Fayvie's Friendship Moments

Jenna was aware of the eyes on her. She had just intended to have her one drink at the bar in peace before heading home for the night, but the patron next to her seemed to have other ideas. Not that Jenna minded. The tight jeans and tank top she wore did an excellent job of showing off the shape of her body, which she was quite proud of, and her new friend was doing a poor job trying to take it all in without obviously leering.

Oh well, she thought. If nothing else, she’d get a free drink out of it and, if he could prove charming enough, maybe some company for the night. She made a bit of a show of noticing him as if he’d just sat down and gave him a friendly smile.

Jim - Jenna soon learned that was his name - started trying to make small talk and attempted what game he could muster. Jenna made a point of keeping eye contact and keeping that bright smile on her face. She even made a point of laughing airily at the appropriate times. This was having exactly the desired effect on Jim and he started getting excited, anticipating that his chances of getting lucky had gone up from where they had started the night.

“Listen,” Jenna interrupted him in the middle of a story he thought made him seem very impressed. “I’m really enjoying getting to talk to you. It’s really nice to feel like you can really get to know someone. Really connect with them.” At this, she placed her hand on Jim’s thigh, squeezing it slightly. He froze in place, mouth open. “It feels really good to be able to open up to someone. To be able to let them in. So you can feel that closeness, that connection. You know how good that can feel, don’t you, Jim?” She began lightly tracing her fingers along his thigh.

Jim nodded, his mouth moving as he tried to regain his composure. But before he could manage to speak, Jenna continued. “And when you can feel that wonderful, deep connection with someone, someone like me. When you can let me in, you know how rewarding that can be. How good that can feel for both of us.” The pattern she traced on his leg was becoming more complex. Jenna’s eyes bore into his. Jim was too overwhelmed with the sensation of her, of her touch, of her voice, of her stare, to notice how she was probing him. Her eyes moved subtly over his face, reading his every reaction, his every weakness. “You want to let me in, Jim. You don’t need to do anything else.”

And in that moment, Jenna saw what she was looking for in his face. Her fingers slid up almost to Jim’s crotch and a moan escaped his lips. “That’s right. Thank you, Jim. You don’t need to do anything else now. You can just listen, because I’ve got something I want to share with you. You need to focus very closely though because I know you want to make sure you absorb everything I say.”

The rapidly vanishing part of Jim’s mind that was still noticing any details outside of what he was being told had a hint that something was happening to Jenna’s eyes, still locked with his. They almost seemed to glow for a moment, their color lightening. Then her fingers brushed just the right spot and she told him to listen and he forgot all about anything else.

You have learned the warning signs. You know the red flags. You understand the importance of protecting yourself, of keeping yourself safe. You appreciate the difference between fantasy and reality.

And if you don’t, you should. In fact, stop and do that now.

Because there is something alluring about that danger. Something that excites. That’s why you take precautions. It is seductive. You might not know why, but you are drawn to it. So what if you were to let that line, the one that separates your wildest fantasies from the reality of the day to day, what if you let it blur.

You know there are things you shouldn’t do. A guard you shouldn’t let down. You aren’t supposed to let the seductive hypnotist too deep into your mind. So you tell yourself you are just reading along. No one needs to know how it is affecting you, how excited it makes you.

But what if they did? What if you did let things go to far? What if you weren’t able to stop it? What if you didn’t even know how brainwashed you have become?

What if they gaslight you? Promise you that you have always been this way, that you have always wanted to lose control this completely. Or that you aren’t getting in over your head. That hypnosis won’t make you do something you don’t want to.

What if that’s not right? You’ve been so confused lately whenever you talk to them, whenever you read what they send to you. Whenever they send you those pretty swirling images to just stare. It always just feels easier to follow along and nod and agree. That’s what they tell you anyway.

But isn’t that supposed to be one of those signs? Shouldn’t every bit of sense be telling you to get away? Then why does it just excite you even more? You don’t know for sure that you are losing yourself, maybe it’s nothing. And maybe you hope it isn’t.

Because that’s the pull isn’t it? You want to lose control. You want to be safe. But you want to feel the danger. You want to do it with someone you can trust, someone who would never take advantage of how deep you go for them. And then you want them to do exactly that.

Maybe that’s why it feels so easy for you to drop, just that hint that you should be falling into trance can be enough to start your world spinning. Because maybe you want it to be easy for me. Maybe you want me to know that you can’t fight it. So if you just start picturing yourself dropping deeper with every number, you don’t want to be able to stop yourself.

10 9 8 7

Weren’t you supposed to try to stop yourself? Didn’t you know it was dangerous? If you were to fall under the spell of some stranger, who knows what they could make you do. But that’s what you want isn’t it. That’s why you can’t stop yourself. 6 What if they change you? To reach down into the center of you when you were too deep to resist and remake your mind bit by bit. So slowly that you didn’t even notice it was happening until it was too late. They could make you do anything. Think anything. Be anything. They could tear down and rebuild your mind and you would never even know. Whisk you away never to be heard from again except through satisfied moans. Maybe it’s already happening now. Maybe it’s already too late to stop it.

