no fucking fighting

Emily: Kind of.. yeah. But I won't say I blame you though. All of us have some mental breakdowns every now and then where we just feel old and start questioning the things we've done thus far. I know it took me a bit to get out of that way of thinking as well. When I was younger and even more stupid. And you're welcome by the way.

Emily: Yes... oh my god yes, that is a brilliant idea Cillian. Do you want to make it yourself though? You could always order it after all. But if you want to give that a go, I would not be opposed to seeing that happening. I mean as long as it tastes like cake, I think you're fine.

Emily: You've just not ventured far enough in to the world of cake candles man. There are so many options out there. And sparklers! To make one hell of a show. Bring in your new year like New Years eve.

Emily: OH I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK.

Emily: In all seriousness though- I would truly love to. I thrive for party planning. I think I might have actually been a party planner in a previous life or something. You can count on me. I will definitely help you with anything you need.

Cillian: When I turned 40 I knew things would be different, I was entering a new phase of my life. I had a really good time in my 20s and 30s, and in this part of my life I guess I thought it would be a bit more... moderation, I guess? I do still feel like a young man, but looking over the wall into the other side, you know? I need to indulge the young man still inside me.

Cillian: Hmmm... I do wanna try it out and see if I can do it on my own, so I'll do a couple trial runs first to see if I can handle it. If I can make it work, I'll be impressed with myself. If not, then I'll just order one in advance.

Cillian: Ahhh, yes, thank you so much! I’m already feeling better about the idea of having a birthday party seeing you get excited about it! If I get grumpy about getting old again just tell me to shut the fuck up and have some fun.

Cillian: You know what? This is probably the perfect scenario for you to go full Gordon Ramsay on me if I do start having second thoughts or complaining hahaha!

Emily: You know that actually sounds kind of cozy though.

Emily: What is there that speaks against having a normal birthday party just because you're turning 44?

Emily: You're making way big of a deal about this you know that right? Age is literally just a number. Trust me, you don't look it.

Emily: It doesn't have to be a big deal.. You could like invite just your closest friends and have a dinner party. OR- you throw a massive party and get shitfaced.

Emily: Nah it will be fine. How about a long cake? So that the candles are really spread out? Like a table full of cake. But writing that, sounds like even bigger chance of a fire hazard.

Emily: A 44 candle. Like the numbers... Probably quite a bit safer I'd say.

Cillian: Well.... other than my brain... nothing, i guess.

Cillian: Honestly though, you're right. I am sounding like a huge fucking baby aren't I? Bring me a waah-burger and some damn french-cries. But thank you for the compliment, lovely.

Cillian: You know, I'm liking this long cake idea. Honestly, the bigger the cake the more leftovers I'll have so I'm not against it. Even better, what about a cake in the shape of two fours? I'm sure I'd find a way to fuck it up, I've told you before how hopeless I am at baking.

Cillian: Why the hell did I forget all about candles in the shape of the numbers. I'm truly losing my grip on society lol

Emily: Yeeeeeeeessss Cilliaaaaaaaan

Emily: Oh wow- I'm honored. Let's see if I can solve your problems then.

Emily: oH WHAT. Well this is brilliant. Obviously you have to celebrate! It's not wrong no. But you can't just let the day pass like any other day. It's a day of celebrating you made it another lap around the sun.

Cillian: Yeah, yeah you're probably right. But what does one even do for their 44th birthday? Do we sit in a circle around a fire while I tell stories from back in the day, like an old man.

Cillian: God, even saying 44 feels weird. I can feel the crows feet growing on my face as i type this. I wish I didn't feel so fucking olllllld.

Cillian: Emilyyyyy

Cillian: I have a bit of a situation and you're the first person that came to mind to help me out.

It is. It is one of those weekend shows that would be on in the morning. With guests. That’s all I can say. Oh, that sounds like a good idea. You should see my garden. Well, it is mine and my ex-wife’s garden. We still live together even though we aren’t together anymore. But yes, our garden looks pretty good. I am fine, thanks.

