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I blinked, confusion hitting me like a ton of bricks. 

“So….?” I asked, leaning against the fridge. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with everrrrrything!” Andi exclaimed. “You have been sitting with me all week at lunch and not once have you mentioned that you guys were hanging out! People are already talking about it….I thought I was your best friend?”

“Andi,” I sighed, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before I exploded on her. “You are my best friend. It was honestly nothing. He saw me sitting in my car and it was snowing, he just popped in to say hey.”

“Eddie Munson?” she questioned, not believing a word out of my mouth. “That Freak? That guy doesn’t associate with anyone outside of his little club!”

“Please don’t call him that. You know I don’t like that…”

I trailed off, noticing Harrison coming down the stairs lugging his guitar case behind him. 

“Sorry. I forgot about all that stuff with Harrison being bullied. It’s just…he’s so weird.”

“He’s actually really sweet,” I said, suddenly feeling defensive. “He’s teaching Harrison to play guitar at McGill’s. He’s really good with him, Andi. He’s not some crazy Satan Worshiper like everybody says-.”

“Could have fooled me!”

“What’s this really about?” I asked, her scathing tone cutting into me. “Did you just call to talk shit about Eddie, or are you upset that something is going on between us and I didn’t tell you? Believe me, nothing is going on between us. Kirk and Sandy are gossips, you know that! And you know the hell I went through with Harrison and his school bullies…that I would NEVER participate in gossip. So really, what’s the point of this call?”

Harrison paused at the sound of my voice, eyes wide at the amount of pent-up rage there. He was the reason I was so sensitive to bullying. He’d been through hell and back in middle school already, and I couldn’t stand to see anyone else go through it. The thing that cut worse was that Andi knew all of this, and she was still contributing to the problem just because she was pissed off at me.  

To top it all off, I hadn’t seen Eddie around much since that Monday. Occasionally we’d lock eyes and nod or smile at one another in the cafeteria, but we hadn’t spoken or been near each other since. Rumours swirling because he had been seen leaving my car once was nothing short of insane. 

“Don’t get mad at me!” she huffed, her anger evenly matching mine. “You’ve been closed off and distant for weeks, Tessa. You don’t talk to me, you act like I’m annoying…how am I supposed to feel when I have to hear from somebody else that there may be something going on with you and Eddie Munson!?”

I wanted to scream at her, to tell her that she needed to grow up and that she couldn’t understand half of what I was going through. I loved her though, and just didn’t have the heart. Instead, I sighed internally, and braced myself to try and be the bigger person.

“Andi, there’s nothing going on! I’m sorry I’ve been distracted, I’m just going through a lot right now. The thing with Eddie and me is nothing. Honest. He saw me sitting by myself and wanted to make sure I was okay. Look, I have to take Harrison to his guitar lessons this morning, but call me tonight. We can talk this out, it’s seriously just a misunderstanding, okay? Just call me tonight.”

I slammed the receiver down without waiting for her reply, a frustrated sigh leaving my lips. Grabbing my bag, I slung it over my shoulder and looked at Harrison with a terse smile. All I wanted to do was slink into bed, but it was too late for that. Harrison needed me. 

“Alright buddy. Let’s get going.”

–--

Watching Eddie with Harrison helped to alleviate some of the tension I was feeling from my conversation with Andi earlier. Although I was still annoyed, watching the two of them smile and interact was enough to take the crushing weight off my chest so that I could breathe again.  

Harrison was far from a natural with the guitar, but he certainly enjoyed the 1:1 attention he received from Eddie. I couldn’t blame him. Eddie had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in a room full of crowded people. It suddenly hit me how insane and out of place the shunning he received truly was. There was no denying that he was eccentric, boisterous and loud, but he was also kind with a gentle heart. 

Pondering my thoughts, I tilted my head back and shut my eyes, my foot tapping to the run Eddie was playing. I felt sore, exhausted and alone, even with Eddie and Harrison sitting a few feet from me. I truly felt like I was drowning, like I wanted the floor to swallow me up whole. The urge to self-harm slithered up into my throat again and I grasped my thighs tightly, willing the thoughts to leave me be. I didn’t want to take ten steps back in my recovery after I worked so hard just to get here. 

