idk

“Okay,” Emmy agreed when he said that it wasn’t too much. She followed him inside, telling her that she was being stupid for being nervous. She knew these people and had been close with them at one point. She offered his sister a smile. “Thank you,” she said. Emmy followed him upstairs and leaned against the doorway as he grabbed the leggings and she watched him as he went into his room. “Thank you,” she told him. She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for everything, Carlos,” she told him softly. “I…don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t run into you,” she said. Emmy went into the bathroom and changed into the leggings and his button down and she carefully folded the dress and came out when she was done. “How do I look?” She asked with a small twirl. 

“You would have been a sad excuse for a drunk woman on the side of the road, and my mother would have killed me anyways for leaving you there.” He countered as he then looked at her in his dress shirt his heart stopped. “Ay dios mios, beautiful.” He countered to her as he let out the breath he had been  holding. Carlos just looked her over slowly. If anything the feelings he surpressed resurfaced as he looked at her. “So you ready to get your grub on? Or do you just want me to stare at you all night?” Though Carlos was doing more than staring at her. James was long gone forgotten from his mind for a moment until the ring on her finger slammed back the reminder.

“I remember,” she said with a laugh, looking over at him. “Hi Felix, I’m Emmy,” she introduced. “It’s nice to meet you.” She knew that her mother would kill her if she knew where she was, but what her mom didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. She nodded her head when he lead them out back. She glanced over at Carlos when he asked if she wanted anything. “I think i’m okay for now, thank you,” she said. She nodded her head. It was so different from the Christmas that she was used to, it was so casual and there didn’t seem to be any bullshit going on. “Oh, uh,” she glanced down at her dress. “I mean if it’s too much to ask this is fine,” Emmy said, not wanting to put anyone out. “It is kind of uncomfortable though.” 

“It’s not to much lets see what we got.” He got up and went inside to the women as he kissed his sisters cheek. “Do you have something more comfortable Emmy can borrow?” He asked his sister who said there were leggings in her bag she had a spare of. “Perfect.” Carlos led Emmy upstairs, he grabbed the leggings from his sisters closet and then went into his room as he grabbed her one of his button downs that’d be a dress on her. “Here, get comfortable so maybe you can relax. I know you live in a stiff world, but you of all people should know that a christmas with my family is going to be anything but that okay? My family still has the door open to you.”

Emmy knew that he was right, and that she couldn’t just sit out in the cold all night until she went home. “Fuck my mother,” Emmy grumbled. She was so tired of never doing anything right, never living up to Tabby. Instead of doing what she was supposed to do, she could be with Carlos, the man that she actually loved. She was so pissed at James ,and she was so over his five year plan that she was supposed to follow. With James she was always just going to be James’s wife and never her own person, she was starting to realize that and see that she didn’t want that. “Can’t have Christmas without corona,” she said with a laugh. Emmy felt nervous though, the moment that he pulled up to his house. She had no idea what to expect, even though she had known this family once upon a time, had been close to some of them. She guessed that she was nervous about them not wanting anything to do with her either. When they walked in, she offered his mom a small smile. “Thank you. It’s good to see you again,” she told her. She watched Carlos with his nephew and she couldn’t help but smile. “And what is your name?” She asked him. 

“Hey don’t knock it now, it’s tradition.” He told her as he then turned to Emmy and laughed. “I’m Felix!” The boy said through a merry tone. Carlos set him down and grabbed a corona and a lime for himself. “Come on lets go out back and out of grandma’s hair so she can finish cooking with your mother.” Carlos led the boy and Emmy out back. “Do you want anything? We’re kind of picking until moms done inside.” He grabbed a chip and scooped some salsa as he sat in a chair. “You going to go be comfortable in that fancy dress? I’m sure my sisters have something inside or you can steal a shirt of mine if you want to get comfortable.” Carlos offered her.

Emmy shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. It’ll be fine,” she told him. She didn’t know what else to do, she didn’t want to go back home but she didn’t know if she could stay out here. When he told her to get in the damn car, she sighed. It did sound nice, but she was still hesitating, she felt like she had to. When he showed her his phone, she bit her lip. “Okay. I’ll come so I don’t disappoint her,” she told him. Finally sliding into the passenger seat of his car, she looked over at him. “You look good like this,” She told him. “More…like yourself.” It was weird to see him in his fancy suits at work, it wasn’t what she expected of him at all. “So…um, having a nice Christmas?” She asked. 

