Round & Proud

Did you know a papsmear costs $326?

Had it up to here, folks!

This bitch told me she didn’t want kids here, and then broke into her hook-up story from the other night and wanted to gossip all about how big and thick this dude was. I’m just sitting there, mind racing  amile a minute thinking about my kids and my situation, and she shows no sympathy.. brushes me off “oh, no kids here sweety...so the other night!!!” What the fuck.

That’s IT. I am going to help her husband find a woman because he shouldn’t have to put up with this anymore. I have asked her “how would you feel if you were in his place?” she laughed and said “OH HUNNY I WOULD NEVER EVER BE IN HIS PLACE, HE WOULDNT DREAM OF IT.” so any time i ask what would happen if he found a new woman herself, she laughs at me and says “dont worry that will NEVER happen, hes all mine.” She’s absolutely SICK! she just wants to torture this poor man and show how whipped he is.

And today I tried to fill a plan B prescription I got from a while ago just so i’d have it on hand, and I was told my insurance doesn’t cover this for anyone older than 16. K.. so they’ll cover a $700 abortion but not a $50 pill?

I have been so busy lately that I haven’t been able to see my kids for the past two weeks (I see them on the weekend and we do things together with the family) I am not kidding, I have two presentations, need to study for midterms in one of my classes, have tons of math homework, and I have to read a shit ton of chapters. I can tell you more about printers than any human being needs to know.

Anyway, Jamie calls me today (she knows its my “day off”) if you’d call it that, more like catch up with homework, and study my ass off! She says “we need to talk blah blah.” I shoot down to her house, have two pumpkin swirl iced coffees from Dunks (I’m the best SIL yet she treats me like SHIT) and I say “whats up?” thinking we’re cool.

She says “You weren’t here to see ““ for two weeks, this is problematic and emotionally damaging, and I talked to your mother and you never saw Chantel either.” She stopped talking so I guess that’s where I was supposed to supply my explanation. I began to tell her about my classes and the work demands from them all.. hello, i am a full time student. I AM GOING TO SCHOOL TO BETTER OUR LIVES. I WILL HAVE A CAREER WHEN THIS IS OVER AND MY CHILDREN WILL FINALLY KNOW PEACE. ok. They will have good lives when this is done, until then sacrifices need to be made, JFC. I also don’t even need to go into my living situation at the moment, Fuck her. She then has the gull to ask me to sign over my rights to her and her brother, because I “clearly have no interest in my son’s life.” I took back her coffee and I stormed out of there and told her to fuck herself and flipped her off all the way back to the car. I drove it to my mom’s and i said the fuck is this shit you stupid bitch. She said Jamie was concerned, and said she had no interest in taking custody of my sweet baby girl and she said to me maybe its for the best if you sign over your rights to your brother, he has been thriving since moving in. Fuck them. I told her fuck you, and if you want your car take a cab and come and get it, bitch. She turned around and went back inside.

Hi anon, this is a sensitive topic and I wasn’t sure if I should answer it, but because in order to change my future I have to accept and acknowledge my past, I will.

Yes, looking back it was crazy… insane.. but at the time I was so IN the moment of it all, completely engulfed and entrenched in this guy and the situation. I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t feel alone and empty inside, but I know now that a man cannot fill it, and I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own dignity to get a man’s love and respect.. in fact I got the total opposite.

I don’t care to speak about Katie, she is a back stabbing bitch if I can be quite clear and frank on the matter. She and Jim are currently in a relationship and they both continue to spread lies and rumors about me all over social media and to some of my former friends. So you can get a good idea of the kind of person KATIE is, she got ahold of pictures Jim took of me and plastered them all over the fucking internet with my name and location. She signed me up for sex sites, etc.  and she knows damn well I have kids. I know that I go on sites sometimes for booty calls, but I don’t post my face and full name and talk about double anal and orgies. She’s so vindictive, the little pig and Jim deserve each other. I hope they both gets aids.

I do regret treating my brother like an asshole, but at the same time he had no right to lock me out of the garage. He acted like $20 in cans and bottles was his life’s savings, and resorting to immature antics was wrong on his part. Jamie can still be rude to me, but she has lightened up, and I’ve learned to accept her bullshit. I am grateful that they are raising my boy, I just wish my brother wouldn’t continue to speak to me like I’m a petulant child.

I shouldn’t have treated Jamie so poorly before getting to know her, I can say that, but she shouldn’t have called DSS on me and said I was endangering my children. I can’t prove it was her, but it makes too much sense.

Basically I regret all of that part of my life, and I regret bringing the cat out into the woods and freeing him. I think about that cat more than I think about my sex antics with Jim.

I was at the bookstore last week, and since there’s all kinds of hype surrounding the pumpkin latte, I decided to see for myself. First of all, this thing is like 7 bucks, or $5.58 if my memory serves me. I opted for the iced version, and was dismayed heavily once putting the straw to my lips and sucking the liquid SHIT into my mouth. It was like this lukewarm milk with a hint of coffee and ass. They put what appeared to be nutmeg or maybe pumpkin pie spice on top, which did nothing at all for it except give it this chalky earth aftertaste. I was so sickened, how is this popular???

To remedy my fatal error, I booked it to Dunkin Donuts and got myself an iced pumpkin swirl coffee with cream and no sugar. *heaven* and about $4 cheaper than the pumpkin atrocity from Starbucks.

I am starting to dread the weekends, as soon as she’s out the door, if he’s been drinking, he hounds me for details about what she’s told me etc.

I wish they’d just get divorced already.

I got my period this week, finally.. Heaviest it’s been since I was in my teens. No pad, not even super could hold it all, and I leaked several times. Once upon standing to go to the bathroom, and I felt the thick blood running down the back of my leg, and it got on the bathroom floor, all over the toilet seat.. Fucking nightmare. I jumped in the shower to clean myself properly. Lucky for me I had a night class on that day and didn’t have to worry about soaking through while it was at its heaviest.

I finished a pretty big research paper for one of my classes this morning, so relieved. I learned how to use a USB stick in my computer workshop class, so cool. I wish I would have known about these years ago when I left an ex of mine and all my songs and pictures on his computer.