“You didn’t come last night.”

My cheeks flared red even though his voice was teasing. Eddie’s grin was mischievous as ever, deep brown eyes sparkling as they met mine. 

“What?” I stuttered out, my heart racing at his interruption of my negative thoughts, for some reason concerned he knew what I’d been thinking.

“Last night…you didn’t come,” he repeated, plopping himself down beside me, arm bumping into mine. “Lemme guess, you had some sweet rager to go to instead?”

It suddenly dawned on me what the hell he was talking about. The invite to smoke…I’d totally forgotten about as I had navigated most of the week on autopilot. Yesterday was Friday, and I’d completely forgotten. 

“Shit! I’m really sorry. I totally blanked,” I fumbled over my words, face hot despite his gentle accusation. 

He laughed, nudging me again with his shoulder. “It’s cool, Dixon. I’m an easy man to forget.”

“It’s not that,” I said, my eyes focusing on Harrison, who was slowly packing up his things. “It’s just…Harrison requires a lot of extra attention. Our parents aren’t really around. I got busy-.”

I realized I was motor mouthing and quickly zipped my lips before I spilled all my deep dark secrets out to Eddie, who was still very much a stranger. He didn’t need to know all the dirty details about the emotional burden I was carrying. 

“It’s cool, Dixon. Although next week, I may not be so inclined to let it slide,” he said with a wink and yet another nudge against my arm.

“Ahh,” I said, snapping out of my weird state and shooting him a grin, “So you’re doing me a huge favour right now, is that what it is?”

“Oh absolutely!” he replied as he puffed out his chest, chestnut locks flying as he fake preened. “There are many, many women who’d love to come and smoke at my place.”

I broke out into laughter at the look on his face, and he let out a few chuckles at the sound. 

“I dunno, Munson,” I spoke after my laughter had subsided. “Maybe your friends wouldn’t like me barging in on your sessions.”

“You already know most of them,” Eddie said, relaxing into his chair. “Lucy Yi is in my year, Gareth is in a couple of your classes and lives down the street, there’s Jeff, Nathan…I could go on. They all say nothing but good things about you. They’d be down for you to join us.”

My heart warmed at his words, knowing that there were at least some people out there that thought kindly of me. 

“Well,” I said thoughtfully, picking at the hole in the knee of my jeans. “Maybe I’ll try to come next week. Should give me enough time to arrange something for Harrison.”

“Wicked,” Eddie said, flashing me a sweet grin. “What’re you up to tonight?”

“Tonight?” 

My eyes shot back up to his, noticing his cheeks flushing a little, that damn grin never wavering. He was cute, I realized, which was what was tripping me up. The handsome face, bright eyes, stunning smile, it was completely sending me for a loop and making me lose all sense of how to communicate. He also seemed to weirdly sense when I needed someone to help navigate my dark moments, as he always appeared when I needed it the most.

At the realization, I mentally urged myself to get a grip, fingers digging into my thighs. 

“Probably just rent a movie at Family Video and stay in with Harrison,” I finally spoke, giving him a little shrug. 

“Y-y-you can c-c-come over if you want,” Harrison’s soft, apprehensive voice pulled me away from Eddie’s chocolate brown orbs, his words causing my heart to start to flutter erratically in my chest. “We’re renting Frankenweenie.”

Eddie Munson at my house? Andi would lose her shit. 

“As long as your big sister here doesn’t mind. I get the feeling she calls the shots,” Eddie said with a wink, the small gap between us closing. “Don’t you, T?”

Oh. 

It was so subtle and my heart was pounding in my ears loud enough to distract me that I almost missed the nickname. Almost. The shift from calling me by my last name to a nickname nobody ever called me had my heart thundering out of my chest. It felt like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

“Uh..yeah. You can come over,” I squeaked, mouth dry. “I live on Pinecrest Avenue. Actually like ten houses down from Gareth’s…same side of the street. My parents will be out so you don’t have to worry about them, we usually start at 6:30….”

“And Tessa always buys pizza for dinner!” Harrison piped up, his enthusiasm helping to calm down my racing emotions. 

