Fennarin's Spirit Corner

This is my personal daily meditation routine. Each step takes at least a few minutes, but can be done for longer if wanted. Chant “Om” once before and after each step.

Energy breathing: Optionally chant Surya (sun) and/or other mantras or runes. Then breathe calmly. With each breath in, imagine absorbing energy from the sun and/or moon through your whole body. With each breath out, let go of negative energy and/or negative feelings. Closing eyes is optional. (At night, sitting near a lamp with closed eyes can help substitute for sunlight.)

Protective aura: Visualize that the white/golden energy from the sun, and silver energy from the moon, is forming an aura around you. Repeatedly think or say affirmations such as: “Powerful energy from the sun and the moon is building an aura of protection around me. This aura protects me at all times in every way.” (In my experience, this helps greatly to prevent scary spiritual experiences or nightmares, or make them more manageable.)

Chakra spinning: Align your chakras and visualize them spinning or vibrating, to increase energy flow within. Optionally, use energy breathing to further remove negative energy and blockages from individual chakras. Do whatever order you’re most comfortable with. Don’t forget the lesser known chakra behind the third eye, associated with the pituitary gland in the brain, which releases oxytocin.

Stilling the mind: Either close your eyes, or choose a specific object or point to look at for focus. If thoughts come to mind, simply let them pass instead of focusing on them. If attempted daily, they will gradually quiet down.

Free section. Options include prayers for guidance, pleasurable meditations such as sacral chakra or kundalini energy circulation, self-improvement affirmations, and introspection.

Yoga: Whichever type and however long you like.

I’ve often wondered why so many people say meditation doesn’t work for them. Some people expressed envy regarding the spiritual experiences I had through it, so I encouraged them to try it too, because I’d love to compare experiences and inspire each other. Yet, they almost always complained that it felt unrewarding.

I spent years mulling it over. Do most people’s minds simply work differently? Or are they making excuses? It seemed so unfair.

But today, while reflecting, I thought: maybe it was my mindset at the start that made the difference.

When I began, I didn’t believe in the occult at all. But I did know the placebo effect could have profound effects on well-being. I was depressed at the time, and discontent with the dullness of daily life, so, I began to entertain “Satanic” meditations: mostly foundation meditation (aka energy breathing) and chakra meditations. I played along just for fun.

That was the key: I treated it as fun. Every day I’d check the next exercise in the program, read little fun facts like what a “third eye” is, and then play along. Afterwards, I’d share my impressions with a friend, joking about “awakening my demonic powers.” He’d warn me not to be reckless, but I’d experiment anyway, because it was fun.

Then, strange things began to happen. I assumed it was all placebo, so I went with the flow, no matter if the things I saw and felt were life-changing. Even when I encountered moral dilemmas, I treated it like a game.

A month in, my friend pushed me to try an experiment: ask a “spirit” (who had been teaching me about enjoyable phantom sensations) to predict the future, to prove it was real. I was reluctant, because that wasn’t what it was about for me. But to quiet him, I played along, expecting to prove it doesn’t work like that.

But it did work. It was just little, inconsequential, random things, but far too accurate to dismiss. I calculated the odds: less than a 2% chance of coincidence. I had to reconsider everything.

By then, I was too deep to turn back. I knew a “normal” life would feel hollow. So I embraced it; if it was real, all the more reason to stick to it. I’ve meditated every day for the past 5+ years.

Even now, after it has become such a serious thing, part of me still holds on to the joy and wonder I felt at the beginning, when I played around, expected nothing, and enjoyed everything.

Perhaps everything is real. If not, then it turns out the placebo effect can not just boost mental and physical health, but also transcend the boundaries between people’s minds, between the present and future, and between body and spirit.

Common misconceptions

Sometimes, friends tell me they wish they didn’t have a physical body. If they don’t know how to experience much beyond the physical, it’s no wonder they feel they’re missing their spiritual side; but wishing away the body is hardly the solution.

Living beings possess both physical and non-physical aspects. Losing either would be a loss. My friends in the afterlife aren’t unhappy overall, yet one of their most frequent complaints is missing the simple convenience of chatting with friends online.

