Non-Binary and Femme
This is a lovely essay by our ownĀ Josie M. about their feelings on being a nonbinary femme:
A friend asked me, in good faith, how someone can be both non-binary and femme. Or what those two things in combination mean. Itās complicated, right? Here are some things that can be separated out: your physiological sex characteristics, the gender you identify as, and the way you express gender. Also your sexual orientation, thatās separate too. Some folks who are really into taxonomies would follow that up by saying something like ānon-binary is someoneāsĀ gender identity, while femme is someoneāsĀ gender expression.ā But taxonomies are stupid, and not everyone makes all those separations when they talk about their bodies and identities. One person might say āIām genderqueerā and feel like that speaks to their physiological situation, their gender identity, and how they express gender. And another person might need to say three separate things to cover three separate bases.Ā You donāt need to wrap your head around the million ways that people break this stuff down, thank goodness, because that would be a nightmare I donāt want to say anything definitive and universal about what ānon-binaryā and āfemmeā mean. I just want to say what they mean to me. Iām non-binary, in that I donāt think of my body as a male or female body, and I donāt aspire towards being a man or being a woman, and I donāt want to transition into being something more easily recognized by square straight folk. I want to become this other type of creature. My non-binary engages both of the binary spaces in order to triangulate that future, though: I was raised male and my physique is strongly shaped by testosteroneā¦ I now buy clothing from womenās lines and I work regularly to feminize myselfā¦ For me, femme is about the intentional practice of using The Feminine (both feminine products like makeup, and feminine ways of being) to create and express a badass self. To hide doubt from my enemies with flawless foundation and shadow. To charge my arcane reserves via amulet and necklace. To stain my lips for love, battle, or both. To expose all of my compassion and tenderness and say, āI am strong not in spite of my delicate nature, but because of it. I am a sanctuary garden, motherfucker.ā And hereās how those things work in compliment, for me: Iām not a man or a woman. Iām a glitchy ghost creator witch person. And I engage The Feminine, I draw on its power, to both hone and to present my strength to the world.
