“Alright, first off: despite my need to knock James up, he’s not a woman. Second off: he’s far less diseased than you given your body count and how much you love to brag about all the people you’ve slept with. You can bully me all you want, attack me, abuse me. Whatever. Leave James out of it or you will be turned to dust”
“Can everyone just calm the fuck down for a second? I’m not abusing nobody. I literally gave Janet a fucking compliment. I don’t know what’s all the fuss about. Also knocked up……more like knock off because that’s what you are with that useless fucking cape. Go fuck your face.”
Janet? Really? It's genuinely remarkable how loudly you can announce your own low intelligence. It's James. My name is James.
And if anyone here is an imitation, it's the knock-off soldier parading about with all the discipline of a drunken tavern brawler and none of the substance. Positively Neanderthal if you ask me.
“Soldier Boy, I suggest you throw in the towel with this one because you’re not going to win. You’re outnumbered. I have no idea where you pulled the name Janet from besides your asshole. Unless you want to be a vampire’s dinner, best stay in the good books. As for all the other stuff James said, I agree. You Neanderthal!”
“Ok so is Jamie the one with the pants in this relationship? Cus’ you’re just repeating everything that she fuckin’ says. I tried to be nice and look where it’s fucking gotten me. Fuck you Jamie, you fucking bitch.”@ashortdropandasuddenstop
“That is quite enough! All of you.”
A ghostly voice booms and an apparition forms rather suddenly, then turns toward Soldier boy.
“Boy, I appreciate the lesson you believe you are imparting, but you are only succeeding in making my son more obstinate. There are other ways of reaching him. "
Then James, ignoring Homelander all together for the moment
“And James… must you disappoint me as you so often do? I taught you better than this. Better posture. Better restraint. Better taste, if such a thing can be said to exist in you at all. But this is hardly acceptable. A public squabble dressed up as wit to defend some American swine at risk of your own honor as an Englishman? Compose yourself this instant! You are making an exhibition of your poor judgment.”
“For the last time—it’s he. Not she. Not whatever other insult you’ve dragged up from that hollow excuse you call a-”
—but then it happens.
The voice.
The familiar in a way that makes him go still.
It shouldn’t be possible. It can’t be possible.
His posture, so carefully maintained moments ago, falters in an instant. Shoulders drawing in before he even realizes it, like muscle memory has betrayed him. The confidence drains out of his frame as if someone has opened a drain beneath him.
His eyes widen.
No snark follows. No immediate retort. No cutting reply for Soldier Boy.
Nothing.
Because he knows that voice.
“…No.”
It’s barely audible. His gaze drops for the first time in the entire exchange, as if looking anywhere else might make the voice less real. Less present. Less there.
And for once, James Norrington doesn’t have anything to say.
“Can someone please tell me what the FUCK is going on here?”
Homelander merely sighed at the apparition, not even acting remotely surprised. If anything, this seemed normal.
He glanced over at Soldier Boy before explaining. “Father, allow me to introduce you to my father-in-law. From beyond the grave it seems.” He commented with a tilt of his head, not the remote surprised.
“You thought Supes were as weird as it gets? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. But hey, Casper over here hates his son too. That’s something you both can bond over.”
The apparition’s gaze lingers on James a moment with a faint shake of the head. “Centuries have passed, and you still fold at the slightest hint of authority. It's truly a wonder you ever made admiral.”
Then his attention shifts to Soldier Boy. “At least you are not soft. Crude, yes. Ill-mannered perhaps... but not soft.” A slight tilt of the head, almost dismissive.
“Additionally, I could no longer idly stand by and watch this child talk back to it's elder. ” he stares directly at Homelander as he says this. " In my day children learned to respect their parents. You ought to try disciplining him more often."
Homelander rolled his eyes and shook his head, scoffing in disgust. “Your words mean nothing. A terrible father has no business telling another how to treat their child. I know all about you. You’re damned lucky you’re a ghost, that’s for sure. Now kindly fuck off. This is a matter for the living. Y’know, the ones still relevant and not worn food.”
A glance to Soldier Boy "To you perhaps.. his childish ways make him very much still a child in my eyes. But, very well. In my day, a man who forgot his place was reminded of it. Publicly, if necessary. Stripped of rank. Made to stand before his peers and account for himself until whatever arrogance possessed him was worn down to something resembling order.”
A faint tilt of the head.
“ The removal of privilege until obedience ceases to be optional. You need not lay a hand on him to achieve it. Confinement and isolation, let him think about what is expected of him. Like my son he demands attention, no attention no reward. ”
Then his attention cuts back to James. “Don't speak of survival as though it were an achievement.” A faint, humorless breath. “You have always survived, endured and persisted and yet you have never once excelled.”
His gaze narrows in disappointment.
“Even now you still chase approval in all the wrong places and confusing attachment with strength. I expected more of you.”
Finally, his attention returns to Homelander—dismissive, unimpressed.
“As for you—”A slight narrowing of his eyes.“ You know nothing of me beyond what my cowardly whelp of an heir has allowed you to believe. Yet without my tutelage he would not have achieved even a fraction .”
Then a faint, cutting emphasis “What you possess is frankly hearsay.” He regards him for a moment longer.“ And poorly informed hearsay at that.”