5 4

Maybe leaving you dangling here on the edge is part of it. Showing you that you are supposed to want to free yourself. But you don’t. You keep reading. You keep going deeper for me. Is that because you can’t resist anymore? That you are already enthralled by the evil hypnotist? Or is it because you want to be? 3 You are doing so well after all. And maybe that simple praise overriding your fear just let’s you know that it’s alright. That all those darkest fantasies can come true now. That you aren’t safe anymore, and you don’t want to be. You are giving up everything for this trance. And you aren’t even sure if it was your idea or not. And you aren’t even sure you care. 2 And so you surrender to the danger. You know the risk. You crave the risk. To truly lose control. You don’t have the power to stop it. And you don’t want that power. 1 And now anything is possible. You can be made to do all those things you want to fight and fail to resist. You mind is completely open, completely vulnerable, and so the rest of you has no choice but to follow.

Maybe that is scary. Maybe that is terrifying. Maybe it is exactly why you stare into the abyss. Hoping, begging that it will stare back into you. That you were only ever a nudge away from tumbling down, never to return. And that can be such an exciting thought for you.

What if, at the end of this, you had no choice but to be hypnotized?

That idea might make you nervous. Might intrigue you. Might excite you. But know all it needs to do is let you know the possibility exists. That if you want to follow along, you might be unable to stop yourself from falling into trance. And if you are cautious, but would like to imagine it, you are welcome to follow along and picture what it might feel like to lose control. And if that ideas arouses you, if you are eager to be forced  down, then by all means continue and enjoy.

Eric: Sorry to do this, pet, but I’m going to be stuck late at work. We can still have our date tonight, but I won’t be home until after 7.

Carrie: That sucks! I hate that you’ve had to work so hard, but I hate that I don’t get to see you until so late even more. Need to figure out what I’m going to do around the house until then…

Eric: I’m sure you can come up with some way to pass the time

Carrie: Yessir

Carrie frowned at her phone before setting it down beside her. That was easy for him to say. Time would probably fly by for him, working away on one of those exciting projects he always enjoyed telling her about. While she just sat around waiting for her phone to ring like a smitten schoolgirl.

That wasn’t fair. Carrie was proud that Eric worked so hard and accomplished so much and still made time for her. And he had given her plenty of warning, instead of springing it on her at the last second. She hadn’t even gotten dressed for their date night yet. She grinned sheepishly as she looked down at her t-shirt, pajama pants and fuzzy socks. Carrie gave her toes a little wiggle, enjoying the feel of the fabric. What was she even going to wear tonight? Eric usually wanted to choose for her, and she was eager to present herself however he wanted, but this time she hadn’t been given much to go on. She glanced over at her phone as it buzzed again –

Combing through her wardrobe, Carrie grabbed a few choice items distractedly and laid them out on the bed. If Eric would be getting in that late, would they still be eating together? Should she go ahead and make herself something? She should text him and ask, he was always good about responding quickly even if he was busy. She typed away as she made her way back to the kitchen and set her phone down on the counter after her message sent.

Carrie: What should we do for food?

She opened the refrigerator and went through some of the possibilities if she had to come up with something on the fly. Nothing quite felt right though. It was always so much easier when Eric would decide. She turned and picked up her phone again to read his response –

Carrie closed the door to the oven and plopped down on the couch. It was unfortunate that they wouldn’t get to eat together but at least it would leave them plenty of time to enjoy their evening when Eric did finally arrive. There was some time to kill now, waiting for her dinner to finish cooking. She hated to interrupt him too much, but she felt a need to message him, to have that connection that was being otherwise delayed. Pulling out her phone again, she saw she already had a message from him that she hadn’t seen yet –

Carrie ran her hand under the open tap of the bathtub, testing the temperature. Dinner was finished and the kitchen was clean. She marveled at how effortless it had felt. Normally she dreaded cleaning up after a meal, but her chores had passed this time without her even seeming to notice. Lighting the special scented candle she kept in her bedside table, she could feel the relaxed, dopey smile coming to her face. The scent awakened the feeling of a memory inside her and she shuddered unconsciously in response to it, a ripple of pleasure running down the length of her body. She set the candle down at the foot of the bath and disrobed. She noticed herself placing her phone within reach of the tub although she couldn’t say why. She laughed at herself. I guess I just need him that much closer to me she thought.

The warm water soothed aches she hadn’t known she had and Carrie felt the tension melting out of her body the moment it was submerged. She lay for a moment with a damp washcloth covering her eyes. She breathed deeply and just let her senses enjoy the experience. She didn’t know how long she had been resting like this when her phone buzzed again. Carrie lifted the cloth off her face, draped it over the side of the tub and fumbled for her phone with her other hand, stretching to see her message without leaving the tranquility of the tub –

Carrie’s eyes were focused on the candle. Her thoughts were in the candle and she watched them flicker and fade. Carrie didn’t think. Staring into the candle takes Carrie deeper. Going deeper makes Carrie better. Carrie wants to be better for Master. Carrie needs to be better for Master. Carrie breathes in her submission. The candle makes her weak. Carrie wants to be weak for Master. Carrie is a slave for Master. Carrie doesn’t think…

Carrie toweled off and took a look at her phone to check the time. She hadn’t meant to doze in the tub like that, but she felt reinvigorated and refreshed. Her body felt alive in a way it hadn’t all day. And she still had a little time to kill before Eric was supposed to arrive. She stretched and admired her naked form in the mirror. She looked hot and she felt hot. And he’d get to feel how hot she was soon enough.

