Welcome To The Show

Of emotions,

Sadness,

Darkness,

My demons,

But neither do I understand yours,

Of logic,

anger,

Failure,

Seriousness,

And factuality.

I am a dark stormy sea,

While you are a scorching desert,

I am soft words,

And gentle hands,

While you are stern voiced,

And rough with everything you touch.

I am art,

I didn’t feel comfortable with it.

It carried a weight and a meaning I didn’t even want to begin to think about,

I was down the steps,

Almost to my car,

And you ran out your door.

“Hey!” You shouted

“Hey?”

“Do you have the spare key?”

“No” I muttered

He runs back in and comes out less than a minute later throwing me the key off the balcony.

“Put it on your keychain!” He yells as I manage to catch it and fumble it between my fingers.

“You don’t have to leave it! Ever, I don’t want you to!” He shouts

I nod my head in disbelief and quickly tighten my grasp around the key and hurry to my car.

I’m just being careful you see.

Please know it’s not you I’m running from my darling,

It’s me!

The word “temporary” screams in the back of my mind.

You’re studying me hard,

I can see it in your eyes.

Looking for the truth,

Searching for my little lies.

You’ve made plans for the long run,

Plane trips and wild adventures,

But you don’t know my demons,

And I giggled and said I like you too,

But then he gently grabbed my chin and turned my head so our eyes could meet, and he said no I really like you,

I stared in his deep brown eyes lost for a moment,

Unable to reply

What? He says

I’m just not sure what that means I nervously laughed breaking his gaze and looking down at my hair starting to twist my fingers around my split ends.

He brushes my hair behind my ear and wraps his arm around me tightly pulling me into him.

My head is on his chest, and I’m trying to tell myself this isn’t happening, this doesn’t happen anymore but then he speaks and I melt into him.

I’m falling in love with you, your voice, your eyes, your laugh, your crazy hair, and you’re so kind and strong, you’re hot and beautiful and all I want to do is grow with you, I want to be with you.

I busted out laughing uncontrollably and crying.

My mind was spinning, is this actually happening, I’m such a sad broken girl...

But I haven’t been sad with him.

I’ve been giggly and full of butterflies, I’ve been talked to on the phone until I fall asleep, and I’ve been taken on so many dates and had so many amazing conversations in the past month it’s been unreal, he’s met my mom and my siblings, MY KIDS, he likes my kids, he asks me about them everyday

And he’s beautiful, so fucking beautiful...

I don’t have to question anything,

I haven’t had to wonder what we are,

Or what we’re doing,