whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

no matter how loud it is, the volume is never loud enough to truly appreciate iris by the goo goo dolls

where is my favorite painting i need to find my favorite painting

[ID: A blotchy-looking painting of a person and a cat sleeping on a made bed in a green room. End ID.]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

i think avoiding everything is going to save me for real this time

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

embarrassing yourself sucks but it is Not the end of the world. I'm telling me this