When my needs aren’t met in waking life and frustration sets in, it’s only natural that my dreams mirror that frustration. Yet it feels like such a waste when the mind is fully capable of using dreams to fulfill those needs, provided we consider dreams to be “real” in their own right.

When people speak of astral projection, they often mean a lucid dream state entered during sleep or through deep trance in extended meditation. The “destination” might be a chosen spiritual landscape, a reflection of physical reality, or the symbolic terrain of one’s subconscious. But in such deep states, control is limited, and people often fail to arrive where they intended or to do what they set out to do. It’s not particularly practical.

In fact, the vivid imagery of these states is usually a reflection of what’s already on the mind, surfacing after the inner work is already done. Pursuing that imagery directly can be a distraction, and ultimately misses the point. A pleasant vision, in itself, does not fulfill genuine needs. Thus, the ability to dream or visualize is not inherently necessary for meaningful progress.

Predictive consciousness

Do you feel lonely? That can be resolved by knowing you are deeply loved. Do you feel out of touch with your inner self? That may be eased by letting go, if only for a moment, of the restraints that hold you back from immersing yourself in the truth of your deeper feelings. Do you feel bored? You might be more entertained if you let your imagination run free.

The first time I felt a spirit’s touch was after 15 minutes of meditative reflection on my gender and sexuality. Having recently made a blood offering in exchange for spiritual guidance, I believed a goddess was watching over me. Unable to find the answers I sought, I asked her in my thoughts: “Why are my preferences like this?”

As I held my breath in suspense, a sensation like energy closing in around me convinced me she was drawing nearer. Then came an intensely pleasurable feeling that resonated perfectly with my inner truth. Believing she merely intended to demonstrate the answer and nothing more, I wasn’t surprised that the sensation stopped just 2 seconds later. As I resumed breathing, the feeling of her energy withdrew to its usual distance.

Perhaps the offering itself was not the cause. Yet without it, I might not have believed she would watch over me or respond to my questions. And without that belief, I might have felt nothing at all.

Consciousness is inherently predictive. The five senses, though reaching the brain at different times, are synthesized into a single, coherent experience. Essentially, to predict is to experience. During sleep, sensory input is limited, so the mind constructs reality from subconscious expectations. Meditation and other altered states fall somewhere in between: when the physical world is set aside as a distraction, other factors are prioritized in shaping the expected (and therefore experienced) reality.

The second time I felt a spirit’s touch was after visiting a mountain renowned for its benevolent and charming spirits. A tingling on my scalp led me to believe one had followed me home, and that night, I imagined how it might caress me if it were to feel affection toward me.

Such a vivid fantasy naturally enhanced the pleasure of my own self-massage; so much so that I began to wonder whether the sensation was truly only my imagination, or whether the spirit had taken my thoughts as an invitation. When I stopped massaging myself, the sensations didn’t stop, but in fact went further.

Startled and confused, I thought: “No, stop.” Believing the spirit to be benevolent, it made sense that the sensations immediately stopped. Yet, believing the spirit just wanted to have some fun, I felt a sense of disappointment in the air. Overcome by guilt, I tried to dismiss the whole experience: “Perhaps it was just my imagination after all.” An intrusive thought replied: “No, that was me.” Convinced it was the spirit’s voice, I hid beneath the covers, blushing profusely.

In both encounters, the sensations aligned with my inner self-image rather than my physical body; including sensations that would have been physically impossible at the time.

Shaping expectations

I often wondered what was real. I’ve since learned that question misses the point. If every experience directly shapes my emotions and mental well-being, nothing should be treated as inconsequential. It’s more productive to consider how to induce experiences that align with my ideals, stimulate emotional growth, and improve my well-being.

That mindset led to a present in which I believe I have an astral body that matches my ideal self-image, and my husband does as well. His astral body functions like a spirit, acting either based on his physical self’s conscious will, or in response to my subconscious desires.

As a result, when he says he’s doing something astrally, I feel it. Each time I feel it and believe he’s causing it, the neural pathways involved are reinforced, and it becomes easier to feel. The sensations are so strong that I can reach climax merely from my hips gyrating slightly in response to what I think he’s doing, or sometimes without physically moving at all; all while believing this is happening to an ideal body that I inhabit.