“Thank you, come on you’ll have fun and I’ll even drop you off at home.” He told her as he chuckled softly. “I hate those damn suits. But I look like everything your mother doesn’t approve of.” A man with tattoos, a latino. Anything he could think of about himself was never good enough for Emmy in her mother’s eyes. “Yeah, we ran out of corona and needed more potatoes so.” Carlos told her as he pulled up to the house that was very bright. He grabbed the potatoes. “Go on you can be the savior whose bringing the corona they’ll love you for it.” Carlos told her as he walked in and kissed his mother on the cheek. His mother had a knowing smirk. "Entonces, ¿cuándo te vas a casar con esta chica?” His mother asked making Carlos roll his eyes and his sister snicker. "Ma, ahora no" He shook his head she just tisked at him and went by. “Welcome back dear, make yourself at home, food will be ready soon.” Carlos scooped up one of his nephews as they ran by. “Where do you think you’re going little man?” He said laughing as he tickled the boy.

Emmy bit down on her lip when he told her to get in. “No, no, I couldn’t impose,” she told him. “I’ll be fine, promise. I was just going to go in and get some tequila or something and then…” she trailed off. She didn’t entirely know what she was going to do when she was done in the store. A part of her wondered if her family even knew or cared that she had left. Her mother was probably furious with her for leaving and ‘embarrassing’ her. It just felt like she could never do anything right and that feeling was even stronger now that Tabby was in town. “I’ll be fine, promise.”

When she started to protest he rolled his eyes. “What sit on the side walk in that dress drinking, and not get mugged? Get in the damn car Emmy its Christmas. At least come enjoy some tequilla with my siblings and I and some of the hog we have roasting.” Carlos pulled out his phone and showed her the messages. “My mother’s already excited, come on you don’t want to disappoint her do you by turning it down?” It was a low blow but it was better then her sitting on the side of the road with tequilla. “Come on, a little music, some dancing, I seriously won’t take no.” She loved the last Christmas she had spent with him all those years ago.

Emmy didn’t know how long she had been walking for, she had left her coat and phone back at her parent’s place. She had just needed to get away from them all. James had been insufferable all day, nothing she did was good enough for him, and then Tabby and the congressman had been sitting there on their pedestals holding court acting like they were superior. The congressman had even gone so far as to suggest that she needed to thank him for getting her the job at Vanderbilt, that she hadn’t even wanted. It was just positively infuriating. She had made it to the grocery store, she was thinking about grabbing a bottle of tequila and just getting wasted. It was better than going back home. She was dressed up for their fancy dinner that her mother had been forcing her to help out with while Tabby lounged around all day since she was four months pregnant and couldn’t do anything. It made Emmy sick. She was startled when she suddenly saw Carlos, it was almost like she was coming out of a trance. “I uh, just….needed to get away is all,” she said softly. “Guess I just…ended up here.”

Carlos frowned at her answer. “So if you got no where to go for Christmas get in. I’m sure mom won’t mind another, and you can meet the newer family memebers and have a good holiday.” He told her as he picked up his phone to tell his sister to relay that he was bringing someone back with him. “Come on.” He told her as he opened his car door and slid in, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Carlos had been put on a grocery run, he had been set out to get more beers and potatoes to finish off their christmas meal. The hog had been roasting, and everything else was set. He though wanted to be able to enjoy some beers. So he picked those up at the store when he was walking out he paused seeing a face he didn’t expect to see. “What happened to fifth avenue huh? Down here slumming it with us?” Carlos called out to her as he began to laod the car, he was far more relaxed than the last two times she saw him. He was in jeans and a t-shirt not a suit for one. His tattoos on his arms were on display now. He was the type of man her mother would never approve of. It didn’t matter the silver stars he had or purple hearts. Carlos was just latino scum to her mother. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

She nodded her head. “I can only imagine what that’s like,” she said with a sigh. “I deal with it at work too. Between all of the terrible parents and admin at work and my family…well…” she trailed off with a sigh and glanced down at the flower in her hand. She looked up at him when he reminded her that she had wanted to be an artist. “I know. That…seems like forever ago,” she admitted. “I’m an art teacher now, which I guess is kind of the same thing,” she told him with a frown. It really wasn’t, but her mother had been very clear that an artist was not a suitable career choice for her.

