False Idol

Author's Notes: Behold, we are back people! And we are finally done with the Bathroom Scene~ Something something, realistic panic attacks. It's been a weird year for me. I've been coming out of free-fall and the comic has taken a backseat, I admit I've been feeling closer and closer to just ending the comic and writing out the ending as a cop-out. Especially now that we've finished this intermission which coincidentally ends on Page 133. Which is a pretty important number to me, because you know what happened on that page number in January?

Author's Notes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yurdT-lYH8 AND IN COMES THE SIDEWIND, LOOK OUT LUCY! IT'S THE POINT! Yes, that's right you shmucks it was ALL A PLOY TO GET US TO TALK ABOUT...

THAT

and if you couldn't tell what Daisy was getting at in the 6th panel, Daisy is talking about the big T word: trauma. It was the whole point of this scene, and why I felt it necessary to bring it up and take up all of your time. When making False Idol, I didn't want to bring that up again since January was meant to be the kinda "say all there is to say" portion on the matter, but I realized there were some things that I didn't get to touch on like how I mentioned before with Abbey. But also, there was an opportunity to have Daisy be more active in helping Lucy since everyone else got a turn in January while Daisy got sidelined. And while it wasn't thought of when I came up with this whole intermission, I did notice there was one big glaring wrong in Daisy that I NEEDED to rectify in False Idol. That wrong being...

Author’s Notes: Fun fact about this page and the writing of False Idol in general.  A lot of it is off the cuff (which is probably apparent) and unfortunately not every page gets written in a day. So I’ll have like a bit done one day, a bit done the next, all the while mulling over what they’re saying and it leads to mixed results.  Sometimes it allows me to come up with better lines or ways to end a page, but sometimes it ends up muddling.  I bring this up, because halfway through I came up with a great ending hook, it would give a good thought line that could string us to the next page, and it would be perfect! Except that I had spent the first half of the page setting up a joke end to the page that we could non-sequitor into the next page... So what do you do when you have two good ideas?  Usually (as I’ve shown with the last two pages) you just place your bet on one and run it, buuuut...

Author’s Notes: I mentioned before how I won’t do an intermission if there isn’t something to talk about.  But it takes more than just one thing to talk about to keep my interest enough to be a scene in False Idol.  If the only talking point was just getting to bring up Abbey and why Daisy broke up with him, it wouldn’t be enough.  There needs to be a REASON for why we bring it up, and have it take up pages in the comic.  And this page highlights that reason.

Y’see, there is a subject matter I really hesitated to broach.  Not just in False Idol, but in January as well.  The subject of those suffering from mental illness not properly handling their issues, and falling into personal pitfalls that keep them stuck from getting better.  It was a topic that I should’ve brought up in January, but I didn’t in fear of muddling the positive message of January and trying to tell people there is hope at the end, and I definitely didn’t want to do that to Lucy.  

Abbey on the other hand... Oh we can use Abbey for this 100%!  And it’s not just because I hate him but WHY I hate him.  And this page highlights exactly WHY I hate Abbey.  Because he exemplifies a mentality and behavior that makes hurt people continue to hurt people.  He was never honest with Daisy about his problems, and how hurt he was feeling.  Despite having multiple avenues of bettering himself, and finding ways of dealing with his issues in a healthy manner he instead took cover in his shell, believing he was right all the way up and AFTER everything blew up in his face.  His relationship with Daisy could’ve been a great opportunity to flesh out and build up these two characters.  Daisy could help him deal with his trauma and bring support and stability to his life, and Abbey could help Daisy with her insecurity problems and show that she has pros and strengths of her own that she can appreciate.  

BUT NOPE!  WHY HAVE ANY OF THAT, WHEN WE CAN JUST HAVE ABBEY REGRESS AND LIE ABOUT HIS PROBLEMS WITH PAULO WITH DAISY UNTIL IT DESTROYS HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP!  

So... this is why Abbey’s not in False Idol.  I didn’t get into it with this page (maybe I could work it into another page but in case I don’t) maybe Daisy seeing Lucy get better, and seeing how she handles therapy and her progress as a person Daisy notices the problems with Abbey’s own recovery.  Which brought up a question: “Was Abbey a good boyfriend?” and I think the answer is no.  Given that Daisy still has issues with insecurity and comparing herself to others, I don’t think Abbey helped quell those fears like he should have, and the fact that Daisy was nervous and unwilling to tell Abbey about her interests in nerdy stuff to take her to the convention shows that she isn’t THAT secure with him. 

And I know this is going on for a while but I just wanted to highlight one thing about this page.  There was an alternate stinger, and by that I mean the last panel was in contention with one other line.  I ended up going with the one we see here because it showcases Daisy’s mentality, and that even after everything she does care about Abbey, through and through she did love him and does want the best for him, but just can’t stand to see him spiral down anymore. 

Author’s Notes: So about things I didn’t have plans on touching, but this scenario brought an opening for it... Hello Abbey.  We haven’t forgotten you, we’ve just pushed you aside and thrown a blanket over you.  So, backstory: Abbey was originally supposed to be in the cast during False Idol.  He ended up getting pulled because of a few reasons, for one the cast was already pretty big as it was, and while there were parts and scenes where I could see points that certain characters could make, or ask in a scene (like, Tess, McCain, Rachel, and Sue) I wasn’t too sure on what Abbey brought to the table other than being in a relationship with Daisy, and maybe that could’ve been used as a contrast to the relationship stuff with Sandy but it would’ve probably been shallow or surface level at best.  But the main reason Abbey had to be cut from the cast is because I FUCKING HATE HIM!   

