can you hear me?

He’d been unconscious all night, so of course Kody didn’t sleep at all. He was traumatised by what had happened; he didn’t know if Kaiden was going to wake up at all. He hadn’t stopped crying. He was silently crying; the thought of loosing the only person who really loved him-and who he loved more than anything-was the scariest thing ever.

Kody was so relieved when Kaiden sat up. When Kaiden noticed that he was with him, Kody buried his head into his neck, wrapping his arms around his waist. He cried hysterically. “K-Kaid!” He cried. “O-oh my g-god, Kaid…” He kissed the crook of his neck countless times. He didn’t know what to say. “K-Kaid…”

As much as Kaiden loved being on the road and touring, everything had seemed to be caving in on him at the moment. He’d figured out that he actually didn’t really like being told what to do by his security guards, because if it was up to him, he’d go out and meet all the fans and spend as long as he wanted with them, and he’d let the show last for as long as he wanted. Of course, having Kody, Blue and Snuffles on the road with him was making him feel better, and seeing the amazing cities America had to offer, but he missed home. He wanted to go home, curl up in bed and just relax. He’d heard a lot about this “mid tour depression” lots of musicians seemed to have, and he didn’t know if he was subject to this, or it was just his conscience’s way of telling him to give up.

It had been nearing six months since Kaiden had self harmed, but he was done, and needed a release as soon as possible. “I’m just going to the toilet, babe.” Kaiden mumbled, planting a kiss on Kody’s cheek as he stood up, stretching a little. “I love you.” He made sure to say, in case anything happened, before he locked himself in the small bathroom on the tour bus. He’d hidden a small screwdriver in the bottom of his makeup bag in the drawers, which he grabbed and then started unscrewing the blade from his pencil sharpener. With a deep breath, he sat down on the floor, rolling up his hoodie sleeves, removing all the wristbands he was wearing before bringing the blade to his skin.

Kody was enjoying snuggling with Kaiden on the sofa, playing with his hands and being in a comfortable silence. Of course, he couldn't stop Kaid from going to the bathroom. "Okay," he smiled, planting a kiss to Kaidens' lips. "I love you more." He giggled, knowing how cheesy he sounded.

After Kaiden got up, he allowed Blue and Snuffles to jump up and cuddle him, as that was something he loved; he couldn't stop cuddling the dogs, they honestly meant so much to Kody. Of course, Kaiden meant so much more to him than anything ever had done. He sat there, smiling and laughing, until he heard a cry come from the bathroom, along with the sound of Kaid vomiting.

His heart was beating uncontrollably. He didn't even know if he should be worried or not, but he was. He ran over, frantically trying to unlock the door. "K-Kaid? Kaid are you o-okay?" He yelled. "K-Kaid!?" He felt his eyes well up with tears. He finally managed to open the door; when he saw what had happened he almost screamed. He dropped to the floor, shaking, with tears flowing, unable to be stopped. "K-KAID?" He cried, sitting him up. He didn't know what to do. He called an ambulance, not knowing how to help him. "K-Kaid, I've called an am-ambulance, okay?" He couldn't stop crying, he was stumbling over his words. He was so scared, he could barely hold himself up, let alone the practically unconscious Kaiden.

When they arrived, he ran to the door as fast as he could, still shaking and crying. He almost fell over a few times, but he got there, running back to Kaiden as soon as they came in. "H-he's over h-here." He said, running. He sat down with him, useless. He just looked at him as the paramedics checked him. He had so many questions, but there was one main one; why? He didn't know what could have happened. Was it his fault? This just made Kody wail even more.

"O-okay," he said. "S-sorry again." He enjoyed Kaiden rubbing his hand up and down his back; it was comforting. "I-I want to go back if y-you do," he started. "I just d-don't really w-wanna see that girl..." He sighed.

Still shaking, Kody felt Kaiden pull him closer, which made him feel a little more at ease, but not completely. When he was told it was just Kaiden's tour manager, Dave, he managed to get calmer and sat up. "H-he wouldn't?" He sighed. "Th-thank god..." He smiled when Kaiden kissed his head.

When Kaiden brushed his fingers through his hair, it comforted Kody a lot. "G-good," he whispered, soaking Kaiden's shirt with tears. "I-I love you too... M-more than anything in the e-entire world." He pressed a kiss to Kaiden's lips and finally, he cracked a little smile.

Kody came back from the bathroom ready to meet more fans. He was anxious, but he was really excited; he enjoyed seeing how much of an impact Kaiden made on other people’s lives. He happily strolled in, ready to meet Kaiden’s fans, but more importantly, to meet with Kaiden again. He smiled at the fans in line and looked up at Kaiden. He froze. “I-wh-wha..” He couldn’t even say anything under his breath. It took all his strength not to cry, but it didn’t work. He turned back around and ran out. He tried to make his way back home despite Kaiden calling him to tell him it wasn’t his fault. He’d heard it all before from Sean, though. They were all the same. Why did he trust Kaiden in the first place? He barely knew him, but his feelings got the better of him.

He’d been walking for what seemed like forever when he was even remotely close to home. It was dark, cold, and rainy; he could barely see. Not only because it was dark, but because his eyes ere full of tears. Truth be told, he was in a lot of danger. The streets at night were not a place that Kody was fond of. Especially now he knew Sean was around.

Once the meet and greet was over, they went backstage as Kaiden got ready for the concert. He gave the younger boy a passionate kiss before he went on. "G-good luck," he smiled. "I love you" he gave him one last kiss and watched him go on stage. He was amazed at how good Kaiden was; he was pretty lovestruck. Knowing that Kaiden was his boyfriend made him so happy. Seeing that he made so many other people happy put butterflies in his stomach knowing that he picked him over everyone. Besides; Kaiden could get anyone to fall in love with him.

After laying in bed and absentmindedly cuddling, talking, and kissing, Kody said "I-I guess we should pack our s-stuff" as he pressed a final kiss to Kaiden's lips.

Later on, it was time for them to go. They got onto the tour bus and settled down with a bag of crisps to share.