Fourth Wing Imagines

All you knew was that one second, you were watching. The next, your blade was in Alic’s shoulder. 

The look he gave you, that fury, that disbelief, you’d never forget it. You had no doubt in your mind that he would have killed you right then if not for two things happening. 

First, the man you’d just saved, moving faster than you expected, wrapping an arm around your waist and yanking you sideways into his body. 

Turns out, he wasn’t unconscious. 

The second thing, the thing that truly shattered everything, was Xaden Riorson appearing out of nowhere, bloodied and bruised, and slicing your brother’s throat right in front of you. So close the spray of blood hit your face. 

Xaden Riorson . . . Fen Riorson’s son. If - If he was here, who was Xaden saving because it sure as hell wasn’t - 

You turned your head, breath caught in your chest, and found yourself staring into the eyes of the man still holding you. 

Garrick Tavis.

The realization hit like cold steel. 

Marked ones. You had just helped marked ones kill your brother. 

Oh gods, were they going to kill you now? If they didn’t - Halden was going to. Or your father would and make it look like an accident. Then Cam, the only brother you had worth a damn, was going to be alone, and -

Garrick seemed to sense your rising panic. His arm tightened around your waist, and his voice brushed your ear as he murmured, “We’re not going to hurt you.” 

You shivered. 

“Garrick-” Xaden started, his tone edged with warning.

“She just stabbed her godsdamn brother for me, Xaden. I’m not fucking hurting her.” Garrick snapped.

Xaden turned to you then, like he was really seeing you for the first time. His eyes softened, barely, and he held out his hand. 

You stared at it like there was a blade hidden beneath his palm. 

“Though you clearly have good instincts not trusting me.” Xaden bit his lip, and you thought he might’ve been hiding a smirk. “You saved my best friend, Tauri. I’m not hurting you either.” 

How were you supposed to take the hand of the man who had only ever looked at you like he wished you’d drop dead? 

Garrick’s hold on you tightened. Not threatening, but steady. Reassuring. “I’d help you up, but your asshole brother wrecked my ankle.” 

You looked at the hand in front of you. The hand of someone you were raised to hate. The hand that represented everything you’d been taught to fear and despise. 

And you took it.

Roars cracked through the forest. The ground shuddered beneath your feet as Xaden hauled you upright, and your breath caught as two enormous, terrifying dragons stepped out from between the trees. 

Your eyes were immediately drawn to the one on the left. 

It was a stunning shade of emerald, its scales catching the light like polished stone. Its eyes were locked onto you, piercing, intelligent, assessing. You couldn’t look away. Almost without your brain’s permission, your feet began to move, carrying you toward it like something in you recognized it before you understood why. 

It didn’t flinch. Instead, it gave a huff of impatience, like you weren’t walking fast enough. 

“You are the Princess?” 

You startled. The voice wasn’t spoken, but it rang clearly through your head, imperious and resonant, echoing with command. 

She was speaking in your mind. 

You hesitated. Were you supposed to answer out loud? In your thoughts? 

She snorted, amused. “It does not matter. I can hear either.”

“Yes,” you said aloud, stopping in front of her. Speaking in your head just felt . . . too strange. 

She stared at you for another moment, then lowered her head to yours. For one terrifying second you thought she was going to burn you alive, but instead a gust of hot steam from her nostrils blew your hair back. “You are mine now.”

Your eyes widened. Did she mean what you thought she did? 

“Are you sure this is the one you chose?” Another voice echoed in your mind, this one very clearly male, but more melodic, almost musical in its tone. 

You blinked, turning toward the second dragon. The brown one. He was watching you just as intently. 

But - dragons didn’t talk to other humans, only their chosen ones. 

How could you hear both of them? 

“At least my human is still standing.” She snapped at him, but there wasn’t any malice behind it. It almost felt . . . playful? 

The other dragon made a growling noise, his eyes moving past you to Garrick. “He will rise. He is strong.” 

You turned just in time to see Garrick shove off Xaden’s offered hand. Gritting his teeth, he pushed himself upright, favoring one leg but steady on the other. Then his eyes landed on the brown dragon, and they went wide with disbelief. 

“As I said. Strong.” The dragon’s voice rumbled with pride. “Come here, Garrick Tavis.” 

Garrick didn’t hesitate. 

It took him a few moments, but he limped over to join the three of you, stopping once he stood beside you. He shot you a bewildered look, but you had no idea what to say. What could you say?

“We have chosen you two as our Riders.” Your dragon said, her voice like steel wrapped in fire. “You will not disappoint us.” 

Garrick inhaled sharply and glanced toward her. The realization hit you at the same time it seemed to hit him. He could hear her too. Just like you could hear his. 

“Beathas is my mate,” Garrick’s dragon growled, his tone low and unmistakably threatening. “It means you will protect her rider like she has already done for you.” 

Mates. Oh Gods, your dragon and Garrick’s dragon were mates. That meant - 

Your dragon, Beathas you now knew, turned her great emerald head toward you. “Yes, Princess. You two are now bound, and you must continue to protect him as you already have.” 

Your eyes snapped to Garrick’s He was already looking at you, shock written across his face. 

In that moment, the truth settled over you both like a shroud. 

You were tethered now. Bound by your dragons. Linked until death pulled you apart. 

A princess and a marked one. 

—-----------------

For weeks, every day after that felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

You kept bracing for someone to strike, convinced that word would leak out about your involvement in Alic’s death, but . . . nothing happened. Of course everyone found out about you and Garrick’s dragons, but other than that, there wasn’t a word. It seemed that Xaden had taken the fall willingly. Publicly, he claimed responsibility for the kill and made no attempt to hide it. 

Why? Why protect you when he could have made you the number one target in the quadrant? You had no idea. 

But slowly, days passed, and you started to breathe easier than you had in years. 

You learned that you and Garrick were able to talk to each other in your minds as well as your dragons, and he turned out to be a welcome presence. The more you got to know him, the more thankful you were that your dragons were bonded. He eased your anxiety. He made you smile, even laugh, something you felt like you hadn’t done in so long it felt foreign. The two of you started spending more time together, even more so when a training exercise gone wrong killed half your squad, and you got reassigned to his and Xaden’s squad. 

Getting to know Garrick however meant you got to know the rest of them, and while there was obviously some trepidation, Garrick brought you into the fold like you were any other rider and not the Princess of Navarre. 

Then there was Xaden Riorson. 

Somehow, saving Garrick’s life had earned his respect. He didn’t look at you like he wanted you dead anymore. Now his eyes watched, measured, and gods help you, teased.

You might even call him a friend. 

Then Reunification Day arrived. 

You were a mess of nerves and tension, and you were terrified the smallest thing was going to make you snap. You didn’t want to go. It was the first time you’d be setting your eyes on not only your other brother, but your father, in months. You’d been informed by the General earlier that he’d be coming. You knew they’d have questions, and they weren’t ones you were ready to answer. You also didn’t know if they knew about your and Garrick’s dragons, and you definitely didn’t want to have that conversation. 

It didn’t help that Garrick and Xaden had been uncharacteristically silent over the past couple of days. 

You missed them. 

“There is an easy way to fix that problem.” Beathas’s voice echoed down your bond, warm and amused. 

“I don’t think I can fix that problem.” You told her, smoothing down your rider issued skirt with shaking hands. “Not when it was my family that caused it.” 

You could almost see her tilting her head at you, even across the bond. “Do you truly believe after these past few months they hold you responsible for what happened to their parents?” 

They should. You deserved every bit of their anger. Of their silence. 

You heard her scoff. “Do you need Chradh to reassure you of his rider’s feelings towards you?” There was a knowing edge to her voice, a lilt that sounded suspiciously close to a smirk. 

“I don’t have time for this right now. Promise you won’t mourn too long if my father or Halden kills me?” The joke tasted bitter, even to you. 

Her growl rumbled through your mind, her voice downright menacing this time. “They will never get the chance.” 

Something in her voice settled the knot in your chest just a little. 

And, gods help you . . . you believed her. 

You took one last look in the mirror, and headed out of your door to meet your fate. 

There were people everywhere. You couldn’t walk a few steps forward without bumping into someone’s shoulders and apologizing. Which of course made their eyes widen and then profusely apologize to their “princess”. You fought the urge to roll your eyes every time. 

Finally, you managed to find a small alcove, faintly lit by the mage lights. It wasn’t private by any means, but it gave you enough space to breathe and enjoy the drink in your hands. For the first time in days, you let your mind drift to that garden where all your bonds were housed. The emerald one with Beathas, the dark brown one that connected you to Chradh, and the gold one, lined with amber, that was Garrick’s. It was strong, so you knew he was near, and you found yourself looking in the crowd for him even though you were sure you were the last person he wanted to see. 

“Well, if it isn’t my sister.” 

The voice sent a trail of ice down your spine, along with the fingers he dug hard into your shoulders with familiar cruelty. You didn’t turn to face him though, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. 

“I’m surprised you showed your face honestly.” Halden continued, voice low and venomous. “After you let our brother die.” He hissed the next words in your ears. 

Shivers crawled down your back, and you felt yourself shrinking, curling inward. The strong, steady woman you had become since threshing began to fade beneath the weight of old patterns. Halden’s grip would leave bruises. His anger always did. 

“That is not who you are anymore.” Beathas’s voice snapped through the fog, sharp and wild and blazing with fire. “You are brave, and you are strong. Stronger than him. If you do not like his hands on you, make him let you go.” 

Her power surged in your chest, steady and warm, like standing beside a living bonfire. She was right. Halden may be in the infantry, might be more physically strong and a better fighter, but now, you had something he would never have. 

A dragon. 

You opened that door to Beathas’s power, barely an inch, just enough to let your shoulders heat, not harming you, but enough for him to feel it. 

Halden yelped and jerked his hands away, swearing under his breath. 

You turned in your chair, heat blazing in your eyes as you glared at him. “Remember that the next time you think about putting your hands on me, Halden. Or Cam for that matter.” You told him, your voice calm but deadly. 

Pride roared down the bond. 

His eyes were dark, full of a familiar fury that normally would have made you cringe away, but with Beathas’s silent support, not anymore. “I know you had something to do with Alic. Riorson might take the credit, but I know you played a part.” He hissed the next words, “and I’ll never forgive you for it.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, and startled slightly as something smooth brushed against your ankle. You glanced down, and the softest smile formed on your lips as you glimpsed a shadow wrapping around your calf, a silent show of support from a man hidden in the crowd. You looked back up at Halden, feeling stronger than you ever had in your life. “I can live with that.” You told him.

Before Halden could respond, a new voice rang out, rich and booming. 

“Ah, my children found each other!” 

You swallowed, but you refused to let the fear creep in as your father approached. Xaden’s shadow tightened protectively around your leg, and you took a subtle breath, letting it ground you. You plastered a smile on your face as he approached. “Hey, dad.” 

You had expected him to take one look at you and give you the same disappointed look he always had. Your father had never had any problem expressing his displeasure at the few choices you’d been allowed to make. 

Instead, your mouth almost dropped as he gave you a blinding smile, leaning forward to press an affectionate kiss against your cheek. “You look lovely, darling. Strong.”

Your stomach twisted. Who was this man and what had he done with your father? 

You forced a smile, slightly unsure. “Thank you.” You said, ignoring the way Halden was practically burning a hole in your side with his glare. 

Your father studied you, head tilting slightly. The smile still sat on his lips, but now his gaze was sharp and calculating. “I never would have thought you had it in you, you know?” 

You blinked, your smile faltering. “Had what in me?” 

Your father’s smile widened. “It was a smart move, but how did you manage to make a specific dragon bond with you?” 

Fury exploded down the bond, and you felt Beathas’s growl almost vibrating in your skull at the implication. She was outraged, and so were you. He knew better. Anyone with half a brain did. “I didn’t. She chose me.” You said, offended. 

He frowned for a heartbeat before the pleasant mask slid back into place. “Just luck then. Well, I can’t think of a better way for you to keep an eye on those marked ones than by having a dragon mated to one of theirs.” 

You froze. 

The shadow wrapped around your leg vanished in a heartbeat, slipping away before you could even take a breath. You followed it, and your heart leapt into your throat as your eyes caught on the two last people you wanted to hear that. 

Garrick’s expression made something in your chest crack. Not confusion, not even anger. It was betrayal. He took a step back. Then another. You wanted to shout after him. He knew you. He had to know that you would never - 

But did he? 

He tore his gaze away and snuck off into the night, and when you went to his arch in the garden of your mind, you found a wall of gold, blocking you out. Your hand stroked it, soft and gentle, but it did not give. 

“I will speak with him.” Chradh’s warm voice spoke in your mind. “Beathas and I know where your loyalties lie.”

You swallowed, turning your gaze over to Xaden as your thoughts drifted. When did your loyalties change? Was it the moment you stepped between Garrick and Alic? When the marked ones looked at you with wary kindness instead of open hatred? Or had it been earlier still? When you overheard your father discussing the wyvern and decided you couldn’t sit by another moment without doing something about it? When you had decided you couldn’t let the rest of the continent feel as helpless as you did trapped in that castle? 

Xaden’s eyes widened, almost as if he could hear your thoughts, and he vanished into the darkness after Garrick. 

Your father hadn’t seemed to notice your distraction, but Halden’s gaze was knowing . . . too knowing. 

“I’m proud of your cunning, daughter.” He pressed another kiss to the top of your head. “Keep us informed.” 

He left you then, Halden following with a smirk. 

Little did they know that was the last thing you would ever do. 

At that moment, you decided you didn’t want to wait anymore for Chradh to talk to Garrick. You needed to find him, explain to him that you had no loyalty to your family. Your loyalty was to him, to Xaden . . . to the people who’d helped you become someone you could finally be proud of. 

You took off in the direction you had seen them disappear, but you’d barely made it around the building when a strong arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into the shadows. “You need to give him space to calm down.” Xaden’s voice whispered in your ear. 

Your breath caught. 

You turned to face him, braced for the cold fury you remembered from your first months in Basgaith. The piercing look like you were something rotten under his boot. What you found there instead was softness and concern. You still had to say it. You needed to say it. “Xaden I swear, I haven’t said a word. I never will. I’m done with my family, no matter what my father seems to think.” The words tumbled out too fast, breathless, afraid he wouldn’t let you finish. 

But he didn’t interrupt. 

When you stopped, he simply held your gaze.

“I know.” 

You froze for a second, thinking you must have misheard him, but after a couple of moments you realized you hadn’t. “You believe me?” You asked, your eyes wide in disbelief. 

A smirk curved his lips, so familiar, but gentler than it used to be. “I do. You’ve never given me a reason not to.” His arm, that you had forgotten was wrapped around you, gave you a little squeeze. “You’ve made your intentions pretty clear.” 

You didn’t know what to say. You had expected Xaden to be the hardest one to convince, but he hadn’t. He’d just . . . believed you. 

“Give Garrick an hour,” he said gently. “He’ll realize he’s not thinking straight.” 

You nodded, trying to keep your emotions from leaking through, even as a shiver ran down your spine. His arm slid off your waist, his hand dragging slow and deliberate across your back . . . pausing at your hip, a whisper of pressure before it dropped away. 

“I’m going to check on the others. Everyone’s on edge.” 

You watched him turn to leave, your thoughts a mess of confusion and something else you didn’t want to name. 

Then he turned around, and you were even more shocked to see an actual smile on his face. “By the way, good job putting your brother in his place. It’s nice to see a little fire in you.” 

