Mess that you wanted

Leave him? 😆

Get it the shirt HERE

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

the kids in hsm2 shouldve unionized that country club

first dude to invent drums was just like super pissed one day and fucked up punching something and everyone was just like oh shit this fucking slaps 

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight