you gotta read, you gotta write, you gotta draw, you gotta watch films and shows. there is literally NO time to be employed

sorry for the mixed signals I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing mostly

feeling unwanted changes u a lot, tbh

feeling unwanted 🤝 feeling unloved

if you're reading this I hope you're okay

the party scene in Obsession is objectively very tense and awkward and uncomfortable. but to me, it’s made so much more upsetting by the fact that Nikki was clearly popular and well-loved. when Bear looks at her social media towards the start of the film, we see she has 2k+ likes on a post. in general, she seems to have a very sociable personality and is fun to be around. so for her to have to experience a different version of herself completing sabotaging the connections she’s built - and embarrassing her in front of all these people - must be so harrowing. even if she did regain control of her body before things got fatal, she still wouldn’t be able to return to a normal life. at the very least, not the same life she’d had. not knowing that so many people witnessed such an unnatural outburst - unaware that it was out of her control - that almost definitely altered their perception of her, permanently

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here