Fay

"You almost kissed me."

༒︎ "We don't talk about home. It makes it harder to keep going."

༒︎ "I've seen enough death to know this isn't over. Not even close."

༒︎ "You keep everyone else's hope alive. Who keeps yours?"

༒︎ "I didn't sign up to be a hero. I signed up to bring my people home."

༒︎ "We lost three people today. Say their names. We always say their names."

༒︎ "I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid to die for nothing."

༒︎ "You have to keep moving. Grief is a luxury we can't afford right now."

༒︎ "I've done things I can't take back. I'd do them all again to keep you alive."

༒︎ "When this is over--if this is over--I don't know who I'll be."

༒︎ "Don't make me promises you can't keep on a battlefield."

༒︎ "The enemy has a face now. That makes everything more complicated."

༒︎ "I stopped counting days. It was making me lose my mind."

༒︎ "You remind me there's something worth surviving for. Don't die on me."

✮ "Stop trying to act tough. You're shaking."

✮ "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

✮ "Hold still--I know it stings, but I have to do this."

✮ "You scared me half to death, you know that?"

✮ "I've got you. You don't have to hold yourself up anymore."

✮ "Just breathe. In and out. I'm right here."

✮ "You're going to need stitches and I swear, if you say you're fine one more time--"

✮ "Don't argue with me right now. Just let me help you."

✮ "I'm not going anywhere, so stop telling me to leave."

✮ "Can you squeeze my hand? I need to know you can hear me."

✮ "You're running a fever on top of everything else. Of course you are."

Disdainful Dialogue Prompts!! #3

⟢ "You're a waste of a perfectly good conversation."

⟢ "I'd explain it, but I don't have that kind of time."

⟢ "The audacity of your mediocrity never ceases to amaze me."

⟢ "You really think you belong here?"

⟢ "I've seen better attempts from children."

⟢ "Please, do us all a favor and be quiet."

⟢ "You're the reason I lose faith in people."

⟢ "Don't flatter yourself into thinking I noticed."

⟢ "Your effort is insulting."

⟢ "I've tolerated you long enough."

⟢ "You're a footnote at best."

⟢ "How refreshing, you've managed to be wrong again."

⟢ "I don't argue with people beneath my level."

⟢ "You're the kind of person others warn you about."

⟢ "Don't make me repeat myself to someone like you."

⟢ "Your ignorance is almost impressive."

⟢ "I'd lower my standards, but you'd still fall short."

⟢ "You're proof that not everyone deserves a second chance."

⟢ "I've given up expecting anything from you."

⟢ "You really don't see how little you matter, do you?"

⟢ "Take your incompetence somewhere else."

⟢ "I've been more moved by paint drying."

I'm going to try it.

First, let me preface this with something very important: you can treat all of this advice as SECOND-DRAFT ADVICE. It is so much easier to rewrite this kind of stuff once you have words on the page. Telling yourself the first draft is totally appropriate and acceptable.

What we’re talking about here are FILTER WORDS (and to some degree verbs of being). Yes, “thought” words are included. But so are “heard, saw, looked, tasted, smelled” etc.—most words having to do with the senses.

This isn’t black and white advice; sometimes you’ll use these words and that’s okay. They’re not WRONG. They’re just weaker. And they’re weaker because they create distance between the reader and the experience of the character.*

If you want your reader to feel like they’re experiencing the story right alongside the character, you want to cut down on filter words.

*This is particularly important with first person and close third POVs. The reader always knows whose eyes they’re seeing through and thoughts they’re privy to. So you don’t need to tell them “I saw X.” Or “I heard X.” Or “I thought Y.” You can just jump into the action/observation as it’s happening.

This is also where you want to pay attention to verbs of being.

you want to pay attention

to verbs of being.

That means that when you read a line like

John saw that the curtains were open.

It immediately takes you OUT of the character's perspective and instead tells you what they experience as a secondhand observation.

You don't have to get fancy or purple with how you rephrase things like this. Not everything needs a ton of breathing room.

You wanna know what's perfectly impactful while keeping a tight POV?

The curtains were open.