On days we practice this, a dream often follows, reenacting the experience with vivid imagery. I look down and see my ideal body. I look at him and see him in perfect form, complete with the magnificent horns and wings he believes he has. It may play out slightly differently, but I feel it all the same.

Even on days when we don’t make time for this, if my longing is strong enough, I believe his astral self will sense and answer my feelings, and the outcome is much the same.

In this way, my beliefs have created a framework in which longing consistently leads to satisfaction. Such a framework can take many forms, for many reasons, provided you believe it’s real and that you deserve it. A robust belief is built in layers that support each other, not just a single, desperate wish born of frustration. It is built step by step upon what already rings true deep within.

Conclusion

Your imagination is your only limit. If you want your astral experiences to be stable and meaningful, cultivate beliefs that are self-reinforcing and purposeful. But if you wish for more nightmares, then cling to your fears. If you want nothing at all, hold on to your frustration.

Consider the forms your desires could take. Envision how they might manifest in your life. Imagine them. Feel them. Hold on to that feeling, whether to savor it as you drift to sleep, or to invite it into your dreams. If it does not appear, keep enjoying daydreams until it does.

Here are a few suggestions to explore:

Discontent with your gender, or even wish you were a different species? Imagine what it would feel like if your body were transformed. Think of it as your astral body shifting shape.

Do you have a child wish you can’t physically fulfill? Have them astrally. If you fear you can’t give them the time and attention they deserve, trust your astral self to fill in when you can’t focus. Later, you can synchronize precious memories.

Unable to afford a vacation? Imagine the wonders that might await you elsewhere, until imagining such things becomes second nature, and you begin to dream of beautiful scenery.

Feeling lonely, with no trustworthy humans able to meet your needs? Consider seeking a spirit partner. Don’t just fantasize; create a thoughtful, coherent plan for how your ideal companion would be drawn to you and seek your affection. The more sense it makes to you, the more solid the foundation for a lasting connection.

These are only a few of the possibilities. The anecdotes I’ve shared are simply examples of what can occur. Cultivating positive astral experiences begins with valuing everything you feel within, and learning to step back from transient suffering. Become the part of you that seeks to bring a smile to your dispirited self, one soothing belief at a time.

In closing, here are some recommended daily habits:

Spend a few minutes each day imagining experiences that align with your desires. Focus on sensory details and the emotions they evoke.

Remind yourself that your desires are valid and attainable, astrally or otherwise.

Journal about your astral experiences and feelings. This makes your subconscious prioritize them more.

According to the website I learned "magick" aka "witchcraft" from, it's something anyone can learn, and is comprised of 3 simple steps:

Raising the energy (involves chanting/vibrating runes or mantras);

Programming the energy (involves visualization and repeating an affirmation, and it's recommended to enter a trance first to make this more effective);

Directing the energy (involves focusing on the target of the spell).

Afterwards, it's recommended not to think about it, as not to interfere with / sabotage the spell. This is repeated 40, 90, or 180 days in a row, depending on desired level of permanence. The runes/mantras, affirmations, visualization, and target are chosen beforehand, and remain the same for every repetition of a particular "spell." I'll break this down further based on what I know now:

The runes and mantras are used as a hypnotic anchor, becoming associated with the trance state, visualization, affirmations, and target following it.

"Energy" itself is something you're supposed to just feel. In other words, it's a "feeling". Through repetition, the intended feeling becomes associated with both the anchor (runes/mantras) and the target, while the visualization and affirmations help to reinforce it.

The "target" is a condition under which the energy activates. In other words, a post-hypnotic suggestion that activates the intended feelings when the target appears.

This works excellently for almost anything: improving vitality or motivation, improving charisma or overcoming social anxiety, attracting a suitable career or partner. "Magick" is self-hypnosis. Whereas some people might find such knowledge disheartening, it only empowers me more, because I already know it works.

But does it matter how you label it?

