Christian Girl Blog

God placed this on my heart so I want to share:

When I was younger I first became a Christian because I didn't want to go to hell. My faith was purely based on not wanting to go to hell so I would try hard not to sin that way I would go to heaven. However, that is such a watered-down version of why we should have faith. As I grew older I felt God was calling me to reexamine my faith and become close to Him. Over the past 2ish years I have grown so much because instead of being Christian simply to not go to hell my faith was built on my relationship with God. He is the friend, parent, and just love that I have always searched for and wanted. He is the true embodiment of love. If you are wondering why you should be a Christian it is because at your lowest moments, where you feel most broken, underserving, lost, etc. the answer is Christ. HE LOVES YOU, not in a cheesy way but in a way where he died for you to save you from yourself. He wants to show you His love, and he provides peace. It is in a relationship with Him that even though I worry, and feel burdened, I can still have peace because of his presence in my life.

I just pray that anyone reading this accepts Jesus Lord and seeks a relationship with Him. I pray they do not get caught up in the "aesthetics" and try to be "that Christian girl" or the perfect person so that they don't go to hell, but instead I pray they seek you so that they can feel your love so that they can feel your breath of life into their own lungs. I pray that all who read this find you, so that they can encounter the peace, and love I have in following and getting closer to you. Jesus is what you have been seeking. Amen.

Happy Easter Everyone! This morning I read each Gospel about Jesus's resurrection that is celebrated on Easter Sunday. I have to admit, my favorite Gospel is John, and something stood out to me while reading it this time.

John 20: 11-17:  “Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”). Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

What stood out to me is that Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene in her mourning. Her sadness and despair were when Jesus reached out to her. And it reminded me of so many other times in my life. Times when, in the midst of my sadness, I clung to Jesus. Or even more accurately, Jesus reached out to me. The resurrection is the fulfillment of the Gospels, and it is notable that the first person Jesus appeared to was a woman, in mourning. Unfortunately, I have experienced hierarchy in the Church, with women at the bottom. But reading this has reaffirmed that the hierarchy does not come from Jesus. Jesus's love is powerful, and it overpowered the grave.

I pray that this Easter you feel Jesus in your sadness, grief, and doubt, and remember that Jesus is for those that society deems unworthy. Especially as war and genocide continue to take the lives of so many, who others determine as unworthy of life simply due to their race, gender, class, and sexuality. Amen.

Today is Holy Thursday or the Thursday of the Lord's Supper. I have not been on here a while, but I want to get back on and continue to grow in my faith and reach other people. Something that always stands out to me is in the book of John when Jesus washes the disciples' feet. It is such a selfless act, and it reminds me of Jesus's character and how our character should be as fellow Christians, and that is one of service and love. There has been so much going on in the world right now. With wars, genocide, famine, poverty, and more. The greatest tool we have against these atrocities is to serve others. To serve those who do not look or even think like us. To wash the feet of those in our community who may feel hurt or ostracized by the Church. To truly love one another, as there is no greater love than the love of a brother.

John 14-17: "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

During today, this week, and honestly, the rest of my life, I pray that I and anyone reading this serve those in our community unashamed and without reserve. -Amen.

The most powerful prayer I have ever prayed and continue to pray is to ask God to "always pull me closer to Him."

That when I doubt, I ask to "be pulled closer to Him"

That when I am happy or sad or in disbelief or in trials, I ask "that no matter what, you always pull me back to Your goodness and love and light"

And He answers, I hear His voice, I see His face, and I become a better person, learning to love myself and those around me more, to see them and myself as God sees us, beautiful and worthy of love. It can be hard to feel that way, especially when society tells you you must act or look a certain way. That your worth is determined by wealth or status. It is easy to fall into sin when caught up in the spirit of it. But God is always there. So I pray that you will all be pulled closer to Him. I pray that when you feel heavy and weak or happy and strong, you seek His face. Because there is nothing more powerful than God's love and protection.