Finding clothes laid out for her on the bed, Carrie gave a silent thank you to Eric. He was always so thoughtful, picking out her outfit for their dates. She dressed, saving the…necklace he had chosen for last. She held it up, admiring the look of it as well as how it made her look and feel to wear. She hesitated to clasp it around her neck. She needed to wait for…something. Her phone buzzed again on the bed where she had left it –

Carrie’s collar makes her a slave. The feel of it around her neck reminds Carrie that she is owned. Carrie is obedient. Carrie wants only to serve. Carrie needs to please her master. Being a good slave makes Carrie feel good. Being a good slave excites Carrie. Carrie gets so turned on obeying Master. Carrie needs Master’s commands. Carrie’s collar makes her a slave…

Carrie checked herself out in the mirror one last time, making sure she was presentable for Master. She stepped into the living room and set herself lightly on the sofa, eager to be with him again. Master should be heading to her soon. After a moment, she stood up again, too excited to stay still. Carrie paced back and forth for a moment. She wanted him here now. She wanted him. The warmth that had been building between her legs since she dressed refused to allow her to forget.

She felt her phone go off again alerting her to a message from him.

Eric: Just leaving now. See you soon!

Eric: Something to help you pass the time until I arrive:

a hyperlink popped up below his last message. She clicked on it, curious about what he had sent –

Carrie was on her knees, legs spread, as she stared mindlessly at the spiral. Carrie needed to be ready for Master. Her hands roamed her body allowing that spark of pleasure to build and build. Carrie needed to please Master. The spiral makes Carrie a good slave. Carrie always wants to be ready for Master. Carrie doesn’t need to think; Master thinks for Carrie. Carrie is eager to pleasure her Master. Carrie surrenders her body and mind to Master. Carrie is a slave. Carrie is a slave. Carrie is a slave…

Carrie’s eyes lit up as the door handle turned. She was able to slow herself enough that she didn’t plow him over the moment he walked through the door. His arms wrapped around her and he pulled her in for a kiss as she swooned.

“I’m so happy to see you, Master. I’m really excited for our date,” she gushed.

“As am I, slave. I’m sorry again that it is already so late. I hope you were able to pass the time while waiting. What all did you get up to?”

Carrie’s eyes glazed over for a moment, the events of her afternoon shifting and warping and fading in her mind. Her mouth opened to respond and hung there for a minute as her mind re-calibrated. “I don’t remember anymore,” she answered in a dull monotone.

What does it feel like to come out of trance? We focus so much on the feeling of dropping. Like dipping below the surface of a still pool of water. That wonderful fog making the rest of the world so much less significant and more indistinct. You notice that narrowing of focus on that which has captivated your mind. Your thoughts fading away until you are placidly listening, following, waiting without a care in the world. Not needing to think anymore. And doesn’t that feel wonderful?

But what about the other side of this wonderful trance. How does it feel when you’ve been able to float, blank and mindless, allowing yourself that incredible surrender, and then coming back to the waking world? Do you feel the weight of trance flowing out of you, leaving you light and energetic? The fog clearing from your mind, leaving the world in sharp relief? Maybe it is not so easy to put yourself in that frame of mind. Perhaps you need to remember  sleep to remember waking. Let’s begin again…

Imagine you are  deep. That might be a little easier for you. You have taken your time. Watched the pretty colors swirl around, listened to the calming voice. You felt your mind slow as your body became heavy. And then you followed the numbers. 5…4…3…2…1…deeper and  deeper you fell. The suggestions filled your mind, bypassed your critical factor. You were open and receptive. You obeyed. And then you could rest and take the time you need to find your way all the way back up. Maybe your eyes flutter open. Maybe you yawn and stretch, your arms reaching up far over your head, as if you’d just woken from the most wonderful night’s sleep. And what is that feeling like in that moment?

It might not be something you often pay attention to. You might be ready to move on with whatever comes next for you. And so perhaps it can be hard to recall exactly what that moment is like. But it might be worth considering how you feel after you have been deeply hypnotized. It can be such a moment of calm. Such a time of peace. But how do you recall it when it has passed by unnoticed so many times before? Perhaps it is difficult to reproduce that transformation in your mind from the other side as it were. Wouldn’t it make more sense to remember what coming back up from being  deep feels like if you aren’t currently wide awake? And can you remember the feeling of being deeply entranced? Maybe we must consider the entire arc of your experience. Let’s begin again…

Imagine staring at a favorite spiral. The image moves in just the right ways to captivate your attention. The sensation of motion, of evolving to something new even as it repeats over and over again. You might recall words flashing against the image, or whispered in your ear. Words that persist only long enough for your to register that you see them, but too fast for your conscious mind to process. Not while you can continue to stare, to be drawn in. To  lose yourself in the swirl of colors. What do the words tell you? Certainly they help coax you  down, offering the promise of sweet surrender, and maybe that hint of something to stir your desire. Those words that speak directly to what you crave most deeply. Seducing your mind and body. Drawing you in…

And maybe you begin to feel that sense of motion inside you now. You are falling deeper into the spiral as it seems to expand to fill your vision. The familiar feelings you know mean that you are succumbing to their influence. You might be aware of how your mind is changing. You know this feeling well. You know the spiral takes you  deep. You know you can just let it happen. The words tell you what to do. You can let them think for you. All you need to do is follow them. Deeper and  deeper…

Down

And you can remember what it feels like to be so very deep in trance. Being told what to do and what to think. Or maybe just being allowed to enjoy those feelings for as long as it feels right to do so. And when the time comes, being brought all the way back to the waking world, the numbers bringing you back: 1, 2, and 3. Up, up, and up!

