Fat Dog Hates You

Needing some serious fresh air, Pig dries off in the scorching hot sunlight. #dogsofinstgram #fatdoghatesyou #dognamedpig #poolparty #hateswater #immelting #whataworld

Gently add the butter... *heavy breathing intensifies*

What kind of shit is this? I was told I’d be receiving complimentary champagne and caviar. I’m never using Uber Black again.

I’m going to burn your house down for making me wear this. You know pink is not my color, bitch.

Who knows what evil lies in the farts of men... FAT DOG KNOWS! MUAHAHAHAHA

I’ve been dreaming of arson and homicide so please continue to take pictures of me sleeping, assholes.

Bitch, are you aware it's like 80 degrees outside? Why don't you wear the sweater that makes you look like a damn naked mole rat fumbling around to find a dick in the dark.

Just keep watching your damn @midnight. It's the only reason I love you. At least you're not that smug affable dipshit on the tv.

This is the worst day ever.

I'm supposed to be a baked potato. I actually feel fucking regal in this fucking thing. Way to happen upon some unintentional genius, ya schmucks. 

Got my fucking drink. Got my fucking beach body. All that's left is for you to fucking leave. 

This necklace better be fucking real. I am a classy fucking dog, you cheap bastards.

I hate Superman.