Someone kill me already

Sometimes it becomes too much

and I’m just not enough -

not enough to overcome.

not enough to live through.

not enough to survive.

I’m just not enough. 

Why can’t I take that step without worrying about the consequences? 

Why do I have to keep feeling so bad?

There is absolutely not a single thing I like about this body.

I want to crawl out of this skin. I want to tear it apart. I want to destroy the useless sack of flesh and bones I was born with.

It's all just... So gross and disgusting.

Why do I even bother trying anymore. Nothing i do is ever good enough

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of breaking down. I feel like I am going crazy, and if my mind is an ocean, my thoughts are a tsunami. I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate, I can’t even think straight. I am a fucking mess.

I am not capable of healing. Every single thing that has hurt me and caused me pain or broken me in some profound way has distorted into this wound that bleeds at the slightest touch

Life has given me countless examples to show it’s never going to be okay. That I don’t deserve to be okay. Forget better, or good. And I think I deserve to opt out of such a life