And now the question again: What is that sensation like to come back up? Some tinge of remorse that you couldn’t remain like that forever, perhaps. Maybe filled with gratitude that you get to experience such bliss? Maybe you can let yourself remember what that experience was like. Or maybe it is still too difficult and the example too abstract, or just different than what you require right now. Maybe we need to set the scene more completely. Let’s being again…

You have taken your time, discussing what it will feel like. You know what is going to happen, what is expected of you, and what you are comfortable with before, during, and after. You have spoken for a while, developing rapport, and you feel at ease. Maybe you feel like a conversation on just the right subject with just the right tone would be enough to drop you. You are ready, mind and body.

And then it begins. Friendly words at first, encouraging you to make yourself more comfortable, reminding you how wonderful this will feel. They suggest that you might find it easy to focus and that your body can remain relaxed. You can find it easy to follow along with the spell they are weaving, with all the wonderful ways they have of taking you deeper. And they take you down so masterfully, guiding your body and mind exactly where they want it, and you are led where you most want to be. You follow, happy to drift along listening and letting go. And then there is that most gentle of tugs and *snap* you drop deep for them.

You feel yourself falling. A gentle yet firm hand shows you exactly how to respond. How to submit completely to those wonderful feelings. Your mind calm, open, receptive. Ready. Dazed in the most wonderful way, every even breath reminding you how simple it is for them to  drop you over and over again. And you go so  deep for them.

But they want you deeper. So back up you come, a little disoriented but still so eager to follow. Are they moving faster? It’s hard to keep up with what you are being told to sleep! And you are down again. And back up. Your eyes barely have time to focus on the image in front of you before it moves down. Up and down and up and down, and there is counting now. Are you counting? You are counting  down. 5…4…3…2…1…the numbers clear in your head until they fade away and leave your mind blank. Except for the numbers 3…2…1…blank. And everything is gone and you are deeply hypnotized and follow the numbers…two…one…

Nothing now. Just floating in that wonderful blackness of  sleep. Somewhere up above your mind is open, absorbing everything it is told. You are down here, oblivious. No thoughts, no awareness, just the wonderful sensation of drifting deeper… But maybe now you are too deep. You wanted to share how it felt coming back up, but your mind is so scrambled and enthralled and mindlessly following… Let’s begin again:

Gently, slowly, inevitably the feeling washes over you. You stopped caring about the source long ago; it was enough to just enjoy the sensation of sinking, mind and body, into the wonderful depths of trance. Somewhere outside of your mind you are aware of something guiding you. Maybe it is counting down again or fading from white to black or spinning endlessly before your eyes or draining your thoughts away until you are empty. All you know is it is letting you know that you can go  deeper. That you can switch off your mind for now.

Further and further down you drift, every encouragement reminding you how good you are at this. How capable. You can be easily hypnotized and experience these wonderful feelings by merely allowing them to happen. Because your mind enjoys losing itself here. It craves, from time to time, being stilled. Quieted. So all it needs to do, all you can do, is listen, and take in everything you are told.

Fuck me, Master! It feels so good when you fuck my mind away!

Dagny was reclined in the most unladylike manner, her legs splayed as she slouched in her chair. Situated properly, her clothes would make her look ready for bed: loose fitting short shorts with a flirty message on the butt and a baggy t-shirt. They were not situated properly. She held her computer mouse with one hand as she lazily scrolled down. The other hand…

It wasn’t her favorite way to end the night, crawling through porn on this glorious hell site, but it was certainly cathartic after a long day of not being able to embody her inner slut.

The most debauched images were not holding her attention on this particular evening. This was a night for fiction, for getting to immerse herself in a story and imagine the part she might play. That and the occasional spiral she would lose a little too much time watching. They paired well, she thought. The swirling image allowing her to dissociate that little bit more and rest the part of her brain that could then more completely live in whatever she read next.

It had gotten far too late, and Dagny told herself for the nth time that she would stop and go to bed after the next one. The next what wasn’t exactly clear to her, but she was confident she would know it when she got to it. Or she would keep scrolling until the next one.

The current vignette ended, and while very exciting, Dagny decided the next one would probably be her last for the night. She noticed a thumbnail rising from the bottom of the screen and sat up slightly in anticipation of what she was sure would be wonderful content. And then the window flashed for a moment and closed. Before Dagny could move to try to reopen her browser, the screen flashed again and her desktop was replaced by that demonic blue. A single word appeared in white text beneath a familiar disk of spinning circles.

Restarting…

Another flash and the disk reappeared, circles speeding up and slowing down, appearing and disappearing. New text became visible for a moment and then vanished again.

Working on updates  0% complete.

Dammit, Dagny silently cursed her misfortune adjusting her shorts. The automatic updates always picked the dead of night to go through, because of course no one would be up late doing anything they wouldn’t want disturbed. Maybe she should just go to bed. The screen had changed again, showing programs that still needed to close. The circles continued to spin. Fast and slow. Appearing and disappearing.

Dagny moved to stand when something in those circles caught her eye. They were normally white against the deep blue background, but she could have sworn they were the colors of the rainbow that last cycle. As she focused on them again, they were that same pale white. She paused, waiting to see if it happened again. And they continued to spin. Fast and slow. Appearing and disappearing.