A laugh slipped from your lips, unbidden, because you knew he intended that double meaning. 

His smile widened like he’d meant for that to happen. Then he vanished into the shadows, leaving you standing in the dark, unsure of what to feel . . . 

It was about thirty minutes later when the gold warmth of Garrick’s bond wrapped around your mind again, gentle as a hand reaching out in the dark. 

“Will it make you feel better if I call myself an idiot or if I let you do it?” His voice was sheepish and familiar and utterly him. 

You couldn’t help but smile. “Neither, but a hug would help.” You told him. 

There was an immediate knock at your door. 

You barely even had the chance to open it. Garrick stepped forward at once and wrapped his arms around you in a hug so tight you struggled to catch a breath. 

You wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. 

You wrapped your arms tighter around him, something inside you finally loosening. His apology was everything you needed. 

And in that moment, with your heart steady against his, you weren’t thinking about what came next. 

You knew you were exactly where you needed to be. 

—-----------------

 Okay, so you might be a little drunk. 

To be fair, when Garrick had handed you the bottle he did warn you that it was strong. 

You just hadn’t listened. You had never had more than a couple of glasses of wine at dinner before, and you had every right to celebrate right now. 

You survived. You’d made it through your first year of Basgaith with only minimal scarring and just a little major trauma. Part of you had wondered from the beginning if you were going to make it this far, and you could now say that you did. 

You were proud of yourself. 

You leaned your head back against the wall, letting the warm buzz settle through your limbs. The stars above looked a little blurry, but that only made them prettier. 

You glanced at Garrick, still lounging beside you, laughing at something someone across the fire had said. Gods, you were grateful for him. Every time he’d made you laugh when you thought you were about to cry. Every shoulder he gave when you did. Every time he reminded you that you weren’t just surviving, you were fighting. As terrifying and haunting the memory of your brother’s death was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to regret it. 

It led you here.

“Well, look who it is.” Garrick said with his signature smile as a large shadow loomed over you. 

You glanced up and your smile turned into a full grin as Xaden settled down next to you. “Thought you didn’t do parties, squad leader?” You teased, nudging his shoulder. 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I was bored,” he said, accepting the drink Garrick handed him, but his eyes never left yours. “You clearly are not.” 

“This is my first time being drunk.” You told him with a pout, leaning back on your hands. “Let me live.” 

A ghost of his smile curved his mouth, gone as fast as it came. “Far be it from me to deny you an adult experience, Princess.” 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, but a smile tugged at your lips anyway. Then you felt it, that familiar brush. 

His shadow curled slowly around your thigh, like it was testing your skin for warmth. 

You inhaled, suddenly aware of just how close he was sitting. 

“I’m going to go get another drink.” Garrick said, rising to his feet. He smiled at you, but there was something too polished about it. “You’re cut off.” 

You scowled. “Buzzkill. You just want to go hit on Natalie.” 

An emotion passed through his face, but it was so quick your brain didn’t have the chance to interpret it. “Hey, kill two birds with one stone.” Garrick said, giving a tight shrug. “We’ve got the next few days off. Might as well find someone to enjoy it with.” He turned before you could respond, disappearing into the dark. 

That stung more than it should have. 

Instead of focusing on it, you turned your attention back to Xaden. “I don’t suppose I could sweet talk you into getting me another drink?” 

Xaden shook his head, “If Garrick’s cutting you off, it’s for a good reason.” 

Yeah, they were probably right. Didn’t mean you had to like it though. 

You looked down, distracted as Xaden’s shadow tightened around your thigh, like a hand that didn’t want to let go. “Why do you always do that?” You asked, voice quiet. “With your shadows?” 

He didn’t answer at first. Just watched you with that unreadable stare you were still learning to translate. Xaden Riorson didn’t offer information freely. But this time, he surprised you. “I thought the flirting was obvious.” 

You blinked. 

Wait. What? 

You must have misheard him. “You’ve been flirting?” 

He gave a small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in that frustratingly smug way. 

“With me?” You repeated, more incredulous than before. 

“You’re really making me question my flirting skills right now, Princess.” Xaden shifted to face you fully, amusement dancing behind those dark eyes. 

Heat flooded your cheeks. Xaden could be sharp, even cruel, but he wasn’t that cruel. If he said he’d been flirting . . . he meant it. 

You fumbled for something to say. “You should. You’re terrible at it. I still think you hate me at least half the time.” 

“Half?” His voice dipped lower, and your breath caught as he leaned the slightest bit closer to you. “Your percentage is off.” 

Were you leaning closer to? You definitely were, but who could blame you? Xaden’s eyes could draw in the tides from the moon. “Oh? Is it seventy-five percent?” You murmured. 

Xaden’s nose brushed yours and you forgot how to breathe all together. “More like twenty-five.” 

Then, Xaden Riorson closed the distance between the two of you, and kissed you. 

He tasted like mint and something darker underneath. His hand cupped your jaw with the kind of confidence you’d only ever associated with a man who knew exactly what he wanted, and that was you. 

You hadn’t expected it. Not really. Not from him. 

But what shocked you more was that you didn’t pull away. You let yourself lean in. Let yourself feel it. 

And gods could he kiss. 

Not in the earth-shattering, lose your mind way you might’ve imagined your first real kiss at Basgaith might feel, but it was firm. Heated. Certain. Like this wasn’t new for him, and like he wanted it to be something new for you. 

By the time he pulled away, you were breathless and maybe just a little obsessed with the taste of him. Your hands were fisted in his shirt, and you didn’t even remember moving them. 

“So, does my kissing make up for my terrible flirting skills?” He asked, his voice low and a little smug. 

You shook your head, fighting a grin as you gave him a light shove. “Maybe twenty-five percent of it.” 

Xaden didn’t go far. He tugged you back against him until you were nestled against his side. “Guess you’ll just have to help me practice that then.” He murmured near your ear, one of his hands sliding around your back to hold you close. 

It was . . . nice. 

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had held you like this. Like they wanted you close. Like they weren’t afraid to be seen doing it. 

And Xaden, gods, he was warm, solid. Safe in a way you hadn’t realized you’d been craving. 

You rested your head on his shoulder, placing your own hand on his knee and giving it a squeeze. “I think that can be arranged.” You whispered, heat flooding your cheeks as you felt him press a sweet kiss to the top of your head. 

Your eyes flickered back across the circle to collide with Garrick’s. 

His jaw was tense. Eyes unreadable. 

But as soon as he saw you watching, his expression shifted. Softened. The tightness eased from his shoulders. He didn’t look away. A breath later, his presence wrapped gently around your mind. “You want this, sweetheart?” His voice, quiet and steady, echoed in your thoughts. 

Xaden’s hand continued its slow path along your spine. You curled closer without meaning to. 

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice smaller in your own head. “I think I do.”

You watched as Garrick’s shoulders dropped with the weight of your words. A small smile curved his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I can’t think of a better person for you.” 

And for a moment, you hated how much it sounded like a goodbye. 

—-----------------

You were surprised how easy it was. How naturally you slipped into a relationship with Xaden Riorson like the two of you had been in one all along. There wasn’t much of a shift between friendship and something more. There was just an ache of awareness. You started looking for him in every room, waiting for the whisper of his shadows to brush against your skin, craving his kisses like a secret. 

Yet, even in that closeness, a space started to grow, small at first. Easy to ignore until you couldn’t anymore. 

You started to realize how often Xaden Riorson disappeared. 

As second years, you now had weekends off. It was a perk that you’d been looking forward to, along with finally being able to write Cam, and something that you thought you’d be enjoying with Xaden. Except almost every weekend, you’d never been able to find him. When you asked him about it, he shrugged you off and suggested you hadn’t been looking for him in the right places. 

At first, you didn’t let it bother you. After all, whenever the two of you made official plans, he was always there, occasionally late, but there. You told yourself not to be suspicious. You had no real reason to be, but your mind kept turning, piecing together moments you hadn’t thought twice about before. They left gaps. 

Then something else clicked. Garrick was always gone around the same time Xaden was. You’d never tracked his whereabouts before, something you could easily do with your bond, but now you realized he vanished almost exactly when Xaden did. 

You’d bet all the money in the Tauri vault that they were doing something together, and it was so far away you couldn’t feel him when they were gone. The silence unsettled you. When the bond went dark, it felt like someone had ripped a vital thread from inside you. You hated how empty it made you feel, how vulnerable.

You were determined to figure out why. 

It was a weekend now, and the bond had lit up again, informing you of Garrick’s return without a word from your dragon. You let it guide you towards him, something your dragons had taught you how to do, citing that it would be an advantage in battle. You had to admit it was helpful now as you traveled down the steps of your dorm, following the path of gold. 

Until two infantry cadets stepped in your way, blocking you from moving further. 

Your heart leapt into your throat. There was only one reason infantry cadets would be in the Rider’s Quadrant, and your suspicions were confirmed when Halden made his appearance, jaw clenched and eyes cold. 

“You know, I always knew you were weak, but I never realized how easily you’d spread your legs for a traitor.” He said, but you noticed he didn’t take a step towards you, to touch you. 

While his presence had your heart racing, you knew you couldn’t show an ounce of fear or anger. He’d just use it to his advantage. “At least I didn’t have to sleep my way to a passing mark. Please tell me Violet Sorrengail kicked you in the balls when she caught you.” 

Yeah, maybe he heard about you and Xaden, but you’d heard about him too. 

His jaw tensed, and you could see the battle in his eyes to keep calm. Something he’d never been good at, but it seemed your warning from last time held. “Do you really think the traitor’s son sees you as anything more than a way to get close to this family?” He finally took a step forward, but you refused to yield any ground. “As soon as he has what he needs, he’s tossing you to the wolves, and our father will have your head.” 

It took everything in you not to flinch, not to show Halden how many times you’d actually considered that possibility only to be told by Beathas that it would never happen. 

“And my answer remains the same,” her voice spoke in your mind, always watching, always providing support. “He’s testing your armor, brave one. Searching for a crack. Do not give him one.” 

She was right. 

Instead of answering his question, you raised your eyebrows at him. “And what is it he wants to know, Halden?” You let your finger drag over one of the handles of the dagger strapped to your chest. It was a special dagger that your father had given you as a parting present before you left for Basgaith. 

You knew what it did. 

Just like you knew Halden had a matching one strapped to his chest. 

His smirk was vicious. A viper waiting to strike. “This is a warning, sister.” He hissed. “I won’t let you jeopardize my crown with your pathetic attachments.” He spat the last word like poison. “I’ll end them, if I have to.” 

“Because that worked out so well for Alic.” You snapped. 

You hadn’t meant to say it, but it slipped out before you could stop it. Halden’s answering smirk made your stomach twist. 

“The difference is, I always get what I want.” 

Beathas’s growl echoed in your mind as Halden walked away, nodding for the cadets to follow him. 

You stood there for a moment, trying to calm your heart even as panic threatened your mind. “Did he just imply that he would destroy Garrick and Xaden?” You asked Beathas, making sure you hadn’t been the only one to hear the veiled threat. 

“If I ever see your brother I will flay him alive.” The rage in her voice coiled around you, hot and unforgiving.

You took that as a yes. 

You had to find Garrick and Xaden, now, before Halden made good on his threat.

It didn’t take long for the gold thread of your bond to pull you across the courtyard and down a narrow corridor - 

Right to the weapons inventory?

“You have to tell her. I hate lying to her.” Garrick snapped, his voice sharper than you’d ever heard it. 

“Do you think I like it either? Fuck Garrick this isn’t just black and white” From the exasperation in Xaden’s voice, you had the feeling this wasn’t the first time they’d had this argument. 

“It is. She’s your fucking girlfriend man. She deserves to know where you are. Where we are.” 

You. They were talking about you. 

“Do you trust her?” 

Your breath caught. Did he?

“Of course I trust her, or I wouldn’t be in a relationship with her.” Xaden hissed back at him. 

Your heartbeat settled a little. 

“Then you better tell her, or I will.” Garrick said, and your heart stuttered again at his words. You never would have thought he cared for you enough to go up against his best friend from pretty much birth. 

“He cares for you deeply, Princess. More than you know.” Beathas’s voice curled softly down the bond. 

“I don’t think you’ll have to, considering she’s on the stairs eavesdropping on this whole conversation.” Xaden interrupted your thoughts. 

What? How the hell did he . . . Your eyes followed a shadow, gliding across the last few stairs and slipping around the corner like a wisp of smoke. You followed it to find Garrick and Xaden staring at you. Xaden’s face was carefully composed into a blank mask, meanwhile Garrick couldn’t hide the guilt in his. “Is it still eavesdropping when the conversation is about you?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“What are you doing here?” Garrick asked, but the second your brows lifted, realization dawned across his face. “You followed the bond.” 

“I was coming to find you, and then I got accosted by my brother -”

Xaden stepped closer, his face turning concerned, “Halden? Did he touch you?” but you put a hand up to stop him from getting any closer. 

“No. He threatened the two of you. Implied that he was going to end both of you if he had to, so of course I came to find you immediately.” Your eyes flicked to Garrick, sharp as a blade. “Because I don’t keep secrets from the people I care about.” 

Guilt darkened Garrick’s expression, and for a moment, you hated the way your heart twisted for him. He hadn’t deserved the jab. He was the one trying to pull Xaden toward honesty.

But hurt didn’t care about fairness. 

Then you looked over at Xaden. His face was a wall, every trace of concern wiped clean, replaced by that infuriating, unreadable mask. “Good to know that you trust me enough to sleep in my bed at night, but not enough to trust me with your whereabouts.” When his face didn’t change, and he didn’t move a muscle, you let out a scoff deciding that you had more than enough. 

You turned on your heel, anger burning in your chest, but you didn’t make it far. A band of shadow slid around your waist, velvet soft and unmistakably firm. You froze. 

“Xaden Riorson,” you growled, not bothering to hide the fire in your voice. “I swear -”

“Garrick, give us a minute.” Xaden said, stepping towards you. 

“I think I’ll stay,” Garrick said quietly, but firmly. “Unless she tells me to go.”  

Xaden’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t take his eyes off of you. “Apparently my best friend needs to hear it from you, Princess.” His voice was low. Controlled. But his shadows were already coiling tighter. 

You let yourself sink into the bond for a moment, speaking to him where Xaden couldn’t hear. “It’s fine, Gar. You might want to go check and make sure none of Halden’s guards followed me anyway.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked, and you glanced over at him to find him looking at you, his shoulders set stubbornly. He would stay, you realized. Even if Xaden told him to go, he would stay for you if you wanted. That simple truth sent a warmth blooming in your chest, steadying you.

“I’m sure,” You said, even though it was a lie. 

When he was gone, you turned your attention back to Xaden, and he dropped his shadow from you. You held his gaze, but his eyes dropped to the dagger at your chest. The one your father had given you. He tapped it with his finger once, then looked back up at you. “Do you know why that dagger is different from your others?” 

You swallowed, but nodded. You knew what that dagger did, and what it killed. 

Did Xaden? 

“We’re making more of them,” he said, pulling out a dagger from his own belt, one made of the same alloy. “And giving them to Poromiel.” 

The words hit like a blow to the chest. Your heartbeat stuttered, then pounded so violently it was all you could hear. 

They weren’t just flying under the radar. They were smuggling classified weapons. 

They were committing treason. 

Gods what the hell were they thinking? If they got themselves caught, there wasn’t even anything you could do to help them. Xaden would be killed. Garrick would follow. 

