Fana The Purp

Monna Ke Selepe: S03E07 – “I never stopped loving you”

Previously on Monna Ke Selepe: “I could hear my mother mumble things like “yo tino (a tooth)… hair… rhambo (a bone)”. Out of nowhere Ruth got violent with me. So violent, the men had to pin her down to allow the ancestors to leave her body. A few moments later, Ruth was her normal self; the wounds on my back from her bites were very sore and my mother looked like she had seen a ghost. Ruth turned…

Re: David Masondo, udom san! cc @City_Press |

Image source: city-press.news24.com/ Eka David Masondo  How can we unite when you are threatening our existence? Your failure as the national party to secure real power has put you in a sad disadvantage. You people always contradict each other and what you stand for, and this has been going on for many years. We could start by harmonising and standardising the Nguni and Sotho languages to produce…

KaNkutswani S1E10: “ri Zim Dollar ra Joni”

KaNkutswani E9: “Hi ku nyangatseka, tani hi leswi moya wa mina wu hisekela ku foneriwa hi Nyasha, ndzi lo teka foni, ndzi fonela loyi a a heta ku vila ka byongo byanga. Foni yi timiwile. Na ndzi nga se veka foni ehansi, ta Jinnete hi loko pfulela mahungu mo hetelela ma siku eka Rivongo TV, yin’wani ya tinhloko-mhaka a yi ku: “Mufundhisi wa ndhuma wa le ka Nkutswani a ringeta ku tidlaya…” Loko ri…

Previously on Monna Ke Selepe – How my life had gone out of control in a matter of days. In a short period of time, I had experienced jail, I had experienced losing a job, I had experienced being in a comma, my house was broken into and I had suffered a stroke. The following morning my mother walked into the ward and all the tears I had been holding back the past two days uncontrollably came out.…

KaNkutswani E8: “Mahungele, tshika xicele. Namutlha ni nga vhaka, wa vilela, loko ni nga vhaki wa hlayela. Phe mina na wena a hi holovi. Kumbe wa ha hlundzukele swa Katekani?” Hi lo buluka hi vumbirhi ka hina. Ku hleka ka mina a ku ri ko vungunya, emoyeni a ndzi ri na nkwiti. Kasi xihleko xa Danisa a ku ri xo ndzi kamba mihleketo. “Twana ka boti” ku vula Danisa. “Ni twe ku u ya Joni mundzuku, se…

South African ethnic group with bomb sex (For Chicks)

There is a high chance for the following to happen as written below.   Swati: You are going to cheat on him… Ndebele: He will probably cry when he cums and there won’t be a next time, unless he pays your rent. Tswana: Sorry hle mme! O tlo jewa ka time table! Xhosa: Uzotyiwa unye, kodwa ngeke uqhame! Zulu: He puts on an effort shem, aku fani… go in knowing he is the king of foreplay and loves…

South African ethnic group with bomb sex (For Guys)

You know bomb coochie comes with crazy chicks only? Here goes:   Pedi: She will complain a lot while you are on top. Oh, she loves being the main and make sure she don’t talk dirty in Sethokwa or Khelobedu. Ndebele: She won’t make a sound while you stroke, she doesn’t want to annoy you. Xhosa: Le way iyavaya, mara iduru! Zulu: She is fun at the club… Venda: It won’t sound that sexy at all but you…

Ta ri kala! – Mbangi yo xava hi huwa…

“He ngwenya, wa nga ni dzahisa?” Hi loko Mateki dyi ni languta hi tihlo ra sathani, kambe a dyi ni hlamulangi mxm! “He ngwenya-ngwenya tshika sweswo kam!” Eeh, xiyisa lexi xa ala ku ni recognize’a, xa nya straight. Ni nga endla njhani mara? Phela ni la ku dzaha, na loloha ku jika ka Thevu. Mateki xa nya kam, xi ti endla tswotswi ya la mugangeni hi ku hi xavisela swimbangani swa yena swa le jhoni!…

