Mal

I saw a massive black squirrel!

I let my words shrivel up. I feel haunted by what’s left unsaid.

My axle pins are arriving today! Back on wheels

I need to go to a dance hall

I fucking hate it here

The people around me don’t even know my body is disintegrating before their very eyes

I miss Florida so much it is making me sick.

I’m thinking about my Nini, she is my dad’s mom. I remember going over to her house. We rarely went inside. I stayed the night with her one time. I slept on a chair and foot stool. Her house always scared me a little bit, it was so dark, she kept all the lights off and the walls were wood paneled. There was a small hallway leading to her bedroom, a guest bedroom full of stuff, a bathroom, a linen closet and one last door that I never saw behind. She was an artist. She painted landscapes of the Coast. Whenever I went over to her house I brought a notebook. She would draw pictures on a random page. I wouldn’t try to look for it until I got home.

I miss the Suwannee river

I love being a cat that smokes weed

I made a disabled friend! We were both at the library waiting for the elevator. We both had our mobility aids and masks. We started chatting and exchanged information. Turns out they live really close to me and we’re going to hangout! It’s really sad I’ll be moving states in 2 weeks :(

I really miss my church. I miss singing in the choir and taking communion. I miss being able to discuss scripture with others. I miss the queer kids that sat with me at dinner and showed me their art.

All the people I’ve known throughout my life feel like threads in a cloth. There’s a few that stick out. some that I can’t help but fiddle with.

If these walls could talk. I would hope they don’t mind the things I’ve drawn on them, or the holes I’ve made.