You wanted to scream at him. For being reckless. For dragging Garrick into this. For making you care so godsdamned much about someone who clearly didn’t care about his own life. But yelling wouldn’t change him. You knew that. You’d always known that. The only thing that could possibly protect them from getting caught was . . . 

You. 

You knew exactly what your brother would watch for. You’d grown up learning your father’s tactics. How he hunted, how he punished. If they started to close in, maybe you could misdirect them. Maybe you could draw their gaze somewhere else. If you couldn’t save Xaden and Garrick after they got caught . . . maybe you could stop it from happening at all. 

“You have to let me help.” 

Xaden’s eyes flashed dangerously. “No.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do you have any idea how much help I could be for this? I know all the ways they could possibly catch you-”

“And your brother is clearly out to get you,” Xaden interrupted. “Which makes you a target.” 

“So what, I’m supposed to hide while you and Garrick get yourselves killed?” You shot back.

He didn’t flinch, but his eyes darkened.

. . . You hated that he had a point. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, you didn’t take your eyes off him. “I can handle my brother. I think I’ve proved that several times now.” 

Xaden’s face softened the slightest bit, and you couldn’t help but melt a little yourself as he cupped your cheek. “I know you can, but you know what he has access to. He can have you followed all the time. It’s easy for Garrick and I to slip away. Not you.” 

Once again, you hated that he was right. With Xaden’s shadows and Garrick’s second signet . . . they could disappear in moments. You didn’t have that luxury. All you’d wanted since the moment you stepped into the Rider’s Quadrant was to matter. To help. And here was the opportunity, right in front of you. A way to do something that counted. Yet, you were helpless. 

Again.

Left out of the decision making from the two people you had learned to trust most in the world. Your boyfriend. Your best friend. 

You took a step back from him, shaking your head. “You still should have told me.” 

“I should have, or Garrick should have?” Xaden asked, raising his eyebrows. 

You had to fight back the urge to roll your eyes. “My boyfriend,” You shoved him lightly in the chest. “Who trusts me should have. Don’t try to blame other people for your mistakes, Xaden Riorson. It’s beneath you.” 

A flash of regret crossed his face before it was back to the stoic expression you knew. 

“And don’t bother coming to my room tonight.” You stepped back. “Wouldn’t want Halden catching you in the act of caring.” You said, and then turned on your heel, leaving him behind in the dark room. 

You’d barely made it outside when a large form came out from the shadows, startling you for a moment before you realized who it was. “I wanted to tell you.” 

You let out a sigh, but kept walking. “I know you did. I heard that part. Doesn’t mean I can’t be pissed at you.” 

Garrick fell into step beside you, putting his hands in his pockets. “You can be pissed at me, but Xaden . . . he was trying to protect you in his own fucked up way.” 

A laugh left your lips, but there was no humor in it. “You’re right, it was fucked up, and I’m not in the mood to listen to you defend him right now.” 

Garrick didn’t say anything for a moment, but kept pace with you all the way to your room. Once you put your hand on the door knob, you felt his presence wrap around your mind. “I’m sorry. I should have told you about this a long time ago. Before you and Xaden even became a thing.” 

Funny, how Garrick always managed to find the words. Even when it hurt. Even when Xaden didn’t. 

You turned back to face him after opening your door. “Listen, I’m pissed off. I get why you didn’t tell me. Doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.” You took a step inside your room. “So just give me that time to be pissed off, and leave me alone until I can stop being hurt about it.” 

Garrick looked stricken once more at your words. “I swear I wasn’t trying to hurt -”

“Please, Garrick. I need time.” Your voice was soft, pleading, despite the anger still sizzling in your veins.

After a heartbeat he nodded, even though it seemed like the last thing he wanted to do. 

You shut the door on him, but couldn’t bring yourself to block him out completely with the bond. Instead, you turned to your dragon’s emerald bond. Beathas had been uncharacteristically quiet during that whole interaction, and it didn’t take a scribe to know why. “That goes for you too. I know you can’t tell me your mate’s secrets, but I don’t like being kept in the dark.” 

Beathas’s voice was warm when she responded, not judging your anger at all. “I understand, Princess, but know this. If Chradh, his rider, or I had any choice in the matter, you would have been told long before now.”  

You believed her.

But the ache didn’t go anywhere. 

—-----------------

Your feet hurt, your stomach growled, and you were sweating like you’d just gone five rounds on the sparring mat. 

At five a.m., someone had dragged you out of bed and tossed a bag over your head. Next thing you know you were in the middle of a grassy field with Garrick and two infantry cadets for company. There Professor Grady had told you that your squad had been split up into three parts, and your job was to find each other. 

In the middle of the forest. With nothing but a map. 

You were miserable, but honestly it wasn't different from most days lately.

It had just become harder to tell whether it was the training or everything else making you feel this way. 

Glancing over the map again, your eyes kept drifting to Garrick. Gods, you missed him. You hadn’t shut the bond. Not once, but he’d never tried to talk to you through it either. You couldn’t blame him for that. After all, he was only giving you what you asked for. 

You’d never realized how woven into your life he was, until he wasn’t anymore. 

“Why do you constantly avoid all the easy ways to fix your problems?” 

Yeah, your silent treatment with Beathas had lasted a grand total of about six hours. 

“I’m still mad at him. At both of them.” Even if that anger had dulled into something more like disappointment. Or loneliness. Or maybe just stubborn pride. 

You hadn’t spoken to Xaden either. He wasn’t one to show his emotions, so you weren’t surprised that he hadn’t done anything to show that he missed you. You had caught him glancing at you on more than one occasion though. Not to mention the stray shadow you’d seen lingering a little closer than natural. You didn’t know what was worse. That he was still watching, or that you wanted him to. 

“It’s been two weeks. Would you please just put my rider out of his misery? The amount of ridiculous plans I’ve had to listen to about getting you to forgive him-”

“Chradh!” Beathas chided her mate. 

Chradh didn’t often speak to you, but it was almost always a pleasure when he did. 

As if Garrick could sense you were talking about him, those hazel eyes shifted to you, and he gave you a tentative smile when he caught you looking. 

You returned it, but quickly turned your eyes back to your map. 

You could’ve sworn you heard Chradh groan, long suffering and dramatic. Dragon patience only went so far. 

You tried to refocus on the map, but land navigation had never been your strong suit. Translating paper to terrain was a special kind of hell. 

It would help if the infantry cadets would do anything besides sneaking glances at you and whispering to each other. It was almost like they were waiting for something. 

“You’re holding the map upside down.” 

You looked up. Garrick stood in front of you, that tentative smile tugging at his lips as he gently reached out and rotated the map. Your fingers brushed, and you pulled your hand back, ignoring the warmth that followed. “I knew it was supposed to be like that.” You muttered, even though the heat rising in your face betrayed you. 

He raised his eyebrows, but one of those dimples threatened to appear with his smile. “So you were just trying to get us lost for fun?” 

You shrugged, “Someone should enjoy this. Amari knows they’re not.” You said, nodding your head over to the other cadets who were now glaring at you. 

He hesitated. Then, like sunlight through clouds, you felt the amber warmth of him wrap around your mind. It almost made you sigh in relief. Finally, he was here.  “I miss you.” 

You couldn’t lie to him. Not when he was looking at you like that. Like he’d give anything to earn your forgiveness. “I miss you too.” You whispered down the bond. “Both of you.” 

Garrick swallowed hard, his smile dimming at your words, but he didn’t pull away. “Xaden’s been irritatingly grumpy while you’ve been ignoring us too.” 

You raised your brow at him. “How is that any different than normal?” Your tone was teasing, but you couldn’t help but be a little relieved to learn that Xaden wasn’t as fine with your fight as he appeared. 

“If you’re not willing to forgive me yet, at least talk to him? For my sake?” Garrick pleaded. 

It struck you again, Garrick’s quiet, infuriating compassion. Even now, when you hadn’t spoken in weeks, he wanted you to talk to Xaden. Even if it meant you still ignored him. 

You really hoped that Xaden realized what an amazing best friend he had. 

“I’ll consider it.” You answered softly down the bond, reaching out to squeeze his forearm. 

He didn’t say anything. He just smiled, and it almost made you want to forgive him on the spot. 

“So that’s it?” one of the cadets snapped, yanking you and Garrick out of the quiet bubble you’d slipped into. “You got us lost?” 

You opened your mouth to respond, pissed that you were getting blamed, when Garrick spoke before you could. 

“It’s not her fault. We’re supposed to be working together, and all you’ve done is stand there, stare at her, and whisper like cowards. What’s your problem?” 

So you weren’t the only one who noticed their staring either. 

But they didn’t flinch. Didn’t back down. If anything, they looked relieved. Like this was the moment they’d been waiting for. 

You watched with wide eyes, as the two started pulling out their weapons from their sheaths, the one on the left pulling out two small daggers while the one on the right pulled out a longsword. “Oh, we don’t have a problem,” the one with the longsword said, voice like ice. “We have a mission.” 

Your stomach dropped. 

Oh gods. Halden. What the hell had he done?

The one on the left bared his teeth. “This is for Alic.” His eyes burned with nothing but fury and hate. 

Then they lunged. 

You didn’t think. You moved. Training took over. You were just close enough to Beathas to speak to her, but not close enough to draw power. You were sure it was the same for Garrick. You knew this would have to be a combat situation. You drew your daggers in a single heartbeat, dropped into a roll beneath his swing, and slashed at his ankles.

He jumped before you could make contact, turning around and charging towards you again. 

It took everything in you not to glance toward Garrick. Not to check if he was bleeding, breathing, still standing. But the bond between you pulsed, steady and alive. That had to be enough. You knew how good of a fighter he was. He could handle this. 

You could handle this too. 

You shut out everything, even Beathas shouting down your bond that she and Chradh were on their way, and focused entirely on your attacker. You studied the angle of his swings, the way he moved. He was stronger, but slower. His swings were wild, more strength than skill. 

You could work with that. 

You stayed close. Low. Fast. You let him do all the work, knowing that as time passed, he’d only get more frustrated and slower. That’s when you could strike. 

Just like Xaden had taught you. 

Gods you hoped you lived long enough to tell him thank you. 

A grunt of pain cracked through your focus. Garrick’s. 

You looked. His sword was gone, flung to the dirt. His attacker had cornered him. 

Panic seized you. 

Not Garrick. Please, not him. Anyone but Garrick. 

You didn’t have time to come up with a plan, to go through all the options. Your opponent was stumbling towards you after you’d made a painful cut across his calf, but Garrick was more important. “GARRICK!” You threw down the bond. 

He turned just in time to catch the dagger you flung his way.

You had a single heartbeat of relief. 

Then pain exploded. 

Your other dagger went flying as your hand bent the wrong way under the force of a brutal kick. 

You were pretty sure something snapped. 

You didn’t scream. Couldn’t. Pain could wait. Survival couldn’t. 

You dropped fast, clawing for the dagger with your good hand. Your fingers grazed cold metal - 

Then he was on you. 

His weight crushed you. Your hand was pinned between your bodies, and pain burst down your arm as he grabbed your hair and slammed your head toward the dirt. 

White light invaded behind your eyes. Everything blurred, until you saw the dagger glinting above you, catching the sunlight. Your attacker raised it overhead, both hands gripping the hilt. “Goodbye, marked fucker.” He spat. 

Beathas roared. 

Garrick screamed your name. 

But you moved first. 

The silver dagger was already in your hand, and you drove it into his side. 

He stared at the wound like he couldn’t believe it. You yanked the blade free and drove it in again. 

And again. 

And again. 

You didn’t stop. Couldn’t. Even as tears blurred your vision. Even as he dropped the knife and collapsed on top of you, dead. 

Your mind still screamed: danger! 

You didn’t even hear Garrick’s repeated yell of your name until he tore the cadet’s body off of you and pulled you into his arms. 

The knife fell from your hand the second his arms wrapped around you. 

You grabbed his shirt instead, bloody and torn, and held on like it was the only thing keeping you from drowning.  

In a way, it was. 

A moment ago, your mind was screaming, danger. Now, it whispered something else. 

Safe. 

 You shattered. 

Every moment of terror you shoved aside came crashing down. Garrick cornered. The horror, the rage, the disbelief that your brother had set you both up to die. Sobs tore through you as you buried your face in his chest, repeating how sorry you were over and over. This was your fault. Once again, Garrick had almost been killed due to the actions from someone in your family. 

How many more would it take before he abandoned you? 

The thought made you cling harder, as if holding tight enough could keep him here. As if you could anchor him with just your hands. 

Garrick didn’t let go. Not for a second. He shushed you softly, and you could feel his heart pounding against your ear. His breath was shaky as he pressed his face into your hair. He rocked you gently, arms so tight around you that you knew you’d have bruises. 

You didn’t care. 

“I thought he had you.” Garrick whispered, his voice raw. “Gods I thought he had you.” He choked.

“I thought he had you too,” you cried, clutching at him with your good hand. If you could have pressed yourself entirely into him, you would have. Just to feel, to know that he was still breathing. When he’d been cornered, you’d let yourself imagine it. A world without Garrick. 

Empty. 

Garrick leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours, using one of his hands to brush your tears away, and then he cupped your cheek.

You leaned to his touch without thinking, drawn to him like gravity. His hazel eyes held yours. You couldn’t look away. You didn’t want to.

He said your name so softly, so gently, as if he spoke it too loudly it would startle the trees. “I can’t -”

A frantic yell broke through the trees behind you. Wild, panicked, shattered. 

Xaden. 

Oh gods. What if they’d gone after him too?

“Xaden!” You screamed, tearing yourself from Garrick’s arms and sprinting toward the sound of his voice right as he broke through the trees. 

His shadows caught you first, slipping around you in that silken way you’d come to love. A breath later, his arms wrapped around you, trembling. The tears came again, sharper this time, as he pressed his lips to your head and slid a hand into your hair, holding you tight against his chest. “It’s okay,” he whispered into your hair. “I’ve got you.” 

You let him hold you, closed your eyes, and breathed him in until the sobs finally faded. Then, slowly, you turned your head, finding him in an instant. 

Garrick. 

The look on his face, so raw, so wrecked, tore something deep inside you open. 

—-----------------

When they arrived at the weapons inventory, you were already there, waiting. 

Xaden dropped his empty bag at the door with a dull thud and barely looked at you before turning to Garrick. “I assume this is your doing.” 

Garrick didn’t flinch. “I told you. I’m done keeping this from her.” He told him, not an ounce of regret in his tone. 

“Thank you,” you whispered softly down your bond with him. Then you turned to your boyfriend, your voice firm. “We have to talk.” 

Garrick gave your shoulder a final squeeze before slipping out, the silence he left behind louder than the storm in your chest. 

“Guess it’s too much to hope for a, ‘glad you’re still alive kiss’?” Xaden asked, voice light, but eyes still watching you too closely. 

Until that day in the woods, that might’ve been what would have happened. You would have eventually forgiven Xaden for keeping this from you. The two of you would have gone back to normal. You would have given him a bright smile, thrown your arms around his neck and let him kiss you and fuck you until you couldn’t think. 

Then your brother tried to kill you. 

Now all you could think about was fighting back. 

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing, Xaden. There has to be something I can do.” Your voice cracked, half plea, half defiance. 

He was shaking his head before you could even finish. “You can’t.” 

“Yes I can!” You protested. “I want to help! I want to feel like I’m doing something!” 