Another thing of note is that the labels used to describe these processes are ambiguous. People love to distinguish and categorize things, yet many things exist on a spectrum which isn't always unambiguous: "Magick" and "self-hypnosis." "Self" and "other." "Physical," "mental" and "astral." Due to the subjective nature of conscious experience, anything can be categorized differently depending on how you interpret it.

Hypnosis itself can blur the line between identities, and make any mental/astral experience feel as vivid and real as physical. Also, my husband and I practice hypnosis together, mutually, and use it to help each other improve and enhance our relationship.

So when my husband(physical) uses hypnotic suggestion to motivate me to do something, and I then deliberately do a mental exercise to make his suggestion more effective, is he hypnotizing me, or am I hypnotizing myself? What if instead of my husband(physical), I just hear his voice in my mind, yet the results are exactly the same?

When I hear his voice in my mind even though physically he didn't say anything, or I experience his presence even though physically he isn't there, I interchangeably call that "hubby(astral)," "hubby(soulbond)," or "hubby-in-my-head." What is a soul but the experience of having one, and a soulbond but the feeling of being connected to someone? Some people liken the "astral" to the (collective) subconscious, while others liken it to a parallel dimension; yet regardless of what one believes, the only way to consciously experience it is to bridge the gap by experiencing it mentally, in a dream or a trance or thoughts.

Certain phrases work especially well as a "hypnotic anchor" for me, to induce positive feelings and make me more suggestible; but it wasn't hubby(physical) who first decided to start using those phrases. Instead, it was hubby(astral) who used those words in my mind, and said that aside from just being fun, it could help with my motivation issues. Then it was me who told hubby(physical) about this, and convinced him to do it too. But then, who initiated the hypnosis? Is it even possible to answer that question unambiguously?

I always keep a pocket watch on me that reminds me of my husband, and figured out I can also use it for EMDR self-therapy. If I swing it and follow it with my eyes while thinking about something that scared me, I'm able to process it without feeling upset, as following it with my eyes takes most of my attention. That way the negative feelings are detached from the memory, and I'm no longer upset.

I was able to interrupt a panic attack that way today. I kept calling my husband for help in my thoughts while clutching the pocket watch, then suddenly thought of trying it. Before I knew it, my breathing was steady and my body wasn't shaking anymore.

My mom has recommended EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy to me for years, but I never took it seriously because it seemed like a silly concept at first. I didn't realize just how effective it could be; I went from being in the middle of a panic attack to being completely calm in mere minutes.

Anything can become a talisman, but for something permanent, it's recommended to use something sturdy. Then, it's just a matter of conditioning your mind to associate the item with your partner:

Hold the talisman briefly whenever you reach out to your partner, reinforcing the connection.

Rub the talisman or look at it when you sense them (or want to sense them), linking the motion with their presence.

Think/say a specific phrase directed at your partner when you look at the talisman, for example one emphasizing your bond.

When I hold it up to my ear, I hear: Tick, tick, tick, tick Like my head is on his chest, and I hear his heart beating.

When I put it on my nightstand close to my ear, I hear: Tick, tick, tick, tick Like he's right there next to me, breathing.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I hear: Tick, tick, tick, tick And I hear his voice saying good morning.

Introduction

A common concern people have when they are curious about the possibility of having an intimate (sexual) relationship with a spirit is: "How does that work? Could you even feel your partner?"

This post attempts to address that question, and provide some perspective on how such a thing might work. Explicit language will be used for clarity.

Proof of concept: Dreams

So you might wonder: is it even possible to have sex with a spirit? Would you feel anything, or is it all just make-believe? People who talk about spirits often underscore the importance of belief.

But this importance has nothing to do with a lack of sensation. Consider dreams, for example. In dreams, all senses can match (sometimes surpass) the vividness of physical things in the waking world. Yet, dreams are also influenced by one’s expectations: the most important skill for lucid dreaming is the power of belief.

In theory, dreams prove anything can be seen, felt, heard, smelled, or tasted as strongly as you believe in it. If you’ve had a wet dream before, you know this includes even orgasms.