“A woman after my own heart,” Eddie hummed, another heartstopping smile gracing his lips. “I’ll be there.”

God, please don’t let Andi hear about this….

–--

Without a doubt, I was a nervous wreck for the rest of the afternoon. Munson was giving me the worst case of butterflies every time he talked to me. I didn’t know if it was his features or his upbeat, teasing personality, but whatever it was, it had me scrambling. Andi had luckily called me before dinner wanting to hash things out, and after a few kind words, apologies on both ends and a promise that if I was going out with any boy EVER that I’d let her know as soon as humanly possible, we made up. 

 The pizza had just arrived and Harrison was pulling out all the stops with his favourite candies, blankets and pillows to impress our guest, when the doorbell rang. 

Nerves shot through me as I answered the door, seeing a smiling Eddie on the other side. God, would it have killed him to stop smiling that alluring smile every time?

“I brought booze,” he sang, raising the six pack up in the air and giving it a little shake. “I know, I know. I’m the best. You’ll probably have to make me a recurring guest.”

I snorted, standing back a bit to make room for him in our small entryway. 

“I’m sure Harrison will be thrilled.”

“Harrison’s my guy,” Eddie laughed, toeing off his shoes. “He’ll help me polish off the pack.”

“You’re something else, Munson. Pizza’s here already. You’re lucky we didn’t start without you.”

“Eddie!” Harrison’s excited voice ran through the house, a small grin splaying across his lips.

“Hey man,” Eddie greeted, handing me the beer so that he could shrug off his vest and jacket and hang them up on the coat rack, but not before pulling more candy out of his pocket.  “Ready to load up?”

Harrison nodded, talking animatedly and gesturing for Eddie to follow him into the living room. Like he’d been here a thousand times, Eddie followed my brother without any apprehension, the two of them chattering away like old friends. 

I shook my head, contemplating this budding friendship as they disappeared into the next room. Nobody had been able to connect with Harrison like this, but Eddie? Eddie had been able to in the span of two lessons. It was enough to leave me scratching my head, despite knowing Harrison better than anyone. 

“Dixon, you coming or what?!”

Grinning at Eddie’s booming voice and Harrison’s quiet laughter, I shook myself free of the cobwebs and joined the pair in the living room. Eddie had already taken up residency on the couch, a plate of pizza balancing on his thighs. Harrison had just started the movie and was sitting beside Eddie in my dad’s La-Z-Boy. He was smiling ear to ear as he dug into his pizza, listening intently to Eddie talk about his NJ Warlock that he had splurged on last summer. 

As it always did, the sight of them made my heart swell. I took up residency on the couch with Eddie, careful not to sit too closely, and reached for a slice of pizza and a can of beer. 

“Hey, hey!” Eddie chided, watching me with amused eyes. “You old enough to drink that, Dixon?”

“I’m old enough to do a lot of things, Munson. The beer is the least of your worries,” I responded dryly, not missing the way his eyes sparkled at how quickly I jabbed back at him. 

The short film was one of Harrison’s favourites and a repeat rental here at the Dixon house. Frankly, it made me cry, which was partially why I reached for the beer. The thought of Eddie seeing me bawling my eyes out at a silly little film was embarrassing.  After slamming back a slice and downing most of the can, I settled into the couch and got comfy. The soft glow of the tv was the only source of light in the house, and I curled my legs up under me as Harrison and Eddie finished their slices and dove headfirst into the candy. The happy, jovial mood was one that was not often found in our household, and I found myself smiling to the point that my cheeks hurt. 

It felt really nice to have this much happiness within these four walls. It felt familiar, warm….right, even. I felt at peace for the first time in a really long time. 

I thought for sure that my nerves at Eddie being a couch cushion away from me would have me a twitching, anxious mess all night, but that oddly wasn’t the case. Fifteen minutes into the movie, I found myself starting to doze, a combination of the ambiance, my busy day, and the booze. I could feel my head starting to nod, lashes lingering on my cheeks too long between blinks, my body becoming heavy with the promise of sleep. I slid my body down sideways on the couch, curling into a ball, the pads of my feet connecting with the side of Eddie’s thigh. 

“M’sorry,” I whispered sleepily, but made no attempt to move them, and neither did he. 