“Do you want to help?” Xaden stepped forward, towering over you. “Or do you want revenge?” 

The words struck like a slap. You flinched before you could stop yourself. 

You felt his cool shadows against your skin, tilting your chin up so you had to look into his dark eyes. “I don’t hold it against you. I’m not sure I won’t kill him outright after what he did to you and Garrick if I ever see him.” 

He was partially right. You knew that. There was a small, dark, part of you that craved revenge for your sake and Garrick’s against your brother. 

But it wasn’t everything. It wasn’t the most important part. 

“This is why I joined the Rider’s Quadrant, Xaden.” You tried to reason with him. “I wanted to get out of that prison of a castle and help the helpless. You can help me do that. It’s all I wanted -”

“You’re being selfish.” 

Of all the things that you had expected him to say, that hadn’t even crossed your mind. 

“There’s more at play other than what you want.” Xaden said, his voice hard, final. “You don’t even realize what you’re asking when you say you want to help.” 

You stiffened. “Do you really think I don’t get what’s at stake?” 

“No, you don’t.” He interrupted sharply. “There are still things you don’t know about that are more important than either one of us -”  

“So tell me!” You didn’t care if you were begging anymore. He had to see it. You know he did. The way his secrets were ripping the two of you apart. “Stop being so self sacrificial and let me help you -!”

Xaden grabbed your shoulders, startling you. “You’ve seen the scars on my back.” He said, quieter now. “Every one stands for a marked one.” 

Your eyes widened at the revelation. You had known they were a product of his father’s rebellion, but you hadn’t known what they were for. “Xaden . . .” You said softly. 

“If I let you into this, it’s not just me. It’s not just Garrick. If you’re caught, if your brother, or father drags you into interrogation, it won’t stop with you. You’ll die, yes, but so will every single marked one I’ve fought to protect.” He let that hang between you. “Is that a weight you really want to carry?” 

His words didn’t just land. They cut. Deep. You’d been dating Xaden for almost a year now, and you had no idea the responsibility that was on his shoulders. Tears started heating your eyes, and you swallowed to try and keep them at bay as he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. 

His voice softened, shadows coiling faintly as his arms came around you again, like the moment could still be salvaged if he just held you tightly enough. “I care about you so fucking much, but I won’t risk all of them for you.” 

Those words? They were the ones that hurt the most. 

Because you couldn’t even be angry. Not when he was right.

—-----------------

It was cold. Colder than it should’ve been for October, and you cursed yourself for not bringing your jacket. You hadn’t been thinking about it, or anything at all really. In the moment, all you were concerned with was getting out. 

Today, your cracked relationship with Xaden Riorson split wide open when his dragon’s mate bonded with none other than your brother’s ex-girlfriend. 

Violet Sorrengail. 

It wouldn’t have hurt so bad if you hadn’t already seen the chemistry building. The way their eyes lit when they looked at each other. The way she loved fighting with him, verbal or physical. The way he gave it right back to her like it was giving him life. The little sparring match they had on the mat the other day confirmed it. There were sparks. Sparks that you and Xaden hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Maybe not ever. 

You shivered, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself as you leaned against the stone wall, closing your eyes, doing everything you could not to let the tears fall. 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.” 

You weren’t even surprised Garrick had found you. He always knew when you were hurting. “I feel like it does.” Your voice was barely louder than the wind. 

He sat down beside you, and next thing you knew, your flight jacket was wrapped around your shoulders. 

He had gotten it for you. Without even being asked. 

“Our dragons are mated.” He said, as he settled in beside you, so close that the warmth from his side began to cut through the chill. “That didn’t stop you from falling for Xaden. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean he’s falling for Sorrengail.” 

You glanced at him, tugging your jacket tighter around yourself like it could shield you from more than just the cold. “Garrick, you can’t pretend you haven’t noticed the tension. Everyone in the damn wing has. Newhall has been giving me pitying looks for weeks.” You murmured. 

When you shivered again, Garrick wrapped his arm around your shoulder, holding you close to his side. “Well, first off, fuck her, and second of all, fuck all of them.” 

You couldn’t help but smile a little at the utter conviction with which he spoke. 

“Yeah, maybe him and Sorrengail have some tension, but it’s the, ‘I want to kill you’ kind, not the ‘I want to kiss you’ kind.” He reassured you, as his hand started stroking up and down your arm. “And they don’t have what you two have. History, years of knowing each other. It would take a hell of a lot to undo that.” 

A single, traitorous tear slipped down your cheek. “I don’t think it would. A year ago, maybe. Now? It feels like one little storm could rip us apart.” You leaned over, resting your head on Garrick’s shoulder, soaking up his warmth like a balm. “I hate it.” 

“You two are stronger than you think.” He whispered, resting his head on top of yours, pulling you even closer to his side. 

You both sat in silence, just breathing, sinking into each other’s presence like it could hold the pieces of you together. You wished you could borrow Garrick’s optimism, but it felt like you were drunk on the parapet, swaying, already bracing for the inevitable fall. Once it occurred, you wouldn’t have a relationship with him anymore. You weren’t even sure what you could be anymore. He and Garrick had become such huge parts of your life - 

The thought rang throughout your head like two swords clashing together for the first time, and your heart immediately went into overdrive. 

“If I lose Xaden . . .” You hesitated, swallowed. “Do I lose you too?” 

You couldn’t keep the words inside. You had to know. You and Xaden’s relationship ending would be a devastating blow, but Garrick? Your dragons were mated. He was your best friend. Garrick could read you and know what you need in moments without saying a word. He was one of the best parts of your life. 

Him leaving would be like snuffing out the sun. You’d be nothing but a cold, desolate land. 

Garrick didn’t hesitate. He didn’t have to think about it. He answered almost as soon as the words left your lips. “Are you kidding?” Garrick pulled back just enough so that he could look into your eyes. “You’re never getting rid of me, sweetheart. I’d rather chop my own arms off than lose you. And you know I’d do it too.” He said, giving your arm an extra squeeze. 

The warmth in his voice, the steady affection in his eyes, made your heart stutter unevenly. You’d never deserve this man. No matter how much good you did in the world, it would never be enough to earn Garrick in your life. 

Gods help you if you ever lost him. 

You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. This time you were unable to stop the tears as they fell. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Garrick.” You murmured against his skin. “Please . . . don’t ever leave me.” You whispered. 

Garrick kissed the top of your head, his hand slow and steady as it traced up and down your back. “Never.” He replied, his voice thick with emotion. 

You closed your eyes, holding him tighter. Even if the world fell apart tomorrow, even if Xaden walked away, you’d still have this moment. 

You’d still have Garrick. 

—-----------------

You had known it wasn’t going to last, but gods . . . that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

From the moment that Xaden had pulled you aside, you’d known. Maybe it was intuition. Maybe it was the way his eyes wouldn’t quite meet yours, the sadness coiled tight behind them. Maybe it was the way his shadows retreated from your presence. Maybe it was the quiet way he said your name, soft, like it might be the last time.

Or maybe you’d always been waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Xaden Riorson was never meant to be yours forever. 

And now he wasn’t yours at all. 

Still, he’d been decent, even kind. He hadn’t looked smug or relieved to be free of you, to finally be with her. 

Instead, his regret had been real. His sadness had nearly undone you. 

But his words shattered something inside of you.

“It’s Violet isn’t it?” 

He didn’t deny it. “Yes.” 

You hated how collected he was. How gently he said it. “Do you love her?” 

Xaden’s onyx eyes pierced you, but when he finally answered, his voice was soft. “You don’t want me to answer that question.” 

You gave him a bitter smile, even as your world collapsed around you. “You already did.” 

You knew Xaden. He would have admitted it if he didn’t love her. 

In a matter of months, Violet Sorrengail had done what you hadn’t in a year and a half.

She made Xaden Riorson fall in love with her. 

And you never could. 

Gods, what was wrong with you? 

“There is nothing wrong with you, Princess.” Beathas’s voice, more gentle than you’d ever heard, whispered down the bond. 

“I don’t want to talk right now.” You snapped back, more harsh than you wanted to be when she was trying to help you, but she was wrong. There was some part of you that was broken. Something that clearly couldn’t measure up to Violet. 

“That is not true -”

You slammed a wall down on your bond before she could say another word. 

She could break through it if she really wanted to, but you knew that she would respect your privacy. 

For now. 

You had managed to find a quiet spot outside since it was well past curfew, and pressed your back against the wall. You didn’t care if the cool stone chilled your skin as you slid down it. Any sensation other than pain would be welcome at this point. 

You didn’t want to be that person. The one that sobbed uncontrollably when her boyfriend broke up with her. The one that questioned every moment, every fight, that might’ve caused the implosion. 

The one that wondered what she did wrong. 

So much of your life you’d been considered weak, helpless. You couldn’t let Xaden Riorson reduce you to that again. 

But Gods, did it hurt so bad you felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

Your sobs started coming faster, and your hand clutched at your chest, pulling the fabric into your fist as you closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing, but you couldn’t. All you could concentrate on was the hurt, the ripping of your heart to shreds as you walked away from him, and the hurt made breathing harder. 

You were hyperventilating by the time you felt warm hands clasping your cheeks, thumbs brushing lightly under your eyes as if he could erase the tears before they fell. 

“Please . . . go . . . away.” You said, trying to take a gasping breath between each word. You refused to open your eyes. You didn’t need to anyway. You knew who it was, and you didn’t want him to see you like this. 

“No.” Garrick said, his voice soft and oh so tender, a little unsteady. Like seeing you hurt like this hurt him too. 

“Please,” you whispered again, shaking your head to try and dislodge his hands, but his fingers stayed, warm and steady against your skin, as though letting go wasn’t an option. 

He leaned in until his forehead was pressing against yours, and you shivered at the contact. “I’m not leaving you like this.” He opened his mouth like he was about to say something else, but closed it again, his jaw tightening. 

“Xaden-” Gods, even just saying his name felt like talons scraping down your vocal chords. 

“I don’t give a fuck about Xaden right now.” While his words were harsh, his voice was not. “He’s not the one crying.” 

Garrick was right. Xaden wasn’t crying over you like you were him. Why would he? He had Violet. He had gotten everything that he wanted. 

And you were here crying to his best friend, scrambling to hold together the pieces of your shattered heart. “Why?” You finally opened your eyes to look at him, even though he was blurry through your tears. “Why wasn’t I good enough for him?” 

His thumb brushed the tear track on your cheek, slow, deliberate, like he could wipe away the hurt itself. “I don’t know what’s going through his head right now, but I know one thing.” Garrick made sure you were still looking at him before he spoke. “You were good enough for him.” He said, the words firm, but there was a break in his voice he didn’t bother to hide. “More than good enough for him and anyone else you decide to love.” 

The fragile grip you had on the remaining pieces of your heart loosened, and you threw yourself into Garrick’s arms. You sobbed into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, almost as if he could bring back the shattered pieces of your heart if he held you close enough. 

You wished it was possible. 

—-----------------

Your back hit the wall, and your head followed, the thud a dull echo in the quiet hall. You dragged in a slow breath, though it felt like it scraped your lungs raw. The last day had been nothing short of a nightmare. You had fought venin and wyvern, two people died, and watched your ex boyfriend unravel when he almost lost his current girlfriend. 

Oh, and your father had disowned you and, for good measure, tried to have you killed.

You let out another sigh and opened your eyes. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking through the narrow crack in the door. Inside, Xaden sat vigil at Violet’s bedside, shoulders hunched, jaw set, eyes locked on her as if sheer will might bring her back. 

You’d never seen him like that. So out of control. So . . . scared. Even when you and Garrick had almost been killed in the woods, he hadn’t reacted like that. This wasn’t the sharp, controlled Xaden you knew. This was a man terrified. Like losing her would tear something essential from his very soul. 

It hurt. But not in the same way it would have months ago.

No, the sharper ache was seeing the man who used to be your friend, someone you’d once loved, look so utterly lost. 

Before you could second guess yourself, you eased the door open and stepped inside. 

Xaden didn’t look up. 

“Is she going to be okay?” You asked quietly. 

A short nod. 

“Good,” you said, biting your bottom lip, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I just thought I’d check-”

“Why are you here?” His voice was low, but when his eyes finally found yours, the question landed like a blow. 

You didn’t think you’d know how to answer, but surprisingly the words came to your lips without much thought. When it came to feelings, you and Xaden had been honest with each other through all of it. There was no reason it had to be different now. 

“You were my friend first, Xaden.” You said softly. “Before you broke my heart.” You glanced at Violet for a moment, then back at him. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

He stared at you in that familiar, unblinking way, like he was digging through your mind to try and figure out if you were sincere or not. Then his shoulders sagged, and you swore he aged ten years in the space of a breath. “I won’t be okay until she wakes up.” 

You nodded. You could understand that. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Xaden glanced over at Violet, then back at you. “Can you go check on Garrick? He was . . . He was close to Liam too. We all were.” 

Garrick. 

You let your mind slip down that mental pathway, the one neither of you ever bothered to block. The wave hit instantly. Raw grief, jagged and suffocating. It caught in your throat like smoke. 

“I’ll go stay with him.” You promised, stepping toward the door. 

You were nearly in the hall when Xaden’s voice stopped you. “Thank you.” 

You just dipped your head in reply, too many words lodged behind your teeth. 

It didn’t take long to track Garrick down. The bond pulled you unerringly, each step tightening the ache in your chest until you rounded a corner and found him pacing outside the room you’d claimed for yourself. 

“Garrick?” 

His head snapped toward you. Relief, sharp and unmistakable, flashed across his face, softening the hard line of his jaw. 

The healers had tended him, but faint cuts and deep bruises still marked his skin. None of it compared to the exhaustion in his eyes. 

And yet, when he looked at you, something else flickered there too. Something warm. 

He drew in a breath, and the bond pulsed with it, raw, aching, and unguarded. 

“I need you.” 

You didn’t think. Your body reacted before you could overanalyze. Stepping forward, you cupped his bruised cheek, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble there. “I’ve got you.” You whispered. 

Garrick leaned into your hand without hesitation, the movement instinctive, like a man reaching for warmth in the cold. His lashes lowered, his breath hitching against your palm. 

A single tear slid down his cheek. Through the bond, grief pressed against you, heavy and unrelenting, yet beneath it, something else flickered, quick and warm, gone before you could name it. 

You guided him into your room, locking the door behind you as if to keep the rest of the world out. He let you steer him to the bed, silent, pliant, watching you like you were the only thing keeping him steady. With the most gentle touch you could, you helped him out of his boots, and then the straps with all his weapons attached, laying them carefully on the wooden table by your bed. 

After brushing a curl from his forehead, you let your hand rest on his shoulder. “Do you want anything else?” 

He shook his head, but the look he gave you . . . Gods, he was looking at you with so much. It was heavy with things you couldn’t quite read, things that made your chest tighten. Like you were his anchor in a storm he couldn’t see the end of. 

You didn’t flinch from the weight of it. “Okay,” You murmured with a soft smile, before taking a step back.

But his hand shot out, gripping yours, calloused fingers trembling slightly. His eyes, shining, pleading, told you more than words ever could.  

You placed your free hand on top of his, “I’m just going to get out of my leathers. I’ll be right back.” 

Garrick hesitated, then let go, slowly, reluctantly, his fingertips skimming yours until they had no choice but to part. 

You didn’t think you’d ever changed faster in your life, not wanting to leave him alone when hurt still bled through the golden path of his bond. In seconds, you were back, finding Garrick still sitting and waiting for you. 