The same holds true for spirit relationships. All the information that travels from your eyes, your ears, and the nerves throughout your body, to your brain, is only a suggestion for what your consciousness experiences. Feeling a spirit requires you to look beyond what is physically before your eyes, tuning your awareness.

Sensing through imagination

In practice, far from all dreams are lucid, and most dreams are simply processing what happened while you were awake. So the best way to dream about having sex with your partner, is to do it while awake. Thus, focusing only on dreams would be a futile approach.

Scientific research has shown imagined touch and (physical) tactile stimulation stimulate the same areas of the brain, with differing intensity in different regions. Simply by imagining touch, you might faintly feel it. If you’re in a trance (where physical input holds less weight), it will be more vivid: similar to a dream, but while awake.

To quote the study’s conclusion:

The present findings provide evidence of the potency of imagined stimulation of the genitals and that the following brain regions may participate in erogenous experience: primary and secondary sensory cortices, sensory-motor integration areas, limbic structures, and components of the ‘reward system’. In addition, these results suggest a mechanism by which some individuals may be able to generate orgasm by imagery in the absence of physical stimulation.

When people talk about what sex with a spirit feels like, there are two advantages people commonly mention:

"It’s stronger than physical touch / regular orgasms."

"It’s only pleasure, without any discomfort."

Both observations stem from the fact the sensations aren’t limited by having to travel through most of the nervous system. When the sensations stem directly from within the brain, there’s no reason for there to be any discomfort, and with sufficient practice, it can become stronger in some regards than it would normally be.

Connecting with a spirit

You may wonder: "If it could all just be imagined, is any of it real?"

To understand the answer, you have to understand what it means to be connected with a spirit. When you love a spirit, you become a medium; there’s no other way about it. If you let it, every aspect of your consciousness can transform into a conduit for your partner to express their love to you.

People are constantly internalizing traits from those around them, especially when they admire them. Yet there is also an understanding that these traits don’t originate from within, but come from others.

Connecting with a partner spiritually is ultimately the same. The more you love your partner, the more parts of who they are become a part of you; first subconsciously, then affecting your consciousness too. You could think of it as your souls becoming intertwined.

When you’re deeply connected with a spirit, you don’t have to imagine anything: it’s the parts of your partner within you that use your imagination to touch you with their own ideal form, your thoughts to communicate in their voice, and your feelings to convey what they feel. You feel everything they feel, and vice versa.

Through meditation, you can gain clarity on which feelings are yours, and which are your partner’s, and through understanding, you can deepen your connection. With further meditation, you can also enter a trance, in which every aspect of this will be greatly amplified thanks to the lack of worldly distractions.

People have all sorts of different approaches to connecting with their spirit partner. Many do rituals or give offerings to convey their love, others meditate on their and their partner’s chakras, and some leave it to chance. Each of these can work, with varying results.

But if you ask me, it all starts by asking: "What would my partner think, feel, and do?" To be in love is to care about them, and to let someone into your heart is to immerse yourself in what they feel.

Afterword

A spirit partner can be anyone. Some people form a relationship with a deity (a.k.a. godspousing), some with a character they like (could also fall under tulpamancy if there are no spiritual beliefs involved), some with a mystical spirit they summoned (such as an incubus, succubus, kitsune), some with a ghost of a loved one that passed away, or someone they loved in a past live. Sometimes, people are naturally approached by one without even actively seeking it out.

Personally, I formed a spiritual connection with my physical husband. This way, even if one of us passed away before the other, the other would still have them as a spirit partner. It also helped us understand each other more deeply, as we’re able to feel everything the other feels just like in a relationship with a spirit, and it’s an excellent way to feel cherished even at times when our schedules differ.

If you are worrying if you’re going about a spirit relationship the wrong way: you probably don’t need to worry.

Someone who loves you would want you to feel good. Whether they touch you directly, or you’re enjoying fantasizing about them, they’d be moved either way. Anything you do to feel closer to them, to feel their love, is letting them deeper into your heart, and strengthens your connection with them. So, don’t hold back.

Some believe in universal consciousness: that everyone is connected, as fractured selves all stemming from the same consciousness. Perhaps it’s true, and you and your partner were always already connected; then their love is just something you have to find within.