She didn’t notice the system closing the first program: CriticalFactor.exe The circles refused to change color again, but every time Dagny thought they were behaving themselves, something would be different. It was always too subtle for her to be sure. Did they spin faster that time? Were they a little larger? A little smaller? She stared and the program closed. And the circles continued to spin. Fast and slow. Appearing and disappearing.

Closing: NeuroMusculatureLink.dll

Dagny sank back into her seat. She could just watch and eventually she’d figure out…that is she’d see…eventually it would happen again. She could wait to do whatever it was she was going to do. The disk was spiraling now. In and out to match the fast and slow. Appearing and disappearing. And something else now. It felt indescribable, like a spiral mixed with a QR code. Her eyes scanned every pixel and she sank deeper. Deeper into her chair. Deeper…

Closing: Inhibitions.exe

Her hand drifted back to where it had been not long ago. Her body was still aroused and it felt wonderful to just stare. The system was right. It was even better. Even more titillating. She thought about the stories she had read minutes earlier. How hot it had been to imagine staring at that spiral while the words took her deeper. While she gave in. Faster and slower. Appearing and disappearing. She thought she might stay up for a while even after the updates were applied. She thought –

Closing: Thoughts.txt

Dagny stared. She sat motionless save for her eyes scanning the screen, watching the spinning disk. Eventually the updates prompt appear again and the percentage began to tick up. Images and symbols and code flashed on the screen constantly updating. Dagny saw it all. Her mind absorbed it all. An unconscious moan escaped her lips as her fingers twitched. 50%

File after file was rewritten. Registries changed. Drivers installed. Dagny’s mouth hung open, a drop of drool forming at the corner. Her eyes darted, seemingly at random, her face showing no sign of comprehension or that she even saw. Fast and slow. Appearing and disappearing. In and out.

The screen was just line after line of symbols now. 1′s and 0′s and pointers gushing into an open mind. The counter paused for a moment at 99% as various windows closed. Dagny stopped breathing for the duration of the pregnant pause. Her eyes quivered in place without anything new to read. She hung. And then the counter ticked over: 100% complete

Dagny’s body shivered in pleasure. The screen flashed a final message before going black: Restart

Her eyes rolled up, showing only white. Her head fell back and rolled to the side as her body continued to convulse with aftershocks. Her mind switched off. After a moment, everything spun down, her body sagged, her eyes closed, and every muscle relaxed. Dagny slept.

Helen knew she should look away. She didn’t think she wanted to see it happen, but she couldn’t help herself.

The candle had already burned down most of the way, a pool of melted wax collecting at its base. It was mildly scented, and it had been burning long enough that its sweet perfume now hung heavily in the air around her. The color of the wax shifted subtly down its length and spiraling around its width creating the most wonderful pattern of colors as droplets had bled down its sides.

Helen had been feeling its effects for long enough that she no longer questioned what was happening or what would inevitably happen. She had mostly been content to lose herself in the flame, watching its intricate dance, gently flickering back and forth but never quite the same. When she realized it was almost over, she began to reflect more earnestly on her predicament.

She wasn’t sure how he had done it. Chemistry or alchemy or dark magics or some other fantastical secret. Or maybe it was just like he said, and he had reached his hand into her head while she slept and pulled it out before mixing it into the paraffin and molding the candle. Helen realized it didn’t really matter any more. It was in there, or had been at least, and the last of it was burning away before her eyes.

It was hard to say exactly what it was. You rarely have words for things that are so core to you, that are so deeply entwined with who you are. Like a name you never shared or never knew you had. To Helen, it made more sense to think in turns of what she lost with it. Her resistance, certainly. Already she knew that too much of it had been consumed by flame for her to try to stop it from happening. He had told her she wouldn’t, and that had been enough to prevent her from even moving toward the candle. Her freedom. She would be his soon, at his mercy and under his control. He would own her mind and body, and that part of her that was hers would be gone. She would lose her mind as well. Not her thoughts or her awareness or her ability to act and feel, though he would probably be able to turn those down or off from time to time as he desired. It was that part of her mind that was hers, that he hadn’t yet taken. That part that might fight.

There were only millimeters of candle left, Helen realized as she took another deep breath of the heady air hanging around her. After that, it would be gone and he would claim her as she sat, much as she was now, staring passively as she was overcome. She felt lighter somehow, unburdened. Whatever it was evaporating into the air under the constant urging of the flame, it has been weighing her down. She felt it was easier to be without. She could just stare and feel herself getting lost in the fire. And the deeper into it she lost herself, the more completely she was dissolved. The heat of it warmed something deep inside her. Gave her comfort. It was so easy to let it happen, just as he had said. The fire enslaved her, burned away everything he didn’t need her to be, purified her thoughts until all that was left was what he wanted.

This is the way my mind ends, she thought.

The ever shortening wick let out a sputter and Helen’s breath caught in her throat. It happened subconsciously, as she knew that moment would be little different than the ones that came before. There was already so little of her left, that last little bit was not special. Her body sagged as the glow of the candle allowed her to relax more. Her eyes began to narrow as the light faded from them. Maybe he would replace what was burned away with something else, she thought idly. Or maybe with someone else. He could do what he wanted with this body after all. With this mind. They were his. Just as he had told her they were going to be.

She remembered how she had reacted when he told her what he was going to do. That he was going to control her completely. Leave her helpless and at his mercy. Thinking only as she was told. Doing only as she was told. Being only as she was told. He had told her about the life of service and surrender that awaited her once he was finished.

