heyyy!! i LOVE your fourth wing stories â¤ď¸ was wondering if you might be open to doing a request of a garrick tavisxtauri!reader with a littleee complication haha... where she's in the same year as garrick (who's been secretly in love with her for ages) and they have mated dragons, BUT she and xaden have been together since first year until xaden starts drifting to violet and she notices. when she confronts him he admits he loves violet in a way he never has with her and they break up, garrick stands by her and slowly she falls for him and she's terrified of being hurt again but when garrick is poisoned and almost dies in onyx storm she freaks tf out and can't help but confess her love for him while taking care of him afterward :)) would love to read your writing for this, but if it's not your cup of tea no worries, much love anyways!! â¤ď¸
Anon, I am so, so glad you sent me this request, but am so sorry for how long it took. I just hope that the wait has been worth it, and here is 20k for your troubles. Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy! Warnings: Canon typical violence and language
You had known that it wasnât going to last, but you hoped it would.Â
Unfortunately, most things that started with death didnât have a happy ending.Â
Something changed that day at Threshing. You hadnât planned on heroics. Your goal was simple: bond a dragon, get out, and stay as far away from Alic as possible.Â
But then you saw him, barely conscious, bloodied, moments from death, and Alic standing over him, ready to strike.Â
You didnât think. Maybe it was the years of swallowing your screams. Maybe it was the countless times youâd turned your back, told yourself it wasnât your place. Maybe it was the fact that it had once been you, bloody and unconscious laying in front of your brother. Maybe something inside you finally shattered.Â
All you knew was that one second, you were watching. The next, your blade was in Alicâs shoulder.Â
The look he gave you, that fury, that disbelief, youâd never forget it. You had no doubt in your mind that he would have killed you right then if not for two things happening.Â
First, the man youâd just saved, moving faster than you expected, wrapping an arm around your waist and yanking you sideways into his body.Â
Turns out, he wasnât unconscious.Â
The second thing, the thing that truly shattered everything, was Xaden Riorson appearing out of nowhere, bloodied and bruised, and slicing your brotherâs throat right in front of you. So close the spray of blood hit your face.Â
Xaden Riorson . . . Fen Riorsonâs son. If - If he was here, who was Xaden saving because it sure as hell wasnât -Â
You turned your head, breath caught in your chest, and found yourself staring into the eyes of the man still holding you.Â
Garrick Tavis.
The realization hit like cold steel.Â
Marked ones. You had just helped marked ones kill your brother.Â
Oh gods, were they going to kill you now? If they didnât - Halden was going to. Or your father would and make it look like an accident. Then Cam, the only brother you had worth a damn, was going to be alone, and -
Garrick seemed to sense your rising panic. His arm tightened around your waist, and his voice brushed your ear as he murmured, âWeâre not going to hurt you.âÂ
You shivered.Â
âGarrick-â Xaden started, his tone edged with warning.
âShe just stabbed her godsdamn brother for me, Xaden. Iâm not fucking hurting her.â Garrick snapped.
Xaden turned to you then, like he was really seeing you for the first time. His eyes softened, barely, and he held out his hand.Â
You stared at it like there was a blade hidden beneath his palm.Â
âThough you clearly have good instincts not trusting me.â Xaden bit his lip, and you thought he mightâve been hiding a smirk. âYou saved my best friend, Tauri. Iâm not hurting you either.âÂ
How were you supposed to take the hand of the man who had only ever looked at you like he wished youâd drop dead?Â
Garrickâs hold on you tightened. Not threatening, but steady. Reassuring. âIâd help you up, but your asshole brother wrecked my ankle.âÂ
You looked at the hand in front of you. The hand of someone you were raised to hate. The hand that represented everything youâd been taught to fear and despise.Â
And you took it.
Roars cracked through the forest. The ground shuddered beneath your feet as Xaden hauled you upright, and your breath caught as two enormous, terrifying dragons stepped out from between the trees.Â
Your eyes were immediately drawn to the one on the left.Â
It was a stunning shade of emerald, its scales catching the light like polished stone. Its eyes were locked onto you, piercing, intelligent, assessing. You couldnât look away. Almost without your brainâs permission, your feet began to move, carrying you toward it like something in you recognized it before you understood why.Â
It didnât flinch. Instead, it gave a huff of impatience, like you werenât walking fast enough.Â
âYou are the Princess?âÂ
You startled. The voice wasnât spoken, but it rang clearly through your head, imperious and resonant, echoing with command.Â
She was speaking in your mind.Â
You hesitated. Were you supposed to answer out loud? In your thoughts?Â
She snorted, amused. âIt does not matter. I can hear either.â
âYes,â you said aloud, stopping in front of her. Speaking in your head just felt . . . too strange.Â
She stared at you for another moment, then lowered her head to yours. For one terrifying second you thought she was going to burn you alive, but instead a gust of hot steam from her nostrils blew your hair back. âYou are mine now.â
Your eyes widened. Did she mean what you thought she did?Â
âAre you sure this is the one you chose?â Another voice echoed in your mind, this one very clearly male, but more melodic, almost musical in its tone.Â
You blinked, turning toward the second dragon. The brown one. He was watching you just as intently.Â
But - dragons didnât talk to other humans, only their chosen ones.Â
How could you hear both of them?Â
âAt least my human is still standing.â She snapped at him, but there wasnât any malice behind it. It almost felt . . . playful?Â
The other dragon made a growling noise, his eyes moving past you to Garrick. âHe will rise. He is strong.âÂ
You turned just in time to see Garrick shove off Xadenâs offered hand. Gritting his teeth, he pushed himself upright, favoring one leg but steady on the other. Then his eyes landed on the brown dragon, and they went wide with disbelief.Â
âAs I said. Strong.â The dragonâs voice rumbled with pride. âCome here, Garrick Tavis.âÂ
Garrick didnât hesitate.Â
It took him a few moments, but he limped over to join the three of you, stopping once he stood beside you. He shot you a bewildered look, but you had no idea what to say. What could you say?
âWe have chosen you two as our Riders.â Your dragon said, her voice like steel wrapped in fire. âYou will not disappoint us.âÂ
Garrick inhaled sharply and glanced toward her. The realization hit you at the same time it seemed to hit him. He could hear her too. Just like you could hear his.Â
âBeathas is my mate,â Garrickâs dragon growled, his tone low and unmistakably threatening. âIt means you will protect her rider like she has already done for you.âÂ
Mates. Oh Gods, your dragon and Garrickâs dragon were mates. That meant -Â
Your dragon, Beathas you now knew, turned her great emerald head toward you. âYes, Princess. You two are now bound, and you must continue to protect him as you already have.âÂ
Your eyes snapped to Garrickâs He was already looking at you, shock written across his face.Â
In that moment, the truth settled over you both like a shroud.Â
You were tethered now. Bound by your dragons. Linked until death pulled you apart.Â
A princess and a marked one.Â
â-----------------
For weeks, every day after that felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop.Â
You kept bracing for someone to strike, convinced that word would leak out about your involvement in Alicâs death, but . . . nothing happened. Of course everyone found out about you and Garrickâs dragons, but other than that, there wasnât a word. It seemed that Xaden had taken the fall willingly. Publicly, he claimed responsibility for the kill and made no attempt to hide it.Â
Why? Why protect you when he could have made you the number one target in the quadrant? You had no idea.Â
But slowly, days passed, and you started to breathe easier than you had in years.Â
You learned that you and Garrick were able to talk to each other in your minds as well as your dragons, and he turned out to be a welcome presence. The more you got to know him, the more thankful you were that your dragons were bonded. He eased your anxiety. He made you smile, even laugh, something you felt like you hadnât done in so long it felt foreign. The two of you started spending more time together, even more so when a training exercise gone wrong killed half your squad, and you got reassigned to his and Xadenâs squad.Â
Getting to know Garrick however meant you got to know the rest of them, and while there was obviously some trepidation, Garrick brought you into the fold like you were any other rider and not the Princess of Navarre.Â
Then there was Xaden Riorson.Â
Somehow, saving Garrickâs life had earned his respect. He didnât look at you like he wanted you dead anymore. Now his eyes watched, measured, and gods help you, teased.
You might even call him a friend.Â
Then Reunification Day arrived.Â
You were a mess of nerves and tension, and you were terrified the smallest thing was going to make you snap. You didnât want to go. It was the first time youâd be setting your eyes on not only your other brother, but your father, in months. Youâd been informed by the General earlier that heâd be coming. You knew theyâd have questions, and they werenât ones you were ready to answer. You also didnât know if they knew about your and Garrickâs dragons, and you definitely didnât want to have that conversation.Â
It didnât help that Garrick and Xaden had been uncharacteristically silent over the past couple of days.Â
You missed them.Â
âThere is an easy way to fix that problem.â Beathasâs voice echoed down your bond, warm and amused.Â
âI donât think I can fix that problem.â You told her, smoothing down your rider issued skirt with shaking hands. âNot when it was my family that caused it.âÂ
You could almost see her tilting her head at you, even across the bond. âDo you truly believe after these past few months they hold you responsible for what happened to their parents?âÂ
They should. You deserved every bit of their anger. Of their silence.Â
You heard her scoff. âDo you need Chradh to reassure you of his riderâs feelings towards you?â There was a knowing edge to her voice, a lilt that sounded suspiciously close to a smirk.Â
âI donât have time for this right now. Promise you wonât mourn too long if my father or Halden kills me?â The joke tasted bitter, even to you.Â
Her growl rumbled through your mind, her voice downright menacing this time. âThey will never get the chance.âÂ
Something in her voice settled the knot in your chest just a little.Â
And, gods help you . . . you believed her.Â
You took one last look in the mirror, and headed out of your door to meet your fate.Â
There were people everywhere. You couldnât walk a few steps forward without bumping into someoneâs shoulders and apologizing. Which of course made their eyes widen and then profusely apologize to their âprincessâ. You fought the urge to roll your eyes every time.Â
Finally, you managed to find a small alcove, faintly lit by the mage lights. It wasnât private by any means, but it gave you enough space to breathe and enjoy the drink in your hands. For the first time in days, you let your mind drift to that garden where all your bonds were housed. The emerald one with Beathas, the dark brown one that connected you to Chradh, and the gold one, lined with amber, that was Garrickâs. It was strong, so you knew he was near, and you found yourself looking in the crowd for him even though you were sure you were the last person he wanted to see.Â
âWell, if it isnât my sister.âÂ
The voice sent a trail of ice down your spine, along with the fingers he dug hard into your shoulders with familiar cruelty. You didnât turn to face him though, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.Â
âIâm surprised you showed your face honestly.â Halden continued, voice low and venomous. âAfter you let our brother die.â He hissed the next words in your ears.Â
Shivers crawled down your back, and you felt yourself shrinking, curling inward. The strong, steady woman you had become since threshing began to fade beneath the weight of old patterns. Haldenâs grip would leave bruises. His anger always did.Â
âThat is not who you are anymore.â Beathasâs voice snapped through the fog, sharp and wild and blazing with fire. âYou are brave, and you are strong. Stronger than him. If you do not like his hands on you, make him let you go.âÂ
Her power surged in your chest, steady and warm, like standing beside a living bonfire. She was right. Halden may be in the infantry, might be more physically strong and a better fighter, but now, you had something he would never have.Â
A dragon.Â
You opened that door to Beathasâs power, barely an inch, just enough to let your shoulders heat, not harming you, but enough for him to feel it.Â
Halden yelped and jerked his hands away, swearing under his breath.Â
You turned in your chair, heat blazing in your eyes as you glared at him. âRemember that the next time you think about putting your hands on me, Halden. Or Cam for that matter.â You told him, your voice calm but deadly.Â
Pride roared down the bond.Â
His eyes were dark, full of a familiar fury that normally would have made you cringe away, but with Beathasâs silent support, not anymore. âI know you had something to do with Alic. Riorson might take the credit, but I know you played a part.â He hissed the next words, âand Iâll never forgive you for it.âÂ
You crossed your arms over your chest, and startled slightly as something smooth brushed against your ankle. You glanced down, and the softest smile formed on your lips as you glimpsed a shadow wrapping around your calf, a silent show of support from a man hidden in the crowd. You looked back up at Halden, feeling stronger than you ever had in your life. âI can live with that.â You told him.
