Fern

I wonder if they know the truth about us

Im sorry I never got you flowers when you wanted them

You see the storm was heavy when we touched

The cold winter still had my heart frozen to things I wasn’t ready to warm up too

You accepted me going across the country.

You accepted me going through hell and back at my rock bottom

You must be going crazy.

You must be wondering where the hell did all this come from

I left more questions than answers in your soul

I left a hole unburied with no explanation

I did love you, more than anything I could imagine

More was expected than what I could handle

I grew unhappy

I grew frustrated with time

Every trip, every conversation was war

I didn’t want to waive the white flag

I wanted to be happy again. I’m sorry that I can’t do that with you anymore.

I pray you find peace.

Everyday

Yet i will never say it outloud

When I put my clothes on and kiss the statues

Before I go on the freeway and let cruise control take me to work

I talk to god in this room

I ask him for clarity

I always make the worse decisions

I feel stuck