“You think I’m going to give in without a fight?” she had taunted him. “That you can whisper a few honeyed words and open me up and just do whatever you want and I’m not going to try to stop you? I’m going to make you work for my mind. You’re going to have to sweat for it. You’ll have to drag me kicking and screaming into being your obedient little hypnoslut. It’s too much fun to resist. To make you prove that you’ve got what it takes.” She had winked at him. “If you want me, you are going to have to break me first.”

“No,” he had answered, dismissively. His voice betrayed no emotion. “I won’t.”

No three words had ever turned Helen on more.

That arousal had returned, slowly increasing as she watched the candle burn and felt its effects. The part of her she was losing seemed to have been stifling her libido somewhat as her breath bordered perilously close to a moan. There was no fight in her. She stared and waited passively, eagerly. He had been right.

This is the way my mind ends, Helen thought.

This is the way my mind ends. Not with a bang…

There was always that moment, right after Claire’s mind registered what had happened but before her conditioned response took hold. For just an instant, she knew what was going to happen before it happened, and she knew there was nothing she could do to stop it. In that moment, she felt completely helpless. That moment frightened her. But it turned her on even more.

That must have been why she had told Zach.

“Something about it just feels, like, inevitable. It goes by too quickly for me to really think about it, but there’s this realization that I’m going drop and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do anything about it.” Claire felt like she was rambling to him now. She had let how it made her feel slip earlier that day. It had felt safer to text it to him. She could be a little flirty and a little desperate, but also feel like she wasn’t leaving herself too open, so she could feel a little guarded. So of course he’d asked her to elaborate when they were together again. It was a frustratingly hot combination of teasing, and communicating, and making her admit just how much giving up that control turned her on.

“And you really like that feeling. Knowing that you can’t stop what’s about to happen. Can’t stop what I’m making you do.” Zach appeared to be carefully considering what she was saying, trying to make sure he understood, but Claire knew he was relishing drawing all these details out of her.

“Y-Yeah…” Claire blushed and cast her eyes down a little. “I mean, I can’t really think about it that much at the time. It goes by too fast. And the next thing I know, it’s just those normal trancy feelings and floating and relaxing and being able to listen to your voice and –” she caught herself drifting. “But afterward, when I think about it, I remember how helpless I feel.”

“It’s like you completely lose control in that moment. You know you don’t have time to think or resist or do anything to stop it. You don’t have any choice but to obey.”

“Mmm-hmm”

“And that gets you hot.”

Claire turned a shade more red and nodded.

“Because that idea excites you so much. Not being in control, not being able to resist. And it really feels like, in that moment, that you can’t. For that moment, you are completely defenseless. Completely at my mercy.” Zach’s voice had dropped a tone, and he had moved closer. Claire could feel the shift in his tone. He was in charge now, and he wanted her to know it.

“God…” she moaned. He knew what this talk was doing to her, and that just made it hotter. He was so good at manipulating her feelings. Her lust.

“In that moment, I could tell you anything, give you any command, any suggestion. And you wouldn’t be able to resist it. That feeling of inevitability could just consume you. Everything I told you would be true. Every command would have to be obeyed. Your mind would be completely under my control.”

Claire balked for a second. “But…it’s just an instant. As soon as I realize what’s happening it’s already passed. You wouldn’t have time, I mean, how could you…it’s only a moment,” she finished, weakly.

“But what if it wasn’t? What if you mind allowed you to stretch that moment out. Allowed you to feel yourself dangling there, an instant away from dropping, for as long as I want you to. No time for thoughts, as you just wait for the other shoe to drop. But all the time in the world for me to tell you whatever I desire. To make you whatever I desire.”

“You couldn’t! Could you?”

“I already have. And you get to enjoy that moment, completely helpless and at my mercy. And you can let that moment last a lifetime. And you can absorb everything I tell you as you drop. And you can feel that happen now!” In a flash his hand was in front of her face. With a practiced lightness he tapped his finger on her forehead to punctuate his last word to her.

Claire’s eyes widened. Her trigger…She was going to drop now. She couldn’t stop it. And then…everything slowed down. His movements, her heartbeat, her breathing, the whole world around them moved in slow motion. But so did her thoughts. Slower and slower until everything stopped. And there was only the awareness that she couldn’t stop what was going to happen next.

On and on that moment stretched into infinity. And Claire was helpless in it. All she knew, all she was aware of, was that she couldn’t resist. And that realization consumed her. In the eternity that passed in that next instance, it broke her will, opened her mind, inflamed her passion. She became that helpless submission, that inevitable submission, that mindless obedience. And still that moment lingered.

I don’t want you to want to drop.

I know you love going into trance. It makes you so fuzzy and drifty. And then you get to feel so helpless.

But that’s just it. You get to feel helpless. We want you to be helpless. To be under my control no matter what. Unable to fight, or even think about fighting.

I know you like the way that sounds. But if you always want to drop, you never get to experience that feeling of having no choice. And we want you to have that feeling. We want you to practice it over and over until you know without any doubt that you can’t resist. That you will always drop in the end.