Before Halden could respond, a new voice rang out, rich and booming.Â
âAh, my children found each other!âÂ
You swallowed, but you refused to let the fear creep in as your father approached. Xadenâs shadow tightened protectively around your leg, and you took a subtle breath, letting it ground you. You plastered a smile on your face as he approached. âHey, dad.âÂ
You had expected him to take one look at you and give you the same disappointed look he always had. Your father had never had any problem expressing his displeasure at the few choices youâd been allowed to make.Â
Instead, your mouth almost dropped as he gave you a blinding smile, leaning forward to press an affectionate kiss against your cheek. âYou look lovely, darling. Strong.â
Your stomach twisted. Who was this man and what had he done with your father?Â
You forced a smile, slightly unsure. âThank you.â You said, ignoring the way Halden was practically burning a hole in your side with his glare.Â
Your father studied you, head tilting slightly. The smile still sat on his lips, but now his gaze was sharp and calculating. âI never would have thought you had it in you, you know?âÂ
You blinked, your smile faltering. âHad what in me?âÂ
Your fatherâs smile widened. âIt was a smart move, but how did you manage to make a specific dragon bond with you?âÂ
Fury exploded down the bond, and you felt Beathasâs growl almost vibrating in your skull at the implication. She was outraged, and so were you. He knew better. Anyone with half a brain did. âI didnât. She chose me.â You said, offended.Â
He frowned for a heartbeat before the pleasant mask slid back into place. âJust luck then. Well, I canât think of a better way for you to keep an eye on those marked ones than by having a dragon mated to one of theirs.âÂ
You froze.Â
The shadow wrapped around your leg vanished in a heartbeat, slipping away before you could even take a breath. You followed it, and your heart leapt into your throat as your eyes caught on the two last people you wanted to hear that.Â
Garrickâs expression made something in your chest crack. Not confusion, not even anger. It was betrayal. He took a step back. Then another. You wanted to shout after him. He knew you. He had to know that you would never -Â
But did he?Â
He tore his gaze away and snuck off into the night, and when you went to his arch in the garden of your mind, you found a wall of gold, blocking you out. Your hand stroked it, soft and gentle, but it did not give.Â
âI will speak with him.â Chradhâs warm voice spoke in your mind. âBeathas and I know where your loyalties lie.â
You swallowed, turning your gaze over to Xaden as your thoughts drifted. When did your loyalties change? Was it the moment you stepped between Garrick and Alic? When the marked ones looked at you with wary kindness instead of open hatred? Or had it been earlier still? When you overheard your father discussing the wyvern and decided you couldnât sit by another moment without doing something about it? When you had decided you couldnât let the rest of the continent feel as helpless as you did trapped in that castle?Â
Xadenâs eyes widened, almost as if he could hear your thoughts, and he vanished into the darkness after Garrick.Â
Your father hadnât seemed to notice your distraction, but Haldenâs gaze was knowing . . . too knowing.Â
âIâm proud of your cunning, daughter.â He pressed another kiss to the top of your head. âKeep us informed.âÂ
He left you then, Halden following with a smirk.Â
Little did they know that was the last thing you would ever do.Â
At that moment, you decided you didnât want to wait anymore for Chradh to talk to Garrick. You needed to find him, explain to him that you had no loyalty to your family. Your loyalty was to him, to Xaden . . . to the people whoâd helped you become someone you could finally be proud of.Â
You took off in the direction you had seen them disappear, but youâd barely made it around the building when a strong arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into the shadows. âYou need to give him space to calm down.â Xadenâs voice whispered in your ear.Â
Your breath caught.Â
You turned to face him, braced for the cold fury you remembered from your first months in Basgaith. The piercing look like you were something rotten under his boot. What you found there instead was softness and concern. You still had to say it. You needed to say it. âXaden I swear, I havenât said a word. I never will. Iâm done with my family, no matter what my father seems to think.â The words tumbled out too fast, breathless, afraid he wouldnât let you finish.Â
But he didnât interrupt.Â
When you stopped, he simply held your gaze.
âI know.âÂ
You froze for a second, thinking you must have misheard him, but after a couple of moments you realized you hadnât. âYou believe me?â You asked, your eyes wide in disbelief.Â
A smirk curved his lips, so familiar, but gentler than it used to be. âI do. Youâve never given me a reason not to.â His arm, that you had forgotten was wrapped around you, gave you a little squeeze. âYouâve made your intentions pretty clear.âÂ
You didnât know what to say. You had expected Xaden to be the hardest one to convince, but he hadnât. Heâd just . . . believed you.Â
âGive Garrick an hour,â he said gently. âHeâll realize heâs not thinking straight.âÂ
You nodded, trying to keep your emotions from leaking through, even as a shiver ran down your spine. His arm slid off your waist, his hand dragging slow and deliberate across your back . . . pausing at your hip, a whisper of pressure before it dropped away.Â
âIâm going to check on the others. Everyoneâs on edge.âÂ
You watched him turn to leave, your thoughts a mess of confusion and something else you didnât want to name.Â
Then he turned around, and you were even more shocked to see an actual smile on his face. âBy the way, good job putting your brother in his place. Itâs nice to see a little fire in you.âÂ
A laugh slipped from your lips, unbidden, because you knew he intended that double meaning.Â
His smile widened like heâd meant for that to happen. Then he vanished into the shadows, leaving you standing in the dark, unsure of what to feel . . .Â
It was about thirty minutes later when the gold warmth of Garrickâs bond wrapped around your mind again, gentle as a hand reaching out in the dark.Â
âWill it make you feel better if I call myself an idiot or if I let you do it?â His voice was sheepish and familiar and utterly him.Â
You couldnât help but smile. âNeither, but a hug would help.â You told him.Â
There was an immediate knock at your door.Â
You barely even had the chance to open it. Garrick stepped forward at once and wrapped his arms around you in a hug so tight you struggled to catch a breath.Â
You wouldnât change it for the world.
âIâm sorry,â he murmured into your hair.Â
You wrapped your arms tighter around him, something inside you finally loosening. His apology was everything you needed.Â
And in that moment, with your heart steady against his, you werenât thinking about what came next.Â
You knew you were exactly where you needed to be.Â
â-----------------
 Okay, so you might be a little drunk.Â
To be fair, when Garrick had handed you the bottle he did warn you that it was strong.Â
You just hadnât listened. You had never had more than a couple of glasses of wine at dinner before, and you had every right to celebrate right now.Â
You survived. Youâd made it through your first year of Basgaith with only minimal scarring and just a little major trauma. Part of you had wondered from the beginning if you were going to make it this far, and you could now say that you did.Â
You were proud of yourself.Â
You leaned your head back against the wall, letting the warm buzz settle through your limbs. The stars above looked a little blurry, but that only made them prettier.Â
You glanced at Garrick, still lounging beside you, laughing at something someone across the fire had said. Gods, you were grateful for him. Every time heâd made you laugh when you thought you were about to cry. Every shoulder he gave when you did. Every time he reminded you that you werenât just surviving, you were fighting. As terrifying and haunting the memory of your brotherâs death was, you couldnât find it in yourself to regret it.Â
It led you here.
âWell, look who it is.â Garrick said with his signature smile as a large shadow loomed over you.Â
You glanced up and your smile turned into a full grin as Xaden settled down next to you. âThought you didnât do parties, squad leader?â You teased, nudging his shoulder.Â
He shrugged his shoulders. âI was bored,â he said, accepting the drink Garrick handed him, but his eyes never left yours. âYou clearly are not.âÂ
âThis is my first time being drunk.â You told him with a pout, leaning back on your hands. âLet me live.âÂ
A ghost of his smile curved his mouth, gone as fast as it came. âFar be it from me to deny you an adult experience, Princess.âÂ
You rolled your eyes at the nickname, but a smile tugged at your lips anyway. Then you felt it, that familiar brush.Â
His shadow curled slowly around your thigh, like it was testing your skin for warmth.Â
You inhaled, suddenly aware of just how close he was sitting.Â
âIâm going to go get another drink.â Garrick said, rising to his feet. He smiled at you, but there was something too polished about it. âYouâre cut off.âÂ
You scowled. âBuzzkill. You just want to go hit on Natalie.âÂ
An emotion passed through his face, but it was so quick your brain didnât have the chance to interpret it. âHey, kill two birds with one stone.â Garrick said, giving a tight shrug. âWeâve got the next few days off. Might as well find someone to enjoy it with.â He turned before you could respond, disappearing into the dark.Â
That stung more than it should have.Â
Instead of focusing on it, you turned your attention back to Xaden. âI donât suppose I could sweet talk you into getting me another drink?âÂ
Xaden shook his head, âIf Garrickâs cutting you off, itâs for a good reason.âÂ
Yeah, they were probably right. Didnât mean you had to like it though.Â
You looked down, distracted as Xadenâs shadow tightened around your thigh, like a hand that didnât want to let go. âWhy do you always do that?â You asked, voice quiet. âWith your shadows?âÂ
He didnât answer at first. Just watched you with that unreadable stare you were still learning to translate. Xaden Riorson didnât offer information freely. But this time, he surprised you. âI thought the flirting was obvious.âÂ
You blinked.Â
Wait. What?Â
You must have misheard him. âYouâve been flirting?âÂ
He gave a small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in that frustratingly smug way.Â
âWith me?â You repeated, more incredulous than before.Â
âYouâre really making me question my flirting skills right now, Princess.â Xaden shifted to face you fully, amusement dancing behind those dark eyes.Â
Heat flooded your cheeks. Xaden could be sharp, even cruel, but he wasnât that cruel. If he said heâd been flirting . . . he meant it.Â
You fumbled for something to say. âYou should. Youâre terrible at it. I still think you hate me at least half the time.âÂ
âHalf?â His voice dipped lower, and your breath caught as he leaned the slightest bit closer to you. âYour percentage is off.âÂ
Were you leaning closer to? You definitely were, but who could blame you? Xadenâs eyes could draw in the tides from the moon. âOh? Is it seventy-five percent?â You murmured.Â
Xadenâs nose brushed yours and you forgot how to breathe all together. âMore like twenty-five.âÂ
Then, Xaden Riorson closed the distance between the two of you, and kissed you.Â
He tasted like mint and something darker underneath. His hand cupped your jaw with the kind of confidence youâd only ever associated with a man who knew exactly what he wanted, and that was you.Â
You hadnât expected it. Not really. Not from him.Â
But what shocked you more was that you didnât pull away. You let yourself lean in. Let yourself feel it.Â
And gods could he kiss.Â
Not in the earth-shattering, lose your mind way you mightâve imagined your first real kiss at Basgaith might feel, but it was firm. Heated. Certain. Like this wasnât new for him, and like he wanted it to be something new for you.Â
By the time he pulled away, you were breathless and maybe just a little obsessed with the taste of him. Your hands were fisted in his shirt, and you didnât even remember moving them.Â
âSo, does my kissing make up for my terrible flirting skills?â He asked, his voice low and a little smug.Â
You shook your head, fighting a grin as you gave him a light shove. âMaybe twenty-five percent of it.âÂ
Xaden didnât go far. He tugged you back against him until you were nestled against his side. âGuess youâll just have to help me practice that then.â He murmured near your ear, one of his hands sliding around your back to hold you close.Â
It was . . . nice.Â
You couldnât remember the last time someone had held you like this. Like they wanted you close. Like they werenât afraid to be seen doing it.Â
And Xaden, gods, he was warm, solid. Safe in a way you hadnât realized youâd been craving.Â
You rested your head on his shoulder, placing your own hand on his knee and giving it a squeeze. âI think that can be arranged.â You whispered, heat flooding your cheeks as you felt him press a sweet kiss to the top of your head.Â
Your eyes flickered back across the circle to collide with Garrickâs.Â
His jaw was tense. Eyes unreadable.Â
But as soon as he saw you watching, his expression shifted. Softened. The tightness eased from his shoulders. He didnât look away. A breath later, his presence wrapped gently around your mind. âYou want this, sweetheart?â His voice, quiet and steady, echoed in your thoughts.Â
Xadenâs hand continued its slow path along your spine. You curled closer without meaning to.Â
âYeah,â you replied, your voice smaller in your own head. âI think I do.â
You watched as Garrickâs shoulders dropped with the weight of your words. A small smile curved his lips, but it didnât quite reach his eyes. âI canât think of a better person for you.âÂ
And for a moment, you hated how much it sounded like a goodbye.Â
â-----------------
You were surprised how easy it was. How naturally you slipped into a relationship with Xaden Riorson like the two of you had been in one all along. There wasnât much of a shift between friendship and something more. There was just an ache of awareness. You started looking for him in every room, waiting for the whisper of his shadows to brush against your skin, craving his kisses like a secret.Â
Yet, even in that closeness, a space started to grow, small at first. Easy to ignore until you couldnât anymore.Â
You started to realize how often Xaden Riorson disappeared.Â
As second years, you now had weekends off. It was a perk that youâd been looking forward to, along with finally being able to write Cam, and something that you thought youâd be enjoying with Xaden. Except almost every weekend, youâd never been able to find him. When you asked him about it, he shrugged you off and suggested you hadnât been looking for him in the right places.Â
At first, you didnât let it bother you. After all, whenever the two of you made official plans, he was always there, occasionally late, but there. You told yourself not to be suspicious. You had no real reason to be, but your mind kept turning, piecing together moments you hadnât thought twice about before. They left gaps.Â
Then something else clicked. Garrick was always gone around the same time Xaden was. Youâd never tracked his whereabouts before, something you could easily do with your bond, but now you realized he vanished almost exactly when Xaden did.Â
Youâd bet all the money in the Tauri vault that they were doing something together, and it was so far away you couldnât feel him when they were gone. The silence unsettled you. When the bond went dark, it felt like someone had ripped a vital thread from inside you. You hated how empty it made you feel, how vulnerable.
