hysterical woman

Bob’s Burgers Sentence Meme

“Enjoy your goldfish, wild man.”

“If a deer sees me naked, you can’t get jealous.”

“Should one of us go check it out, not me?”

“Second wind! *falls down* Didn’t work.”

“Why ya gotta be such a wang?”

“I missed your stinky face.”

“This isn’t my underwear.”

“You don’t have to be good, you just have to be fast.”

“Old grapes aren’t candy!”

“It’s hard for me to think when my pants are off.”

“Put some lotion on that!”

“Sorry about your marriage.”

“Real life comes up and hits you in the face.”

“My island name will be Daiquiri Zachary.”

“You punched my butt.”

“Go suck on a crouton.”

“What the cuss word!”

“I really do need that deodorant.”

“Put your face in it.”

“Whatever you’re planning, do not do it.”

“I’m straight - I mean I’m mostly straight.”

“Double oh-so-sad.”

“I have pepper spray in my purse, and I will use it!”

“Do you need a hug?”

“Hey, I don’t appreciate your lack of sarcasm.”

“We’re busier than a monkey with six dingalings.”

“While we’re at it, what’s wrong with diarrhea, huh?”

“Forecast calls for fabulous!”

“Little King Trashmouth found himself a piece of pizza.”

“Someday a cleansing rain will come.”

         Her feet made a small patter across the floor, when she heard rustling in a room close by. Following the noise, she looked through the crack in the door to see Chris. He was doing it, and she just watched without uttering a single word. She backed up from the door, but hit the wall in the process. Her blow against the wall creaked the door in front of her open.

         "I-I had no idea you were even doing this in h-here..“, she stumbled over every word as she attempted to catch her breath.

        Euphoria. That’s what he called the warmth that took over every inch of his body, and Chris laughed under his breath at how familiar he was to it. Like a child to a blanket - what a sick comparison. He’d started feeling the tingle when he heard his bathroom door slam against the wall, where Ashley had went. Though he should be concerned, the only thing he felt was jubilation. So what, she already knows, right? But there was a part, though not prominent enough to give a damn, that feared this would happen.

        His attitude towards her when she wanted to go to the restroom should have been obvious. Of course she should have suspected that he was going to indulge in her short absence. Did she expect anything less? Chris looked in her direction, a hard incoming sniff - nostril numb, throat with it. 

that’s the least of all my fears.

please forgive me.

devil’s gonna follow me wherever i go.

i’m a dead man walking.

you only know what i want you to.

i know everything you don’t want me to.

you think your dreams are the same as mine.

i wish you’d hold me.

i don’t have a choice but i’d still choose you.

you’ve been lonely too long.

let me in the wall you’ve built around.

let me hold your hand.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me.

i never meant to get us in this deep.

i wish you were the one that got away.

oh, if i could go back in time. 

i wish i’d never seen your face.

he’s hidden his heart away.

all he really wants is for someone to want him back.

what i choose is my choice.

the killer in me is the killer in you.

you’re sunlight.

you’re my favorite song, always on the tip of my tongue.

look what you’ve done.

you own me with whispers like poetry.

your mouth is a melody i memorize. 

oh lord, what have i done?

i’ve fallen in love with a man on the run.

don’t take that sinner from me.

i’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you.

i just want to take him home.

he did what he had to do.

give me the burden, give me the blame. i’ll shoulder the loud and  i’ll swallow the shame.

don’t care if he’s guilty. don’t care if he’s not.

he’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that i’ve got.

i saw heaven every day.

don’t you fret my dear, it’ll all be over soon.

i’ll be waiting here for you.

i don’t want to talk right now.

for all that we’ve got, don’t let go.

i can’t pull you closer than this.

it’s just you and the moon on my skin.

just hold me.

she’s in love and she won’t be again.

i’m going to go home.

why are you so far from me?

in my arms is where you are to be.

how long will you make me wait?

i don’t know how much more i can take.

i’m still waiting patiently.

i wanna leave you.

i wanna give up.

i’m gonna say it if you won’t.

stop saying those sweet things you know i like to hear.

you’re right here with me.

you can’t blame me.

haven’t you noticed me drifting?

i’ve got to let you go.

i just keep losing myself.

one glance was all it took.

give me one more chance.

won’t you please let me into your heart?

i was blind to let you go.

i want you back.

trying to live without your love is like one long sleepless night.

i’m coming home real soon.

i love the best i can.

whatever you do, keep it with you.

sometimes i can’t tell where i am.

through it all we still remain.

all the king’s horses and all of his men couldn’t tear us apart.

i gave you all the love i’ve got.

this is no ordinary love.

i gave you more than i could give.

you’ll always be the only one.

i could get over you but please don’t ask me to.

you always said you want me to be happy but happiness was having you here with me.

Ashley: 

She always carries a journal around. She carries it around in case she thinks of story ideas or in case she gets bored and has an urge to write.

During her free time, she likes volunteering at animal shelters and other businesses that run solely on volunteers.

She can be very quiet when around her s/o at the beginning of the relationship, and will rely on them to break any awkward silence that is formed.

“All monsters are human. You’re a monster.”

“You’re all I want! You’re all I have!”

“And you’re a dried up, old hot pocket, but I don’t judge.”

“I’m finding it really hard to look at your face because I really, really want to bash it in.”

“I don’t do liquor.”

“I think I have mommy issues. You know a good therapist?”

“You’re kind of twisted, aren’t you?”

“Do you have any clothes that don’t come from the Gap?”

“I have always loved you.”

“Sometimes shit just happens.”

“Don’t make me drop a house on you.”

“I’m trying very hard not to judge you.”

“You are the biggest freak of them all.”

“I’m not naive to the ways of men.”

“Who is [email protected]?”

“You don’t have any idea of what I’m capable of.”

“If I wanted you dead, you would be.”

“You’re mine now. Body and soul.”

“You’re one tough cookie, you know that?”

“Bitch, I will eat you!”

“Don’t be a hater, dear.”

“You could never survive without me.”

“That’s showbiz.”

“I just can’t help thinking my whole life might have gone different if I’d met you sooner.”

“I’m going to destroy you and everything you love.”

“You must think you’re very clever.”

“I need a cigarette.”