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@fakesmileshiderealpain
29592) I’ve been eating way more than I want to and I’m almost back to my highest weight and everything is awful. My life is falling apart. I can't live like this so I'm done with food, I never want to eat again. I want to fast until there's nothing left of me.
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Why am I so unwanted???
29585)Â Maybe I'm eating so compulsively because I know I'll start restricting again at some point.
29598) I just don't feel like caring anymore, I want to disappear and see what they do about it.
29605) I gained weight and I have overwhelming anxiety that I’m “fat” again. Now I just want to stop eating and not leave the house until I’ve lost the weight. It’s pretty irrational. I know I have a life outside of this disorder I’m stuck in. I just don’t know how to live it. I think I’m going to relapse. I think it’s going to be big. I don’t know how to stop it. I’m not sure if I want to. Maybe I do? I’m a walking contradiction. I think everybody should love their body but somehow I can’t love mine.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.Â
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
28504) I hate how people look at me because I'm thicker and have no clue I have an eating disorder that's eating me alive.I got down to X gained Y now people have no clue (not like they ever did) just BC I don’t look sick doesn’t mean I'm not sick.
28452)Â I am torn between wanting to be a healthy minded person and wanting to lose weight. I can't do both.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
20452) I don't know what's wrong with me, I've been eating uncontrollably lately.
what kind of hummingbird is this?
20220)Â I sometimes feel like I'm just collecting symptoms and illnesses for show.
20221)Â I just want someone to love me enough to know I'm not okay. Even though I know I have my mom who really does care and love me, I can't put her through this again.
A truly healthy diet
doesn’t exclude foods
is made up of foods, not numbers
is varied and flexible
is not restrictive
allows you to trust your body
is not obsessive
doesn’t use food as a reward or punishment
doesn’t have to be “perfect”
allows you to live your life, but it is not your life
does not exclude any food group
consists of foods that make you feel energized and healthy
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
20165)Â I can feel myself slowly slipping back into my old eating habits. I'm not scared of relapsing or the fact that I'm killing myself. I'm scared because of how much I like this feeling, how much I've missed it.
20143)Â I loved a girl who was malnourished. She couldn't help it; she was near incapable of gaining weight due to her health and she was never proud of it. I trusted her with many things, but I can never admit that our time together sparked an envy in me; that I struggle to achieve what she struggles to overcome. She could hate me, or worse, blame herself. I don't blame her. I only feel I've betrayed her.