Giving him another soft smile, you climbed into bed, pulling back the blankets and patting the spot next to you. “Come on,” you said softly. “You don’t need an invitation.” 

For the first time since you’d seen him, Garrick gave you a tiny smile in return. He needed no more convincing, and settled down under the sheets with you. 

You thought it might be weird, being in bed with him. You’d known each other for a long time now, and part of that, you’d been dating his best friend, but you and Garrick’s relationship had always transpassed awkwardness. 

It seemed like the easiest thing in the world to reach for his bicep and tug him over to you because he was already halfway there. His large arms wrapped around your waist, and he buried his face in the spot where your neck and shoulder met, his breath warm against your skin. 

One of your hands drifted to his back, tracing lines and circles on his spine with your fingertips. The other buried in his soft curls like it was second nature, twisting the soft strands around your fingers and massaging the back of his scalp. 

You felt any lingering tension in his body melt away as he tightened his grip around you, and the two of you just laid there like that for several moments, listening to the sound of each other’s breaths. His had become so even, you thought he had fallen asleep. 

But then, his head lifted, and your whole body froze when you felt the softest brush of his lips against your jaw. 

It was barely there, and you weren’t even sure if he’d done it on purpose, but it sent a ripple through you all the same. Heat bloomed under your skin, chasing down your spine. Your leg moved before you could think, hooking around his to keep him close, your fingers tightening in his hair. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, voice low and raw. 

The sincerity in his tone, and the gratitude you felt pouring down the bond, almost knocked the breath from your lungs. You’d never felt someone need you this much. 

“Any time you need me, Garrick Tavis.” You whispered, back. Your words steady even as your heart pounded against his chest. “Any time you need me, I’ll be there.” 

He didn’t answer. But you felt it, the faintest tremor in his arms before his grip on you tightened, like he didn’t quite believe you, but desperately wanted to. 

—-----------------

“Fuck, this tastes horrible.” You coughed, forcing the ale down. “How can you drink this?” 

Garrick was all dimples when he responded, “Not all of us grow up on the finest wines on the continent, Princess.” He took another sip, but even you could spot the slight wince as he did. 

You gasped in outrage, pointing your drink at him accusingly, “You liar! You can’t stand it either!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He took another sip, and winced even harder. 

You let your back rest against the cold stone wall, a smirk on your lips as you reached out to poke his stomach with your toes. “Your pants should be on fire for that, Garrick Tavis.” 

“There’s a few ladies I know that will tell you my pants are on fire, but not because of that.” Garrick made a show of brushing his hair back from his face slowly, sending you a flirty wink. 

A very unlady-like, drunken snort left your lips. “Sounds like something you should get checked out. Not bragging about it.” 

He shook his head, easing his own back against the wall he was resting against. “I can always count on you keeping me humble, sweetheart.” 

You let the cold from the stone wall sink into your skin, a more genuine smile tugging at your lips as you watched him. His cheeks were flushed from the ale, his hair a wild mess from the wind, and his smile . . . gods, it had been too long since you’d seen that smile. One that wasn’t weighed down by grief or duty. 

It made something warm flicker in your chest. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

His tone was teasing, but his eyes didn’t leave yours. For a heartbeat, the easy grin faltered, softened into something quieter. 

You shrugged, the alcohol making honesty feel easy. “I like seeing you so at ease. Haven’t seen it in a while.” 

He continued to look at you, that unreadable look that made it a little harder for you to breathe still in his eyes. “Haven’t seen you like this in a while either.” 

As the memories of the past few months flooded your mind, you looked away, trying not to let them drown you. So much had changed, and you still felt like you were treading water in a storm that refused to calm. 

Xaden had fallen in love with someone else. 

Then you had basically forced Xaden to take you on a mission that ended with you fighting venin and wyvern. A mission that ended not only with you discovering the truth about Aretia, but also death. 

Only to discover that part of that mission had been an attempt by your family to have you killed for not giving them information about what the marked ones had been up to. 

You had known there would be consequences for all the false information and avoided confrontations you had done, you just hadn’t expected them to be that extreme. 

You should have known better. 

But you’d never forget the look on your father’s face when you appeared beside Garrick. Right before your name was called on the death roll. 

Garrick was quiet for a long moment, rolling his mug between his palms. When he finally spoke, his voice was lower, rougher. “I think I owe you an apology.” 

Garrick’s voice startled you out of your memories, and you give him a confused look. “For what? Sneaking us this horrible ale?” 

He shook his head, the smile fading from his lips. “For . . .  gods I don't even know. Everything?” 

You still didn’t understand. “Everything?” 

“With your family. For having to kill your brother because of me. That you now have to keep this huge secret.” He paused, like he didn’t want to say the next words, “If you’d never had to save me, Beathas might not have chosen you. Then everything wouldn’t have happened with Xaden, and you wouldn’t be stuck here forced to watch while he falls in love with some other girl.” 

The sight of Xaden and Violet together still hurt, it probably always would, but it didn’t have the power to hollow you out anymore. 

“If you hadn’t saved me that day . . . maybe your life would’ve been easier.” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “No Garrick Tavis dragging you into rebellions and heartbreak.” 

You couldn’t help but blink at him, sure that you’d misheard. Garrick Tavis, doubting himself? The bond pulsed with guilt and uncertainty, so thick it made your chest ache. 

“Garrick Tavis,” You paused, trying to find the right words. “Do you seriously think that I’ve ever thought for one second that my life would have been better without you in it?” 

He shrugged, dropping his gaze to his hands that he was running up and down his thighs. “Wouldn’t it?” 

It wasn’t often that this side of Garrick showed himself. He was generally confident and sure in everything he did. It was one of the things you admired most about him, knowing you could never be that brave. 

Seeing him like this? So unsure? And knowing that you were inadvertently part of it? 

You hated it, and needed to clear it up immediately. 

“No,” You said quietly. “Actually, my life really fucking sucked before you came along.” 

Those words made him meet your gaze, the smallest spark in his eyes. 

“You’ve shown me friendship. Loyalty.” You hesitated, feeling your heartbeat pick up. “Love.” 

HIs gaze caught yours at that, something unreadable flicking in his eyes. The word hung between you, warm and dangerous. 

“I never really had any of that before, other than with Cam. And I’d do it all again. Over and over. Even though it led to all this.” 

You gestured around you to the cold, filthy walls of Samara. 

“I’d rather be sitting here, drinking shitty ale with you than trapped in that palace with the finest wines and silk sheets any day.” You admitted, something other than the alcohol making your cheeks flush. “Here with you, it’s real.” 

He stared at you for so long you wanted to turn away, but you couldn’t, caught in his gaze like a moth to the flame. “You promise?” Garrick asked at last, his voice low enough to almost disappear between you. 

You gave him a smile, holding your pinky finger out. “I don’t just promise. I swear.” 

Garrick leaned forward, wrapping his much larger, warmer, finger around yours. “I swear to not make you ever regret it.” 

Before you could argue that you never would, no matter what happened, he stole all the breath from your lungs. 

Because Garrick Tavis eased his head down, and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, closing his eyes with reverence as if you were Loial yourself, and he was a pilgrim come to worship. 

Your eyes widened. 

Your stomach flipped, dizzy with butterflies. 

You were almost certain your heart forgot how to beat. 

Gods . . . his lips were soft. 

It wasn’t like before, when he’d kissed your jaw so gently that you weren’t sure if he’d meant to do it at all. No. This was deliberate. 

And left you wonderstruck. 

He opened his eyes, the green a sudden startling contrast against the brown as he looked at you. “Okay?” He asked, his thumb brushing over the spot his lips had just been. 

You nodded before you could think, before you could breathe. 

Because gods help you . . . 

You were very much not okay. 

—-----------------

Either sweat or blood dripped down your forehead. You didn’t have the strength to check. Your skin was burned, inside and out. Around you, the fire you’d raised for protection collapsed into smoke and ash; the ground at your feet bleached to gray. 

The venin advanced with slow, satisfied steps, studying you like a specimen. “I’ll say this for you,” she purred, eyes roaming, “You fight better than the pampered princess I was expecting.” 

“Not a Princess.” You forced the words out, each breath a rasp. Your hand found the hilt at your thigh and shook as you drew the dagger. “I’m a rider.” 

She tsked, and the gray earth crawled closer. “Too bad you’ll be a dead one soon.” 

Images flashed in your mind. Beathas’s gold eyes and appraising expression as you stand in front of your dead brother. Xaden’s reluctant, dangerous grin, illuminated by a fire. Aaric’s tight hug, and the relief you felt when you realized you had at least one family member left that still loved you. 

Garrick. His hazel eyes, and the way his lips had pressed to your knuckles like a benediction. 

Your drew the knife back, ready to throw it with everything you had left, but - 

You never got the chance. 

The warmth that flooded your mind wasn’t fire this time. It was steadier, quieter, amber instead of red, and it sank deep into your bones. You didn’t need to see him to know. You felt him. You fell back against his chest,and his arm wrapped around you, helping to support your exhausted body. 

At that moment, you knew you were safe. 

Your dagger slid from your hand to Garrick’s in one smooth motion. The next heartbeat, it was thrown with not only deadly speed, but accuracy. 

You didn’t have to look to know that it met its mark. 

You turned your head, gazing up into those gorgeous hazel eyes, looking down at you with the same relief that shone in yours. “You didn’t even let me throw it,” you rasped.

His fingers, now free from their weapon, slipped into yours. “You were taking too long.” 

“So sorry. Next time I’ll try to be faster.” You shot back. 

Your breath caught as he turned you around and leaned down, his forehead resting gently against yours. His breath was uneven against your lips, and the world went quiet. The smell of smoke clung to him, but beneath it was that comforting smell you’d recognize anywhere. A scent that was purely him. “I’d really appreciate it.” He held your hand against his chest where you could feel his pounding heart against your fingers. “I’d hate for Beathas to burn me alive for letting her rider die.” 

You shouldn’t have asked. You were terrified of the answer, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “Is that the only reason?” You had to know. Were you overreacting? Were you imagining the looks, the touches - the kisses? 

Did he . . . feel something more for you? 

He hesitated for so long that you thought he wasn’t going to answer. His emotions were so strong you felt them radiating down your bond. The leftover panic, the relief of being reunited safely, but then - there was something else. Something warm and sweet. It wrapped around you like a blanket, soft and comforting. 

“No,” he whispered, his hand flexing on your hip as if he was debating whether to pull you closer or not. “It’s not the only reason.” 

Your heart lurched. Your stomach twisted in knots, and your fingers clenched so tightly around his that your knuckles turned white. While he had been close before, he was suddenly much closer, and your eyes couldn’t help but drift down to his lips. You could still feel the way that they had felt against your skin, and for a moment, just one moment, you wondered how they would feel pressed against yours. 

His breath brushed your lips, close enough that your next exhale mingled with his. The world had gone silent. Everything seemed to hold its breath. One more inch. That’s all it would take. One more inch and you would know. 

Then a dragon’s roar tore through the night. 

It split the air, a sound so fierce it rattled through your bones. You flinched, the spell between you breaking as the ground itself seemed to tremble. 

You didn’t need Beathas to tell you it was Sgaeyl. 

His hand tightened around you, not to pull you closer, but to steady you. For a breath, neither of you moved, the weight of what almost happened hanging between you like smoke. 

“Something’s wrong with Xaden,” he said, and this time the panic in his voice wasn’t for you. 

You nodded, forcing your body to move even as your heart refused to. Because a part of you still felt the ghost of his breath on your lips, even as the night filled with dragons’ cries. 

____________________

Everyone knew that you took early morning runs. It was the one routine you’d never given up, and just because you were at Basgaith helping teach a combat course didn’t mean that was going to stop. 

What you didn’t expect though was to find Violet Sorrengail waiting at the end of the trail. She looked out of place in the dawn mist, nervous, but still holding that quiet determination that always reminded you she’d never really belonged to anyone’s shadow. 

You came to a stop, breathing hard from the run, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. The air between you wasn’t hostile exactly. Just thick with everything that hadn’t been said. Finally, you raised your waterskin, took a long sip, and said evenly. “Can I help you, Sorrengail?” 

Her fingers twisted around the strap of her satchel. “You can actually.” 

You raised your eyebrows. You weren’t sure what surprised you more, that Violet Sorrengail had the nerve to ask you for help, or that you said you’d hear her out. 

Twenty minutes later, you found yourself sitting across from her over breakfast, your mind spinning with all the new information she’d just told you about their last brief mission. “I can’t say I’m surprised by the fact that Halden almost got you all killed.” You said with a shrug. “You know his temper as well as I do.” You looked down at your plate, moving some of the food absentmindedly. 

She nodded, and even though you could feel her eyes on you, you didn’t look up. “He’s going to get himself killed, or us if he keeps going on these missions.” She said, but there was an undercurrent to her voice that had your awareness sparking. 

“Probably,” You admitted, biting your lip, “but you have to have a royal representative right?” You asked, still fiddling with your food even as your anxiety rose. 

It was several heartbeats before she spoke again. “Yes, but . . . it doesn’t have to be him.” 

You froze. 

She couldn’t possibly be thinking of you - 

“If you’re implying what I think you are.” You placed your fork down. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“You think I want to ask you?” She leaned forward and whispered the words so no one else could hear. “I know how awkward it is. But Xaden still listens to you. Even if he won’t admit it. And I know you’re probably the smartest out of all the Tauri children. You’re not going to trigger Xaden like he will.” 

You swallowed thickly as a wave of grief washed over you. Knowing how much Xaden had put at risk for everyone still made you feel sick to your stomach. 

“I understand that you don’t want to be around us, but you’re still our best option -”

Your eyes flashed to hers, irritation flickering in your mind. “Do you really think I’m that shallow?” You snapped at her. “All I’ve cared about for a long time is Xaden’s happiness. Gods, I’ve seen enough of him to know that he deserves it.” 

Violet nodded like the two of you had come to some sort of agreement. “Then you’ll step in as the royal representative?” 

You shook your head in disbelief. “You’re more like Mira every day, do you realize that?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s a terrible idea. My family is already pissed at me. Both my father and Halden have tried to have me killed. Do you really think they won’t try again? Maybe it’ll even be easier if I’m outside the wards?” The words stung your chest, but you knew they were true. “And what if the rest of you are caught in the crossfire?” 

“We’re going to be in it either way.” Violet said, her tone calm, but her eyes pleading. “The question is whether you’ll be at our side or sitting on the sidelines watching and hoping Aaric and Garrick come back unscathed.” 

Her words made your heart plummet right to your chest. Aaric and Garrick? They couldn’t possibly be . . . 

Almost as if she could read your mind, Violet spoke again. “Aaric is determined to go if you don’t, and you know as well as I do that none of us are able to stop him if that’s what he wants.” 

Gods, she was right. 

“And Garrick . . . I need someone there to help keep an eye on Xaden.” 

Your hands started to shake on the table. You should have assumed this was coming. There was a limited number of people who knew about Xaden’s . . . condition, and you should have known someone else that knew would have to go to help keep him in check. “How long?” Your voice was barely audible, even to your own ears. 

But Violet heard you anyway. “At least a month.” 

A month. 

A whole month without knowing if your brother, your last true remaining family member was still alive. 

A month without Garrick at your side. 

You wanted to say no. You almost did. 