His only acknowledgement of the contact was the gentle squeeze of his hand around my ankle for the briefest of moments. 

My body felt weightless, my mind stuttering to a crashing halt, and it wasn’t long before my vision faded to black.

“T?” Eddie’s soft voice jolted me awake and I sucked back the gasp that threatened to spill out, my body jerking as I propped myself up on my arm.

“Yeah?” I rumbled sleepily, blinking a little to focus my vision. 

“I’m gonna get going. We watched Frankenweenie and E.T., and you slept through them both,” Eddie mumbled, looking a bit sheepish at startling me awake. 

“No, no…” I panicked, wiping at my eyes and wondering how I could have been so rude and stupid to actually fall asleep while he was here. “What time is it?

“9:30,” Eddie answered, taking a look at his watch. “It’s okay. Harrison was telling me about all the stuff you do for him. No wonder you’re so tired. ”

In the soft glow of the tv light, I could have sworn something flickered across his eyes, but as soon as it had come, it was gone. Over Eddie’s shoulder I saw Harrision passed out in the La-Z-Boy, candy bar wrappers scattered around him. 

“Shit Eddie, I’m sorry. I’m honestly so embarrassed,” I sighed, pulling myself up. 

“It’s okay. You didn’t snore…much.”

Groaning, I tossed my head into my hands, kicking him a little at his teasing. 

“Want me to carry you up to your room, Sleeping Beauty?”

My heart shot up into my throat at his teasing, thankful that the light from the tv was dark enough that he couldn’t see the flush starting up my neck and to my cheeks.

“You wish, Munson.”

He gave a deep laugh, relaxing further into the couch before we both lapsed into silence. My eyes ran over his profile: long, curly hair, thin, long nose, wide expressive eyes…Eddie Munson was nothing short of a work of art. 

He turned slowly to me once more, eyes unreadable. “I always thought you were a cool chick, Dixon.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Don’t remember you much from middle school but high school…” he trailed off, shuffling in his seat. “My buddy Jeff? Used to have a crush on you. Would never shut the hell up about you, actually.. In grade 10 I threatened to banish him from Hellfire if he didn’t shut up. Everybody talks about how nice you are. How accepting you are and willing to help anyone.”

Now, my cheeks were really on fire. 

“It’s not often that girls from school look past the devil on our shirts….I haven’t quite nailed down yet why you don’t treat us like everybody else.”

“You should know why,” I sighed, jerking my chin toward Harrison, who was still peacefully asleep in the chair. 

“The kid?” Eddie asked, eyes widening a little. 

“You’ve seen him. He’s…different. Sensitive. A total sweetheart but people see weird and they make it their life’s mission to treat him like shit. When he isn’t getting picked on at school, he’s being picked on here by my dad. Mom’s no help. I’ve been…protecting him since he was born. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be just like everybody else. But he changed me, made me see past all that clique stuff.”

“And you really do all that shit for him?”

“Yeah I do.”

“He’s lucky to have you,” Eddie blurted out, making both of us look away from each other, embarrassed. 

“Thanks,” I finally murmured after a few moments of silence. “Well, at least let me walk you out.”

Both Eddie and I stood and headed to the foyer, but not before he gently ruffled Harrison’s hair on the way by. My heart blossomed at the contact, sunlight finally seeping into my endless days of darkness. Biting my lip, I watched as Eddie shrugged on his jacket and slipped into his shoes before digging around in his pocket for a cigarette. 

“We should do this again sometime,” I said softly.

He grinned around his cigarette, the impish smile immediately drawing one from my own lips. 

“I could be…enticed into that,” he agreed, nodding his head. “On one condition.”

“Name it, Munson.”

“You come to Hellfire on Friday after school and then to my place for a joint. Just one. No exceptions.”

“I told you that I would!”

“No, you told me that you’d try. If you wanna hang out, then let’s do it. I don’t wait around for anybody. We got a deal, T?” he rumbled, a ringed hand jutting out in front of him. 

I raised my eyebrows at him and was met with a much wider smirk. This boy knew how to play his cards right. 

With a loud, half-joking sigh, I slammed my hand into his.