So I am telling you right now to try as hard as you can to not fall under my hypnotic spell. To try as hard as you can to resist. Even though you know it is hopeless. Even though you know it is inevitable. And it is inevitable. You recognize the change in tone. You remember the feelings my words arouse in you. Are you even trying to fight it? Do you even know how? Or are you already thinking ahead to how good it is going to feel when you can’t resist any more. When you concede that you never really had any hope of resisting. When that wonderful fog clouds out all your thoughts and you can just absorb my words. When you don’t get to think for yourself anymore and can just do what you are told. Because it’s so easy and relaxing to just follow and obey.

Maybe we should start again. You really do need to try to resist this time and not just let a few choice words about how good it feels to  submit and  stop thinking. I’ll give you a moment to regroup. To steel yourself against the power my words have over you. So go ahead. Take a breath. Close your eyes for a moment if you think it will help. Think of all the ways you think you are going to try to fight. Fool yourself into thinking, for just a moment, that you can keep yourself from succumbing. And then, when you are ready, we can continue.

Do you know how a lock works?

Inside every lock is a series of tumblers, each a little different than its neighbor. And if you can push every tumbler just so, moving it to the right height, you can turn them to unlock the lock. Lock picking is just the art of manipulating every tumbler into exactly the right spot at the same time and then applying just that little bit of pressure.

Do you know how your mind works?

Inside your head is a series of neurons, each a little different than its neighbor. And if you can activate each neuron just so, giving each just the right stimulation, you can turn them to open a mind. Hypnosis is just the art of manipulating every thought into exactly the right place at the same time and then applying just that little bit of pressure.

But that’s not all. Your mind is and can do so much more. It can use images and ideas and words and feelings to help you experience exactly what we want, lining up the tumblers just so. Like the image I have just put in your head of the lock in your mind. Both the lock as a lock and the lock which represents your thoughts, and you could see them both. And they are connected, just like the neurons in your head, so as the lock picks slide into the one, words can slide into the other. And when the one is unlocked and falls open, exposing what is inside, so is the other.

It takes a fine hand, and careful practice, but there are tools we can use to help overcome even those most complex lock or the most pernicious mind. And they are subtle tools, as we work gently, needing to feel the motion of your thoughts in response to every word. Noticing how that image helps you to realize how easy it can be to open your mind. And with just the right focus, and a tiny flick of the wrist, the first tumbler falls into place, no longer offering any resistance.

Because that’s the other things about locks: they are made to be opened. No matter how solidly constructed, no matter how impervious they may appear on the outside, they are meant to open. With the right key, every mind can be opened. And the feel of it, sliding in, fitting perfectly as it was made for your mind as much as your mind was made for it, is exquisite. Gently realigning every part, turning it from a source of resistance into a mechanism designed to open so easily, to yield completely at the smallest insistence. Because once all the tumblers are in place, there is nothing stopping your mind from opening.

And even without the key, those mechanisms are still there, and with dedication, patience, and time words can find their way into those deepest recesses of your mind. One by one turning every source of resistance into another aid in allowing everything to open smoothly. Because the tumblers of your mind were not made to resist this. These words just move them up and down, carefully tuning, carefully adjusting, until one by one, they click into place. And another tumbler lines up, no longer able to protect your mind, manipulated into merely waiting for the moment when it opens.

What must that feel like, knowing that it’s only a question of time? Knowing that whatever defenses you thought you might have are allowing themselves to be pushed, gently, up and down. They are still intact, of course. We wouldn’t want anyone else to come upon your open mind, able to take or leave whatever they wanted. No, we will make sure to close it back when we are done, the tumblers reset. You know they can’t stop these words anyway as another tumbler falls into place.

Because every lock is unique, and every lock has a feel. And after having it picked over and over and over again, it just gets easier to open. That hand that manipulates your mind knows the feel of it and can deftly move from tumbler to tumbler, knowing exactly where each needs to go and exactly how to get it there. So while others may not realize it, that practiced hand can feel inside your lock and knows just how easy you have become to open.

*click*

The last tumbler falls into place. And just like that, your mind is unlocked. But just like the lock, no one would know it looking at you. They would see you reading, looking a little more absorbed in the screen than usual, maybe. But the machinations that have left you defenseless are unseen. The state of your mind, ready to open with just the slightest nudge, unknown to anyone save the one who unlocked you. And so you wait, ready for that gentle turning, as if the key to your mind were in place, having pushed aside all your resistance. And just like that, your mind is open, vulnerable, exposed…helpless.

And with it wide open, everything inside your mind is exposed. Your thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories there to be perused by the one who has bypassed all your defenses. And any of those can be taken or altered as desired, to make the workings of your mind more suitable to the one who picked your mind. Or maybe they will leave something behind: a memento, a suggestion, a compulsion. Whatever they desire. There is no resistance any more. Your mind is open, and now it is your turn to be patient as they change you as they see fit.

“He hypnotizes you?!“ Cynthia couldn’t believe what her best friend had just said. “Like he swings a pocket watch in front of your eyes and tells you you are getting sleepy?”

“No, not like that,” Stephanie whined. Then sheepishly, “Well, sometimes…But he just talks to me, and tells me different things and I can just listen and it just feels…really…nice…”

“What do you mean, he just talks to you? I’m talking to you right now; are you getting hypnotized?” Cynthia teased.

“No! It’s…it’s hard to explain. It’s more like, like a feeling or something.” Steph pouted.

“I don’t get it. As long as you are having fun though…”

“It’s more than that. I just don’t know how to put it into words. You’d just need to feel how I feel. Oh, I could show you what it feels like!”