But your chest felt like it was caving in, ribs tightening until every breath scraped raw. Going that long without knowing . . . It would be like trying to survive without lungs to breathe in any air. 

You couldn’t do it. 

“When do we leave?” 

____________________

You didn’t like this place. No matter how beautiful the beaches were. 

For one, not being able to talk to Beathas left a giant void in your chest, and it was only made worse by not being able to sense Garrick as well. He was a quiet, constant awareness you hadn’t realized you’d come to depend on until it was gone. You found yourself looking for him and reaching for his touch as if you needed to be reminded that he was there. 

Thankfully, he seemed happy to oblige, reassuring you with a hand on the small of your back or a brush of his fingers against yours. It eased your mind, but not enough. 

This place reminded you too much of home. Beautiful, but hollow beneath the surface. Everything was monochrome, and nothing but the ocean stood out. It made you uneasy, and eager to get out of here. 

Finding out Xaden’s mother was here only made it worse. 

There were similarities in their appearances, but as you looked at her, you couldn’t help the flash of anger that burned through you, sharp and protective on Xaden’s behalf, pissed off that he had to find out his mother had a whole other family this way. A family that she seemed to have happily left him for. 

Even though you couldn’t speak to him down your bond, you could sense Garrick’s anger as well. It wasn’t possessive, not territorial, but directed squarely at the injustice of it all.

You stayed quiet mostly, observing the interactions among everyone and trying to rid yourself of the feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin. 

“We’re ignoring an obvious answer here. After all, we have a Princess of Navarre, and from what I’ve heard, they already had a . . . working relationship.” 

Your eyes shot to Xaden’s across the table, startled that they seemed to know your history.

“It would show great wisdom and dedication to their respective titles were they to contract for three . . . say four years?” Faris said, looking at the other members of the triumvirate. 

“Long enough to secure an heir for Tyrrendor and Navarre.” 

Two years ago, the thought would have steadied you instead of stealing the breath from your lungs. You had loved that man sitting across from you and would have done anything for him. 

Now the thought of being married to him made your stomach turn. 

Garrick, sitting beside you, huffed a sarcastic laugh. “If bloodlines equaled allegiance, we wouldn’t be sitting here under interrogation.” Garrick’s hand slid to your knee under the table, giving it a sharp squeeze, grounding, possessive, a silent don’t panic. “He is your son, right?” He asked, glancing at Xaden’s mother. 

“A contract marriage would be most wise,” Nairi agreed with a nod, ignoring Garrick. “We could have the legalities performed in the morning at the temple, and then hear what will, no doubt, be a plea for our assistance in their war tomorrow afternoon.” 

Panic rose in your chest at what they were suggesting, and your hand reached for Garrick’s on top of your knee. “Except we are both clearly involved with other people.” 

The silence that followed was heavy enough to press against your ribs. You could feel Garrick’s gaze burning into the side of your face, but you didn’t look at him, instead you kept your eyes on Xaden. For the briefest moment, you could have sworn that his lip tilted up in the smallest, knowing smirk. 

“Draw up the papers.” Xaden said, gripping the back of Violet’s chair. 

Um . . . what? 

Everyone was staring at him now. Mira gawking and Violet looking like she was moments from spewing her dinner across the table. 

“Ah, there we go!” Faris claps twice. “What an excellent decision. Shall we go with three or four years?” 

“Lifetime. Anything less is unacceptable.” 

“Xaden!” You finally spared a glance for Garrick who looked about three seconds away from launching himself over the table and attacking his best friend. “There’s no way -”

The man didn’t seem at all bothered though. Instead, he seemed more amused. “And her full name for the papers is Violet Sorrengail. Two R’s.” 

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until it left you in a rush. You settled back against your chair, some of the tension melting out of the room. 

Xaden looked back at Violet, and you couldn’t help but smile just a little at the affection in his eyes. “My last name is tied to the title, but we could take yours?” He offered. 

“You could hyphenate,” Garrick suggested lightly, though his thumb traced steady circles against your knee. “Or combine? Riorgail? Sorrenson?” 

“That is not what they meant.” Violet whispered at Xaden. 

“I don’t give a fuck what they meant,” he responded at full volume as he faced the triumvirate. “You may question our knowledge, test our honor or dedication as riders and fliers. Serve up riddles, fake scenarios, chess games for all I care. But if you think I’m going to leave the only woman I’ve ever loved to contract marriage with another woman, even one I consider one of my closest friends, then the lack of wisdom is yours, not mine.” 

A wave of affection, fond, uncomplicated, and entirely free of old hurt moved through you, much more relaxed than you had been moments ago. “Agreed,” you added, leaning the slightest bit closer to Garrick. It was almost like you couldn’t help it. Whenever tension crept in, your body sought him out before your mind even realized why.  

Right now was no exception. The tension at the table had you missing your bond with Garrick every second, wishing you could just speak to him to help calm your nerves. 

Somehow, he seemed to understand though. As the rest of the conversation continued around you, he kept his hand on your knee, calming you with his touch until dessert arrived. 

You didn’t think you’d ever seen someone so happy to eat chocolate cake. He was devouring it even as Cat dropped her silverware, and it rattled on the plate. 

Until Violet yelled at him to stop. 

Then something changed. 

Garrick’s smile faltered. 

His hand slipped from your knee as he wobbled in his chair. “I feel . . . I feel -” 

His eyes fluttered shut, and he collapsed, falling toward the table. 

You moved before the thought existed, catching his head inches before it struck the table. 

Voices erupted around you. Chairs scraped. Someone shouted his name, maybe Xaden, but the sound reached you warped and distant, like you were underwater. 

Your free hand fumbled for his pulse, searching, slipping, pressing harder until . . . 

Nothing.

Panic clawed up your throat. 

Then - 

There. 

Yes. There it was. Sluggish, but there. 

He wasn’t dead. 

Not yet. 

Your eyes swung frantically to Xaden’s, the only person in this room who looked as terrified as you felt. “He’s got a pulse, but - but I don’t think he’s breathing.” You said, trying to keep the panic from swallowing you whole. 

Xaden nodded, and hooked his arms under Garrick’s shoulders, hauling him from the chair and laying him out on the floor to kneel beside him. “You need to get him breathing.” Xaden told you. His voice was calm, controlled but his eyes . . . they were anything but.

Turning around quickly, your eyes found Dain’s. “Get Trager!” You ordered him. 

Dain didn’t argue. He ran. 

Without wasting another second, you pinched Garrick’s nose and sealed your mouth over his, forcing air into his lungs. 

His lips were cold. 

Wrong. 

Completely wrong. 

But his chest rose under your palm. 

Gods, you’d never wished for your bonds more in your life. The silence where your bonds should have been felt like missing limbs. You needed Beathas’s reassuring words, Chradh’s teasing voice - 

Garrick’s warm and safe presence - 

What if - What if you never heard his laugh again - 

No. 

You shoved the thought away before it could finish forming. You were not about to lose him. You’d saved his life before. You’d do it again. 

Because whether your dragons had bonded the two of you or not, there was no world, none, where Garrick Tavis wasn’t beside you. 

Malek wasn’t taking him. Not today. Not when there was still so much you hadn’t had the chance to say.

Not before you told him - 

“Keep breathing for him.” Trager arrived then, placing his hand on Garrick’s sternum, forcing all his weight down. 

You didn’t hesitate. You drew in another breath and gave it to him. 

Again. 

And again. 

You would keep breathing for him as long as it took. 

Stay with me. 

Even though it was dark, you screamed it down the silent bond. 

Please don’t leave me. 

Hands closed around your shoulders, dragging you back before you even realized someone was touching you. You fought it for half a second, panic clawing up your throat, until you heard Xaden’s voice close to your ear. 

“It’s shallow, but he’s breathing.” Xaden whispered in your ear even though he still sounded miles away. “Violet’s got it figured out.” 

Violet? You hadn’t even realized she’d left the room. 

“I’ve got to make him drink this, okay?” It had been so long since Xaden had spoken so gently to you. You weren’t sure if that made you more afraid or calmer. “I’m going to put him on his side, and you hold his head.” 

That, you could do. You nodded, and as soon as Xaden got him rolled over, you cradled his head in your lap, your fingers curling into his hair, smoothing it back from his face. The same absent gesture you’d made a hundred times when he teased you for worrying too much. Your free hand found his wrist, your thumb pressing on his pulse point. Reassuring yourself that he was still alive while Xaden and Dain forced the mixture down his throat. 

Your thumb pressed harder against his pulse, counting every uneven beat. 

You couldn’t lose him. 

Not Garrick. Not the person who felt like home even when nothing else did. 

The truth hovered just out of reach, terrifying and undeniable - 

Garrick sputtered, spitting some of the mixture out, but his eyes flashed open. They were unfocused at first, frantic, until they landed on you. 

His brow burrowed faintly, like he was trying to understand why you looked so terrified. 

“Oh Gods,” You breathed, the words breaking apart as relief hit so hard your hands started shaking. 

Xaden yelled at Garrick to wake the fuck up and drink it. It took Garrick four big swallows, but then the cup was drained and his head fell back into your lap. His eyes found yours for a single, unfocused second, recognition flickering there, before they slid closed again, his head falling back into your lap. 

You glanced up at Violet, panic turning your stomach sour, but she gave you a reassuring look. “Give it time,” she said gently. “We’re under the hour mark. He’ll be all right.” 

You nodded automatically, even though your body refused to believe her. It took everything in you to hold back the sob that desperately wanted to escape your throat. Instead, you leaned down before you even realized what you were doing, pressing your forehead against Garrick’s as your fingers tightened around his hand. “Come on, Gar. I need you to wake back up.” You whispered against his forehead, leaving a soft kiss against his skin. You needed to see those eyes again. 

Because the thought of a world without them, without him, felt unbearably wrong. 

Time dragged. 

Every second his eyes stayed closed tightened something in your chest. Even though Violet told you he would be fine, every passing moment his eyes weren’t open your anxiety rose. 

But they had to open. He had to - 

A low groan broke the silence. 

Your head snapped up. 

“This is my least favorite isle.” 

Tears spilled over before you could stop them, relief hitting so hard it almost hurt. 

Gods, there were so many things you wanted to say. Needed to say. But all that came out of your mouth was, “don’t ever do that again.” 

Garrick’s smile was weak, but it deepened slightly when he realized whose lap his head was in. “Don’t worry. No plans for that.” He groaned again as Xaden and Trager helped you sit him up. 

Xaden stepped back, watching the two of you for a long, assessing moment before turning away, relief softening the tension in his shoulders. 

“You didn’t win,” Faris snapped. 

“You’re dying. I think that qualifies you as the loser.” Violet said, sliding off the table she was perched on. 

The words shattered the fragile calm settling over you. 

Heat flooded your veins, not fear this time, but fury. Your hands turned into clenched fists, nails digging into your palms so hard you might be bleeding. 

They had almost taken him from you. 

For sport. 

For a lesson. 

As if Xaden came to the realization at the same time as you, he jumped to his feet and shoved Faris against the wall, fist cracking against Faris’s jaw. “You poisoned him?” Xaden slammed him into the wall again. “You tried to poison her?” He nodded back toward Violet, as he pulled a blade from his thigh and set it at Faris’s neck. 

You didn’t remember drawing your dagger. 

You only knew it was suddenly buried in the wall beside Faris’s head, slicing the edge of his ear. You joined Xaden’s side, a second knife poking Faris’s side. “I could have you executed for that. Poisoning the princess of Navarre.” 

Faris gave a humorless laugh. “You’re disowned.” 

You pressed the dagger harder into his skin. “Maybe, but my father loves resources more than pride. And he loves teaching a lesson more than either.” You pressed the blade harder into his side. “You gambled with his life?” You nodded toward Garrick, still pale but watching. Your blade pierced Faris’s side just enough to nick the skin. “What if I gamble with yours?” 

Faris tried to look unimpressed, but his throat bobbed beneath Xaden’s blade. Xaden, standing beside you, saw the sign of fear as well. “Seems reasonable.” He added, his blade shining in the light against Faris’s neck. 

“Whoa, whoa.” Ridoc’s voice broke through your haze of anger. “We can’t kill potential allies, even if they suck.” 

Xaden turned his head slowly toward Ridoc. 

There was no heat in his expression. No fury. 

Just calculation.

Violet stepped in at the same time as a hand slid around your waist, warm, steady, and real. Garrick’s tired, pale face looked at you from behind your shoulder, giving a faint shake of his head. All of the fight seemed to leave your body as you let him tug you into his chest. 

“As much as I appreciate the effort,” Garrick’s hoarse voice murmured in your ear. “I can’t let you start a war for me.” 

You swallowed.

 Because the terrifying part wasn’t that he was wrong. 

It was that he wasn’t. 

You would have done it. 

Without hesitation. 

Because you - 

“You two go outside and get your shit together.” Violet said to you and Xaden before turning her attention all on him. “Come back to me when you’re you.” 

Xaden held Violet’s gaze for a long, unreadable second, but then he pushed away from Faris, lowering his blade, and stormed past everyone outside. 

You followed him, hands trembling. 

The truth was no longer distant or deniable. 

You had almost lost him. Again. 

The thought of that had broken something open inside of you.

Something so all consuming that you’d never be able to hide it. 

Your legs gave out halfway across the sand, dropping you to your knees. You buried your face in your hands, overwhelmed with your emotions. 

“Have you realized it yet?” 

Xaden’s voice made you look up, and his expression, ice cold moments ago, had softened, knowing now as he watched you. 

You swallowed, and even though you had the feeling you already knew the answer, you asked the question anyway. “Realized what?” 

There it was again, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, like he already knew the answer too. 

“How much you love him.” 

He said it so casually. Like it wasn’t a life altering moment, merely a simple observation. 

Like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis because Garrick Tavis almost died. 

“I can’t think of a better person for you.” He said quietly. “And I can’t think of anyone who deserves you more.” 

Sometimes it was easy to forget that someone else knew you almost as well as Garrick did. Someone you’d spent years beside, someone who not only knew your history, but was a part of it. 

Someone you once believed you were in love with. 

You’d never thought that you’d care if Xaden approved of you being in a new relationship, but now that he had voiced he did . . . 

It meant more than you’d expected it to. 

You swallowed the emotions down again, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks, as you made yourself ask the question you were now desperate for the answer for. “Do you . . . do you think he loves me too?” 

Before he could answer though, something behind you caught his attention. “You’re going to have to ask him that yourself.” 

Xaden helped you to your feet, and you turned - 

Garrick, being helped by Trager, was walking toward you.

This time, you didn’t pretend you didn’t feel it - 

The way your heart raced. 

The way your body pulled toward him. 

The way you wanted to kiss him.

The right way this time. 

You closed the distance between you before you could second guess it, hurriedly slipping an arm around his waist to help support his weight. “You shouldn’t be walking.” You chided him, even though some of the tension in your chest loosened as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. 

“I’m fine, and I’m ready to get the hell out of here.” He grumbled, his voice still rough from the poison. 

Letting out a sigh, you glanced back over at Trager. “I’ll wait with him until Chradh gets here. Do you care to go get our stuff?” 

“On it,” Trager said, giving Garrick a pat on his shoulder. “Glad you’re okay man.” 

Garrick nodded, and Xaden approached then. “I’m going back in there with Violet. You two need to talk.” He said, giving you a meaningful look that made your heart jump as anxiety coiled in your chest. 

Garrick’s brow furrowed at Xaden’s words, and then he turned back to you, studying your expression. He frowned. “Those aren’t for me, are they?” He murmured, brushing his thumb under your eye.