(Psalms 139)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

This month I have been going through a lot. This week alone I lost someone I considered a friend because she told me that I was "asleep" and that we "were not vibing on the same frequencies." That is seriously what I was told. I became seriously upset. However, I realized that as a Christian and as the Spirit has grown stronger within me I am able to not say necessarily what I want to but instead what I need to. I wanted to lash out and say things that I knew would hurt her like she had hurt me.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:17.

However not doing what someone else does and acting out of anger or hurt does not make me weak. No, it makes me strong. Because the best thing we can do is love like God. It is hard especially when someone you cared about and loved so much as a friend hurts you. But there's freedom in not allowing your feelings to control you because you live your life instead of how God intended for you. Death and life are in the tongue and through love, even in our pain, we can be a light to others.

Sometimes a betrayal is a blessing because it allows you to see who is meant to be in your life.

I pray that all those experiencing betrayal feel the love and peace that comes with putting/giving up your problems to God and moving in the way that Jesus would/does. Jesus is the Good Shepard and He will not leave or forsake you in the midst of your struggles or pain. So cling to Him and move with a love that you can only experience by loving Him.

This week I have been overwhelmed and worried. I have been thinking about the past and the failures of my attempts at romance. It is hard for me to pick up on social cues, especially pertaining to romance. I also do not often have crushes so when I do its a big deal, and instead of going to God about it I get stuck in my head and rely on everything but Him and the Holy Spirit within me. Patience is hard for me I'm a straightforward person so I can avoid having to wait, however, it is in patience that perfection is formed.

This evening I was upset/overwhelmed with all the uncertain thoughts in my head and I also wanted to engage in self-destructive behavior. However, it is in my lowest moments that I feel the call of God, my heart longing for Him because I have secluded Him from my life and thus caused myself a lot of self-induced anxiety. I felt myself being called to my college's chapel. It was unlocked (which is rare because of the time and the day) I felt God calling me. I crossed myself, sat in the pew, and opened up the Bible. This verse popped up:

"Even zeal is not good without knowledge, and the one who acts hastily sins. A person's own foolishness leads him astray, yet his heart rages against the Lord." (Proverbs 19:2-3)

These two short sentences spoke to me, God spoke to me, and I knew that these self-destructive behaviors that I so badly wanted to indulge in to make myself feel better were coming from me thinking without God's guidance. My unwillingness to wait would be my downfall and I must wait on God's timing even if mine felt more convenient in the moment. In waiting, our plan is perfected, and our patience allows for God's goodness to grow and flourish in our lives. As ridiculous as it sounds I often find myself relying on the advice of friends, influencers, and even AI to give me guidance when it comes to romance instead of my own Creator. I was about to make a big mistake, and God took His time and spoke to me in a way I understood so that I wouldn't act foolishly, blaming God for me feeling lonely or confused. Waiting might seem like forever but know that God is aligning your path according to your purpose. His perfect plan coming to fruition under your faithful purpose. God is so good and intentional for us.

I pray that you and I both grow in patience praising God instead of only relying on Him when things are not going our way. To sit in our faith our hearts attached to Him.

I know that God listens to me because after I sat in the church he called me to play the first song in one of my playlists I didn't know what it was because it was a daily playlist (changes every day) this was the song:

Remember God's always listening, even if it seems like you're losing in a plan you've made for yourself just be patient and you will be winning in a perfect plan made for you by the Creator Himself.

When you feel inadequate, lonely, unworthy, or useless, remember that you have a purpose. You were made for this time. God knew you before the stars were formed (Psalm 139). He knows your thoughts and your purpose; He knows it all. You have a purpose, you matter, and you are loved.

This has been a crazy time for me, settling into my new life in college. These new experiences and the people I have met have taught me so much. They have also solidified my faith in Jesus, and I know that everything happens for a reason. Our trials produce endurance this endurance produces faith and in every season we must trust in God, following Him to the path He has beautifully planned for us before we were even alive.

"But we are not those who draw back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and are saved" Hebrews 10:39