I see, that does sound like a fun show to be doing with your son! My boys are still fairly young, my oldest is only twelve but they’re still in the stage of thinking that I’m not exactly cool yet, but i’m not un-cool either - so i’m in that middle criteria, whatever that is, haha. That’s really great on the both of you for being able to be mature and civil, living together even though you are separated. But I would love to see that garden of yours, I’m sure it’s impressive! Do you like to grow a little bit of everything, or certain things in particular? I’m thinking about just starting with some tomatoes and cucumbers, I wanna try my hand at making my own pickles. Do you have any tips for a beginner? 

i’m soooo glad i’m not the only one who’s tired of these sorts of questions. i swear i feel like they cycle the same tired questions year after year because they’re too lazy to come up with something actually worth talking about. i didn’t get many questions like that when i did the 100. they were always more relationship related— which is just as equally annoying, but far more tolerable than the latter. i wish i could say that all of the stunts i did for fear and all the ‘skills’ that alicia had somehow rubbed off on me, but they haven’t and i think the only skill i could bring to the table would be the fact that i can use a butterfly knife without cutting myself. that’s worth something right? exactly. we could both survive at least a week. as long as we stay inside at least.

I’ll be honest with you here, part of me really hates doing the press tours because of how horrible some of these questions we get asked are. With me, I get asked why I don’t have social media more than anything, and then since it’s known that I don’t have it, they’ll ask me things like ‘what’s the emoji that you use the most’ because they already know I probably don’t use them, and they want me to look more like an old shit than I already am. When I did Dunkirk all the interviewers wanted to ask me was how sad I was when Harry Styles had to cut his hair for the role, and of course I had to act like I actually cared. Ooh, you can whip one of those knives around without taking off a finger?! You got me there, color me impressed. Actually, with that bit - I think you would have a better chance at surviving than me. I don’t know what it is about the idea of you having a butterfly knife as your defense, either it’s just how cool you would look flipping it around as you took out some Zeds, or that I’m actually a bit jealous I haven’t been able to master the butterfly knife.

Extended breaks aren’t good for me, I swear, I downloaded TikTok and now it’s all that I use. The videos on the app aren’t long but I can still spend so long on it? It’s crazy. Also, all of the videos I see are people cooking and baking and it all looks amazing. However, when I try it, things never seem to work out. I just want pretty looking cupcakes, is that too much to ask? Also, hello, I’m Lily. 

I’ve been hearing a lot about this TikTok app thing, and it’s gotten me kind of tempted to download it to see what it’s all about - but at the same time, I know better than to even bother with social media. But I seriously understand how you feel about the cooking videos. I’m a sucker for all of the cooking shows, so when I see a new video pop up on my YouTube recommended, I can’t not watch it, you know? But it’s the same with me, I don’t know if I’m fucking up some of the steps in the recipe, or if I’m just not meant to be a baker. Seriously! It should not be so hard to make a good batch of cookies, cupcakes, brownies, or whatever it may be. But whenever I try, they’re discolored, rock hard, or they look alright but somehow taste terrible. It’s simply not fair, baking shouldn’t be this hard. It won’t stop me from going through all the flour and sugar in my house trying over and over again, though. I’m bound and determined. Good to meet you, Lily! I’m Cillian, and if you figure out the trick to making some good looking cupcakes, please let me know.

So disappointed that I wasn’t able to start the show I was supposed to be doing with my son. It is still going to go ahead but now in September or October. I guess the good thing is we can come up with more things to do on the show. How are you doing?

@hchqstarters​

That must be so sweet and exciting, to be doing a project with your son! What kind of show is it going to be? Or is it too soon to be revealing the details? I’ve been doing pretty good, just enjoying the downtime I have and trying to enjoy it, since I usually don’t have a whole lot of time to spare. But it’s been nice, I’m thinking about adding a small plot to my back yard for a garden, so I’m probably gonna try to get that in the works soon. I’ve been wanting to grow some of my own produce for a while, so might as well give it a go. How about yourself?

Recently I have had a few people come up to me and say they love me in Greys Anatomy. They tell me that they have only just started the show but I am their favorite in it. Little do they know what is to come. I think I should get into some new shows. Any ideas on what I can start watching?

@hchqstarters​

Ahhh, yes, I’ve had one of those interactions with some fans as well. You just have to smile and nod, pose for the picture and try your best not to have a look on your face that says ‘you’re fucking in for it, bud.’ That poor fan is just a few months away from their heart being totally broken. Man, I’ve been trying to find some new stuff to watch too, I feel like I watch the same shit over and over again - but I’ll give you a couple suggestions that I’ve been enjoying lately. So, hear me out, I don’t know if you’ve tried watching The Masked Singer yet, I started it kind of as a joke and totally got pulled into it, and now I look forward to the new episodes every week. It’s a fun little silly goose kind of show you don’t have to really pay the most attention to, and it’s on Hulu. Broad City is on there too, that’s another fun show, I just finished rewatching Breaking Bad for probably the twentieth time, so that gets a glowing recommendation from me. What about you though man? Maybe what you’ve been watching hasn’t come across my radar yet.

