※ “I GOT DRUNK AT SEMI-FORMAL”: a sentence starter ※
we had our sorority’s semi-formal last night, and i was definitely not sober. all of these sentences are things that i said. feel free to change names/pronouns/cities/etc.!
“Oh, we’re starting now? We’re drinking already?”
“That is a lot for one shot.”
“I’m small, okay? It doesn’t take a lot for me to get drunk. And I haven’t had a sip of alcohol in six months.”
“I hate how I’m in heels and you’re in slippers and you’re still taller than me.”
“Yeah, these are five or six inch heels. Hell if I know.”
“It’s ya depth perception!”
“Do people actually like downtown here? It’s so small and… small.”
“Okay, wow, your lipstick is 12/10, what is that?”
“Wow, your eyeshadow is amazing, I love that, what is it?”
“I just want to let you know that I love you and that you’re amazing.”
“Is the Uber here yet? Have we called the Uber?”
“All my friends are there already. They’re all texting me like, hey, where are you? And I’m like, I’m on my way. But that’s a lie, the Uber isn’t even here yet.”
“Are we gonna get there on time? We have until 10, and it’s… it’s 9:17.”
“I don’t know what a Kia Sonata looks like.”
“That is what a Kia Sonata looks like.”
“Boys are stupid, and I love you.”
“I’m just livin my best life.”
“Okay, I’m really drunk… gimme another sip.”
“Can I have a sip of that?”
“What is that? What’s your drink?”
“No, I don’t like sour, pass, thank you.”
“I’ve already had two drinks, but, like, how much does another cost?”
“Thank you Williammmmmm.”
“I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t know what to do with these $2. I don’t have pockets, I’m in a dress. I’ll just… I’ll put it in my bra.”
“I age. I aged yesterday. My birthday was yesterday.”
“I have this much left, and I’m gonna finish it.”
“My best friend of fifteen years forgot my birthday, okay? I’m getting fucked up.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, but, like, you do. And it would be fucked if he forgot your birthday, right? Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling right now.”
“Where’s a boy? I need to make out with someone.”
“You’re getting into semi, now shut ya mouth.”
“When I’m drunk I sound half like me and half like an old Jewish grandma from New York.”
“You’re beautiful, boys suck, I love you.”
“Wow, I love sisterhood, I love being in a sorority, you’re beautiful, I love you.”
“Fuck yeah I didn’t take off my heels.”
“Pizza sounds fucking amazing right now.”
“What do you mean there’s a postgame?”
“You expect me to drink more alcohol?”
“I want pizza, I want ice cream…”
“I think we should listen to My Heart Will Go On.”
“You’re my responsibility, now shut ya mouth.”
“I don’t know whose popcorn this is, but I’m eating it.”
“You’re right to drink water and not want to throw up tonight.”
“That dress does a really great job of covering up your terrible sunburn.”
“Wow, look how gorgeous all of my friends are.”
“Hey, reminder that you’re amazing and I love you.”
“Her date is really fucking attractive.”
“Is he her date or her boyfriend?”
“Is my lipstick still on?”
“No, no, you don’t have butthole lips, just call it ombre lips.”
“You promise me my lipstick is still on?”
“In my defense, I haven’t had alcohol for four months. Five. It’s been since July, at my cousin’s wedding. Is that four months or five?”
“I haven’t been drunk since semi last year.”
“All in all, it was a good night.”
“Now I’m gonna go to bed and hope I don’t wake up with a hangover tomorrow.”
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