After the stunt he pulled with Paulo at the convention, I had to make a scene where he and Paulo made up and reconciled.  But when Abbey got upset with Daisy for accepting Paulo, and completely imploding as a character, I decided “yeah, fuck Abbey.  He’s getting Carson’d we’re leaving him in a ditch”.  And while Chapter 3: Daisy’s Chapter kind of got into it a bit, I never really got into the why of Abbey and Daisy breaking up.  It was hinted at, with Daisy remarking that she felt that she was doing more for him than he was for her.  But that was kind of a weak excuse.  And i’ll be honest, the reason for that is because...

I legitimately had no concrete answer for Abbey and Daisy breaking up.  I had a few ideas on how to set it up, and what might happen but they seemed to take away from the overall story and pacing too much for me to be happy with it.  So it ended up being filed under “We’ll figure it out later” and when Chapter 3 rolled around, I still kinda didn’t have an answer for how and why Abbey and Daisy broke up.  I was more interested in taking Daisy in a new direction, and while I had an idea for why they broke up there wasn’t a real opening in that scene for me to naturally bring it up without getting too off-rails.  Not to mention that whole scene was kind of scattered as was, (almost like it was taking scenes that were thought of going a different way earlier, but were inserted later).  

All of this is to say, of course... That now we finally get to talk about Abbey.  Strap in if you haven’t already, we’re going to flesh the shit out of Daisy.

Author’s Notes: Why hello there, would you look at that?  It’s the point of the scene! When I mentioned in the last author’s notes about not doing an intermission unless I found something important to talk about, this was it.  And it was interesting because again, I didn’t have any idea on how to broach the subject of Lucy’s medicinally induced dreaming, Until I remembered the out of nowhere bit where Daisy brings up having lucid dreams, and it cracked this whole situation wide open and brought up a whole slew of answers to questions I admittedly gave up on ever answering.  I was so enamored with the dialogue and conversation and the little shots I’d do like showing Lucy subconsciously just wringing her hands that I forgot what the real hard and nigh impossible task I just set for myself with this scene...

Author’s Notes: And we are actually on schedule for once!  Hey, look at that?  And despite everything, it’s actually not a new chapter (yet).  It’s a rare first ever, proper, INTERMISSION!  Surprising that we never did one, especially given how everpresent they are in BCB, but that’s for good reason.  I remember thinking about using intermissions especially for January, but I never did because it was meant to be more of a focused linear storyline with only a few minor deviations from the plot.  The only scene I could classify as qualifying as an intermission was The Balcony Scene.  But that was more a product of happenstance.  For False Idol I never really thought about making an intermission, because I’ve more thrived off of a blinders-on style of writing.  Thinking only about the scene in front of me, and keeping what happens later in the back of my mind.  Not to say I won’t think of new scenes or anything, but often times if I do think of something it’ll find its way into the chapter proper, one way or another.  A good example of this would be during the writing of Dan driving Sandy home after their date, I started thinking of what the next scene would be and how it would go.  And the question of, “How does Dan deal with this?” popped in my mind leading to an idea that would’ve made a great intermission, where Dan drops off Sandy and then turns to his closest friend for help, in Ash.  It would’ve been a sweet scene of the two hanging out and naturally working out the problem by thinking out loud, joking about the situation, and comforting each other in proper homie fashion. 

Obviously this scene wasn’t made into an intermission and we didn’t get to see that.  But, that did get reworked into the real chapter with the epilogue of the flashback.  Which is typically how the story writing goes for False Idol.  I have plenty of side ideas, and conversations between characters that pop up in the middle of a scene, or in brainstorming a chapter, but I’ve always taken an approach of, “if it’s good enough of a conversation I’ll figure out a way to work it in, but if I can’t find a way of working it in, then it’s not worth keeping.” It keeps things simple so we don’t get too off-track especially for False Idol which has a lot of stuff to get through on its own.  

So why are we does THIS get an intermission?  Well... there was one topic of conversation that I had sitting for a long time.  Something that I hinted at all the way back in the first page of Chapter 2, that I couldn’t figure out a good way of bringing up in the comic naturally... 

That is... until now.  

Author’s Notes: And with this, we are DONE! WE HAVE DID IT! GET ON YOUR FEET, BECAUSE WE. ARE. LEAVING!  CHAPTER 4 IS IN THE BOOKS!  WOO!  Not gonna lie, this chapter has been one of the best chapters I’ve writtten so far including scenes in January. It was really nice to be able to play around and toy with some actual romantic drama, and getting way more out of these scenes and especially these characters than I initially thought. The concept of this chapter was honestly not as deep as it ended up becoming, but part of that was due to me falling in love with the characters of Dan, Ash, and Sandy, and exploring the different angles and really playing with the chemistry of the three (or at least, Ash and Dan).  It’s no wonder that this chapter wound up almost meeting the page count of Chapter 2 with being 41 total pages long, only 5 pages less than Chapter 2.  Which was surprising since it’s a lot less ambitious as Chapter 2, but as we have seen it has a LOT more to say.  

That being said though, as it’s been a very long chapter and I think we deserve a little break...