we have the Doctor

I came into this fandom in a time that I was struggling. I was depressed and lonely and I was contemplating suicide. I was being bullied at school and i was the only girl in my grade in a very small school so as you can imagine I wasn't doing great. At the time i was a fan girl of many things like Lord of the rings, Percy Jackson and the Hunger Games. I would throw myself into fantasy worlds to escape my less than ideal circumstances and i would listen to the radio because I hadn't figured out streaming music and I didn't have money to buy music on my phone. It was during this time that I heard "Kiss you" on the radio for the first time and fell in love with that song. In my excitement for it I made a connection with my now best friend (Kimay) who asked me who my favorite member of the band was. I had never loved a band like this before never enough to know the names of all the members so I went home and looked at some pictures of the boys and decided that the cute blonde one was going to be my favorite and to this day Niall is still my favorite. After that fateful day I continued doing research looking up quotes and fun facts and listening to whatever music I could find on YouTube. I found myself emerced in fanfiction and imagines about you and the boys and it brought me so much joy. My friendship with Kimay grew and we bonded over wishing for a concert to come to South Africa so we could finally see One Direction in person. We were so excited when it was announced that they would be coming to South Africa in 2015 and we begged for The tickets which went on sale a whole year before the date of the concert and we were so excited and happy when Our dreams were realized when her parents got the tickets so that both of us could go and see them together. As the time went on One Direction's music matured and got better and better and we got more and more excited for our concert. Unfortunately days before the concert in Johannesburg Zayn officially announced that he was leaving the band and we were both devastated leaving me crying for those 2 days. Before the concert I gave myself a pep talk (Julie. One Direction taught you that you shouldn't cry over some guy so you are going to stop crying go to this concert with your best friend and you are going to have the time of your life) and I did have the best time ever. I can't remember when "This is us" came out but I got the DVD and watched it obsessively I even got my Grandma to watch it with me. I thank you for all the good times I had in this fandom and I will never forget the hope you have given me for a better life. I am happy to report that dispite my grief at your passing and other recent deaths in my life I am no longer suicidal and I am following my dreams as a Nature guide in South Africa. I even sometimes find myself smiling just because life is so good. I admit in recent years I had stopped checking in regularly on you boys as I have grown up and have been working on my career and only hoping in the back of my mind that I would live to see a One Direction reunion. You will be missed Liam by everyone who's lives you have touched whether through actively knowing them or just being a person that we admire from afar. I know that you have shaped me into a better person and I wish I could have given you the hope you gave me!

Goodbye Daddy Direction