“Yet you’re still taking it.” Carlos didn’t understand why she did, she could just find a better life for herself where she’d be happy. “It was forever ago.” It was ancient history. “So you can teach kids the passion of art that you once held. Look. I want to keep talking but I have to get back to work your fiance is late, tell him when you see him that I do not take kindly to people being tardy. I’m sorry I have to get on a call now.”

“Your mom was always amazing,” she said, biting her lip and looking at him. “Yeah. That’s usually how my family is,” she sighed. “Especially when the congressman comes, mom has to outdo everyone and everything.” Emmy knew that her mom loved to show off that Tabby was married to a congressman. “I will try,” she said, looking up at him. She felt her cheeks turn pink when he offered her the rose. “Thanks,” she said. “I guess that’s just what my life is going to be like, huh?”

“I know all the burocratic bullshit, I dealt with it in the army, and still deal with it in the law firm today.” Carlos hated it, he much perferred being out on the battle field as a soldier but an injury left him discharged. “Welcome, and your life could be whatever you wanted it to be. I remember a woman that wanted to be an artist.” Hell he had been a dancer but that life hadn’t gotten him anywhere. Carlos went through a lot of changes to get to a Lawyer, even if his mother said he wouldn’t last at this job.

“Sounds like a mom,” she said with a small laugh. A part of her wondered if there was someone in his life, someone that he was considering marrying. “You’re welcome,” she said. Emmy sighed and nodded her head. “I know. But Tabby is coming into town with her two kids and the congressman and well…you know how my mother has always been,” she said softly. “So there’s just…a lot going on.” It didn’t help that James’s mom was putting pressure on her too. 

“Sounds like my mom.” He told her as he then nodded his head. “Sounds like business more than a holiday.” Carlos told her as he shook his head. He glanced at his watch frowning James should have been back before now but it at least gave him a few moments from Emmy. “Well don’t forget to smile and smell the roses.” He said as he plucked a flower from the arrangement on the desk in front of him and offered it to her. “Girl like you was going too many places to be so stressed.”

“How is your mom doing?” She asked. She hoped that she was doing well. When he spoke, she nodded her head. “Wow, that’s crazy. Congratulations,” she told him. Emmy smiled when he showed her the picture of him holding the baby. “He’s adorable. And his uncle looks pretty cute holding him,” she teased. Emmy looked up at him and nodded. “That’s good. I’m sure you’ll be glad to have a break. I’m already stressed about Christmas,” she sighed. 

“She’s good. Stubborn as hell, trying to marry off all her children. You know the usual.” He said chuckling softly and nodded. “Thanks.” He had five siblings so it wasn’t wild to think of them having kids. His mother loved having grandchildren to look after. “He is a cute kid, but thanks.” He told her as he shook his head. “Too much stress won’t do you any good.” He always had told her that though.

Emmy bit her lip when he spoke. It was strange how she hadn’t seen his family in so long but she missed them. They were always so loving and kind to her and it hurt that she had hurt Carlos and them. “That sounds amazing. Tell them I said hello?” She asked him. She didn’t know if he actually would, but she had always loved his mom especially. She had been so unlike the mothers that Emmy knew, so unlike her own. “How many nieces and nephews do you have now?” 

“Yeah I will.” Carlos knew she had enjoyed Christmas with his family the one year he brought her over. “Three nieces and two nephews. My sister just had little Juan.” He pulled out his phone and he showed her a photo of him holding his baby newphew. “It should be a good break.” He had missed a few christmas’s when he was deployed so he made sure when he took this job that he could have Christmas off to go home with his family.

Why did him saying that he would leave her alone fill her with dread? She knew that she had to continue to be happy with James, she had made the decision and she would have to stick with it. “Yeah…something like that,” she said softly, glancing up to meet his gaze. “Thank you,” she said. Biting down on her lip, she didn’t want him to walk away from her, didn’t want this to end. “Any plans for Christmas?” She asked him. 