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until he swept the tears away. 

You lifted a hand to swat at his chest, but your fingers curled into his shirt instead, dragging him closer as you faced him. “You almost died. Of course they’re for you.” 

He cupped your cheek, and you leaned into the touch without thinking, nuzzling into the warmth of his palm. “I’m okay,” he said softly, his gaze searching yours. 

“But you almost weren’t.” Your voice broke on the words, your fingers curling into fists. “If - if Violet hadn’t figured out what the poison was-”

“She did-”

“But what if she hadn’t?!” Your voice cracked, staring into his eyes like it might be the last time you saw them. 

The thought of losing him had been unbearable. 

Because he wasn’t just your friend. 

He was - 

“Garrick, if you died-” 

“I’ve almost died dozens of times before.” Garrick shook his head, clearly not understanding your distress. “What makes this time so different?”

“Because I didn’t know I was in love with you then!” 

The words burst out of you without thought, without hesitation, and they left you with a strange mixture of relief and fear. 

Relief that you’d said them. That you didn’t have to keep pushing the truth down anymore.

But fear that he didn’t feel the same. 

That fear only deepened as Garrick stared at you, his eyes wide, lips parting slightly like the air had been knocked from his lungs. 

“You . . . what?” 

For a heartbeat, you considered taking it back. Pretending the words had never left your mouth. Pretending you hadn’t just handed him the power to break your heart. 

But you couldn’t hide it. Not anymore. 

You don’t want to. 

“I’m in love with you.” You whispered, but Garrick was already shaking his head. 

“You don’t have to say this just because I almost died -”

“I’m not!” You insisted. You had to make him understand. Now that you’d said the hardest thing, the rest came spilling out. “Gods, Garrick when I saw you lying there -” You took a shuddering breath. “It was like my soul had been - had been ripped out of my body. It felt like that before too, but I - I didn’t know why..” 

He opened his mouth to argue again, but you didn’t give him the chance. 

“And it’s not because of the bond. I can’t feel it right now, and you know that.” You pressed your hand over his chest, right on his pounding heart. “I felt it here. I was so fucking scared.” Your voice broke. “I don’t - I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not beside me. None of this would matter. None of this would be worth it if I couldn’t love you -”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop moving.

Because after what felt like an eternity, Garrick’s hand slid into your hair - 

and he kissed you. 

It was like a comet. 

His lips consumed every part of you and left only longing in their wake. Longing for him to be closer, for his hands and lips to explore every part of you.. 

For him to never stop kissing you. 

His grip tightened slightly in your hair while the other slid to the small of your back, pressing you against him until there wasn’t an inch of space between you. Like he was afraid if he let go, you might disappear. Like he wanted the distance gone just as badly as you did. 

But you didn’t think that was possible. 

Your lips moved together in perfect harmony, like they’d been meant to do this all along. There was no awkward fumbling or clumsy missteps. Only instinct.

And something deeper. 

A quiet sort of rightness in the way the two of you fit together. 

This is what you had dreamed about. This was the kind of kiss that you thought only existed in dreams. 

You hadn’t realized kissing could actually be like this. 

When he pulled away, you chased his lips, not wanting the moment to end. He let them brush yours once more before resting his forehead against yours.

His eyes, darker than you’d ever seen them, searched your face as if he were looking for something. 

“You love me?” He asked again, his fingers tightening against your back. 

Your hands slid up his chest to cup his cheeks, and you nodded. “I really do.” There was no hesitation in your voice now. The words felt solid. Certain. 

You loved Garrick Tavis. 

His eyes closed, and one of his dimpled smiles appeared. “You have no idea -” His nose brushed gently against yours. “How badly I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” 

You couldn’t help but smile back, your fingers now slipping into his soft hair. “Probably as badly as I want to hear you say it.” 

Garrick opened his eyes again, and you practically melted at the affection you saw there. 

“I love you too.” His thumb brushed away another tear from your cheek. “Fuck, sweetheart. Every day I wake up grateful you saved my life back at threshing . . . if only because it brought you to me.” 

“Me too,” you whispered, tears slipping down your face again, but this time for a completely different reason. 

Because even here, on this awful island, after almost losing him - 

You were happy. 

Garrick loved you. 

You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve him. Maybe you never would.

But Gods, you would spend the rest of your life trying to be worthy of him.

Because somewhere along the way, saving his life had turned into loving him.

The world around you faded, the crashing waves, the distant voices, the chaos of the island.

This time, you were the one who pulled him back down into another kiss. 

You didn’t know if you’d ever get used to the way her voice thundered through your skull, low and hypnotic. “Clearly not, or I wouldn’t be bonded to you in the first place.” 

“You act like I held you against your will and forced you to bond.” You said back to her. 

She snorted. “As if you could do such a thing.” 

“So you’re okay?” Xaden asked again, taking a step back so he could get a full look at you, but he kept his hands on your shoulders. 

You nodded again. “I’m fine. I promise.” 

“Leave it to you to make a fashionably late entrance.” 

Gods, you hadn’t expected the reaction of your body. Your lungs filled with air, your heartbeat steadied, and a smile tilted your lips. While the relief of seeing Xaden had calmed you, it was like the sight of Garrick soothed the deepest parts of your soul. “You know I have to keep you guys on your toes.” 

“Hard to do,” Garrick said, his gaze sweeping over you and pride softening his expression, “when I never doubted you for a second.” He said the words easily, simply, as if he didn’t have to think about whether they were true or not. 

The easy confidence in his voice made your heart stutter. “Glad to see you’ve finally come to your senses,” you teased, unable to hide your grin. 

Garrick grinned back at you, and the sight of those dimples made butterflies soar in your stomach. He opened his mouth to say something, but the next second, a voice interrupted him. “Riorson!”

You turned just in time to get lifted off your feet into a bone-crushing hug by Ridoc, laughter bubbling out of you as he spun you around hard enough to make your vision blur. “You’re alive!” 

“We’re alive!” He corrected, sitting you back down on the ground with a wide grin. “Come on, it’s time to celebrate! Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Violet all bonded too!” 

A wave of relief you hadn’t even known you would feel swept through your body. You had become more attached to your squad than you had ever imagined, and hearing that so many of them had bonded eased the tension a little more. So you let Ridoc grab your arm, tugging you back over to where you could see some of your squadmates waiting. 

But you couldn’t help it. You glanced back. 

Xaden stood watching, a faint smile curving his lips, pride written all over his face. 

But Garrick . . . Garrick wasn’t smiling. His eyes were locked on where Ridoc’s hand circled your wrist, something like longing flickering across his face. A look that said he wished he was the one dragging you away to celebrate. 

Part of you wished he was. 

——————————

Okay, so maybe stumbling around Basgaith drunk wasn’t your brightest idea, the ground kept tilting in ways it shouldn’t, but in your defense, everyone was doing it. You’d spent the last few hours celebrating with all your friends, so glad that they had all bonded. As the night had gone on though, you’d all started to separate, and when you’d noticed Ridoc exchanging eyes, and then hands, with another cadet, you knew it was time to make yourself scarce. 

However, all the alcohol in your system made you more clumsy than usual. Your shoulder hit something solid, someone solid, and you pinwheeled forward. 

Strong hands caught your hips, steadying you so you hit the ground. 

Oh. Oh no. Oh gods. 

You didn’t have to look up to know who it was. The way his hands settled on your hips, large and familiar, combined with that leather and cedar smell that always made your stomach flip, left no doubts in  your mind who you’d tumbled into. 

But you still looked up at Garrick, a smile on your face eased by the alcohol in your system. 

“You’ve never been prone to clumsiness, Spitfire.” He said, but instead of annoyance, his tone was filled with amusement as he looked over your face. “Had plenty of fun celebrating tonight?” 

A hiccup escaped you before you could stop it. “Amazing. Such a fun party. Best night ever.” You tried to say the words with the most sober voice and expression you could. 

By the way his dimples popped up, you were pretty sure you failed. “Little Spitfire . . .” 

Your breath hitched when he tipped your chin up with his thumb, guiding your eyes to his. His touch was gentle, but the intent behind it felt anything but. 

“Are you drunk?” He asked, clearly amused. 

“Wha- why - why would you think that?” You asked. 

Gods, why was your voice breathy? Why did he have to smell like every good memory you’d ever had? 

“Maybe because your cheeks are flushed. Or,” he added, his thumb grazing your bottom lip again, slowly, like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. “It might be that you can’t form a proper sentence.”

You bit your lip, and you watched as his eyes tracked the movement, hungry, but startled, like he hadn’t meant to react but couldn’t help it.

It gave you more of a rush than the alcohol ever could. 

“Don’t tell Xaden?” You whispered. Don’t tell him you were drunk. Don’t tell him that his best friend was touching his little sister like this. Don’t tell him that you didn’t want Garrick to stop. 

Garrick’s hazel eyes, warm and safe met yours once more, “Our little secret.” 

You weren’t sure which thing he was referring to either. 

“Speaking of secrets . . .” His eyes almost seemed to sparkle as he took a step back, his hand slipping from your hips. His touch left a cold ache you hated, but then he caught your hand instead, palm rough, fingers sure. “I’ve got some place I want to take you.” His grin turned to a smirk as he took a step back, tugging you with him. “That’s if your drunk ass can make it.”

Heat flooded your cheeks, but you lifted your chin. “Even drunk I’m still faster than you, Tavis.” 

His eyes lit up at the challenge. “Prove it.” 

With a tug of his hand, the two of you were off, crashing through the treeline. 

You tried to be quiet. You failed. 

Your laughter kept breaking free in helpless bursts, and Garrick’s chuckle followed every time, warming you up and making you laugh even more. 

Garrick only had to help you up twice before he pulled you into a clearing, his arm around your waist, his breath warm against your cheek, both of you breathless from running and laughing and . . . whatever this was turning into.

You expected him to step back, remove his arm from you, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned even closer, his breath brushing your ear as he whispered into it. Your knees nearly buckled from the warmth of it. “Remind you of anywhere?” 

Your brow furrowed as you looked at your surroundings. Focusing was easier said than done when he was that close, but you tried. 

You were sure you hadn’t been here yet. Nothing about the place stood out. It was filled with trees, moonlight, and shadows. Everything here was ordinary. 

Except him. 

Except the way his body pressed against yours. 

“Wait for it,” Garrick whispered again. 

Seconds later, it happened. A rush of air swept over you, stirring your hair as wings beat against the night. You looked up to see a massive shape glide across the moon, brown scales glinting silver in the light. 

Just like that, you were back in Aretia. Your shoulder pressed against Garrick’s in the grass, dreaming too big, wishing too hard, believing that someday the world might let you both fly. 

A smile lit your lips, and you found yourself leaning back against Garrick’s shoulder to get a better view of the sky. “Why did you wait until now to show me this?” You asked. 

“I wanted to wait until you bonded,” Garrick murmured, his thumb tracing slow circles into your stomach that made your breath catch. “So the next time you looked up at the dragons in the sky . . . you’d know what it felt like to touch one. To ride one. To belong to one.” 

A wave of affection crashed into you, sudden and terrifying. You turned in his arms, hands settling on his chest before you even realized you’d touched him. “What if I hadn’t bonded? What if I came back without a dragon?” 

“I told you,” he said, brushing that loose strand of hair back again, slower this time. “I never doubted you for a second.” 

His voice wasn’t teasing now. 

It was reverent. 

Gods no one had ever looked at you like this. Or believed in you like this. So easily and without any doubt. For almost your whole life, Garrick had been the one constant. The one who believed in you without question, who never once treated you like you were fragile or lesser or something that needed saving.

It was the only reason, besides the alcohol in your system, you had the courage to do what you did next. 

One second you were staring into his soft hazel eyes. The next, you made your choice. 

You rose onto your toes and pressed your lips to his. 

They were soft, warm, but unmoving against yours. You could feel the tension line his body beneath your hands, rigid and coiled, and it terrified you. 

You pulled away.

Gods what had you done? You’d crossed a line you couldn’t uncross. You opened your eyes to find Garrick staring at you, his jaw tense and eyes now dark. 

The rejection was instant and brutal. It made your chest hurt and your stomach felt like it was hitting the ground beneath your feet. You couldn’t believe that you had been that stupid. To think that there was something there, and that he wanted you the same way that you wanted him. At least you could blame your actions on the alcohol. 

“I’m sorry,” You said, breathless as you let go of his shirt as if it burned you. “I shouldn’t have -” You swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Garrick didn’t say anything. 

You scrambled to fill the silence, saying anything to keep it from being more embarrassed. “We can pretend it didn’t happen. I mean, I thought you might feel something for me, but clearly that’s not the case.” You bit your lip, stepping back and wrapping your arms around yourself. “I was being stupid -”

Suddenly your back was against a tree, bark biting into your spine, and a gasp left your lips at the impact. No longer was there any space between you and Garrick, no room to breathe, no room to think. Every inch of his hard, warm body was pressed against yours, making every thought you’d had moments before flutter away. 

A shaky breath left your lips as his forehead pressed against yours. “You weren’t being stupid.” Garrick whispered, his voice rough, so close that his lips brushed against yours with every word. “Not at all.” 

You watched as he glanced down at your lips, your heart ready to explode out of your chest as you realized the reason his eyes had darkened earlier hadn’t been anger. No. 

It was desire. 

“Garrick,” You whispered, your voice so soft no one but him had a hope of hearing it. 

That was all it took. 

He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed you. 

And you realized at that very moment that every kiss you’d ever had would never come close to this. 

Everything went quiet, lost in the background of your mind. There was nothing more important in the world at that moment but the way that Garrick was kissing you. Not the fact that he was your brother’s best friend, that you had bonded a dragon, that war was knocking at the door ready to burst into your life. 

Nothing mattered except his soft lips, and the way they felt so perfect, so right against your own. 

You melted into him, your hands wrapping around his waist to hold him even closer, desperate to keep him there and extend this moment for as long as possible. 

He didn’t seem in any hurry for it to end either, slipping his hands into your hair, and parting his lips to deepen the kiss. 

You saw stars. 

A groan left his lips as your nails dug into his back, and the kiss, innocent seconds ago, changed into something else entirely. It was like years of pent up desire exploded, and you couldn’t seem to get enough, and neither could he. 

Tongues and lips explored each other as if memorizing every inch. His hips pinned you to the tree, and you let out a soft moan of surprise and pleasure at how quickly desire curled low in your stomach.

Garrick pulled away at the sound, letting out a rough, “fuck,” as he started kissing down your neck, leaving a trail of heat everywhere his lips traveled. “If you keep making noises like that,” he warned, “I’m not going to be able to stop myself.” 

“Who said I want you to?” You said breathlessly, slipping your hands under  his shirt to drag up the bare skin of his back like you’d dreamed of doing so many times. You felt his body shiver under your touch, and loved the rush it gave you knowing the effect you had on him. 

He lifted his head from your neck, staring into your eyes like there was nothing he wanted to look at more. “Gods, you're dangerous.” He murmured. 

Before you could ask him what he meant, he wrapped your hair around his fist, tugging your head back and enveloping you in the hottest kiss you’d ever had. 

You let out a whimper against his lips, and seconds later a dragon’s low growl rolled through the clearing, vibrating through the ground beneath your feet.  

Garrick jerked back like he’d been burned. His eyes were wide as he stared at you, his cheeks flushed and hair wild. 

