's going to have a baby in the office, he would write "welcome to the jungle" and he would laugh telling me how it is like being a jungle having 3 girls. I didn't understand him at first and thought he was ridiculous. Until I had my own. 13 days in and I now understand why it is like a jungle. I was chatting with my mom earlier in the week and asked her how she managed to do it. She had my sister at 19 -- my dad was 17 back then. She didn't have money. They were both students. All she said was, she didn't have a choice. Having a child is a choice. I understand a lot of things now. My heart is full but it is willing to take some more. I understand now when they say "you'll do anything for your child" and my daughter isn't even a month old. How funny is that? I am still struggling but I am so happy where I am right now and wouldn't trade it for the world. I thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity to raise another human being. To be given a responsibility to show how wonderful this world could be. I am strong. My baby is beautiful. I am content. I am happy. #internationalwomensday #lifewiththeSeguis #lentilishere

13 day old footsies #lentilishere #breastlife #breastfeeding #lifewiththeSeguis

It has been over a week since I gave birth. Now every time someone asks me how it feels like being a first time mom, I usually tell people how hard and how rewarding it is at the same time. But mostly how hard it is. And dang, the media shows it like it's just easy as laying an egg and it's done. First realization, it's never what they show on TV or movies. NEVER. Not even close. Let me start with my struggles, my left nipple is inverted and wouldn't correct even how many hours of pumping. I thought my milk supply was low but it turns out it was my timing that's wrong. I beat myself several times for giving formula to my child. I get emotional whenever and I can't explain why. Our room is a mess. Our house is a mess. I can never eat on time. Even if there's enough food in the fridge and all I need to do is warm it up. There's a laundry pile up since before I gave birth. I am tired all the time. This is the first time in 11 days that I was able to get some "rest". And when I say rest, it's getting spread out cat naps while my baby naps. It's a luxury to get over 6 hours of "rest." After 11 days, I can say I found my pattern. The first few days is all about adjustment. There were sleepless nights. While the following days are finding or making a schedule for you and your baby. Once that's set, you just have to keep on doing it. Just keep on going. You won't see the results right away but just follow through it. If you have to make a list of pees and poos to keep track, do it. If you need to set up an alarm to wake your sleepy ass, do it. Use all the aid around you to adjust. Sleep for about 30-40 minutes while the baby naps. Then try as much to follow the schedule you made. Ask help if you're having problems. Ask for assistance if you need to. I am grateful that I have a wonderful husband and family surrounding me. If you can't for the life of you follow the pattern you set up, rest. Give yourself a break. Remember, you just gave birth. You need to heal physically and going gaga over little things won't help. Give yourself time. Cry it out if you have to. Talk to someone you're comfortable talking to. Feel every emotion. Just don't wallow into it. Remember, you and your baby are a team now. Your little one depends on you. Your tiny human will eventually give you a smile that can take all the sleepless nights away. I assure you one thing. You can get through this. You were able to get through 9 months of pregnancy, you can do this. This too shall pass.