I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Not today Justin

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@fairlytired

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i love when boomers complain about shit like this because as a fast food worker i would literally rather walk out into the lobby and shoot myself in the head than suggest more than one menu item to a customer
Yeah former 8 year Starbucks employ here. This never happens. I’ve have had what amounts to a flip on this happen more often. Something like
“Welcome in what can I get you”
“I want a plain black coffee”
“All rights wha-“
“No sugar or cream or flavor or anything else.”
“Okay, got it, wha-“
“I don’t want no caramachmocha flippy-do’s or frappachina-what-it’s. Just. A plain ol regular black coffee”
“That’s great sir, now please wha”
“Just a old fashioned stright up coff-“
“SIR WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT YOU STUPID FUCKING COFFEE”
hate to break this to you but if you call yourself self aware but you are only aware of your faults and never acknowledge your strengths you are not self aware. you have repackaged your self hatred
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
🧛 nathing vrong vith me
what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

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your twenties are Also about discovering that you’re not a bad person in all the ways you believed you were but you’re a bad person in completely new and exciting ways
hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was
"A world without trans people has never existed and never will"
Poster spotted in Olympia, WA
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

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you know a game is gonna be fire when you see thumbnails like this 🔥
i had to see if this was a real quote and it is
Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed
You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.
How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.
its all about the jaws and the paws
i said the jaws!
and the paws!
and just a little bit of style

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Dandelion shoot, 2026-05-11
Running dog. La chronophotographie. 1899.
I made her into a Gif so she can run again!