You were determined to figure out why.Â
It was a weekend now, and the bond had lit up again, informing you of Garrickâs return without a word from your dragon. You let it guide you towards him, something your dragons had taught you how to do, citing that it would be an advantage in battle. You had to admit it was helpful now as you traveled down the steps of your dorm, following the path of gold.Â
Until two infantry cadets stepped in your way, blocking you from moving further.Â
Your heart leapt into your throat. There was only one reason infantry cadets would be in the Riderâs Quadrant, and your suspicions were confirmed when Halden made his appearance, jaw clenched and eyes cold.Â
âYou know, I always knew you were weak, but I never realized how easily youâd spread your legs for a traitor.â He said, but you noticed he didnât take a step towards you, to touch you.Â
While his presence had your heart racing, you knew you couldnât show an ounce of fear or anger. Heâd just use it to his advantage. âAt least I didnât have to sleep my way to a passing mark. Please tell me Violet Sorrengail kicked you in the balls when she caught you.âÂ
Yeah, maybe he heard about you and Xaden, but youâd heard about him too.Â
His jaw tensed, and you could see the battle in his eyes to keep calm. Something heâd never been good at, but it seemed your warning from last time held. âDo you really think the traitorâs son sees you as anything more than a way to get close to this family?â He finally took a step forward, but you refused to yield any ground. âAs soon as he has what he needs, heâs tossing you to the wolves, and our father will have your head.âÂ
It took everything in you not to flinch, not to show Halden how many times youâd actually considered that possibility only to be told by Beathas that it would never happen.Â
âAnd my answer remains the same,â her voice spoke in your mind, always watching, always providing support. âHeâs testing your armor, brave one. Searching for a crack. Do not give him one.âÂ
She was right.Â
Instead of answering his question, you raised your eyebrows at him. âAnd what is it he wants to know, Halden?â You let your finger drag over one of the handles of the dagger strapped to your chest. It was a special dagger that your father had given you as a parting present before you left for Basgaith.Â
You knew what it did.Â
Just like you knew Halden had a matching one strapped to his chest.Â
His smirk was vicious. A viper waiting to strike. âThis is a warning, sister.â He hissed. âI wonât let you jeopardize my crown with your pathetic attachments.â He spat the last word like poison. âIâll end them, if I have to.âÂ
âBecause that worked out so well for Alic.â You snapped.Â
You hadnât meant to say it, but it slipped out before you could stop it. Haldenâs answering smirk made your stomach twist.Â
âThe difference is, I always get what I want.âÂ
Beathasâs growl echoed in your mind as Halden walked away, nodding for the cadets to follow him.Â
You stood there for a moment, trying to calm your heart even as panic threatened your mind. âDid he just imply that he would destroy Garrick and Xaden?â You asked Beathas, making sure you hadnât been the only one to hear the veiled threat.Â
âIf I ever see your brother I will flay him alive.â The rage in her voice coiled around you, hot and unforgiving.
You took that as a yes.Â
You had to find Garrick and Xaden, now, before Halden made good on his threat.
It didnât take long for the gold thread of your bond to pull you across the courtyard and down a narrow corridor -Â
Right to the weapons inventory?
âYou have to tell her. I hate lying to her.â Garrick snapped, his voice sharper than youâd ever heard it.Â
âDo you think I like it either? Fuck Garrick this isnât just black and whiteâ From the exasperation in Xadenâs voice, you had the feeling this wasnât the first time theyâd had this argument.Â
âIt is. Sheâs your fucking girlfriend man. She deserves to know where you are. Where we are.âÂ
You. They were talking about you.Â
âDo you trust her?âÂ
Your breath caught. Did he?
âOf course I trust her, or I wouldnât be in a relationship with her.â Xaden hissed back at him.Â
Your heartbeat settled a little.Â
âThen you better tell her, or I will.â Garrick said, and your heart stuttered again at his words. You never would have thought he cared for you enough to go up against his best friend from pretty much birth.Â
âHe cares for you deeply, Princess. More than you know.â Beathasâs voice curled softly down the bond.Â
âI donât think youâll have to, considering sheâs on the stairs eavesdropping on this whole conversation.â Xaden interrupted your thoughts.Â
What? How the hell did he . . . Your eyes followed a shadow, gliding across the last few stairs and slipping around the corner like a wisp of smoke. You followed it to find Garrick and Xaden staring at you. Xadenâs face was carefully composed into a blank mask, meanwhile Garrick couldnât hide the guilt in his. âIs it still eavesdropping when the conversation is about you?â You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â Garrick asked, but the second your brows lifted, realization dawned across his face. âYou followed the bond.âÂ
âI was coming to find you, and then I got accosted by my brother -â
Xaden stepped closer, his face turning concerned, âHalden? Did he touch you?â but you put a hand up to stop him from getting any closer.Â
âNo. He threatened the two of you. Implied that he was going to end both of you if he had to, so of course I came to find you immediately.â Your eyes flicked to Garrick, sharp as a blade. âBecause I donât keep secrets from the people I care about.âÂ
Guilt darkened Garrickâs expression, and for a moment, you hated the way your heart twisted for him. He hadnât deserved the jab. He was the one trying to pull Xaden toward honesty.
But hurt didnât care about fairness.Â
Then you looked over at Xaden. His face was a wall, every trace of concern wiped clean, replaced by that infuriating, unreadable mask. âGood to know that you trust me enough to sleep in my bed at night, but not enough to trust me with your whereabouts.â When his face didnât change, and he didnât move a muscle, you let out a scoff deciding that you had more than enough.Â
You turned on your heel, anger burning in your chest, but you didnât make it far. A band of shadow slid around your waist, velvet soft and unmistakably firm. You froze.Â
âXaden Riorson,â you growled, not bothering to hide the fire in your voice. âI swear -â
âGarrick, give us a minute.â Xaden said, stepping towards you.Â
âI think Iâll stay,â Garrick said quietly, but firmly. âUnless she tells me to go.â Â
Xadenâs jaw tightened, but he didnât take his eyes off of you. âApparently my best friend needs to hear it from you, Princess.â His voice was low. Controlled. But his shadows were already coiling tighter.Â
You let yourself sink into the bond for a moment, speaking to him where Xaden couldnât hear. âItâs fine, Gar. You might want to go check and make sure none of Haldenâs guards followed me anyway.âÂ
âAre you sure?â He asked, and you glanced over at him to find him looking at you, his shoulders set stubbornly. He would stay, you realized. Even if Xaden told him to go, he would stay for you if you wanted. That simple truth sent a warmth blooming in your chest, steadying you.
âIâm sure,â You said, even though it was a lie.Â
When he was gone, you turned your attention back to Xaden, and he dropped his shadow from you. You held his gaze, but his eyes dropped to the dagger at your chest. The one your father had given you. He tapped it with his finger once, then looked back up at you. âDo you know why that dagger is different from your others?âÂ
You swallowed, but nodded. You knew what that dagger did, and what it killed.Â
Did Xaden?Â
âWeâre making more of them,â he said, pulling out a dagger from his own belt, one made of the same alloy. âAnd giving them to Poromiel.âÂ
The words hit like a blow to the chest. Your heartbeat stuttered, then pounded so violently it was all you could hear.Â
They werenât just flying under the radar. They were smuggling classified weapons.Â
They were committing treason.Â
Gods what the hell were they thinking? If they got themselves caught, there wasnât even anything you could do to help them. Xaden would be killed. Garrick would follow.Â
You wanted to scream at him. For being reckless. For dragging Garrick into this. For making you care so godsdamned much about someone who clearly didnât care about his own life. But yelling wouldnât change him. You knew that. Youâd always known that. The only thing that could possibly protect them from getting caught was . . .Â
You.Â
You knew exactly what your brother would watch for. Youâd grown up learning your fatherâs tactics. How he hunted, how he punished. If they started to close in, maybe you could misdirect them. Maybe you could draw their gaze somewhere else. If you couldnât save Xaden and Garrick after they got caught . . . maybe you could stop it from happening at all.Â
âYou have to let me help.âÂ
Xadenâs eyes flashed dangerously. âNo.âÂ
You narrowed your eyes at him. âDo you have any idea how much help I could be for this? I know all the ways they could possibly catch you-â
âAnd your brother is clearly out to get you,â Xaden interrupted. âWhich makes you a target.âÂ
âSo what, Iâm supposed to hide while you and Garrick get yourselves killed?â You shot back.
He didnât flinch, but his eyes darkened.
. . . You hated that he had a point.Â
Crossing your arms over your chest, you didnât take your eyes off him. âI can handle my brother. I think Iâve proved that several times now.âÂ
Xadenâs face softened the slightest bit, and you couldnât help but melt a little yourself as he cupped your cheek. âI know you can, but you know what he has access to. He can have you followed all the time. Itâs easy for Garrick and I to slip away. Not you.âÂ
Once again, you hated that he was right. With Xadenâs shadows and Garrickâs second signet . . . they could disappear in moments. You didnât have that luxury. All youâd wanted since the moment you stepped into the Riderâs Quadrant was to matter. To help. And here was the opportunity, right in front of you. A way to do something that counted. Yet, you were helpless.Â
Again.
Left out of the decision making from the two people you had learned to trust most in the world. Your boyfriend. Your best friend.Â
You took a step back from him, shaking your head. âYou still should have told me.âÂ
âI should have, or Garrick should have?â Xaden asked, raising his eyebrows.Â
You had to fight back the urge to roll your eyes. âMy boyfriend,â You shoved him lightly in the chest. âWho trusts me should have. Donât try to blame other people for your mistakes, Xaden Riorson. Itâs beneath you.âÂ
A flash of regret crossed his face before it was back to the stoic expression you knew.Â
âAnd donât bother coming to my room tonight.â You stepped back. âWouldnât want Halden catching you in the act of caring.â You said, and then turned on your heel, leaving him behind in the dark room.Â
Youâd barely made it outside when a large form came out from the shadows, startling you for a moment before you realized who it was. âI wanted to tell you.âÂ
You let out a sigh, but kept walking. âI know you did. I heard that part. Doesnât mean I canât be pissed at you.âÂ
Garrick fell into step beside you, putting his hands in his pockets. âYou can be pissed at me, but Xaden . . . he was trying to protect you in his own fucked up way.âÂ
A laugh left your lips, but there was no humor in it. âYouâre right, it was fucked up, and Iâm not in the mood to listen to you defend him right now.âÂ
Garrick didnât say anything for a moment, but kept pace with you all the way to your room. Once you put your hand on the door knob, you felt his presence wrap around your mind. âIâm sorry. I should have told you about this a long time ago. Before you and Xaden even became a thing.âÂ
Funny, how Garrick always managed to find the words. Even when it hurt. Even when Xaden didnât.Â
You turned back to face him after opening your door. âListen, Iâm pissed off. I get why you didnât tell me. Doesnât mean Iâm okay with it.â You took a step inside your room. âSo just give me that time to be pissed off, and leave me alone until I can stop being hurt about it.âÂ
Garrick looked stricken once more at your words. âI swear I wasnât trying to hurt -â
âPlease, Garrick. I need time.â Your voice was soft, pleading, despite the anger still sizzling in your veins.
After a heartbeat he nodded, even though it seemed like the last thing he wanted to do.Â
You shut the door on him, but couldnât bring yourself to block him out completely with the bond. Instead, you turned to your dragonâs emerald bond. Beathas had been uncharacteristically quiet during that whole interaction, and it didnât take a scribe to know why. âThat goes for you too. I know you canât tell me your mateâs secrets, but I donât like being kept in the dark.âÂ
Beathasâs voice was warm when she responded, not judging your anger at all. âI understand, Princess, but know this. If Chradh, his rider, or I had any choice in the matter, you would have been told long before now.â Â
You believed her.
But the ache didnât go anywhere.Â
â-----------------
Your feet hurt, your stomach growled, and you were sweating like youâd just gone five rounds on the sparring mat.Â
At five a.m., someone had dragged you out of bed and tossed a bag over your head. Next thing you know you were in the middle of a grassy field with Garrick and two infantry cadets for company. There Professor Grady had told you that your squad had been split up into three parts, and your job was to find each other.Â
In the middle of the forest. With nothing but a map.Â
You were miserable, but honestly it wasn't different from most days lately.