Carlos paused when she asked for his christmas plans. “Yeah, going home. Siblings are going clubbing the night before Christmas, and then we’re all meeting up at my moms. She’s doing the big cook out in the back yard, dancing, presents for everyone and the such.” Carlos was playing Santa this year for the young ones, for his neices and nephews and he was sure he’d endure his mother’s questions about when he’d bring home a woman and settle down.

He could see that? If he could see that than who else could see it? She had been pushed to this life even though she didn’t want it, didn’t like it. She didn’t even know if she truly loved James. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m happy,” she lied. “I have a great job and a fiancé and things are good.” She wished that she could have put her foot down, could have picked out a life that she loved instead of one that was expected of her. 

“Then I’ll leave it be if you’re happy.” Carlos told her. What was he as a man to do if she was happy? “Then it seems you got everything that yo uwanted.” Carlos nodded his exhuberance from before seemed to die down a bit as he took a few steps away from her before he reached over with his key card to unlock James’s door. “You can wait for him in there.” Carlos told her at least then he wouldn’t have to look at her.

“He’s just…” she trailed off, unsure of how to explain him or what to say about him. Carlos clearly saw straight through him, and also her, which made her decidedly uncomfortable. “I’m sure you know plenty of guys like him,” she finally settled on. It was strange, this new Carlos. He was so different from the man that she knew years ago. She didn’t know how to act around him, she felt off kilter, like everything was wrong. “Sure,” she told him, nodding her head. She was about to go into his office to wait for him when Carlos spoke again. “You have to stop saying that,” she told him, glancing around. What if James was already back and heard him?

Carlos just nodded. “For a woman whose walking the asile, you seem... conflicted I don’t remember that in you.” Deep down beyond the bravado he was still the sweet boy who’d share half of his sandwich with her even if it was his only meal for the day. He just simply didn’t like her fiancee, he didn’t like anyone who was made of money and felt the need to try and charm his way through instead of putting in the hard work.

Emmy was taken aback when she saw Carlos standing behind her. She knew that James would be pissed at her if he saw her speaking to Carlos but what else was she supposed to do? He was talking to her. “Oh, hey,” she greeted, biting down on her lip. When he told her where James was, she frowned. “He didn’t tell me about that,” she said. “He got in trouble for that?” No wonder he had been in such a crappy mood the last few weeks. “I’m sorry for how he behaved. It’s not….that’s not how he usually is,” she lied. Who was she kidding, he was always like that, he thought that he owned her and that she would do whatever he wanted. It was what her sister and mother did too. 

Carlos shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sure that is exactly how he is, it doesn’t bother me. I served with plenty of guys like him.” Although those guys got chewed up and spit out after basic for not being able to handle it. Carlos now though oozed confidence, if he was able to handle guys like James. Guys that once would have chewed him up because he came from nothing and he didn’t spend lavishly like he was sure the other male did. “Mind telling him I’ll take my sushi in my office? The big boys got to eat.” He told her as he walked past her. “Still think you deserve better.” He shrugged at her having no problem telling her.

Getting into Jame’s car, Emmy knew that she was going to hear it the entire way home. The moment that the door was closed, James started to rage at Carlos and at her for knowing him. It was somehow her fault that he had made an ass out of himself and she just looked out the window, not listening to all the awful things that James was spewing. The way that she felt when she saw Carlos again scared her. She knew that she had to push it all down, that she was engaged to James and that was that. She had made her choice and now she was going to have to live with it. 

2 weeks later

Emmy was officially on winter break so she had decided to come and see James at work. Was a part of her hoping to run into Carlos? Maybe. She knew that it was wrong, that nothing could happen, that she was engaged, but she couldn’t help but feel drawn to him. She knew he would never be able to forgive her for the choice she had made but she found herself wishing that she had his engagement ring on her finger, not James’s. Standing in front of James’s empty office, she frowned. Where was he? 

Carlos was coming out of a meeting with some board members, when she shook the other men’s hands he went to turn and walk back to his office when he saw Emmy frowning. “You know you’re too pretty to be frowning like that. James is out getting everyone lunch if you’re wondering where he is. The senior partners didn’t appreciate his little stunt at the christmas party so he is regaled to well being the office runner for a bit.” Carlos of course enjoyed watching James squirm. The guy was a prick and not the type of guy he wanted to deal with, if he ever threw the man a case again he’d make sure to have someone keep a very close eye on him not trusting him how he’d proceed.