“There’s not a lot to enjoy out here for most people.” He says with a shrug.

Maybe if you were into learning about nature, or like Dys preferred hanging out as far from the city as possible to camp out instead.

He assumes she’s the former, if she’s willing to hang around.

“But it is quiet out here, if that stops you from doing something drastic…” Which is none of his business, mind you.

He moves from crouching to full on sitting, not seeming to care that he’s plunked himself down in a patch of wet dirt.

“The amount of people here…” He gripes, lazily resting his cheek on his hand, “…I didn’t think big cities seriously had populations like this but guess the history books had that part right. A cup of blep tea makes it sorta bearable I guess.”

"Well we can both enjoy it out here. It's not as if someone is going to start kicking us out for using the forest of all things to relax ourselves."

Unless some animals had something else to say on the matter. Which could've been a very real possibility depending on just what was out here. But even then the servant could have handled it without too much pressure...

He exhales as he ditches the leaf and leaves the snail alone now, instead just watching it mill around as it eats in peace.

"...Mélusine." He sounds the name out first, tilting his head toward her to stare at her from behind his bangs. "Uh. Yeah. Dys." He supplies after.

"Exactly how often do you hang around in forests? I mean. For the average city dweller, it's not exactly abundant with things to do unless you like foraging, hunting, or learning about plants and wildife I think."

“Well—” How does he fight against a true statement? “Look, I don’t see you trying at all, so you can’t hold this over my head.”

...On the other hand that's probably not good for someone's voice, he thinks.

“Well—” How does he fight against a true statement? “Look, I don’t see you trying at all, so you can’t hold this over my head.”

Unless you were as tenacious as her...

"I share the same sentiment. There's a lot I like about there and people I want to catch up with. But at the same time it almost reaches absurd levels of "too loud". Makes me want to burn it all down..."

Although her calm tone may have betrayed the very real threat of the dragon potentially reaching a boiling point like that.

“There’s not a lot to enjoy out here for most people.” He says with a shrug.

Maybe if you were into learning about nature, or like Dys preferred hanging out as far from the city as possible to camp out instead.

He assumes she’s the former, if she’s willing to hang around.

“But it is quiet out here, if that stops you from doing something drastic…” Which is none of his business, mind you.

He moves from crouching to full on sitting, not seeming to care that he’s plunked himself down in a patch of wet dirt.

“The amount of people here…” He gripes, lazily resting his cheek on his hand, “…I didn’t think big cities seriously had populations like this but guess the history books had that part right. A cup of blep tea makes it sorta bearable I guess.”

But that wouldn't have stopped Mélusine from trying. Or anyone else who seemed to enjoy this type of thing. When one lived in such a loud place after awhile one would want some kind of peace and quiet. Unless they lived there in the first place, in which case places like these were more suited for them...

"Is that why you came out here? Or were you trying to get away from the hustle and bustle of everything else too."

"If you know what they're like and have some patience with the shyer ones, they might come to you if you're lucky. Or if you can figure out what food entices them, even if they won't take it directly from you." He supplies in what he thinks is helpful. "...But a lot of 'em are skittish of people."

He's used to observing and learning about wildlife, having spent more time among animals then people over the years the moment he was free to do so.

As for the answer to her question... which he wasn't trying to put off answering... he nods absently as he watches a small snail moving across the ground in front of him. "Both. I like it here better, with the animals, and the city's too loud. Too crowded."

Waiting.

A realization he remembered having as Dys' life slowly slipped through his fingers. Watching, waiting, as each breath slowly left his chest for the last time. Watanuki had spent the last decade of his life sitting, waiting, watching-- praying for the one person he could no longer have to come back to him. It was his fate to do so, something he'd accepted long ago; to remain stagnant, standing still in time, never aging, never changing.

But he had, here. So much had changed for him every time he was brought to this world-- yet this time felt as if it had more weight than the rest. A realization that if he changed, if he aged, if he no longer waited.. if he filled his days with other people, with living like a human, she would not be disappointed in him. She would not think he'd forgotten her.

He was always allowed this-- to take up space in other's lives, to be among the living with them. He didn't have to wait anymore-- not for this.

".. it isn't, no." It didn't surprise Watanuki how quickly the other man caught on, his expression near placid as the flames before them danced within the reflection of his glasses; obscuring the look in his eyes. The shopkeeper had no intention of pretending that the oncoming conversation would have no weight to it, however; no longer hesitating as he spoke. "My apologies. For some time now, whenever we managed to cross paths.. I worried what my presence might do to you. How uncomfortable I might make you, considering the last time we saw one another. After what happened to you, I did not want to put you through any other painful interaction-- yet I believe I've been doing that, unintentionally. I'd like for that to end today."