It had just become harder to tell whether it was the training or everything else making you feel this way.Â
Glancing over the map again, your eyes kept drifting to Garrick. Gods, you missed him. You hadnât shut the bond. Not once, but heâd never tried to talk to you through it either. You couldnât blame him for that. After all, he was only giving you what you asked for.Â
Youâd never realized how woven into your life he was, until he wasnât anymore.Â
âWhy do you constantly avoid all the easy ways to fix your problems?âÂ
Yeah, your silent treatment with Beathas had lasted a grand total of about six hours.Â
âIâm still mad at him. At both of them.â Even if that anger had dulled into something more like disappointment. Or loneliness. Or maybe just stubborn pride.Â
You hadnât spoken to Xaden either. He wasnât one to show his emotions, so you werenât surprised that he hadnât done anything to show that he missed you. You had caught him glancing at you on more than one occasion though. Not to mention the stray shadow youâd seen lingering a little closer than natural. You didnât know what was worse. That he was still watching, or that you wanted him to.Â
âItâs been two weeks. Would you please just put my rider out of his misery? The amount of ridiculous plans Iâve had to listen to about getting you to forgive him-â
âChradh!â Beathas chided her mate.Â
Chradh didnât often speak to you, but it was almost always a pleasure when he did.Â
As if Garrick could sense you were talking about him, those hazel eyes shifted to you, and he gave you a tentative smile when he caught you looking.Â
You returned it, but quickly turned your eyes back to your map.Â
You couldâve sworn you heard Chradh groan, long suffering and dramatic. Dragon patience only went so far.Â
You tried to refocus on the map, but land navigation had never been your strong suit. Translating paper to terrain was a special kind of hell.Â
It would help if the infantry cadets would do anything besides sneaking glances at you and whispering to each other. It was almost like they were waiting for something.Â
âYouâre holding the map upside down.âÂ
You looked up. Garrick stood in front of you, that tentative smile tugging at his lips as he gently reached out and rotated the map. Your fingers brushed, and you pulled your hand back, ignoring the warmth that followed. âI knew it was supposed to be like that.â You muttered, even though the heat rising in your face betrayed you.Â
He raised his eyebrows, but one of those dimples threatened to appear with his smile. âSo you were just trying to get us lost for fun?âÂ
You shrugged, âSomeone should enjoy this. Amari knows theyâre not.â You said, nodding your head over to the other cadets who were now glaring at you.Â
He hesitated. Then, like sunlight through clouds, you felt the amber warmth of him wrap around your mind. It almost made you sigh in relief. Finally, he was here. âI miss you.âÂ
You couldnât lie to him. Not when he was looking at you like that. Like heâd give anything to earn your forgiveness. âI miss you too.â You whispered down the bond. âBoth of you.âÂ
Garrick swallowed hard, his smile dimming at your words, but he didnât pull away. âXadenâs been irritatingly grumpy while youâve been ignoring us too.âÂ
You raised your brow at him. âHow is that any different than normal?â Your tone was teasing, but you couldnât help but be a little relieved to learn that Xaden wasnât as fine with your fight as he appeared.Â
âIf youâre not willing to forgive me yet, at least talk to him? For my sake?â Garrick pleaded.Â
It struck you again, Garrickâs quiet, infuriating compassion. Even now, when you hadnât spoken in weeks, he wanted you to talk to Xaden. Even if it meant you still ignored him.Â
You really hoped that Xaden realized what an amazing best friend he had.Â
âIâll consider it.â You answered softly down the bond, reaching out to squeeze his forearm.Â
He didnât say anything. He just smiled, and it almost made you want to forgive him on the spot.Â
âSo thatâs it?â one of the cadets snapped, yanking you and Garrick out of the quiet bubble youâd slipped into. âYou got us lost?âÂ
You opened your mouth to respond, pissed that you were getting blamed, when Garrick spoke before you could.Â
âItâs not her fault. Weâre supposed to be working together, and all youâve done is stand there, stare at her, and whisper like cowards. Whatâs your problem?âÂ
So you werenât the only one who noticed their staring either.Â
But they didnât flinch. Didnât back down. If anything, they looked relieved. Like this was the moment theyâd been waiting for.Â
You watched with wide eyes, as the two started pulling out their weapons from their sheaths, the one on the left pulling out two small daggers while the one on the right pulled out a longsword. âOh, we donât have a problem,â the one with the longsword said, voice like ice. âWe have a mission.âÂ
Your stomach dropped.Â
Oh gods. Halden. What the hell had he done?
The one on the left bared his teeth. âThis is for Alic.â His eyes burned with nothing but fury and hate.Â
Then they lunged.Â
You didnât think. You moved. Training took over. You were just close enough to Beathas to speak to her, but not close enough to draw power. You were sure it was the same for Garrick. You knew this would have to be a combat situation. You drew your daggers in a single heartbeat, dropped into a roll beneath his swing, and slashed at his ankles.
He jumped before you could make contact, turning around and charging towards you again.Â
It took everything in you not to glance toward Garrick. Not to check if he was bleeding, breathing, still standing. But the bond between you pulsed, steady and alive. That had to be enough. You knew how good of a fighter he was. He could handle this.Â
You could handle this too.Â
You shut out everything, even Beathas shouting down your bond that she and Chradh were on their way, and focused entirely on your attacker. You studied the angle of his swings, the way he moved. He was stronger, but slower. His swings were wild, more strength than skill.Â
You could work with that.Â
You stayed close. Low. Fast. You let him do all the work, knowing that as time passed, heâd only get more frustrated and slower. Thatâs when you could strike.Â
Just like Xaden had taught you.Â
Gods you hoped you lived long enough to tell him thank you.Â
A grunt of pain cracked through your focus. Garrickâs.Â
You looked. His sword was gone, flung to the dirt. His attacker had cornered him.Â
Panic seized you.Â
Not Garrick. Please, not him. Anyone but Garrick.Â
You didnât have time to come up with a plan, to go through all the options. Your opponent was stumbling towards you after youâd made a painful cut across his calf, but Garrick was more important. âGARRICK!â You threw down the bond.Â
He turned just in time to catch the dagger you flung his way.
You had a single heartbeat of relief.Â
Then pain exploded.Â
Your other dagger went flying as your hand bent the wrong way under the force of a brutal kick.Â
You were pretty sure something snapped.Â
You didnât scream. Couldnât. Pain could wait. Survival couldnât.Â
You dropped fast, clawing for the dagger with your good hand. Your fingers grazed cold metal -Â
Then he was on you.Â
His weight crushed you. Your hand was pinned between your bodies, and pain burst down your arm as he grabbed your hair and slammed your head toward the dirt.Â
White light invaded behind your eyes. Everything blurred, until you saw the dagger glinting above you, catching the sunlight. Your attacker raised it overhead, both hands gripping the hilt. âGoodbye, marked fucker.â He spat.Â
Beathas roared.Â
Garrick screamed your name.Â
But you moved first.Â
The silver dagger was already in your hand, and you drove it into his side.Â
He stared at the wound like he couldnât believe it. You yanked the blade free and drove it in again.Â
And again.Â
And again.Â
You didnât stop. Couldnât. Even as tears blurred your vision. Even as he dropped the knife and collapsed on top of you, dead.Â
Your mind still screamed: danger!Â
You didnât even hear Garrickâs repeated yell of your name until he tore the cadetâs body off of you and pulled you into his arms.Â
The knife fell from your hand the second his arms wrapped around you.Â
You grabbed his shirt instead, bloody and torn, and held on like it was the only thing keeping you from drowning. Â
In a way, it was.Â
A moment ago, your mind was screaming, danger. Now, it whispered something else.Â
Safe.Â
 You shattered.Â
Every moment of terror you shoved aside came crashing down. Garrick cornered. The horror, the rage, the disbelief that your brother had set you both up to die. Sobs tore through you as you buried your face in his chest, repeating how sorry you were over and over. This was your fault. Once again, Garrick had almost been killed due to the actions from someone in your family.Â
How many more would it take before he abandoned you?Â
The thought made you cling harder, as if holding tight enough could keep him here. As if you could anchor him with just your hands.Â
Garrick didnât let go. Not for a second. He shushed you softly, and you could feel his heart pounding against your ear. His breath was shaky as he pressed his face into your hair. He rocked you gently, arms so tight around you that you knew youâd have bruises.Â
You didnât care.Â
âI thought he had you.â Garrick whispered, his voice raw. âGods I thought he had you.â He choked.
âI thought he had you too,â you cried, clutching at him with your good hand. If you could have pressed yourself entirely into him, you would have. Just to feel, to know that he was still breathing. When heâd been cornered, youâd let yourself imagine it. A world without Garrick.Â
Empty.Â
Garrick leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours, using one of his hands to brush your tears away, and then he cupped your cheek.
You leaned to his touch without thinking, drawn to him like gravity. His hazel eyes held yours. You couldnât look away. You didnât want to.
He said your name so softly, so gently, as if he spoke it too loudly it would startle the trees. âI canât -â
A frantic yell broke through the trees behind you. Wild, panicked, shattered.Â
Xaden.Â
Oh gods. What if theyâd gone after him too?
âXaden!â You screamed, tearing yourself from Garrickâs arms and sprinting toward the sound of his voice right as he broke through the trees.Â
His shadows caught you first, slipping around you in that silken way youâd come to love. A breath later, his arms wrapped around you, trembling. The tears came again, sharper this time, as he pressed his lips to your head and slid a hand into your hair, holding you tight against his chest. âItâs okay,â he whispered into your hair. âIâve got you.âÂ
You let him hold you, closed your eyes, and breathed him in until the sobs finally faded. Then, slowly, you turned your head, finding him in an instant.Â
Garrick.Â
The look on his face, so raw, so wrecked, tore something deep inside you open.Â
â-----------------
When they arrived at the weapons inventory, you were already there, waiting.Â
Xaden dropped his empty bag at the door with a dull thud and barely looked at you before turning to Garrick. âI assume this is your doing.âÂ
Garrick didnât flinch. âI told you. Iâm done keeping this from her.â He told him, not an ounce of regret in his tone.Â
âThank you,â you whispered softly down your bond with him. Then you turned to your boyfriend, your voice firm. âWe have to talk.âÂ
Garrick gave your shoulder a final squeeze before slipping out, the silence he left behind louder than the storm in your chest.Â
âGuess itâs too much to hope for a, âglad youâre still alive kissâ?â Xaden asked, voice light, but eyes still watching you too closely.Â
Until that day in the woods, that mightâve been what would have happened. You would have eventually forgiven Xaden for keeping this from you. The two of you would have gone back to normal. You would have given him a bright smile, thrown your arms around his neck and let him kiss you and fuck you until you couldnât think.Â
Then your brother tried to kill you.Â
Now all you could think about was fighting back.Â
âI canât just sit here and do nothing, Xaden. There has to be something I can do.â Your voice cracked, half plea, half defiance.Â
He was shaking his head before you could even finish. âYou canât.âÂ
âYes I can!â You protested. âI want to help! I want to feel like Iâm doing something!âÂ
âDo you want to help?â Xaden stepped forward, towering over you. âOr do you want revenge?âÂ
The words struck like a slap. You flinched before you could stop yourself.Â
You felt his cool shadows against your skin, tilting your chin up so you had to look into his dark eyes. âI donât hold it against you. Iâm not sure I wonât kill him outright after what he did to you and Garrick if I ever see him.âÂ
He was partially right. You knew that. There was a small, dark, part of you that craved revenge for your sake and Garrickâs against your brother.Â
But it wasnât everything. It wasnât the most important part.Â
âThis is why I joined the Riderâs Quadrant, Xaden.â You tried to reason with him. âI wanted to get out of that prison of a castle and help the helpless. You can help me do that. Itâs all I wanted -â
âYouâre being selfish.âÂ
Of all the things that you had expected him to say, that hadnât even crossed your mind.Â
âThereâs more at play other than what you want.â Xaden said, his voice hard, final. âYou donât even realize what youâre asking when you say you want to help.âÂ
You stiffened. âDo you really think I donât get whatâs at stake?âÂ
âNo, you donât.â He interrupted sharply. âThere are still things you donât know about that are more important than either one of us -â Â
âSo tell me!â You didnât care if you were begging anymore. He had to see it. You know he did. The way his secrets were ripping the two of you apart. âStop being so self sacrificial and let me help you -!â
Xaden grabbed your shoulders, startling you. âYouâve seen the scars on my back.â He said, quieter now. âEvery one stands for a marked one.âÂ
Your eyes widened at the revelation. You had known they were a product of his fatherâs rebellion, but you hadnât known what they were for. âXaden . . .â You said softly.Â
âIf I let you into this, itâs not just me. Itâs not just Garrick. If youâre caught, if your brother, or father drags you into interrogation, it wonât stop with you. Youâll die, yes, but so will every single marked one Iâve fought to protect.â He let that hang between you. âIs that a weight you really want to carry?âÂ
His words didnât just land. They cut. Deep. Youâd been dating Xaden for almost a year now, and you had no idea the responsibility that was on his shoulders. Tears started heating your eyes, and you swallowed to try and keep them at bay as he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours.Â
His voice softened, shadows coiling faintly as his arms came around you again, like the moment could still be salvaged if he just held you tightly enough. âI care about you so fucking much, but I wonât risk all of them for you.âÂ
Those words? They were the ones that hurt the most.Â
Because you couldnât even be angry. Not when he was right.
