Fake texts from last Might

Aoyama Yuuga : Are you insane? I'd be sobbing uncontrollably. I'd be screaming while lying and shaking on the floor like some scene from "The Exorcist". I'd be choking on my own spit and tears.

Tokoyami Fumikage : Ah, so you really like me.

Todoroki Shouto : Maybe you were lovers in another life?

Bakugou Katsuki : Are you ****ing kidding? I hate him, you dumb***! I want to tear him limb from limb!

@bunnyramen on Bakugou’s food preferences: (Link)

#kiri: Bro your breath is gonna judo kick me in the face 😭💀#imagine bakugou trying to kiss him right after this#bro booty hole gonna be on life support 😭#ass gonna be speaking some backwards latin ol possessed ass havin-#the cooks back there said 8 Hail Marys and splashed holy water on that bitch this man is seeing the LORD#kiribaku#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#eijirou kirishima#this man ass surpasses fire this bitch is on inferno type shit#the cooks tears add to the flavor of this man is going to need his stomach pumped and needs to fill out his own death certificate#he basically asked for death on a plate with the grim reapers breath on the side#waiter prolly went to the back to call the bomb squad on stand by#the amount of warm gum Kiri probably keeps in his pockets would have no affect#everyone in the diner loses -80 hp when he takes the first bite#this man’s colon is gonna fucking rupture#kiri would just sit dumbfounded that this man that he’s fallen for ate every bit of that shit#that bill would probably look like a prison rap sheet#kiri do not kiss this man ever this dudes breath will never be the same

...is this xhat Viktor Frankestein felt like? Have I created a monster?

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@softer-ua on Shinsou’s quirk and amnesia: (Link)

#Ojiro the poor boy did suffer from memory loss but Izuku didn’t lol

Yeah, apparently Shinsou can choose to make his preys lose their memory of the brainwashing if he so desires? I’m not sure if Horikoshi ever clarified that.

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@binarybfs on Jirou and Kaminari pretending to know about each other’s favorite bands (Link):

this is exactly a conversation i had with a cute guy on my team the other day, i had to pretend i knew every member of the band deftones

Don’t apologize for keeping romance alive, champ.

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@stodareegg on Shigaraki’s minecraft skins: (Link)

#shig making skins of people he doesn't like with ❌ over their faces#every week LoV members are required to make new accounts to give his masterpiece titled 'FUCK YOU ALL MIGHT' a positive review#he also has a skin of himself with 'pro gamer' on the shirt with a 1 star review that's definitely not from dabi

Dabi can’t admit to it, of course. That would just reveal him as a fellow Minecraft player and the last thing he wants is him and Shigaraki having anything in common.

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@villain-sympathizer on Shigaraki criticizing his minions: (Link)

#who says villains cant also be suburban MILFs who bake space cakes.........

Aoyama Yuuga : Well, you don't have a drop of European ancestry, monsieur Kaminari... Maybe you could have better hair if you tried rocking your natural color instead of ruining it with the cheapest dye-job de la planète...

Kaminari Denki : [embarrassed] What? I don't even dye my hair!

Aoyama Yuuga : [eyeroll] Sure.

Kaminari Denki : I swear! Look! If I'm not a natural blonde... Why are my roots yellow?

Midoriya Izuku : Yeah! I could barely feel my legs while I was under your control... It's like my soul left my body.

Shinsou Hitoshi : Oh, don't worry. It's quite harmless. [Beat] Well, apart from the memory loss...

Ojiro Mashirao : What memory loss?

Shinsou Hitoshi : [grinning] Exactly.

Toga Himiko : ...wait, we have a motto? What is it?

Shigaraki Tomura : "Heat the rich". It's super trendy these days. Re-Destro says we have to capitalize on that Millenial and Gen-Z resentment... so I chose a quote about global warming!

Spinner : "E".

Shigaraki Tomura : What?

Spinner : It's "EAT the rich", with a capital "E"!!! As in "eating"! Don't you know anything about the French Revolution? "When the people shall have no more to eat, they will eat the rich!" That's the quote!

Shigaraki Tomura : Oh, that... makes way more sense. Whatever, I'm not spending money on new T-shirts. This will have to do.

Toga Himiko : Are you kidding? That won't work at all! No one wants to make rich people WARMER!!!

Kirishima Eijirou : Kaminari, this is a very harmful stereotype. Besides, guys enjoys compliments no matter who says them.

Kaminari Denki : Phew! That's a relief. Hey, Shinsou! Looking good today! You know, if I had a girlfriend... she'd totally cheat on me with you.

Shinsou Hitoshi : ...er, thanks?

Principal Nezu : I wish I could, but our hands are tied. The JCLU would sue us into oblivion.

All Might : ...for what?

Principal Nezu : Discrimination. Mineta's the only straight cisgender man left in this school.

All Might : That doesn't make any s/

Midoriya Izuku : [gasp] Oh my gawd! A superhero family! That's so cool.

Bakugou Katsuki : YEAH! Like the Todorokis! Well, one of the wholesome Todorokis. Not the abusive one. Or the terrorist one. Or the one who threw boiling tea or her son's/

Midoriya Izuku : ...or maybe, like, the Iidas?

Iida Tenya : Oh my god! Come to think of it, I do recall hearing some weird noises outside... Todoroki, did you hear something?

Todoroki Shouto : ...Why would I?

Midoriya Izuku : Nothing wakes up Todoroki. One time we went on a rollercoaster and midway-through he just... dozed off.

Kirishima Eijirou : Hm, I'm not sure I should buy this shirt. Look, do you think it's too tacky? Be honest.

Bakugou Katsuki : I don't know, let's check. HEY, ASHIDO, GET YOUR *** THERE!

Ashido Mina : [head emerging from a changing room] Yeah, what?

Bakugou Katsuki : What do you think of this shirt on Shitty-Hair?

Ashido Mina : Aw, I love it! So classy!

Todoroki Shouto : [shrugging] Makes sense.

Tokoyami Fumikage : But wait, it gets worse! Not far from there, at another table, I see two other people... My gods! It's Bakugou, with HIS father!

Bakugou Katsuki : Holy ****! Dad's gonna go to prison?

Tokoyami Fumikage : ...how the HELL is that your first assumption? You know what, sure. Believe what you want.

Midoriya Izuku : Am I there too?

Best Jeanist : And here's the basement! This is where our employees come to play video games during breaks, smoke cigars, even have some alcohol after work... You know, the fun stuff. Sometimes we even chat with important clients!

Bakugou Katsuki : Uh. Sounds like a glorified man-cave.

Best Jeanist : Oh, I wouldn't call it my "man-cave". I prefer to call it..

Bakugou Katsuki : ...

Best Jeanist : ...

Bakugou Katsuki : Oh dear God. Please don't. If you say it, I swear to/

Best Jeanist : My "DEN-HIM"!!!

Midoriya Izuku : I'll have you know that in the last U.A. High poll, Bakugou was voted "Most likely to become the #1 Hero".

Monoma Neito : Ha! I can see why he'd qualify. He has more experience than any of us in getting... RESCUED.

Uraraka Ochako : Oh, come on. Deku doesn't have a mean bone in his body.