It was then that Watanuki fully turned to face Dys after he'd stood, baring to him an expression without a mask; no smiles, no coy remarks, no hidden intentions. It was simply Watanuki who sat before him now.

"I do not regret granting your wish. It is what you wanted from me at the time, even if in the end, you had to endure something horrific. I regret that time-- after you'd died in my arms, remaining stagnant as a spirit. Something that this world should have had no capability in doing to anyone. To watch you, to be unable to do anything but keep you company-- regardless of how little we knew one another at the time, it still brought me great pain."

He hadn't been able to step foot in that room in the shop since. He was grateful that Hanabi and Shadow chose to occupy other spaces-- to walk through the doors there, to stand where this life was lost.. no matter how much time passed, Watanuki was certain he would feel the weight of that day for a very long time.

"But I do not want to dwell on what happened forever. I want to accept it wholeheartedly. I accept my part in it, and even if I wish I could admit otherwise.. I accept that I could do nothing to help you. I do not want to let the air between us remain this way-- uncertain, trepidatious. I've gone out of my way to make sure I am never a burden to you again, yet it feels wrong to continue to avoid you. To live on, acting as if what happened never did."

It was then that Watanuki paused briefly, to unscrew the cap of the thermos in his hands. He poured a singular cup, steam rising into the air as the warm liquid rippled quietly; a faint scent of ginger wafting between the two. Before he began to speak again, he found himself back on his feet; now fully facing Dys, as he handed the cup towards him.

Waiting.

"I want to know you, Dys. Even if you feel more comfortable keeping me at arm's length, even if you do not want the same.. I want to take the chance to reach out to you. I want to hear how you feel-- whether you can accept this from me, or whether you want nothing to do with me. I will respect your choice, no matter what you say. But I.."

After that everything really did feel like a messy blur of strong emotions, from a spiteful, angry, unsettled spirit that he felt disconnected from. A remnant of himself but certainly not one that was fully there after panic took him over.

Dys breathes in, then breathes out deeply. Even though he doesn’t know what it means to feel fear, he still always feels like a coward when facing problems that involve other humans. Now is not an exception.

What is he even supposed to say?

It’s clear from just listening though, that despite all the grief and pain Dys has managed to cause Watanuki already, that the other doesn’t actually want this distance between them. Even if Dys himself continues to act distant. It isn’t a clingy sort of bond that he gets from this: not like the people at the colony pushing past all his boundaries and trying to force past all his barriers no matter what he does or how many times he runs away.

Watanuki is… it’s different somehow. He doesn’t understand how, or understand his thought process.

Something’s definitely different about him right now though.

And Dys has a million questions going through his mind. But…

“I guess I was hoping to avoid this conversation altogether.” He sighs out, even as he moves just enough to take the cup. He holds it for now, letting it warm his hands even though he isn’t chilled.

“You’ve got more patience than anyone else ever bothered to have with me. You know I’ve been staying away on purpose, right?”

If not, well. He does now.

…

But it does feel like they’re too deep into this conversation now to just leave it alone.

“I just.” He grips the cup tightly, looking like he’s actually struggling for words this time. There’s a lot he could probably say with strong emotions bubbling under the surface of his control.

“I don’t even remember much, beyond a few things. Pain. Breathing my last breath in front of you. And then it gets… blurry. I remember the feeling. No pain after that, but panic and anger. It felt more like I was watching it happen from the outside than actually experiencing whatever the fuck any of that was.

And now it’s like some weird dread settles in whenever I see you, but not as much as I feel when I see that building or go back to that ward. I don’t know how to explain it beyond that.”

…

“And I didn’t do anything for you but cause you grief every time we meet like this so I just can’t understand why you’d even want to be near me. I really doubt you even got anything good out of granting my apparent wish.”

Stars. This is not the easiest despite his usual resolve to push people away. Maybe he’s gotten too soft in a way, in no small way influenced by people already cracking his cold exterior over the last ten years. In some way it’d be nice for the loneliness to end after he got ripped away from his friends and family just as he was making progress.

He’s not going to voice those thoughts though, instead continuing with:

“…And knowing I did actually die, I shouldn’t even be here. That should have been it. There’s no second chance, or that’s what I always believed until a certain point anyway.

But I guess,” He gestures between himself and Watanuki, “That’s technically what this is. That us standing here talking is proof of another possibility.”

Before that, his only real knowledge about that possibility were vague conversations about what might have been time loops and contact with aliens that could create new bodies as needed. He definitely can’t say any of that.

“Also don’t turn me into some pity case to make yourself feel better about what happened in my first life.”

Everything he’s saying feels all over the place but ending his own spiel like that feels like the best option, to ensure this isn’t just a pity party and that he’s not being led on by false niceties.