â-----------------
It was cold. Colder than it shouldâve been for October, and you cursed yourself for not bringing your jacket. You hadnât been thinking about it, or anything at all really. In the moment, all you were concerned with was getting out.Â
Today, your cracked relationship with Xaden Riorson split wide open when his dragonâs mate bonded with none other than your brotherâs ex-girlfriend.Â
Violet Sorrengail.Â
It wouldnât have hurt so bad if you hadnât already seen the chemistry building. The way their eyes lit when they looked at each other. The way she loved fighting with him, verbal or physical. The way he gave it right back to her like it was giving him life. The little sparring match they had on the mat the other day confirmed it. There were sparks. Sparks that you and Xaden hadnât felt in a long time.Â
Maybe not ever.Â
You shivered, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself as you leaned against the stone wall, closing your eyes, doing everything you could not to let the tears fall.Â
âIt doesnât have to mean anything.âÂ
You werenât even surprised Garrick had found you. He always knew when you were hurting. âI feel like it does.â Your voice was barely louder than the wind.Â
He sat down beside you, and next thing you knew, your flight jacket was wrapped around your shoulders.Â
He had gotten it for you. Without even being asked.Â
âOur dragons are mated.â He said, as he settled in beside you, so close that the warmth from his side began to cut through the chill. âThat didnât stop you from falling for Xaden. And it sure as hell doesnât mean heâs falling for Sorrengail.âÂ
You glanced at him, tugging your jacket tighter around yourself like it could shield you from more than just the cold. âGarrick, you canât pretend you havenât noticed the tension. Everyone in the damn wing has. Newhall has been giving me pitying looks for weeks.â You murmured.Â
When you shivered again, Garrick wrapped his arm around your shoulder, holding you close to his side. âWell, first off, fuck her, and second of all, fuck all of them.âÂ
You couldnât help but smile a little at the utter conviction with which he spoke.Â
âYeah, maybe him and Sorrengail have some tension, but itâs the, âI want to kill youâ kind, not the âI want to kiss youâ kind.â He reassured you, as his hand started stroking up and down your arm. âAnd they donât have what you two have. History, years of knowing each other. It would take a hell of a lot to undo that.âÂ
A single, traitorous tear slipped down your cheek. âI donât think it would. A year ago, maybe. Now? It feels like one little storm could rip us apart.â You leaned over, resting your head on Garrickâs shoulder, soaking up his warmth like a balm. âI hate it.âÂ
âYou two are stronger than you think.â He whispered, resting his head on top of yours, pulling you even closer to his side.Â
You both sat in silence, just breathing, sinking into each otherâs presence like it could hold the pieces of you together. You wished you could borrow Garrickâs optimism, but it felt like you were drunk on the parapet, swaying, already bracing for the inevitable fall. Once it occurred, you wouldnât have a relationship with him anymore. You werenât even sure what you could be anymore. He and Garrick had become such huge parts of your life -Â
The thought rang throughout your head like two swords clashing together for the first time, and your heart immediately went into overdrive.Â
âIf I lose Xaden . . .â You hesitated, swallowed. âDo I lose you too?âÂ
You couldnât keep the words inside. You had to know. You and Xadenâs relationship ending would be a devastating blow, but Garrick? Your dragons were mated. He was your best friend. Garrick could read you and know what you need in moments without saying a word. He was one of the best parts of your life.Â
Him leaving would be like snuffing out the sun. Youâd be nothing but a cold, desolate land.Â
Garrick didnât hesitate. He didnât have to think about it. He answered almost as soon as the words left your lips. âAre you kidding?â Garrick pulled back just enough so that he could look into your eyes. âYouâre never getting rid of me, sweetheart. Iâd rather chop my own arms off than lose you. And you know Iâd do it too.â He said, giving your arm an extra squeeze.Â
The warmth in his voice, the steady affection in his eyes, made your heart stutter unevenly. Youâd never deserve this man. No matter how much good you did in the world, it would never be enough to earn Garrick in your life.Â
Gods help you if you ever lost him.Â
You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. This time you were unable to stop the tears as they fell. âI donât know what Iâd do without you, Garrick.â You murmured against his skin. âPlease . . . donât ever leave me.â You whispered.Â
Garrick kissed the top of your head, his hand slow and steady as it traced up and down your back. âNever.â He replied, his voice thick with emotion.Â
You closed your eyes, holding him tighter. Even if the world fell apart tomorrow, even if Xaden walked away, youâd still have this moment.Â
Youâd still have Garrick.Â
â-----------------
You had known it wasnât going to last, but gods . . . that didnât make it hurt any less.Â
From the moment that Xaden had pulled you aside, youâd known. Maybe it was intuition. Maybe it was the way his eyes wouldnât quite meet yours, the sadness coiled tight behind them. Maybe it was the way his shadows retreated from your presence. Maybe it was the quiet way he said your name, soft, like it might be the last time.
Or maybe youâd always been waiting for the other shoe to drop.Â
Xaden Riorson was never meant to be yours forever.Â
And now he wasnât yours at all.Â
Still, heâd been decent, even kind. He hadnât looked smug or relieved to be free of you, to finally be with her.Â
Instead, his regret had been real. His sadness had nearly undone you.Â
But his words shattered something inside of you.
âItâs Violet isnât it?âÂ
He didnât deny it. âYes.âÂ
You hated how collected he was. How gently he said it. âDo you love her?âÂ
Xadenâs onyx eyes pierced you, but when he finally answered, his voice was soft. âYou donât want me to answer that question.âÂ
You gave him a bitter smile, even as your world collapsed around you. âYou already did.âÂ
You knew Xaden. He would have admitted it if he didnât love her.Â
In a matter of months, Violet Sorrengail had done what you hadnât in a year and a half.
She made Xaden Riorson fall in love with her.Â
And you never could.Â
Gods, what was wrong with you?Â
âThere is nothing wrong with you, Princess.â Beathasâs voice, more gentle than youâd ever heard, whispered down the bond.Â
âI donât want to talk right now.â You snapped back, more harsh than you wanted to be when she was trying to help you, but she was wrong. There was some part of you that was broken. Something that clearly couldnât measure up to Violet.Â
âThat is not true -â
You slammed a wall down on your bond before she could say another word.Â
She could break through it if she really wanted to, but you knew that she would respect your privacy.Â
For now.Â
You had managed to find a quiet spot outside since it was well past curfew, and pressed your back against the wall. You didnât care if the cool stone chilled your skin as you slid down it. Any sensation other than pain would be welcome at this point.Â
You didnât want to be that person. The one that sobbed uncontrollably when her boyfriend broke up with her. The one that questioned every moment, every fight, that mightâve caused the implosion.Â
The one that wondered what she did wrong.Â
So much of your life youâd been considered weak, helpless. You couldnât let Xaden Riorson reduce you to that again.Â
But Gods, did it hurt so bad you felt like you couldnât breathe.Â
Your sobs started coming faster, and your hand clutched at your chest, pulling the fabric into your fist as you closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing, but you couldnât. All you could concentrate on was the hurt, the ripping of your heart to shreds as you walked away from him, and the hurt made breathing harder.Â
You were hyperventilating by the time you felt warm hands clasping your cheeks, thumbs brushing lightly under your eyes as if he could erase the tears before they fell.Â
âPlease . . . go . . . away.â You said, trying to take a gasping breath between each word. You refused to open your eyes. You didnât need to anyway. You knew who it was, and you didnât want him to see you like this.Â
âNo.â Garrick said, his voice soft and oh so tender, a little unsteady. Like seeing you hurt like this hurt him too.Â
âPlease,â you whispered again, shaking your head to try and dislodge his hands, but his fingers stayed, warm and steady against your skin, as though letting go wasnât an option.Â
He leaned in until his forehead was pressing against yours, and you shivered at the contact. âIâm not leaving you like this.â He opened his mouth like he was about to say something else, but closed it again, his jaw tightening.Â
âXaden-â Gods, even just saying his name felt like talons scraping down your vocal chords.Â
âI donât give a fuck about Xaden right now.â While his words were harsh, his voice was not. âHeâs not the one crying.âÂ
Garrick was right. Xaden wasnât crying over you like you were him. Why would he? He had Violet. He had gotten everything that he wanted.Â
And you were here crying to his best friend, scrambling to hold together the pieces of your shattered heart. âWhy?â You finally opened your eyes to look at him, even though he was blurry through your tears. âWhy wasnât I good enough for him?âÂ
His thumb brushed the tear track on your cheek, slow, deliberate, like he could wipe away the hurt itself. âI donât know whatâs going through his head right now, but I know one thing.â Garrick made sure you were still looking at him before he spoke. âYou were good enough for him.â He said, the words firm, but there was a break in his voice he didnât bother to hide. âMore than good enough for him and anyone else you decide to love.âÂ
The fragile grip you had on the remaining pieces of your heart loosened, and you threw yourself into Garrickâs arms. You sobbed into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, almost as if he could bring back the shattered pieces of your heart if he held you close enough.Â
You wished it was possible.Â
â-----------------
Your back hit the wall, and your head followed, the thud a dull echo in the quiet hall. You dragged in a slow breath, though it felt like it scraped your lungs raw. The last day had been nothing short of a nightmare. You had fought venin and wyvern, two people died, and watched your ex boyfriend unravel when he almost lost his current girlfriend.Â
Oh, and your father had disowned you and, for good measure, tried to have you killed.
You let out another sigh and opened your eyes. You couldnât stop yourself from looking through the narrow crack in the door. Inside, Xaden sat vigil at Violetâs bedside, shoulders hunched, jaw set, eyes locked on her as if sheer will might bring her back.Â
Youâd never seen him like that. So out of control. So . . . scared. Even when you and Garrick had almost been killed in the woods, he hadnât reacted like that. This wasnât the sharp, controlled Xaden you knew. This was a man terrified. Like losing her would tear something essential from his very soul.Â
It hurt. But not in the same way it would have months ago.
No, the sharper ache was seeing the man who used to be your friend, someone youâd once loved, look so utterly lost.Â
Before you could second guess yourself, you eased the door open and stepped inside.Â
Xaden didnât look up.Â
âIs she going to be okay?â You asked quietly.Â
A short nod.Â
âGood,â you said, biting your bottom lip, wrapping your arms around yourself. âI just thought Iâd check-â
âWhy are you here?â His voice was low, but when his eyes finally found yours, the question landed like a blow.Â
You didnât think youâd know how to answer, but surprisingly the words came to your lips without much thought. When it came to feelings, you and Xaden had been honest with each other through all of it. There was no reason it had to be different now.Â
âYou were my friend first, Xaden.â You said softly. âBefore you broke my heart.â You glanced at Violet for a moment, then back at him. âI wanted to make sure you were okay.âÂ
He stared at you in that familiar, unblinking way, like he was digging through your mind to try and figure out if you were sincere or not. Then his shoulders sagged, and you swore he aged ten years in the space of a breath. âI wonât be okay until she wakes up.âÂ
You nodded. You could understand that. âIs there anything I can do?âÂ
Xaden glanced over at Violet, then back at you. âCan you go check on Garrick? He was . . . He was close to Liam too. We all were.âÂ
Garrick.Â
You let your mind slip down that mental pathway, the one neither of you ever bothered to block. The wave hit instantly. Raw grief, jagged and suffocating. It caught in your throat like smoke.Â
âIâll go stay with him.â You promised, stepping toward the door.Â
You were nearly in the hall when Xadenâs voice stopped you. âThank you.âÂ
You just dipped your head in reply, too many words lodged behind your teeth.Â
It didnât take long to track Garrick down. The bond pulled you unerringly, each step tightening the ache in your chest until you rounded a corner and found him pacing outside the room youâd claimed for yourself.Â
âGarrick?âÂ
His head snapped toward you. Relief, sharp and unmistakable, flashed across his face, softening the hard line of his jaw.Â
The healers had tended him, but faint cuts and deep bruises still marked his skin. None of it compared to the exhaustion in his eyes.Â
And yet, when he looked at you, something else flickered there too. Something warm.Â
He drew in a breath, and the bond pulsed with it, raw, aching, and unguarded.Â
âI need you.âÂ
You didnât think. Your body reacted before you could overanalyze. Stepping forward, you cupped his bruised cheek, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble there. âIâve got you.â You whispered.Â
Garrick leaned into your hand without hesitation, the movement instinctive, like a man reaching for warmth in the cold. His lashes lowered, his breath hitching against your palm.Â
A single tear slid down his cheek. Through the bond, grief pressed against you, heavy and unrelenting, yet beneath it, something else flickered, quick and warm, gone before you could name it.Â
You guided him into your room, locking the door behind you as if to keep the rest of the world out. He let you steer him to the bed, silent, pliant, watching you like you were the only thing keeping him steady. With the most gentle touch you could, you helped him out of his boots, and then the straps with all his weapons attached, laying them carefully on the wooden table by your bed.Â
After brushing a curl from his forehead, you let your hand rest on his shoulder. âDo you want anything else?âÂ
He shook his head, but the look he gave you . . . Gods, he was looking at you with so much. It was heavy with things you couldnât quite read, things that made your chest tighten. Like you were his anchor in a storm he couldnât see the end of.Â
You didnât flinch from the weight of it. âOkay,â You murmured with a soft smile, before taking a step back.