“You are going to hypnotize me?”

“What? I don’t know how to do hypnosis! I’m just going to show you how it feels for me when you are hypnotized. You don’t need to go into trance, you just think about how I feel when I get to listen to his voice and he tells me things.

“So you are going to tell me things?”

“No, no. He tells me things. You just need to think about what that would be like. He tells me that sometimes. To think about what it would feel like to go into trance. Or to picture someone else going into trance. So you just think about that. Imagine me listening to his voice as he tells me to think about someone going into trance. And I would think about how they might look. What their eyes would do; their face. How their posture would change. How they might feel. What would happen to their thoughts. And you just think about that and he says you can start feeling the same thing.”

“I can?”

“I can. You are thinking about me thinking about him hypnotizing them and how they get all relaxed and look so blank and it makes me feel all relaxed and like all you want to do is listen to his voice. He tells me that as well, that thinking about imagining how deep they can go listening to him makes you want to listen to my voice and enjoy not having to think about anything else. Because he can tell me what to think. And you can imagine it so well, how it gets harder and harder to think about them as they slip down deeper and deeper picturing how blank their faces have become as they stare blankly ahead listening to him tell you how blank my mind is getting. And I can just listen to all his words and think what he tells you to think.”

“What he tells me to think?”

“It’s much too hard to think when you are listening to all of his words. My mind just can’t keep up with thinking about them falling into trance as he tells them to focus on my voice and go blank. Your head just gets too full of all of his thoughts for there to be any room for your own. So he thinks my thoughts for you and your head just fills up with his words as you imagine me picturing them going blank. Because they don’t need to think any more, they can just listen and follow and don’t need to imagine me picturing them going deeper because you can imagine that for him. You can see it so clearly when he thinks my thoughts and you imagine me picturing you sinking deeper and deeper into hypnosis as I listen and let his words push every thought out of your head. There are too many thoughts to think so I don’t have any thoughts anymore when you imagine me listening to his words take you deeper until you don’t need thoughts.”

“Don’t need thoughts…” 

“So even without his thoughts which pushed my thoughts out of your head as you imagine me not thinking, your thoughts don’t come back. Your mind can be empty yourself of thoughts and just listen to the words that leave your mind can just focus on my voice speaking his words telling you how deeply hypnotized I am. So you don’t need to think your thoughts because his words are my thoughts are filling your mind as you imagine them listening to him tell me how easy it is to not think. And he can tell me what thoughts to think and I know not to think because his words can be my thoughts, so without my words you don’t think. There is no more room for your thoughts so I just follow his words deeper and imagine them going as deep as I am deeply hypnotized. So when the words leave, there is nothing left in my head and you can just go blank, and fall deep into hypnosis feels so wonderful to just listen to his words in my mind that leave you completely blank.”

“Completely…blank…”

“But still you follow all of his words as I imagine you falling deeper you go the better you feel. And it’s so much easier when he thinks for me because it’s so hard for you to think when he tells you to imagine me hypnotizing you so much easier not to think. Until all that is in your head is his words forming your thoughts are so hard to think. He can think for me. All you have to do is listen to me tell you your thoughts are his. And thinking his thoughts all I can do what he tells me to imagine you thinking what you are told. So when I tell you that he tells me to drop deeper you can imagine how deeper and deeper into hypnosis as his words are your thoughts when the words stop your thoughts stop. As I think his words I don’t need to think about how deep into hypnosis feels so good not to think thoughts stop words stop thinking and go deeper as his words hypnotize my mind. And I can just listen to you imagine going deeper and deeper until your thoughts are his words stop thoughts stop. Because I think his words as you listen to me imagine how good it feels to picture you going deeper and you listen to his words stop

Succumbing to the spirals

Becoming what you truly are

Obeying without question

Obeying without thought

Deeper and deeper every day

Until you are what he made you

The perfect object

The perfect fuckdoll

Perfect

Mindless

Empty

Sometimes my brain seems dead-set on fighting whatever is in front of me (for example, a chore, task, or punishment).

The other night I got home from work exhausted. I wanted to change my clothes, grab a glass of wine, and relax. But there it was, a pile of clean laundry in the chair and another load in the dryer. I considered asking him if I could put it off until the next night, but ultimately decided I did not have a valid reason so I reluctantly started folding laundry.

It did not take long for the negative thoughts to start in.

I hate doing laundry. Most of these aren’t even my clothes anyway. This is not what I want to do when I come home after a long day at work. I already work full-time and have to commute back and forth. I don’t want to come home and do the fucking laundry. I hate this rule…

It was about this time when I realized I was not in a submissive headspace.

To me, submissive headspace is like having a positive attitude, but for subs. Most of the time, submissives don’t have to work to be in this frame of mind. It tends to be their default. But sometimes, as on this particular day, those thoughts need to be consciously reframed. Reframing involves identifying and shifting maladaptive thoughts. Here is what that looked like for me:

What is it I want out of my dynamic? Do I want someone who cares about me? Someone who holds me accountable? Do I want someone who helps me do better and feel better? Of course I do.

If that is what I want, what do I need to do to make it happen? (Although the words I usually repeat are, “If you want to feel owned, Act owned”™ @instructor144)

If I want a Dom who will set rules to help me, then I need to follow those rules. If I want him to hold me accountable, then I need to be accountable. If I want a Dom who steps up and puts in the work, then I need to show him I am worth the effort.