It’s a Fantastic Life

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Ilya: everyone is welcome to dunkin’s funeral on friday

Cliff: who the fuck is dunkin?

St-Simon: you’re selling your ducati?!

Connors: you named your bike after dunkin donuts?

Ilya: yes and also yes; jane says either i sell dangerous motorcycle or i can never eat her ass again

Ilya: was easy choice

Cliff: man you’re whipped can’t belive you’re actually giving up on your fucking Ducati

Ilya: if you had seen janes ass you’d understand

Connors: what are you getting instead?

Ilya: Nothing. Jane says I have enough cars and should invest money in more safe investments in case i loose my job and visa

St-Simons: jesus kid

St-Simons: you sure she’s not your wife?

In an alternate universe:

Ilya Rozanov: Marley I have something really important to tell you. I have hidden a secret about myself for a long time. You are one of my closest friends, and I hope that knowing this doesn’t change anything…I’m bisexual

Cliff Marlow: (visibly confused) yeah…I know that???

Ilya: what? How did you know???

Marlow: Dude you don’t exactly hide it

Ilya: What are you talking about????

Marlow: yeah dude you speak Russian all the time. You have an accent. It’s not that crazy

Ilya:…

Marlow:…

Ilya:…

Marlow:…

these tags by @vaguely-concerned cracked me up so I had to sketch it as baby Orufrey

frankly i think a LOT of "picky eaters" have some kind of sensory problems– autistic or allistic– and shame is never useful. i don't fucking care how annoying you think we are. if you've never lived through the humiliation of being the only one not eating at a dinner table, or having to choke down something disgusting you already know you hate because other people insist you don't know your own body, or getting a hunger migraine in a house full of food because none of its edible to you? you don't understand how awful it is to have food issues.

whenever i see people draw this distinction between being "just a picky eater" and "having a real problem" all i think is, who does this serve? most people don't even know ARFID exists. there are so many undiagnosed autistics, or just people with a variety of issues that aren't officially diagnosed. why do we need a medical label in order to be treated with respect and compassion? why did i need to be diagnosed as autistic for my family to realize the abuse they put me through for years because of my eating habits?

it's such an easy habit for neglected groups to fall into– the idea that a medical diagnosis can save us. that by appealing to the medical/psychiatric industry, we can be protected from abuse and given basic respect and resources. but the truth is that it should never have come to this in the first place. dignity doesn't come from an abled doctor telling you that there's a medical reason for your symptoms. it comes from being a person. once you accept that you need a Good Reason to have your needs respected, you doom yourself to neglecting and abusing those who have your same struggles because they aren't lucky enough to access medical recognition.

I’m Japanese, but I like drawing characters from different countries. This time, my American OC, Jack, talking about the U.S.

Before working on this comic, I learned a lot about America from people here on Tumblr, and I’m really grateful for that.

This is only Part 1, and there’s more to come. I think Japanese readers will enjoy it, but for American readers, it might feel a bit obvious or not very surprising, so maybe a little boring.

please keep scrolling

- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!

- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???

- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!

- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-

- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.

- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.

- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

If you are getting gender affirming surgery, especially if it’s your first major surgery, PLEASE be aware that you can become SEVERELY depressed afterwards ESPECIALLY if you have a history of depression or suicidal ideation.

Post op depression is a natural reaction to the crazy mix of hormones your body goes through after major surgery as well as the stress and anxiety of recovery. Think of it like an adrenaline crash, but dragged out longer.

For me it kicked in about 6 weeks after top surgery and the worst of it lasted until about 10 weeks post op. EVERYTHING felt IMPOSSIBLE. None of the skills I’d been practicing worked. I thought everything was going to be bad forever. I didn’t attempt, but I was in the hospital. If it wasn’t for my support system I probably would have attempted.

This is not regret, but it can feel like it. I remain happy about my results to this day (going on six years later).

This is not you failing to maintain your mental health, but it can make you feel like a failure.

Things are not hopeless, but through the haze of this depression they can feel hopeless.

It can be terrifyingly sudden or it can sneak up on you. I didn’t even realize what was going on until after the depression finally passed and my mental health went back to normal.

I am writing this post because nobody told me about this before my top surgery. I was caught completely off guard. For my subsequent surgeries being aware has made all the difference. Being able to treat those symptoms as an expected and normal part of the healing journey has made them far easier to deal with. Because even when my emotions go to dark places I *know* they will pass. I have been able to tell the bad thoughts to take a bad seat and focus on healing.

so funnily enough some teachers in penny's pre k just got fired for RECORDING the children trying to get them to say cuss words and a parent saw the video and flipped out (rightfully so) and Penny was like "I didn't say them because those are in the house words and you have to be four ... four times like four I think you said? to say those in the house words and that was the deal and they broke the deal and then I had to go into the baby room and those babies couldn't even talk to me"

So basically Penny knows cuss words are in the house words. And I tell her she has to be 4 times 4 because when she says "I don't know what that is!" I say "then you're definitely not 4 times 4 yet!" Lol. She's also never heard anyone in her family ever cuss AT someone, just about things so I think that helps too