But his hand shot out, gripping yours, calloused fingers trembling slightly. His eyes, shining, pleading, told you more than words ever could. Â
You placed your free hand on top of his, âIâm just going to get out of my leathers. Iâll be right back.âÂ
Garrick hesitated, then let go, slowly, reluctantly, his fingertips skimming yours until they had no choice but to part.Â
You didnât think youâd ever changed faster in your life, not wanting to leave him alone when hurt still bled through the golden path of his bond. In seconds, you were back, finding Garrick still sitting and waiting for you.Â
Giving him another soft smile, you climbed into bed, pulling back the blankets and patting the spot next to you. âCome on,â you said softly. âYou donât need an invitation.âÂ
For the first time since youâd seen him, Garrick gave you a tiny smile in return. He needed no more convincing, and settled down under the sheets with you.Â
You thought it might be weird, being in bed with him. Youâd known each other for a long time now, and part of that, youâd been dating his best friend, but you and Garrickâs relationship had always transpassed awkwardness.Â
It seemed like the easiest thing in the world to reach for his bicep and tug him over to you because he was already halfway there. His large arms wrapped around your waist, and he buried his face in the spot where your neck and shoulder met, his breath warm against your skin.Â
One of your hands drifted to his back, tracing lines and circles on his spine with your fingertips. The other buried in his soft curls like it was second nature, twisting the soft strands around your fingers and massaging the back of his scalp.Â
You felt any lingering tension in his body melt away as he tightened his grip around you, and the two of you just laid there like that for several moments, listening to the sound of each otherâs breaths. His had become so even, you thought he had fallen asleep.Â
But then, his head lifted, and your whole body froze when you felt the softest brush of his lips against your jaw.Â
It was barely there, and you werenât even sure if heâd done it on purpose, but it sent a ripple through you all the same. Heat bloomed under your skin, chasing down your spine. Your leg moved before you could think, hooking around his to keep him close, your fingers tightening in his hair.Â
âThank you,â he whispered, voice low and raw.Â
The sincerity in his tone, and the gratitude you felt pouring down the bond, almost knocked the breath from your lungs. Youâd never felt someone need you this much.Â
âAny time you need me, Garrick Tavis.â You whispered, back. Your words steady even as your heart pounded against his chest. âAny time you need me, Iâll be there.âÂ
He didnât answer. But you felt it, the faintest tremor in his arms before his grip on you tightened, like he didnât quite believe you, but desperately wanted to.Â
â-----------------
âFuck, this tastes horrible.â You coughed, forcing the ale down. âHow can you drink this?âÂ
Garrick was all dimples when he responded, âNot all of us grow up on the finest wines on the continent, Princess.â He took another sip, but even you could spot the slight wince as he did.Â
You gasped in outrage, pointing your drink at him accusingly, âYou liar! You canât stand it either!âÂ
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â He took another sip, and winced even harder.Â
You let your back rest against the cold stone wall, a smirk on your lips as you reached out to poke his stomach with your toes. âYour pants should be on fire for that, Garrick Tavis.âÂ
âThereâs a few ladies I know that will tell you my pants are on fire, but not because of that.â Garrick made a show of brushing his hair back from his face slowly, sending you a flirty wink.Â
A very unlady-like, drunken snort left your lips. âSounds like something you should get checked out. Not bragging about it.âÂ
He shook his head, easing his own back against the wall he was resting against. âI can always count on you keeping me humble, sweetheart.âÂ
You let the cold from the stone wall sink into your skin, a more genuine smile tugging at your lips as you watched him. His cheeks were flushed from the ale, his hair a wild mess from the wind, and his smile . . . gods, it had been too long since youâd seen that smile. One that wasnât weighed down by grief or duty.Â
It made something warm flicker in your chest.Â
âWhy are you looking at me like that?âÂ
His tone was teasing, but his eyes didnât leave yours. For a heartbeat, the easy grin faltered, softened into something quieter.Â
You shrugged, the alcohol making honesty feel easy. âI like seeing you so at ease. Havenât seen it in a while.âÂ
He continued to look at you, that unreadable look that made it a little harder for you to breathe still in his eyes. âHavenât seen you like this in a while either.âÂ
As the memories of the past few months flooded your mind, you looked away, trying not to let them drown you. So much had changed, and you still felt like you were treading water in a storm that refused to calm.Â
Xaden had fallen in love with someone else.Â
Then you had basically forced Xaden to take you on a mission that ended with you fighting venin and wyvern. A mission that ended not only with you discovering the truth about Aretia, but also death.Â
Only to discover that part of that mission had been an attempt by your family to have you killed for not giving them information about what the marked ones had been up to.Â
You had known there would be consequences for all the false information and avoided confrontations you had done, you just hadnât expected them to be that extreme.Â
You should have known better.Â
But youâd never forget the look on your fatherâs face when you appeared beside Garrick. Right before your name was called on the death roll.Â
Garrick was quiet for a long moment, rolling his mug between his palms. When he finally spoke, his voice was lower, rougher. âI think I owe you an apology.âÂ
Garrickâs voice startled you out of your memories, and you give him a confused look. âFor what? Sneaking us this horrible ale?âÂ
He shook his head, the smile fading from his lips. âFor . . . gods I don't even know. Everything?âÂ
You still didnât understand. âEverything?âÂ
âWith your family. For having to kill your brother because of me. That you now have to keep this huge secret.â He paused, like he didnât want to say the next words, âIf youâd never had to save me, Beathas might not have chosen you. Then everything wouldnât have happened with Xaden, and you wouldnât be stuck here forced to watch while he falls in love with some other girl.âÂ
The sight of Xaden and Violet together still hurt, it probably always would, but it didnât have the power to hollow you out anymore.Â
âIf you hadnât saved me that day . . . maybe your life wouldâve been easier.â He huffed out a humorless laugh. âNo Garrick Tavis dragging you into rebellions and heartbreak.âÂ
You couldnât help but blink at him, sure that youâd misheard. Garrick Tavis, doubting himself? The bond pulsed with guilt and uncertainty, so thick it made your chest ache.Â
âGarrick Tavis,â You paused, trying to find the right words. âDo you seriously think that Iâve ever thought for one second that my life would have been better without you in it?âÂ
He shrugged, dropping his gaze to his hands that he was running up and down his thighs. âWouldnât it?âÂ
It wasnât often that this side of Garrick showed himself. He was generally confident and sure in everything he did. It was one of the things you admired most about him, knowing you could never be that brave.Â
Seeing him like this? So unsure? And knowing that you were inadvertently part of it?Â
You hated it, and needed to clear it up immediately.Â
âNo,â You said quietly. âActually, my life really fucking sucked before you came along.âÂ
Those words made him meet your gaze, the smallest spark in his eyes.Â
âYouâve shown me friendship. Loyalty.â You hesitated, feeling your heartbeat pick up. âLove.âÂ
HIs gaze caught yours at that, something unreadable flicking in his eyes. The word hung between you, warm and dangerous.Â
âI never really had any of that before, other than with Cam. And Iâd do it all again. Over and over. Even though it led to all this.âÂ
You gestured around you to the cold, filthy walls of Samara.Â
âIâd rather be sitting here, drinking shitty ale with you than trapped in that palace with the finest wines and silk sheets any day.â You admitted, something other than the alcohol making your cheeks flush. âHere with you, itâs real.âÂ
He stared at you for so long you wanted to turn away, but you couldnât, caught in his gaze like a moth to the flame. âYou promise?â Garrick asked at last, his voice low enough to almost disappear between you.Â
You gave him a smile, holding your pinky finger out. âI donât just promise. I swear.âÂ
Garrick leaned forward, wrapping his much larger, warmer, finger around yours. âI swear to not make you ever regret it.âÂ
Before you could argue that you never would, no matter what happened, he stole all the breath from your lungs.Â
Because Garrick Tavis eased his head down, and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, closing his eyes with reverence as if you were Loial yourself, and he was a pilgrim come to worship.Â
Your eyes widened.Â
Your stomach flipped, dizzy with butterflies.Â
You were almost certain your heart forgot how to beat.Â
Gods . . . his lips were soft.Â
It wasnât like before, when heâd kissed your jaw so gently that you werenât sure if heâd meant to do it at all. No. This was deliberate.Â
And left you wonderstruck.Â
He opened his eyes, the green a sudden startling contrast against the brown as he looked at you. âOkay?â He asked, his thumb brushing over the spot his lips had just been.Â
You nodded before you could think, before you could breathe.Â
Because gods help you . . .Â
You were very much not okay.Â
â-----------------
Either sweat or blood dripped down your forehead. You didnât have the strength to check. Your skin was burned, inside and out. Around you, the fire youâd raised for protection collapsed into smoke and ash; the ground at your feet bleached to gray.Â
The venin advanced with slow, satisfied steps, studying you like a specimen. âIâll say this for you,â she purred, eyes roaming, âYou fight better than the pampered princess I was expecting.âÂ
âNot a Princess.â You forced the words out, each breath a rasp. Your hand found the hilt at your thigh and shook as you drew the dagger. âIâm a rider.âÂ
She tsked, and the gray earth crawled closer. âToo bad youâll be a dead one soon.âÂ
Images flashed in your mind. Beathasâs gold eyes and appraising expression as you stand in front of your dead brother. Xadenâs reluctant, dangerous grin, illuminated by a fire. Aaricâs tight hug, and the relief you felt when you realized you had at least one family member left that still loved you.Â
Garrick. His hazel eyes, and the way his lips had pressed to your knuckles like a benediction.Â
Your drew the knife back, ready to throw it with everything you had left, but -Â
You never got the chance.Â
The warmth that flooded your mind wasnât fire this time. It was steadier, quieter, amber instead of red, and it sank deep into your bones. You didnât need to see him to know. You felt him. You fell back against his chest,and his arm wrapped around you, helping to support your exhausted body.Â
At that moment, you knew you were safe.Â
Your dagger slid from your hand to Garrickâs in one smooth motion. The next heartbeat, it was thrown with not only deadly speed, but accuracy.Â
You didnât have to look to know that it met its mark.Â
You turned your head, gazing up into those gorgeous hazel eyes, looking down at you with the same relief that shone in yours. âYou didnât even let me throw it,â you rasped.