You didn’t like the way he was looking at you. Like he’d woken from something he shouldn’t have allowed himself to want. 

He was looking at you with regret. 

“Garrick,” you whispered, and you hated the pleading edge in your voice. You didn’t want him to go. You didn’t want him to take back everything that had happened between the two of you like it didn’t matter. 

Like it hadn’t flipped your world upside down. 

His eyes dropped to your lips, and his face softened for the briefest moment, but then he shook his head, like he was shaking himself out of it. “I have to go. Xaden . . .”

Your shoulders slumped, you felt the rejection creeping into your chest, stinging your heart with every passing second. He was really going to do it. He was going to let Xaden get in the way of something between the two of you. “Then you better go.” You crossed your arms over your chest, holding yourself together. “You don’t want to keep your best friend waiting.” 

He said your name, his hand twitching like he wanted to reach out to you, like stopping himself hurt. 

But you took a step back, putting space between you before you could change your mind. “Just go.” You said, and although you wanted to sound strong, all you heard in your voice was weakness. 

Garrick continued to stare at you, like he was waiting for you to stop him, for himself to say something he couldn’t take back, but then he nodded, and with one last glance, he left you there. The sound of his footsteps fading until it felt unbearably quiet. 

“I wasn’t going to let anything happen to him.” She added, her hazy eyes soft like you’d never seen. 

“I don’t want to sacrifice you for my mate.” You tried to tell her, stepping closer until she nuzzled into your palm again. 

But she didn’t say anything, and even though she couldn’t see you, her gaze was soft, heavy with something she hadn’t yet put into words. 

Before you could say anything else, the ground shook behind you, and you didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. You turned anyway, the need to reach him hitting you so hard it almost hurt, a pull you didn’t bother fighting anymore. 

However, instead of finding Ridoc waiting with open arms, you walked straight into a storm. The look in his eyes was dark, his face furious. “What the hell were you thinking?!” He yelled. 

Yelling always did it. It triggered that part in your brain that flashed danger in bright red letters. Illogical panic surged up your throat, choking off your breath, and you stumbled backward from the perceived threat, falling straight onto Fiadh’s leg. Sensing your fear, she lowered her head, serpentine and lethal, snapping her teeth at Ridoc, preventing him from coming any closer, a growl low in her throat. 

He startled back, and then looked at you, his face draining of color at the sight of you. The storm vanished from his eyes in an instant, leaving only horror. “Shit, baby I’m so sorry.” Sincerity rang in every word, and he looked crushed at his actions and what they had caused. “I would never hurt you. Never.” He said, dropping to his knees. “Please tell me you know that.” Ridoc pleaded. 

You nodded, your heart rate slowly returning to normal as you continued to stare at him. “Yelling - it triggers me sometimes. I’m sorry, I know-”

“Don’t say sorry.” He interrupted. “Please just . . . tell me I can hold you.” He sounded like there was nothing in the world he wanted more. 

You crawled a few feet to him, and he wrapped his arms around you like he was afraid letting go would break you both. Ridoc sat down, pulling you into his lap as he held you, and you felt tears start to trail down your cheeks when you felt him shaking. “I’m so sorry - I - I thought I lost you, and I got so fucking scared, I overreacted - I’ll never raise my voice at you like that again. I swear to Dunne-”

You knew he’d never hurt you. It was a gut reaction to his unexpected anger. “I thought I was going to lose you. You didn’t see the venin.” 

“I know, and I know I would have done the same thing, but turning around and seeing you that close to dying -“ his whole body shuddered. 

You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to calm him. “I’m okay. You’re okay, and I get to love you another day.” You said, and you weren’t sure whether the mantra was for you or for him. 

Ridoc nodded, and you felt him starting to calm under your touch. His breath slowed, syncing with yours until the shaking stopped. 

It was only when you glanced up that you noticed the noise above you. Your eyes widened as you watched Aotrom and Fiadh growling at each other, but there was something different about it than normal. There was practically no space between the two of them, almost nose to nose, and you would have been nervous, but there was no anger down the bond. 

Instead, you felt . . . worry. 

“Don’t look or you’ll freak them out, but I think Fiadh and Aotrom might be flirting. Do dragons . . . flirt?” You whispered. 

Of course Ridoc looked, but in his defense you probably would have too. He kept his arms locked around you though, not letting an inch of space between the two of you as he studied your dragons. “I think she’s yelling at him.” He said, squinting.

“Oh she definitely is,” you replied as the growling grew louder. “But that’s how I imagine she flirts.” 

For the first time, a small smile formed on Ridoc’s face. “You know what? Fair.” 

Your mouth dropped as Fiadh took a step forward. For a moment you thought she was going to bite Aotrom, but then . . . She nuzzled her nose against him, then bared her neck to him. “Oh, that’s definitely flirting.”

“Holy shit,” Ridoc sounded as shocked as you did. “Did we actually manage to hook our dragons up?” He whispered, like speaking too loudly might break it. 

Before you could respond though, the thunder of wings overhead interrupted the moment as Sawyer and Sliseag approached, yelling your name and Ridoc’s. The two of you stood up, running to Sawyer and pulling him into a tight, three-way hug. “Are you guys okay?” He asked. 

“A few close calls, but we made it.” Ridoc said, giving Sawyer a once over. “You?”  

Sawyer nodded, “Rhi’s good too, but we’ve got to get back.” When he saw your confused looks, he explained. 

“Violet’s missing.” 

——————————

The next twenty-four hours were a blur. Riders were dead and missing, elders of the Empyrean were dead, but Violet was back with a ring on her finger and no memory of how it got there. 

By the time the party had made it home to Aretia, you and Ridoc barely had time to do anything other than collapse on your bed in exhaustion. 

Which was why you were so surprised when your eyes snapped open. The room was still dark, so you knew it was late. You were a pretty heavy sleeper, so you wondered what had been strong enough to wake you up. 

You lay still, heart pounding, waiting for your body to settle. 

It didn’t. 

Something else pressed against your thoughts. Something impatient, restless, something that was not entirely yours. 

Then it hit you. 

Need crashed over you like a wave. Harsh and violent, leaving you breathless with it. Oh gods what was this? It felt like you were being dragged towards something you couldn’t ignore.

What the fuck? 

Your breath caught as you felt Ridoc moving, tugging you back even closer to him, and you let out a loud moan as you felt him hard against your ass. 

Oh. Oh. That was what you needed. 

Fire felt like it was burning through your veins, and you couldn’t ever remember wanting Ridoc as much as you did right now. You needed him now, or you were going to burn alive. 

You rolled over in his arms, and felt a strange sense of rightness settling in your chest that yes, this is what your body wanted. Gods, he was so attractive. His dark hair was stuck in several different directions, but his face was peaceful. You reached out, letting your fingertips trace his cheek, down and across his strong jaw, then to his soft lips that parted under your touch. Then your hand traveled further, down his neck to trace along his tattoo and relic. 

Gods, you had to have him. 

Ridoc had always been a heavy sleeper. So when you pushed him over onto his back, he didn’t wake at all. When you started trailing kisses from his neck down his chest all he did was let out a sleepy groan. It wasn’t until you pulled his boxers down and took him into your mouth that he stirred. 

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned, his voice hoarse with sleep as his fingers slid into your hair, giving it a little tug. 

The motion sent heat straight to your core, and you let out a moan as you went down further on him, gripping his thigh tight with one hand while your other slid down to relieve some of the ache in your own core. While you enjoyed giving him head, it had never felt this intense. You looked up at him under your lashes and almost came at the sight. 

You’d never seen him look so needy. You’d barely put your mouth on him, and he already looked close to losing it. His muscles were tensing, and you watched his chest rise and fall rapidly. 

It turned you on even more. 

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked. 

He practically leapt off the bed, and you let out a pleased moan at the sight, the vibration seeming to make him feel even more unhinged. 

You started to go even further, but he used his grip on your hair to tug you off. You pouted up at him, even though the tug on your hair had you grinding into the sheets. 

“Baby, as much as I love what you’re doing.” He said breathlessly. “I need to be inside of you right now.” 

Well, you couldn’t complain about that. 

Within seconds, Ridoc had you flipped on your back and slammed inside of you. “Oh, fuck, Ridoc.” You moaned, your fingers clutching onto his shoulders, your fingers digging into his skin. 

Oh Gods, yes, this was what you needed. Your whole mind seemed to be going blank. All you could think about was how incredible he felt. How much you loved this man. Needed this man. You couldn’t picture ever wanting anyone else when he made you feel like this. 

You lifted your hips to meet his next thrust, and the groan he made sent heat straight to your core. This was going to be the fastest orgasm of your life. You could feel it hovering, closer and closer every time your hips met Ridoc’s. 

You would have been embarrassed if you couldn’t see the signs of Ridoc’s impending release as well. His movements were becoming erratic, out of rhythm, and focused on one goal. 

Your release. 

Ridoc bent down over you, took your breast in his mouth, and you were so close that was all it took. 

But there was something different about this one. Your orgasm didn’t just crash over you. 

It exploded. 

White blinded your eyes, and your mind shut down completely. It was like there had been an actual collision in your head, leaving you feeling limp and weak. You could barely even feel it when Ridoc released inside of you, so lost in your own pleasure it almost felt like you were floating. 

Slowly, air came back to your lungs, and you felt Ridoc easing down on top of you, burying his face in your neck and leaving soft kisses against your neck. 

You wrapped your legs around him, letting out another moan as he rolled his hips against yours and his kisses turned more sensual. “Ridoc, what’s happening?” You murmured, because clearly something was. You felt insatiable. 

“Fuck, I don’t know.” He replied, “All I know is I need you so fucking bad right now.” Ridoc groaned as your hands reached up and tangled in his hair. “Please tell me I can have you again.” 

“Gods, yes,” You didn’t even hesitate, tugging him down for a messy kiss that he returned all too eagerly. 

You might not have a clue what was going on, but you were going to take advantage of every second of feeling this way. 

____________________

You’d never been so sore in your whole life. 

Of course you’d never felt as satisfied either. 

You rolled over to find your boyfriend on his stomach, and if he hadn’t been snoring so loud, you would have thought he was dead. While you still wanted him, it was nothing like last night, no firestorm under your skin, no frantic edge to it. You had no clue what had come over either of you then. 

But it was amazing. 

You let your hand rest on the small of his back, leaning over to press a soft kiss to his shoulder, smiling against his skin when he cut himself off mid snore with a groan, reaching behind him blindly for your hand. He rolled over on his side, pulling your arm around him until you were cuddled against his back. 

“Sorry,” You murmured automatically, leaving an apology kiss against the place where his shoulder met his neck. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

Ridoc let out another groan. “Is a sex hangover a thing? I think I have one.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, leaving more kisses in a line up his neck. “You mean to tell me you’re worn out from sex? I never thought this day would come.” You teased, giving him a playful nip. “And do I need to remind you that you are the one who said, ‘one more’, three times last night?” 

Ridoc’s thumb started stroking the outside of your palm, and he shot you a grin over his shoulder. “If you weren’t so hot, I wouldn’t want to have sex with you all the time, so really, this is on you.” 

“Well, the same goes to you.” You couldn’t help but take another moment to admire him first thing in the morning. His hair was still all over the place, as if someone had run their fingers through it several times, which if you recalled correctly, you had. His neck was marked in places you didn’t remember kissing so thoroughly, and faint scratches lined his shoulders. 

Damn. You usually weren’t one to be so . . . unrestrained. 

“Ridoc . . . there was something different last night, right? I mean I felt like I just couldn’t . . . stop.” You admitted, settling your head back down on the pillow beside him as he used your arm to pull you even closer. 

“I felt the same.” Ridoc admitted, his hand now tracing lines up and down your arm. “I thought maybe it was the adrenaline from the day.” 

That was possible, right? 

“But I didn’t hate it.” He added quietly, and even though he wasn’t facing you, you were sure he was smirking.

You let out a little laugh, “Of course you -”

“We need you outside.” Fiadh’s voice was so sudden that you jumped. 

“Now?” You had assumed that Fiadh would have wanted some extra time to recover after her injury yesterday. 

She growled at the thoughts in your mind. “I am fine. The mender took care of me. Get out here. Now. And bring your . . . mate.” 

What the hell? Why would Fiadh want Ridoc there too? You wanted to ask, but you knew the question wouldn’t be answered. “We’ve got to get dressed.” You told Ridoc, giving another quick kiss to his shoulder. “Fiadh needs to see us.” 

Ridoc sat up, his brow furrowing. “Is she going to set me on fire for yesterday?” He asked, only half joking.

You sat up too, brushing some hair out of his face. “No, and I told you you’re forgiven for that.” You gave him a little smile. “I almost yelled at you too.” 

He caught your hand, pressing a soft kiss to your palm. “It won’t happen again. I promise.” 

“I know.” You said, squeezing his hand. You believed him. 

The two of you dressed quickly after that, not wasting any more time as you hurried outside to meet your dragon. When you met Fiadh, you were surprised to find that Aotrom was there as well. “Is it just me,” Ridoc murmured in your ear, “or does this feel like an intervention?” 

“Something like that.” You replied, eyes locked on your dragon. 

You knew her better than anyone in the universe, and you could tell that something was . . . different. The constant tension that normally defined her, every line sharp, every muscle coiled, was gone. It was almost like she was relaxed. Something you’d never seen before. You also couldn’t help but notice how close she was to Aotrom. An amount of space that a week ago would have earned him a warning growl, or worse. 

“I always knew you were more observant than the other riders.” Fiadh’s gravelly voice echoed down your bond. 

“And what exactly am I observing?” You asked her, not bothering to keep your conversation confined to your bond since she had asked Ridoc to join the two of you. 

Your eyes widened as you watched Aotrom nudge against the side of her face with his nose, almost like he was whispering to her. You felt Ridoc’s squeeze of your hand, realizing he was noting the same thing. 

“We have chosen to be mates.” 

You had to control yourself so you didn’t jump, because the voice that echoed through your mind was not the voice of your dragon. No, this one, while still gravely, felt almost static inducing, crackling against your thoughts. 

And there was only one dragon whose voice it made sense to be. 

Your eyes locked on Aotrom, who almost seemed to be . . . smirking at you. “Is that really what you sound like?” You asked, a little stunned. 

“Wait, did you - did you just hear him?” Ridoc interrupted, eyes wide, his grip on your hand tightening. 

“We can talk to both of you now. One of the many new things you will discover now that we are mates.” Fiadh spoke, and by the way Ridoc’s mouth dropped, you got the feeling he could hear her as well. “Not that there will be much of that.” She added, and even though she couldn’t see him, her gaze was still disapproving as she tilted her head unmistakably toward Ridoc. 

“You’ll also be able to talk to each other through your own bonds now.” Aotrom added. 

“Our own -?”

But before you could ask anything else, Fiadh cut in. “I assume the two of you understand what this means for you?” 

“It means no separating.” You glanced over at Ridoc’s reassuring squeeze of your hand to find him already looking at you. “You’re really stuck with me now.” 

Heat flooded your cheeks,a warm, steady happiness settling in your chest. You could think of much worse things than being stuck with Ridoc the rest of your life. 

“Unless death tears us all apart.” 

It was then that you remembered something else. One of the reasons Violet had become such a target. Your eyes flashed back to Fiadh, and even though you knew she couldn’t see you, it felt like she could. Her sharp gaze studying your features like she was trying to get you to understand what was at stake. 

Fiadh’s words were a warning.