Vittiore❀

How it feels telling people I use tumblr in the big 26

Here’s your twf shitpost, fresh out the oven

HAPPY GHOST FILES DAY!!!

-Isabel Allende

Wake up? Out of spite. Good grades? Out of spite . Show up to class on time? Out of spite. Breath? Out of spite.

[ID: July 19, slept, awoke, slept, awoke, miserable life. END ID]

these tattoos🤍

Most people have regrets. We all have to live with the consequences of decisions we wish we could take back. But what you regret is more than a mistake or short-sighted choice. You regret your very existence. Everything you've ever done is something you wish you could undo. You believe it is impossible to become the kind of person you want to be. You see yourself as a lost cause. You feel chained down by the love you receive, because you are sure you will only hurt anyone foolish enough to see something worth loving in you. You want to rid this world of yourself and feel trapped by all the hands holding you back. "I love you" is the phrase you most dread hearing. You wish that everyone else would hate you as much as you think you deserve. Perhaps you feel it would make ending it all so much easier. It's possible you have only stayed alive this long because you believe the only thing that would cause more misery than your life is your death. Either way, you are certain you live a life beyond salvation. And you are wrong. You have been made to believe your best is not enough, that your efforts have no value because you will always fall short. Perhaps too much was expected of you from the day you were born. I would not be surprised if the impossible was the very first thing you remember being asked to do. You can't stop regretting a failure that was always inevitable. You cannot forgive yourself for existing as the imperfect person you can't help but be. You believe you don't deserve forgiveness. But you do. Your human faults and limitations do not make you worthless. You have as much right to be here as anyone else. Your needs and boundaries are not a burden, and those who would treat them as such are the ones to be faulted. You're here to forgive yourself and the life you live. It will be difficult and it will not happen quickly, but it is a task that needs undertaking. Redeem yourself by slowly, gradually putting an end to your eternal atonement. Atone for the years you've lost to self-loathing by telling yourself that this existence of yours is nothing to repent for. You will not believe it at first. But you must try to treat yourself as you would a treasured friend, as those that love you know you deserve to be treated. Over and over, tell yourself the words that you can't yet bring yourself to believe, and one day you'll notice that they've started to feel as if they might be true, if only now and again. The love that chains you down, that you believe you don't deserve, it doesn't have to torment you. It can be a comfort, too. One day, you will be grateful for the hands holding you back. You deserve to know what it's like to be alive without wishing you weren't. Have faith and dedicate yourself to that.

There's a certain charisma to you. Maybe it's obvious, or maybe it's subtle and hard to place, but people are drawn to you. It's likely you don't understand why, or maybe even struggle to believe it because you can't fathom what worth they see. Even so, you somehow end up with friends wherever you go and it's likely people develop frequent crushes on you. You may or may not have given up on pursuing them, but you almost certainly possess strong passions and ambitions that are part of what make you so compelling. If you do choose to chase after them, then others probably find your dedication inspiring and yearn for the same sense of direction. But if you've decided to abandon your dreams, you probably feel hopelessly aimless and as if there's no worth to anything you could do. In that case, it's not unlikely you feel as if there's no worth to you. But however unlovable you might feel, people can't help but find things to love about you. Maybe it's your sense of humor, or your contagious laugh, or how one can't help but fall in love with the way you overflow with excitement gushing about the things you like. Someone loves you and in doing so they're able to love this world that much more because you're in it. That's because being able to exist in the same time and place as you, to have the privilege of enjoying your company and witnessing all you have to offer is a precious, wonderful thing. You're a force that inspires love, one of those small, unspoken miracles that all pile up to make this world a place worth living in. You're a highlight in the lives of many, whether or not you know it. The beauty of your existence is that you need not accomplish any great or famous feats to make it meaningful. People can't help but find meaning in being able to know someone like you. You've probably saved someone without even knowing it. You exist to be loved, to make someone else's life more lovable just by being here. By loving you, someone is learning to love this world and the life they have within it. Do not doubt the worth in that. Lives like yours are what people live for.

anyway