His fingers, now free from their weapon, slipped into yours. âYou were taking too long.âÂ
âSo sorry. Next time Iâll try to be faster.â You shot back.Â
Your breath caught as he turned you around and leaned down, his forehead resting gently against yours. His breath was uneven against your lips, and the world went quiet. The smell of smoke clung to him, but beneath it was that comforting smell youâd recognize anywhere. A scent that was purely him. âIâd really appreciate it.â He held your hand against his chest where you could feel his pounding heart against your fingers. âIâd hate for Beathas to burn me alive for letting her rider die.âÂ
You shouldnât have asked. You were terrified of the answer, but you couldnât stop yourself. âIs that the only reason?â You had to know. Were you overreacting? Were you imagining the looks, the touches - the kisses?Â
Did he . . . feel something more for you?Â
He hesitated for so long that you thought he wasnât going to answer. His emotions were so strong you felt them radiating down your bond. The leftover panic, the relief of being reunited safely, but then - there was something else. Something warm and sweet. It wrapped around you like a blanket, soft and comforting.Â
âNo,â he whispered, his hand flexing on your hip as if he was debating whether to pull you closer or not. âItâs not the only reason.âÂ
Your heart lurched. Your stomach twisted in knots, and your fingers clenched so tightly around his that your knuckles turned white. While he had been close before, he was suddenly much closer, and your eyes couldnât help but drift down to his lips. You could still feel the way that they had felt against your skin, and for a moment, just one moment, you wondered how they would feel pressed against yours.Â
His breath brushed your lips, close enough that your next exhale mingled with his. The world had gone silent. Everything seemed to hold its breath. One more inch. Thatâs all it would take. One more inch and you would know.Â
Then a dragonâs roar tore through the night.Â
It split the air, a sound so fierce it rattled through your bones. You flinched, the spell between you breaking as the ground itself seemed to tremble.Â
You didnât need Beathas to tell you it was Sgaeyl.Â
His hand tightened around you, not to pull you closer, but to steady you. For a breath, neither of you moved, the weight of what almost happened hanging between you like smoke.Â
âSomethingâs wrong with Xaden,â he said, and this time the panic in his voice wasnât for you.Â
You nodded, forcing your body to move even as your heart refused to. Because a part of you still felt the ghost of his breath on your lips, even as the night filled with dragonsâ cries.Â
____________________
Everyone knew that you took early morning runs. It was the one routine youâd never given up, and just because you were at Basgaith helping teach a combat course didnât mean that was going to stop.Â
What you didnât expect though was to find Violet Sorrengail waiting at the end of the trail. She looked out of place in the dawn mist, nervous, but still holding that quiet determination that always reminded you sheâd never really belonged to anyoneâs shadow.Â
You came to a stop, breathing hard from the run, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. The air between you wasnât hostile exactly. Just thick with everything that hadnât been said. Finally, you raised your waterskin, took a long sip, and said evenly. âCan I help you, Sorrengail?âÂ
Her fingers twisted around the strap of her satchel. âYou can actually.âÂ
You raised your eyebrows. You werenât sure what surprised you more, that Violet Sorrengail had the nerve to ask you for help, or that you said youâd hear her out.Â
Twenty minutes later, you found yourself sitting across from her over breakfast, your mind spinning with all the new information sheâd just told you about their last brief mission. âI canât say Iâm surprised by the fact that Halden almost got you all killed.â You said with a shrug. âYou know his temper as well as I do.â You looked down at your plate, moving some of the food absentmindedly.Â
She nodded, and even though you could feel her eyes on you, you didnât look up. âHeâs going to get himself killed, or us if he keeps going on these missions.â She said, but there was an undercurrent to her voice that had your awareness sparking.Â
âProbably,â You admitted, biting your lip, âbut you have to have a royal representative right?â You asked, still fiddling with your food even as your anxiety rose.Â
It was several heartbeats before she spoke again. âYes, but . . . it doesnât have to be him.âÂ
You froze.Â
She couldnât possibly be thinking of you -Â
âIf youâre implying what I think you are.â You placed your fork down. âI donât think itâs a good idea.âÂ
âYou think I want to ask you?â She leaned forward and whispered the words so no one else could hear. âI know how awkward it is. But Xaden still listens to you. Even if he wonât admit it. And I know youâre probably the smartest out of all the Tauri children. Youâre not going to trigger Xaden like he will.âÂ
You swallowed thickly as a wave of grief washed over you. Knowing how much Xaden had put at risk for everyone still made you feel sick to your stomach.Â
âI understand that you donât want to be around us, but youâre still our best option -â
Your eyes flashed to hers, irritation flickering in your mind. âDo you really think Iâm that shallow?â You snapped at her. âAll Iâve cared about for a long time is Xadenâs happiness. Gods, Iâve seen enough of him to know that he deserves it.âÂ
Violet nodded like the two of you had come to some sort of agreement. âThen youâll step in as the royal representative?âÂ
You shook your head in disbelief. âYouâre more like Mira every day, do you realize that?â You crossed your arms over your chest. âItâs a terrible idea. My family is already pissed at me. Both my father and Halden have tried to have me killed. Do you really think they wonât try again? Maybe itâll even be easier if Iâm outside the wards?â The words stung your chest, but you knew they were true. âAnd what if the rest of you are caught in the crossfire?âÂ
âWeâre going to be in it either way.â Violet said, her tone calm, but her eyes pleading. âThe question is whether youâll be at our side or sitting on the sidelines watching and hoping Aaric and Garrick come back unscathed.âÂ
Her words made your heart plummet right to your chest. Aaric and Garrick? They couldnât possibly be . . .Â
Almost as if she could read your mind, Violet spoke again. âAaric is determined to go if you donât, and you know as well as I do that none of us are able to stop him if thatâs what he wants.âÂ
Gods, she was right.Â
âAnd Garrick . . . I need someone there to help keep an eye on Xaden.âÂ
Your hands started to shake on the table. You should have assumed this was coming. There was a limited number of people who knew about Xadenâs . . . condition, and you should have known someone else that knew would have to go to help keep him in check. âHow long?â Your voice was barely audible, even to your own ears.Â
But Violet heard you anyway. âAt least a month.âÂ
A month.Â
A whole month without knowing if your brother, your last true remaining family member was still alive.Â
A month without Garrick at your side.Â
You wanted to say no. You almost did.Â
But your chest felt like it was caving in, ribs tightening until every breath scraped raw. Going that long without knowing . . . It would be like trying to survive without lungs to breathe in any air.Â
You couldnât do it.Â
âWhen do we leave?âÂ
____________________
You didnât like this place. No matter how beautiful the beaches were.Â
For one, not being able to talk to Beathas left a giant void in your chest, and it was only made worse by not being able to sense Garrick as well. He was a quiet, constant awareness you hadnât realized youâd come to depend on until it was gone. You found yourself looking for him and reaching for his touch as if you needed to be reminded that he was there.Â
Thankfully, he seemed happy to oblige, reassuring you with a hand on the small of your back or a brush of his fingers against yours. It eased your mind, but not enough.Â
This place reminded you too much of home. Beautiful, but hollow beneath the surface. Everything was monochrome, and nothing but the ocean stood out. It made you uneasy, and eager to get out of here.Â
Finding out Xadenâs mother was here only made it worse.Â
There were similarities in their appearances, but as you looked at her, you couldnât help the flash of anger that burned through you, sharp and protective on Xadenâs behalf, pissed off that he had to find out his mother had a whole other family this way. A family that she seemed to have happily left him for.Â
Even though you couldnât speak to him down your bond, you could sense Garrickâs anger as well. It wasnât possessive, not territorial, but directed squarely at the injustice of it all.
You stayed quiet mostly, observing the interactions among everyone and trying to rid yourself of the feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin.Â
âWeâre ignoring an obvious answer here. After all, we have a Princess of Navarre, and from what Iâve heard, they already had a . . . working relationship.âÂ
Your eyes shot to Xadenâs across the table, startled that they seemed to know your history.
âIt would show great wisdom and dedication to their respective titles were they to contract for three . . . say four years?â Faris said, looking at the other members of the triumvirate.Â
âLong enough to secure an heir for Tyrrendor and Navarre.âÂ
Two years ago, the thought would have steadied you instead of stealing the breath from your lungs. You had loved that man sitting across from you and would have done anything for him.Â
Now the thought of being married to him made your stomach turn.Â
Garrick, sitting beside you, huffed a sarcastic laugh. âIf bloodlines equaled allegiance, we wouldnât be sitting here under interrogation.â Garrickâs hand slid to your knee under the table, giving it a sharp squeeze, grounding, possessive, a silent donât panic. âHe is your son, right?â He asked, glancing at Xadenâs mother.Â
âA contract marriage would be most wise,â Nairi agreed with a nod, ignoring Garrick. âWe could have the legalities performed in the morning at the temple, and then hear what will, no doubt, be a plea for our assistance in their war tomorrow afternoon.âÂ
Panic rose in your chest at what they were suggesting, and your hand reached for Garrickâs on top of your knee. âExcept we are both clearly involved with other people.âÂ
The silence that followed was heavy enough to press against your ribs. You could feel Garrickâs gaze burning into the side of your face, but you didnât look at him, instead you kept your eyes on Xaden. For the briefest moment, you could have sworn that his lip tilted up in the smallest, knowing smirk.Â
âDraw up the papers.â Xaden said, gripping the back of Violetâs chair.Â
Um . . . what?Â
Everyone was staring at him now. Mira gawking and Violet looking like she was moments from spewing her dinner across the table.Â
âAh, there we go!â Faris claps twice. âWhat an excellent decision. Shall we go with three or four years?âÂ
âLifetime. Anything less is unacceptable.âÂ
âXaden!â You finally spared a glance for Garrick who looked about three seconds away from launching himself over the table and attacking his best friend. âThereâs no way -â
The man didnât seem at all bothered though. Instead, he seemed more amused. âAnd her full name for the papers is Violet Sorrengail. Two Râs.âÂ
You hadnât realized you were holding your breath until it left you in a rush. You settled back against your chair, some of the tension melting out of the room.Â
Xaden looked back at Violet, and you couldnât help but smile just a little at the affection in his eyes. âMy last name is tied to the title, but we could take yours?â He offered.Â
âYou could hyphenate,â Garrick suggested lightly, though his thumb traced steady circles against your knee. âOr combine? Riorgail? Sorrenson?âÂ
âThat is not what they meant.â Violet whispered at Xaden.Â
âI donât give a fuck what they meant,â he responded at full volume as he faced the triumvirate. âYou may question our knowledge, test our honor or dedication as riders and fliers. Serve up riddles, fake scenarios, chess games for all I care. But if you think Iâm going to leave the only woman Iâve ever loved to contract marriage with another woman, even one I consider one of my closest friends, then the lack of wisdom is yours, not mine.âÂ
A wave of affection, fond, uncomplicated, and entirely free of old hurt moved through you, much more relaxed than you had been moments ago. âAgreed,â you added, leaning the slightest bit closer to Garrick. It was almost like you couldnât help it. Whenever tension crept in, your body sought him out before your mind even realized why. Â
Right now was no exception. The tension at the table had you missing your bond with Garrick every second, wishing you could just speak to him to help calm your nerves.Â
Somehow, he seemed to understand though. As the rest of the conversation continued around you, he kept his hand on your knee, calming you with his touch until dessert arrived.Â
You didnât think youâd ever seen someone so happy to eat chocolate cake. He was devouring it even as Cat dropped her silverware, and it rattled on the plate.Â
Until Violet yelled at him to stop.Â
Then something changed.Â
Garrickâs smile faltered.Â
His hand slipped from your knee as he wobbled in his chair. âI feel . . . I feel -âÂ
His eyes fluttered shut, and he collapsed, falling toward the table.Â
You moved before the thought existed, catching his head inches before it struck the table.Â
Voices erupted around you. Chairs scraped. Someone shouted his name, maybe Xaden, but the sound reached you warped and distant, like you were underwater.Â
Your free hand fumbled for his pulse, searching, slipping, pressing harder until . . .Â
Nothing.
Panic clawed up your throat.Â
Then -Â
There.Â
Yes. There it was. Sluggish, but there.Â
He wasnât dead.Â
Not yet.Â
Your eyes swung frantically to Xadenâs, the only person in this room who looked as terrified as you felt. âHeâs got a pulse, but - but I donât think heâs breathing.â You said, trying to keep the panic from swallowing you whole.Â
Xaden nodded, and hooked his arms under Garrickâs shoulders, hauling him from the chair and laying him out on the floor to kneel beside him. âYou need to get him breathing.â Xaden told you. His voice was calm, controlled but his eyes . . . they were anything but.
Turning around quickly, your eyes found Dainâs. âGet Trager!â You ordered him.Â
Dain didnât argue. He ran.Â
Without wasting another second, you pinched Garrickâs nose and sealed your mouth over his, forcing air into his lungs.Â
His lips were cold.Â
Wrong.Â
Completely wrong.Â
But his chest rose under your palm.Â
Gods, youâd never wished for your bonds more in your life. The silence where your bonds should have been felt like missing limbs. You needed Beathasâs reassuring words, Chradhâs teasing voice -Â
Garrickâs warm and safe presence -Â
What if - What if you never heard his laugh again -Â
No.Â
You shoved the thought away before it could finish forming. You were not about to lose him. Youâd saved his life before. Youâd do it again.Â
Because whether your dragons had bonded the two of you or not, there was no world, none, where Garrick Tavis wasnât beside you.Â
Malek wasnât taking him. Not today. Not when there was still so much you hadnât had the chance to say.
