Just muddling through. Doing the best I can.

We believe that our DID system is polyfragmented, which is a label we understand as referring to systems with a large number of parts and fragments (typically 100+), who also have complex splitting patterns, more frequency in splitting, complex internal organizations often including layers, levels, and subsystems, many parts with hyper-specific roles, and often (but not always) a complex inner world. Some parts shy away from this term or feel like it doesn't apply to us, but many of us feel like it's a helpful lens for understanding why our experiences can sometimes be different from people with OSDD/DID who aren't polyfragmented.

A lot of parts post on this blog and we usually don't sign our names to posts. We often front in clusters instead of individually, and we also switch frequently because our system functions by utilizing many different parts with different roles who all help us get through the day. As such, we’re often blended and blurry and don’t always know who exactly is around. We're also actively working on integration and this is bringing us closer together, but also making it harder to identify and distinguish between each other.

I am a cult survivor. I spent most of my childhood connected to a few different extremist fundamentalist and Christo-fascist “Christian” cults, and the rest of my adolescence and early adulthood in a very toxic and controlling church that wasn’t much better than the cult. I experienced many different types of abuse and trauma as a result of these communities and the influence of the cult on my family system. We write about our journey to process and heal from these experiences. We are also exploring the possibility that some of these groups and/or our extended family had OA ties and that we experienced RAMCOA in conjunction with that. We write about that almost exclusively on our personal sideblog (if you're a mutual or an established follower who we've interacted with, you can DM us and ask us for that blog's URL).

We collectively identify as a queer and non-binary trans person and have the most wonderful wife in the entire world. We live together with our three cats, one of whom thinks she’s the queen of our household (she’s not wrong), another who is a beautiful visually impaired chaotic disaster who doesn’t know how to be a cat, and a third who has cerebellar hypoplasia and is just wobbling her way through life.