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@faradragoste
Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPERATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.”
Oh my god.
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imagine falling in love with someone & they genuinely fall in love with you too
what a concept
Dying rn
@butterynutjob
He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.
While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).
Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts.
No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).
The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.
Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t.
I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.
“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”
So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??
Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂
I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.
I..am..idk
And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.
dooooo your boobs float high
do they wobble toward the sky
can you not help but obsess
on your face-invading chest
can you cup them in your hands
and bounce them like a marching band
do your boobs. float. high.
I think I love you, @randaness
I’m crying 😂😂😂
And I’m pretty sure men obsess about their dicks way more than women obsess about their breasts…
This is too much 😂😂😂😂
I almost spit my coke 😂😂😂😂
GUY YOU LOST ME AT “Men don’t obsess about their genitals” LMFAOOOOOO
If men don’t obsess about their genitals, then why are dick pics and drawing dicks on literally everything so popular?
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valentine’s day is tomorrow! make sure you eat plenty of hearts to ensure a bountiful harvest this year!
do your part! eat those hearts!
Low key can’t wait to be married and have babies.
(via faradragoste)
My life - my personality, my habits, even my speech - is a combination of the books I choose to read, the people I choose to listen to, and the thoughts I choose to tolerate in my mind…
Andy Andrews (via quotemadness)
What's wrong with grandpa??
he lied in bed for thirty years or whatever the fuck. while his daughter struggled to put food on the table. but then!!!! ohhh then! charlie gets a golden ticket and all the sudden that jackalope is hopping around the shack like he’s fuckin simone biles. i hate him i hate that free loader i hope he busts a hip and falls into the chocolate river
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Low key can’t wait to be married and have babies.
(via faradragoste)
I've gotten a lot more outspoken when it comes to political and social issues so here it is for today: You all treated this election like a joke. HARAMBE GOT OVER 10,000 VOTES. What the fuck is wrong with you people? If you're going to protest vote at least educate yourselves and protest vote for a third party candidate. This election was fueled by hate, xenophobia, and misogyny. This election was won with hate and ignorance. I am disheartened, disgusted, and scared for our future if this excuse for a human was able to be elected to be PRESIDENT. It's not funny, it's not a joke. This is OUR country. These are OUR lives that are going to be affected. Yes, checks and balances exist. Yes, he can't make unruly, wild decisions on his own. But things will change. The country will change. To those of you who think differently, I'm sorry you can't open your eyes to the truth. I'm sorry for everyone that voted for Trump. I'm sorry for all the hate in your heart and that you live a life that makes you think he will do right by our country. I'm sorry that this is what this country has come to. But I am more sorry for my friends who are minorities. My friends who are a part of the LGBTQ family. My friends who are women. My family. I'm so sorry that this is now the world we will live in.
Guess who just got laid.
Not me. Probably someone just not me
Make her pussy wet not her eyes.
Make his dick hard not his life
Break her bed not her heart
play with her boobs not her feelings
Get on his dick not his nerves.
always salt your pasta while boiling it
Low key can’t wait to be married and have babies.
(via faradragoste)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
if you die in ohio, you die in real life
It’s tru tho?
@lunar-pen BUT ATLEAST WE AREN’T GOING TO DIE IN OHIO
I need to get out of Ohio.
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