Tinyeleti ta Vutsonga ta 2015

The following is a compilation of Tsonga (and non-Tsonga) individuals identified by FanaThePurp as people who contributed and promoted Vutsonga in entertainment and pop culture. We would like to thank these individuals, as their presence as Vatsonga and their interest in Vutsonga had an impact in 2015. Ha khensa tinyeleti ta Vutsonga! These people put us out there in a positive and cool way and…

Pompeii - Written by @RN_Miyagi

Written by RN Miyagi I’m struggling to open my eyes with this eye goo shutting them firmly. I try lifting my hand to rub my eyes there’s no motion at all; left hand… nothing… ok, right hand… still nothing. I feel awful. I actually feel like I have survived a bus accident, followed by a train accident then I fell into the ocean and started a nose bleed which prompted a showdown with three great…

KaNkutswani S1E8: “Ha mi losa he Mahungele”

KaNkutswani E7: “Wa mina?” Xipapilani lexi, xi ndzi pfilunganye byongo, kambe, ndzi tivutisa ku xana a ndzi rindzele yini loko ndzi xi hlaya. Siku ra mina ri hele hi nxukuvato, nxukuvato lowu ndzi nga lo wu pfepfula. Ndzi tivutise ku, xana nahambi ndzi lava ku hlamula, ndzi ta hlamula ndzi ku yini? Xana a ndzi nga tidyondzisanga ku sirhelele switwi swa mina na mintlhaveko ya mina eka mindzhombo…

Monna Ke Selepe: S03E04 – “There is blood… I see blood…”

Previously on Monna Ke Selepe – “I lay there, motionless and listened to all the things the two nurses had to say about my situation. How I had been in hospital for two weeks and how the doctors could not tell what was wrong with me. I wondered which family they were referring to. I wondered if my mother had been informed I was in hospital. One thing was for you sure; Nyiko was one of the people…

The 4th Annual Thulamahashe Music Festival Kicks Off On The 23rd December, Bigger And Better #Just4TMF

Thulamahashe, Mpumalanga 18 December 2015 – Thulamahashe Music Festival  affectionately known as TMF, possibly one of the prime events in Mpumalanga is back again to spoil the Bushbuckridge community with some musical extravaganza like never before. Thulamahashe will be full of activities on the 23rd December 2015 when turn-up kings/queens dance to some of their favorite artists’ music from 6pm…

Head to Head: December Revolution vs Judgment Day – “Khombo ra vaxavi.”

Ni vuyini, na bava and even unapologetic as before. Ni vi na moment of weakness, ndzhukano wa genge na marito ya Mayengani got to me and I pulled out from making reviews ta December Revolution na Judgment Day. It was premature of me, kambe vaseketeli va FTP na BP na TS reasoned with me kuri ni vuya. Game leyi ya tika va ka hina, yi lava mbilu himpela. There is a reason this review is titled…

African Cultures By Young Africans: Tsonga Ethnic Group

Repost from Afrikan Princess – originally posted on 7 Dec 2015 The Tsonga Ethnic Group – “Royalty of the East” By @FanaThePurp VaTsonga are a coastal people that Inhabits South-East Africa,spread out in Tanzania, Zambia, Malawi, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, South Africa and Swaziland. There are over 12 million Tsonga speakers in the world of all Xitsonga variants; majority is in Mozambique, then…

African Cultures By Young Africans: Bashi Tribe

Repost from Afrikan Princess – originally posted on 4 Dec 2015 Written By Eddy Mihigo I am from the Bashi tribe in the South Kivu province, one of three provincial groups (the others being Maniema and North Kivu) that make up the Kivu province of the Democratic Republic of Congo. The Democratic Republic of Congo is Africa’s Second Largest country and is one of the most populated in Africa. The…

Award-winning packaging innovation for Smirnoff Double Black

Smirnoff Double Black recently received a Gold Medal in the Institute of Packaging’s Gold Pack Awards. The striking glass bottle boasts organic, unique ink mediums and effects that captures Smirnoff’s boldest cut yet – Smirnoff Double Black Vodka, triple distilled and double freeze filtered. Leading premium alcohol beverage company, brandhouse, challenged the experts at Glass Decorations to push…