e.r.

I mean, I would be me and that would ruin things before they even started. I’d definitely send him in your direction, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?

I repeat, what are you talking about? You're fine, I haven't experienced you ruining anything! A bad friend, which you are not. I think by the time I have the opportunity to meet Tom I'll have a small army working for me.

That’s true. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an cocky Olympian. I don’t think anyone would like them.

I don't think they've got any right to be cocky, if I'm honest. Unless it's Usain Bolt. 

I ain’t hating. He’s the type of guy I’d go gay for.

Preach it, mate.

Isn’t he gay? 

Shhhhhhh.

Who knows? He might be, but I’d be me and ruin it and then everyone will be sad, that I couldn’t make our relationship work. But I’m not into guys, so there wouldn’t be a relationship in the first place.

What are you talking about? "You'd be you," and I don't think he'd be able to resist. At which point you'd definitely pass him onto me... Right?

He does seem like a good guy. I’ll agree with you there.

Olympians are always modest. 

He’s a great swimmer, I’ll give you that. 

I'm sure he's incredible all-round... Someone who's that hot has to be a doll.

Didn’t he come out as gay a few months back?

Like I give a shit, that guy is perfect. Without a flaw. There isn’t anything wrong with him.

I’m sorry, El… I just can’t lie to you. I didn’t want to keep it from you, I mean… I tell you everything.

I think that - maybe - you should start telling me a little less.

Uh..I’m not really into guys, but I trust your judgement in how beautiful a guy is, so I’ll agree.

Unfortunately for the both of us, Tom is into guys, but who knows? He might find you attractive.

Don’t tell me you disagree.

Oh, but you’re feeling better now?

Very much so, yes.