∞ ♥

adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom

I’m 400 years old and still on tumblr

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

caught by surprise by this narrative, call that a pot twist

Not to be nsfw but imagine someone actually wanting to talk to u all the time and not get bored of you wow

Her thighs are soft bc you gotta bite em while you’re goin down on her

Kiss the bicep that chokes you

the angry kitten nose twitch is my favourite

all the hot girls in my phone should be telling me nasty things btw

Happy wolfenoot