Not before you told him -Â
âKeep breathing for him.â Trager arrived then, placing his hand on Garrickâs sternum, forcing all his weight down.Â
You didnât hesitate. You drew in another breath and gave it to him.Â
Again.Â
And again.Â
You would keep breathing for him as long as it took.Â
Stay with me.Â
Even though it was dark, you screamed it down the silent bond.Â
Please donât leave me.Â
Hands closed around your shoulders, dragging you back before you even realized someone was touching you. You fought it for half a second, panic clawing up your throat, until you heard Xadenâs voice close to your ear.Â
âItâs shallow, but heâs breathing.â Xaden whispered in your ear even though he still sounded miles away. âVioletâs got it figured out.âÂ
Violet? You hadnât even realized sheâd left the room.Â
âIâve got to make him drink this, okay?â It had been so long since Xaden had spoken so gently to you. You werenât sure if that made you more afraid or calmer. âIâm going to put him on his side, and you hold his head.âÂ
That, you could do. You nodded, and as soon as Xaden got him rolled over, you cradled his head in your lap, your fingers curling into his hair, smoothing it back from his face. The same absent gesture youâd made a hundred times when he teased you for worrying too much. Your free hand found his wrist, your thumb pressing on his pulse point. Reassuring yourself that he was still alive while Xaden and Dain forced the mixture down his throat.Â
Your thumb pressed harder against his pulse, counting every uneven beat.Â
You couldnât lose him.Â
Not Garrick. Not the person who felt like home even when nothing else did.Â
The truth hovered just out of reach, terrifying and undeniable -Â
Garrick sputtered, spitting some of the mixture out, but his eyes flashed open. They were unfocused at first, frantic, until they landed on you.Â
His brow burrowed faintly, like he was trying to understand why you looked so terrified.Â
âOh Gods,â You breathed, the words breaking apart as relief hit so hard your hands started shaking.Â
Xaden yelled at Garrick to wake the fuck up and drink it. It took Garrick four big swallows, but then the cup was drained and his head fell back into your lap. His eyes found yours for a single, unfocused second, recognition flickering there, before they slid closed again, his head falling back into your lap.Â
You glanced up at Violet, panic turning your stomach sour, but she gave you a reassuring look. âGive it time,â she said gently. âWeâre under the hour mark. Heâll be all right.âÂ
You nodded automatically, even though your body refused to believe her. It took everything in you to hold back the sob that desperately wanted to escape your throat. Instead, you leaned down before you even realized what you were doing, pressing your forehead against Garrickâs as your fingers tightened around his hand. âCome on, Gar. I need you to wake back up.â You whispered against his forehead, leaving a soft kiss against his skin. You needed to see those eyes again.Â
Because the thought of a world without them, without him, felt unbearably wrong.Â
Time dragged.Â
Every second his eyes stayed closed tightened something in your chest. Even though Violet told you he would be fine, every passing moment his eyes werenât open your anxiety rose.Â
But they had to open. He had to -Â
A low groan broke the silence.Â
Your head snapped up.Â
âThis is my least favorite isle.âÂ
Tears spilled over before you could stop them, relief hitting so hard it almost hurt.Â
Gods, there were so many things you wanted to say. Needed to say. But all that came out of your mouth was, âdonât ever do that again.âÂ
Garrickâs smile was weak, but it deepened slightly when he realized whose lap his head was in. âDonât worry. No plans for that.â He groaned again as Xaden and Trager helped you sit him up.Â
Xaden stepped back, watching the two of you for a long, assessing moment before turning away, relief softening the tension in his shoulders.Â
âYou didnât win,â Faris snapped.Â
âYouâre dying. I think that qualifies you as the loser.â Violet said, sliding off the table she was perched on.Â
The words shattered the fragile calm settling over you.Â
Heat flooded your veins, not fear this time, but fury. Your hands turned into clenched fists, nails digging into your palms so hard you might be bleeding.Â
They had almost taken him from you.Â
For sport.Â
For a lesson.Â
As if Xaden came to the realization at the same time as you, he jumped to his feet and shoved Faris against the wall, fist cracking against Farisâs jaw. âYou poisoned him?â Xaden slammed him into the wall again. âYou tried to poison her?â He nodded back toward Violet, as he pulled a blade from his thigh and set it at Farisâs neck.Â
You didnât remember drawing your dagger.Â
You only knew it was suddenly buried in the wall beside Farisâs head, slicing the edge of his ear. You joined Xadenâs side, a second knife poking Farisâs side. âI could have you executed for that. Poisoning the princess of Navarre.âÂ
Faris gave a humorless laugh. âYouâre disowned.âÂ
You pressed the dagger harder into his skin. âMaybe, but my father loves resources more than pride. And he loves teaching a lesson more than either.â You pressed the blade harder into his side. âYou gambled with his life?â You nodded toward Garrick, still pale but watching. Your blade pierced Farisâs side just enough to nick the skin. âWhat if I gamble with yours?âÂ
Faris tried to look unimpressed, but his throat bobbed beneath Xadenâs blade. Xaden, standing beside you, saw the sign of fear as well. âSeems reasonable.â He added, his blade shining in the light against Farisâs neck.Â
âWhoa, whoa.â Ridocâs voice broke through your haze of anger. âWe canât kill potential allies, even if they suck.âÂ
Xaden turned his head slowly toward Ridoc.Â
There was no heat in his expression. No fury.Â
Just calculation.
Violet stepped in at the same time as a hand slid around your waist, warm, steady, and real. Garrickâs tired, pale face looked at you from behind your shoulder, giving a faint shake of his head. All of the fight seemed to leave your body as you let him tug you into his chest.Â
âAs much as I appreciate the effort,â Garrickâs hoarse voice murmured in your ear. âI canât let you start a war for me.âÂ
You swallowed.
 Because the terrifying part wasnât that he was wrong.Â
It was that he wasnât.Â
You would have done it.Â
Without hesitation.Â
Because you -Â
âYou two go outside and get your shit together.â Violet said to you and Xaden before turning her attention all on him. âCome back to me when youâre you.âÂ
Xaden held Violetâs gaze for a long, unreadable second, but then he pushed away from Faris, lowering his blade, and stormed past everyone outside.Â
You followed him, hands trembling.Â
The truth was no longer distant or deniable.Â
You had almost lost him. Again.Â
The thought of that had broken something open inside of you.
Something so all consuming that youâd never be able to hide it.Â
Your legs gave out halfway across the sand, dropping you to your knees. You buried your face in your hands, overwhelmed with your emotions.Â
âHave you realized it yet?âÂ
Xadenâs voice made you look up, and his expression, ice cold moments ago, had softened, knowing now as he watched you.Â
You swallowed, and even though you had the feeling you already knew the answer, you asked the question anyway. âRealized what?âÂ
There it was again, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, like he already knew the answer too.Â
âHow much you love him.âÂ
He said it so casually. Like it wasnât a life altering moment, merely a simple observation.Â
Like your world hadnât just shifted on its axis because Garrick Tavis almost died.Â
âI canât think of a better person for you.â He said quietly. âAnd I canât think of anyone who deserves you more.âÂ
Sometimes it was easy to forget that someone else knew you almost as well as Garrick did. Someone youâd spent years beside, someone who not only knew your history, but was a part of it.Â
Someone you once believed you were in love with.Â
Youâd never thought that youâd care if Xaden approved of you being in a new relationship, but now that he had voiced he did . . .Â
It meant more than youâd expected it to.Â
You swallowed the emotions down again, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks, as you made yourself ask the question you were now desperate for the answer for. âDo you . . . do you think he loves me too?âÂ
Before he could answer though, something behind you caught his attention. âYouâre going to have to ask him that yourself.âÂ
Xaden helped you to your feet, and you turned -Â
Garrick, being helped by Trager, was walking toward you.
This time, you didnât pretend you didnât feel it -Â
The way your heart raced.Â
The way your body pulled toward him.Â
The way you wanted to kiss him.
The right way this time.Â
You closed the distance between you before you could second guess it, hurriedly slipping an arm around his waist to help support his weight. âYou shouldnât be walking.â You chided him, even though some of the tension in your chest loosened as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.Â
âIâm fine, and Iâm ready to get the hell out of here.â He grumbled, his voice still rough from the poison.Â
Letting out a sigh, you glanced back over at Trager. âIâll wait with him until Chradh gets here. Do you care to go get our stuff?âÂ
âOn it,â Trager said, giving Garrick a pat on his shoulder. âGlad youâre okay man.âÂ
Garrick nodded, and Xaden approached then. âIâm going back in there with Violet. You two need to talk.â He said, giving you a meaningful look that made your heart jump as anxiety coiled in your chest.Â
Garrickâs brow furrowed at Xadenâs words, and then he turned back to you, studying your expression. He frowned. âThose arenât for me, are they?â He murmured, brushing his thumb under your eye.
You hadnât even realized you were crying until he swept the tears away.Â
You lifted a hand to swat at his chest, but your fingers curled into his shirt instead, dragging him closer as you faced him. âYou almost died. Of course theyâre for you.âÂ
He cupped your cheek, and you leaned into the touch without thinking, nuzzling into the warmth of his palm. âIâm okay,â he said softly, his gaze searching yours.Â
âBut you almost werenât.â Your voice broke on the words, your fingers curling into fists. âIf - if Violet hadnât figured out what the poison was-â
âShe did-â
âBut what if she hadnât?!â Your voice cracked, staring into his eyes like it might be the last time you saw them.Â
The thought of losing him had been unbearable.Â
Because he wasnât just your friend.Â
He was -Â
âGarrick, if you died-âÂ
âIâve almost died dozens of times before.â Garrick shook his head, clearly not understanding your distress. âWhat makes this time so different?â
âBecause I didnât know I was in love with you then!âÂ
The words burst out of you without thought, without hesitation, and they left you with a strange mixture of relief and fear.Â
Relief that youâd said them. That you didnât have to keep pushing the truth down anymore.
But fear that he didnât feel the same.Â
That fear only deepened as Garrick stared at you, his eyes wide, lips parting slightly like the air had been knocked from his lungs.Â
âYou . . . what?âÂ
For a heartbeat, you considered taking it back. Pretending the words had never left your mouth. Pretending you hadnât just handed him the power to break your heart.Â
But you couldnât hide it. Not anymore.Â
You donât want to.Â
âIâm in love with you.â You whispered, but Garrick was already shaking his head.Â
âYou donât have to say this just because I almost died -â
âIâm not!â You insisted. You had to make him understand. Now that youâd said the hardest thing, the rest came spilling out. âGods, Garrick when I saw you lying there -â You took a shuddering breath. âIt was like my soul had been - had been ripped out of my body. It felt like that before too, but I - I didnât know why..âÂ
He opened his mouth to argue again, but you didnât give him the chance.Â
âAnd itâs not because of the bond. I canât feel it right now, and you know that.â You pressed your hand over his chest, right on his pounding heart. âI felt it here. I was so fucking scared.â Your voice broke. âI donât - I donât want to live in a world where youâre not beside me. None of this would matter. None of this would be worth it if I couldnât love you -â
For a moment, the world seemed to stop moving.
Because after what felt like an eternity, Garrickâs hand slid into your hair -Â
and he kissed you.Â
It was like a comet.Â
His lips consumed every part of you and left only longing in their wake. Longing for him to be closer, for his hands and lips to explore every part of you..Â
For him to never stop kissing you.Â
His grip tightened slightly in your hair while the other slid to the small of your back, pressing you against him until there wasnât an inch of space between you. Like he was afraid if he let go, you might disappear. Like he wanted the distance gone just as badly as you did.Â
But you didnât think that was possible.Â
Your lips moved together in perfect harmony, like theyâd been meant to do this all along. There was no awkward fumbling or clumsy missteps. Only instinct.
And something deeper.Â
A quiet sort of rightness in the way the two of you fit together.Â
This is what you had dreamed about. This was the kind of kiss that you thought only existed in dreams.Â
You hadnât realized kissing could actually be like this.Â
When he pulled away, you chased his lips, not wanting the moment to end. He let them brush yours once more before resting his forehead against yours.
His eyes, darker than youâd ever seen them, searched your face as if he were looking for something.Â
âYou love me?â He asked again, his fingers tightening against your back.Â
Your hands slid up his chest to cup his cheeks, and you nodded. âI really do.â There was no hesitation in your voice now. The words felt solid. Certain.Â
You loved Garrick Tavis.Â
His eyes closed, and one of his dimpled smiles appeared. âYou have no idea -â His nose brushed gently against yours. âHow badly Iâve wanted to hear you say that.âÂ
You couldnât help but smile back, your fingers now slipping into his soft hair. âProbably as badly as I want to hear you say it.âÂ
Garrick opened his eyes again, and you practically melted at the affection you saw there.Â
âI love you too.â His thumb brushed away another tear from your cheek. âFuck, sweetheart. Every day I wake up grateful you saved my life back at threshing . . . if only because it brought you to me.âÂ
âMe too,â you whispered, tears slipping down your face again, but this time for a completely different reason.Â
Because even here, on this awful island, after almost losing him -Â
You were happy.Â
Garrick loved you.Â
You didnât deserve it. You didnât deserve him. Maybe you never would.
But Gods, you would spend the rest of your life trying to be worthy of him.
Because somewhere along the way, saving his life had turned into loving him.
The world around you faded, the crashing waves, the distant voices, the chaos of the island.
This time, you were the one who pulled him back down into another kiss.Â
A kiss that promised you werenât ever going to let him go.










