I Speak

When I was a child, I dreamed about a bright and fabulous future. I didn't know what I know now.

I wanted to see the world, see some whales.

I wanted to be a happy and supportive side character to some exciting hero.

I wanted to help others live more easily, I wanted to help heal hurt animals. I wanted to have kids.

The future was coming, and I faced it, smiling, wholehearted.

I didn't know what I know now.

A decade of misery.

I don't want anything anymore.

I wish I wanted something.

But now I know about the future.

Oh the violence that occurs seems like we never win

Love and mercy that's what you need tonight

So, love and mercy to you and your friends tonight

I was lyin' in my room and the news came on t.v.

A lotta people out there hurtin' and it really scares me

Love and mercy that's what you need tonight

So, love and mercy to you and your friends tonight

I was standin' in a bar and watchin' all the people there

Oh the lonliness in this world well it's just not fair

Oooooo-ooooooo-ooooooo

Oooooo-ooooooo-ooooooo-ooooooo-ooooooo

Ahhhhh-ahhhhhh-ahhhhhh-ohhhhhh-ohhhhhh

Hey love and mercy that's what you need tonight

So, love and mercy to you and your friends tonight

Love and mercy that's what you need tonight

Love and mercy tonight

Love and mercy

You say that you'll always love me

That you'll never leave me blue

Don't you know that, that's all fallacy?

Don't you know it's not true?

You may want the love they talk about

But it isn't like they say

You will find that come tomorrow

You won't feel this way

When you say that you're in love with me

Do you really know what you mean

Or are you saying it because you've heard of it

Or because of something you've seen?

Oh, don't believe that love brings happiness

Gone tomorrow here today

Love involves so much unhappiness

Is this the drudge that pours out of a long clogged pipe?

I almost feel annoyed or mad at the concept of pinning down my feelings and thoughts. Maybe these words aren't really what I mean. Maybe the way you read it isn't how I meant. I want to put myself out there but words and art are so lacking.

Happy but sad. Melancholy and full of rage. Daydreaming and remembering. The hollowness of not being known fully and the cringing away from the light of examination

What's left? What's left but to scream? Why even scream if there's no one to hear it? Why scream when there are people? Why bother? Why should I bother tagging anything? Why not just heavily shrug and wait until it's moved on, in the past? Why not wait until it's all gone and I'm old and gray and alone? Why bother having youth if I don't have anyone to feel the smoothness of my face while I still have it? How can I know myself without another person to reflect on?

How can I see without someone else's eyes?