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pop pop muhfucca

one of my biggest fears is that one day I will be standing in front of a microwave waiting for my hot pocket to heat up and my microwave will suddenly explode, impaling me instantly with shrapnel

apparently this is more relatable than I thought holy shit

modern brain: hehe warm food medieval brain: magic hot box will kill me if i dont kill it first

A little louder

Yes. Thank you.

We liked different music but the same movies. You ate the chocolate side of the cookie I never wanted even though you didn’t like it either. You were late to dinner on our anniversary and I never let you live it down. You were always hot and I was always cold and I hated the way you did your hair on the weekend. We had fun but when we weren’t having fun we were fighting. I’m lucky I met you and I’m lucky I left you.

The sweeter you treat her, the nastier she’ll be for you

my kink is when ppl actually care abt my feelings & what I have to say

too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us