Khristina Marie Harris

An old friend blocked me again to bad... Gosh all I want to do is talk to you.

A old friend unblocked me and sent me a message then deleted it. Wonder what he wanted?

Maybe I am the problem. If I was dead then maybe nobody would have to deal with the problem. I can't do this anymore...

Might be single we will see when he wakes up. I such a fuck up.

I wish I was normal. I wish I had a normal childhood. I'm so tired of life. I'm tired of people. Nobody around me sees how much I'm drowning. I quit my job because I couldn't handle work and my relationship. Which was dumb because now Im stuck temporarily. Not for long because once I'm off my feet I'm gone. I'm tired of getting lied to, I'm tired of how we can treat each other. I love him but we both have to many unhealed wounds to be together. I'm tired of him using my crying and sensitive against me. The only person I regret dating is him. Why can't see if that I'm giving him his own energy back to him. If he doesn't want me to treat him a certain why Maybe he shouldn't treat me that way. He not a bad man just deeply wounded, hurt, misunderstood. Maybe I love people unconditionally because I never got that growing up. I wish I was cold hearted but I can't be.

Gosh a fresh start alone somewhere new would be nice. I'm done with people

My life is good and I can't complain. I'm happy most days. Sometimes I wish I was normal and didn't have a toxic childhood. I'm just so tired and nobody sees it. I miss my mom and just want to be with her.

Dont get me wrong I love my boyfriend and he is a good persom or maybe the words are can be a good person. He definitely has a dark side to him. I know it should scare me and maybe to a small degree it does but overall im not really scared of him. I love the sweet caring side but that dark side of his can be bad. I don't think he would ever leave me. I mean he should im mean ass he'll to him. I know I could leave if I wanted to but it would literally be extremely hard. He already had told me we are never breaking up. He is a good man who has seen alot of traumatic things and experienced them. I just wish he would go get help and fix whatever is bothering him. I just need a safe space to vent. Thank you tumblr.

Im a happy girl now

Im sitting here by the bike trail in hopes I will see you but I know I won't. I hate this. I feel so lost without you.

I dont think anyone understands how broken I really am right now. Im tired of missing him and thinking of him. I never actually knew what love was till him. Its like we were cut from the same cloth. The love I have for him is real and it hurts. I wish I could just stop loving him and move on so easy. No one is him. I tired dating but I would rather being single if I can never have him again. I will never give my heart to another soul...

Why do I miss him so much? I truly just want to move on. I try so hard to get him off my mind. I try to stay busy but at night when it's quiet there he is. Im tired of pretending im happy when im sad and heartbroken on the inside. This feels more like a death then a break up. Almost two months without him! I know its for the best for both of us. I just wish him happiness, peace,and love. Maybe one day my heart will feel less broken but for not a sit in this pain. This is my karma. I miss my sweet man!😭

No one knows how bad I just wish it would end

Just realizing I never actually got over kyler so instead of moving on from paul I'm also moving on from kyler. I shouldn't have started something with someone when I wasn't fully over another. Its okay because I'll get over them both. Really trying 😪