But I Don't Need A Cigarette

I’d write more on here but my engagement is low to none. If I’m gonna be spilling my guts and being vulnerable online for no real return (and mostly potential risks down the road), I’d rather just keep it in my written journals. 

Jesus fc its feel silly to read up on all the stuff ive put on here and see the differences. Thinking about it growth still has the same essential base(s) just different branches and expansion. What was such a large issue or aspect is still there in some form but lead to something hopefully better. This looks like a tree in my head except I haven't visualized the forest or other trees yet.

Today was my last day in therapy with MW. Made a lot of progress internally. Still on a treadmill life wise. Lots more to go. Comparatively, 6/27/19 me is much better cognitively than 6/27/15 me. Cracks are there and obvious to the people who know me intimately and are in daily comms with me. I’m still uber vulnerable and my negativity is expressing itself in new forms but it beats being stuck emotionally or in constant self criticism and low self esteem. 

Would it possible to find respite from the systematic struggles we all* feel?

If the words “thought experiment” come out of your mouth and/or is written by your hands (or mouth/feet in some cases) in a serious manner then I can’t fuck with you. The word in the thoughts are a fiction and shouldnt be used for more than isolating variables to improve comprehension and communication. When you begin to apply conclusions (which shouldn’t even be considered in light of the abstract isolation) from that fictional world to our collective reality, you end up justifying lord knows how much absurdity and untruth.