I had a virtual reunion with my Sonny With A Chance cast mates last week – well, except Brandon ‘cause he’s an idiot that read the time wrong in the group chat. But I’ve only really kept in contact regularly with like two people from back then so it was nice to see everyone else too. Even if it was just through a screen. It really made me realize how much I miss them and all the shit we used to do on set. Pranking each other and how fun it was. What I wouldn’t give to work with them again on something new and not censored by disney. It’d be so much funnier now. But if y’all are as nostalgic as I am about it, SWAC is finally up on Disney+. Just sayin’. I kinda wanna watch it but it also kinda makes me cringe watching myself on screen. So maybe I won’t. If nothin’ else, the theme song is pretty catchy though. @hchqstarters​ 

Catching up with old cast mates is always such a lovely experience, isn’t it? The conversations seem to pick up right where they left off, as if you all didn’t spend a length of time away from each other. It’s crazy to think though, how much time has passed since a project when it doesn’t feel like nearly that long ago. But hey, there’s nothing wrong with getting a little nostalgic now and then, it’s sweet to look back on such fond memories. I have a couple people from old projects that I try to keep in touch with, but I’ve also bumped into quite a few of my cast mates on other projects that I’ve been a part of, so often that I start to think they might be following me from set to set. But that’s even better though, when you get an old co-star with you in a new project, always nice to see some familiar faces. I need to dig around more on Disney+ for some good stuff to binge. The only thing I’ve really gotten into is the Star Wars stuff on there. But last night I did watch a Disney documentary on dolphins which was pretty cool, but I realized really quick that I am not the targeted audience, nor the age demographic. If it wasn’t for this dolphin that isn’t very good at being a dolphin, and likes sea shells and carrying them around on his nose, I probably would have clicked off of it.

You know when you watch something and fall absolutley in love with everything about it? Yeah, well, I watched Rocketman this weekend and my whole life has changed. I can’t stop singing Crocodile Rock. Like, literally can’t stop. It’s all day, twenty-four seven. It’s going to tear my family apart but that’s the risk you have to take for rock n roll, y’know? Maybe I’ll switch it up and throw a little Saturday Night’s Alright in there just to spice things up. When will someone hire me to be in a musical? Why wasn’t I one of the dads in Mamma Mia? Why wasn’t I a backup singer in Rocketman? I feel robbed. Who’s left that we can make a musical movie about? @hchqstarters​

Man, you’re preaching to the fucking choir right now. I watched the new Joker the other day, and I’ve been dancing around my house like Joaquin Phoenix, doing all of the slow ballerina-esque moves and all, and I don’t know why. I know that I’m not doing it very well, and I’m sure I don’t look that great doing it -- which is why I’ve reserved it for only doing inside the house -- but I just can’t stop. I  unfortunately still haven’t gotten around to watching Rocketman, but you simply can’t go wrong with anything to do with Elton John. But I’ll tell you this, when I watched Bohemian Rhapsody, I fell head over heels in love with that movie. I even brought out all my old Queen records and I don’t think I listened to anything except Queen for at least a month and a half. And same with The Dirt - I didn’t even think of myself as much of a Motley Crue fan but the movie definitely changed that. I would love to see a Fleetwood Mac biopic, that’s what the world needs right now.

i think the number one question that i hate more than anything would have to be ‘in the event of a zombie apocalypse, how well do you think your role has prepared you to handle something like that?’ not fucking well i can tell you that. my friends and family all seem to think that just because my alter ego is an actual badass that i would be useful during a zombie outbreak— but i won’t be. i can’t run very fast, and for those of us who have seen zombieland know that the first rule of zombieland is cardio. i’m also a terrible fighter. i wouldn’t last five minutes against the undead, and if someone wanted what goods i had— they’d take them. moral of this story folks— i am NOT your zombie apocalypse savior. @hollywoodcentralhq

Say it louder for the people in the back!! Seriously, thank you for saying this. I feel like I’ve had that same question asked of me at least every other year since I did 28 Days Later back in 2002. And now it’s been coming around again with my new role in A Quiet Place 2, and I just couldn’t agree with you more. I’m not the strongest in general, not a very good runner, I sure as hell don’t really have any worthwhile skills that will be good to have during a zombie apocalypse, and i'm not very good with guns either so I’m out for the count. I would be dead weight to any group that wanted to take me in, so I would probably just accept my fate, indulge myself in my whiskey collection, board up my house and try to make do on my own until the zombies claim me as one of their own. I would love to think that I would make a better survivor since I keep getting cast for apocalyptic roles, but that just isn’t the case. But hey, I guess if you put ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances, anything can happen.